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Thread: the best thing to do...

  1. #1

    Join Date
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    Default the best thing to do...

    I am in two minds about what is the best thing to do right now

    a month ago I moved 6 hours away from family and friends and XH, to start a new life. Where I am living atm I have cousins, I am living with one cousin atm. However up here the family politics are horrendous!! There is SO much b!tchyness constantly! It is doing my head in. Plus, DS is 6 hours away from his Dad, who he has only just started to properly bond with, I feel like moving him so far away is not the right thing to do for their relationship. I feel very much all on my own up here, though I love the town, it is a lot bigger than where I was living.

    So my choice is to stay here, find a house to rent and do everything on my own, or move back home where all my friend and family are and live with my Dad for a while, while I get on my feet again. At Dads I would have no rent or bills to pay and probably very little food to buy. So living with Dad would certainly make sense financially. Plus then DS would only be an hour away from his Dad and could see him every week instead of every coupld of months. I could see my sisters, nephews and my Mum all the time, plus my friends. Also Archie is very close to his Nanna and Poppy so it would be good for him to to keep the close relationships he has with them. Dad's house is where I grew up and the backyard is awesome for arch, he has trampoline, swing, bike, scooter track, labrador dog who he adores......hmmmmm, looks like the pros of going home to Dads outweigh the positives of staying here. When I moved up here I was only thinking of myself, trying to get far away fom XH so my heart could mend, but I am thinking that the best thing for DS would be to go back home where our whole support network is....

    I needed to get all that out of my head


  2. #2

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    Default

    I am sure you will make the right decision for both of you

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    Default Moving

    Hi there
    From reading your post, it seems that you are positive that DS and you will be moving back to live with your father and it seems to be a good idea cause you have your support network, opportunity to strengthened your financial situation, DS will have more consistent access with XH and there are more positives. It sounds like you will have a great life back with your family and friends in a supportive setting.
    Best of luck
    CobaltBlue

  4. #4

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    Default

    No brainer chickie. You don't have to move to the ends of the earth to start a new life...you just do it!

  5. #5
    feeb's Avatar
    feeb is offline Thankful for the kindness of my 2012 RAK making me Life member

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    Default

    Sounds like you have answered your owm question with that list.

    Would be good for all of you to be in a supportive environment with those who love and support you.

  6. #6

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    Default

    thankyou so much girls! It really is a no brainer hay

    lulu - as always you have given me the best advice, you are right, i dont need to move away to start anew x

    Looks like a I better call my Dad and ask if he wants some house mates (as if he wouldn't!)

  7. #7

    Default

    Wids - Your family is your support network. If DH and I ever broke up I would go straight to mine (which he knows, lol).

    A relationship breakup is something that you need your family and/or close friends to get through. You are going from a situation where you feel unloved and unwanted. Moving far away from people who do love and want you will only compound that. Plus the lonelyness will make you do irrational things.

    Some mums have the best band-aids for everything that hurts.

  8. #8

    Default

    sounds like you know what you need to do. best of luck with it!

  9. #9

    Default

    I've traveled all over the world in different attempts to heal a broken heart or start fresh, make a new place feel like home etc, but I have learned that you just can't out run a broken heart, pain, or anything for that matter.
    I have been tempted to take off again recently (last time it was to a remote vineyard in Italy for a couple of months) but I know the hurt will still be there, only difference is I wont have my family around for support which is so important when healing yourself.
    I believe time, support, relaxation (meditation, yoga), and a conscious effort to focus on the positives in everything are what will lead you to happiness again.
    Just my opinion though, all the best hen x

  10. #10

    Join Date
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    Default

    thankyou so much

    mummy85 - what wonderful advice, thankyou for sharing your life lessons with me xx

    I am back living with my Dad now and Im so happy to be back home with my family! DS is loving it too!

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