thread: *Vent...*

  1. #1
    BellyBelly Member
    Add ~clover~ on Facebook

    Sep 2007


    So, the text goes

    Me -
    'DD didn't mention it yesterday, but there's a good chance she'll need braces in the next few months. She needs a lot of orthodontic work done, after the braces. She has teeth that never grew & possibly never will. Because of this her teeth have moved & are way out of place.
    I'm up for thousands. A little help would be nice if you could possibly bare to help your children out. Just a thought.'
    Probably a little snarky, but he's not ever offered up a cent towards their well being up until this point. The only CS I've received was because the ATO took his tax.

    Him -
    'How much do you need'
    'I will pay for the lot if you ring child support & tell them that me paying for the loan for YOUR car counts as child support. Just a thought.'
    Ok, 4 years ago he got a loan for a car. He didn't get a car loan, he got a personal loan. Everything to do with the car went into my name from day one, including the receipt. After we separated I told him I'd pay half the repayments. I did this for 8 months. In this time he didn't pay anything at all off the loan. He also didn't offer anything towards the kids & the whole time abused, threatened & tried to manipulate myself & my kids. So I told him I couldn't afford it anymore & stopped paying. I have the proof of payments. It wasn't til then I contacted child support. I basically gave him 8 months to get his **** together AND helped him along the way.

    So 3 years later he's been contacted by a debt collector. He's been silly enough to agree to paying $200 every week off this debt. Anyone with common sense knows you can offer $10 a week & they will usually accept it because they actually can't get anything more out of you. Don't forget in all this I'm still paying off a $4000 phone bill HE ran up in my name. Now he wants me to contact child support & tell them the $200 a week he's paying off his debt counts as child support (even though I have NO proof he's actually paying it). So I'm supposed to tell CSA I'm receiving $400 a fortnight, which would probably lose me about $300 a fortnight in payments & not actually receive any money?? Just hand over our food money basically?

    I got a text from his mother later. Accidentally. He'd obviously twisted the story between the 2 texts to make her think I was demanding money right this minute etc etc. Eventually, after I gave her the dentists number to pass on, sent a copy of the 'need to be referred to an orthodontist' a pic of DD's teeth & told her if he just paid child support it'd be a help, but I won't hold my breath.

    'Don't worry I know how hard it is. I've been there, it was a lot harder back then.'
    Really? In the 2 years you were a single parent of 2? Your son has ruined my life. The thought of another relationship & getting close to someone else almost makes me have a panic attack. I just refuse to think about it because the thought makes my chest physically tighten. But please, we'll worry about his stress levels.

    If it wasn't for my kids I'd cut you all from my life. I'm sorry when you tried calling CSA they weren't willing to just drop your payments. Most wives walk away with a hell of a lot more than a damn car. But you let me have all the furniture? You paid for the damn TV & the washing machine 4 years earlier. How dare I think I can keep them AND the car.

    Now I'd like to get on with my day & not give this as much thought as I gave it yesterday & this morning. Get it out & move forward. I'm better than this & I WILL continue to meet every single one of my children's needs, completely alone. Watch me.

  2. #2
    2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    Apr 2009

    Re: *Vent...*

    So sorry your going through this Clover. Your story with your ex is so incredibly similar to mine with my ex although I only have 1 child with him. In the end I had to cut all ties with the entire family. Well as much as you can when your children are old enough to make there own mind up about when they want to see them. At 14 my daughter has worked her entire family out for herself and now doesn't see them.

    As for child support what happened 4 years ago is in the past. Its really irrelevant and I absolutely wouldn't be contacting CS to change anything. He will be assessed to have to pay you the required amount which can include extra needs such orthodontic work. I am in the process of making a claim for extra support. To be paid directly to the orthodontist. My daughters bill for braces is $7000. Currently I don't get a cent from ex as he has changed jobs but if the past is anything to go by it will catch up to him.

  3. #3
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Dec 2008

    Re: *Vent...*

    I don't have any words of wisdom, your ex is a **** and I just want to say that (from what I see) you're doing an amazing job on your own.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Jun 2016

    Re: *Vent...*

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