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Thread: Can she do this? Advice please

  1. #1

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    Question Can she do this? Advice please

    My sister is trying to get away from her boyfriend. He is a abusive so n so. He won't let her go. They have a 1 year old son together. Can she just get her son and do a runner or would she get and trouble for doing that?


  2. #2

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    If the child is in her custody, seeing she is the mum, and he is at risk I would say she can but she could ring an anonymous line and get legal advice


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  3. #3

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    Unless there are court orders stating she can't take her son away without the fathers permission etc then she most certainly can do a runner. I moved my kids away from my ex and he had no say in it. It was the best decision for my children.
    I hope your sister is okay and things start looking up for her real soon

  4. #4

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    I'm assume they are together, so there are not legal custody orders set up. If this is the case, she is well within her legal rights to just pick the child up and leave.
    My suggestion tho, would to get in contact with the police before hand and start the process of a AVO, that way they will be aware, also as soon as she leaves, start the custody.
    Also before she leaves tell her to take some important documents from the house, birth cert etc, as she properly won't be able to get them afterwards.
    I hope your sister is okay.


    Love MN ;-)

  5. #5

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    If there is no parenting agreement registered with the Family Court she can. However, that said, he has equal custodial rights too if that is the case.

    If she is scared of him and he has threatened her or been recently violent or abusive, my advice would be that she seeks an AVO through the local magistrate's court.

    This can include the child.

    However, for a more permanent solution she would need to go to Family Court. She needs to keep in mind though that unless the violence is pretty extreme (and proven independently) it is likely her ex will still have contact and shared responsibility for the child.

    Hope it goes well for her !

    n2l

  6. #6

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    She needs some DV support and legal advice, stat.

  7. #7

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    Get her to start keeping a diary of everything that has happened and from today happens.

    As Divy said get legal advice asap

  8. #8

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    I agree on the diary, make sure everything is dated. She can do a runner and take bubs as long as like others said there are no custody arrangements in place. Wishing her luck

  9. #9

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    any updates?
    if mother and child are in danger she can do whatever she wants to keep herself and child safe... once she is gone there could be court stuff if he wants but honestly, would a violent man who she had to run away from, get custody!? no point getting legal advice and courts n stuff involved BEFORE she leaves, could cause trouble if he finds out n make him more violent.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by _JeSs_ View Post
    any updates?
    if mother and child are in danger she can do whatever she wants to keep herself and child safe... once she is gone there could be court stuff if he wants but honestly, would a violent man who she had to run away from, get custody!? no point getting legal advice and courts n stuff involved BEFORE she leaves, could cause trouble if he finds out n make him more violent.
    yeah there is a good reason to at least speak to a parenting adviser about options. DV situations aren't just about him throwing fists - there is financial and emotional abuse as well. the person needs to know what her rights are, what she can do, where she can go, and how to protect herself. she needs to know about entitlements financially if she leaves etc

    yes, up and leaving sounds easy - and do all the administrative stuff later - but reality is, if DV is involved, you can get social worker assistance and get everything in place asap because you've already done the leg work and know what to do. a DVO is kinda pointless if you leave and it takes you four or five days to find out what you need to provide and to who - in those four or five days, anything can happen.

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by briggsy's girl View Post
    yeah there is a good reason to at least speak to a parenting adviser about options. DV situations aren't just about him throwing fists - there is financial and emotional abuse as well. the person needs to know what her rights are, what she can do, where she can go, and how to protect herself. she needs to know about entitlements financially if she leaves etc

    yes, up and leaving sounds easy - and do all the administrative stuff later - but reality is, if DV is involved, you can get social worker assistance and get everything in place asap because you've already done the leg work and know what to do. a DVO is kinda pointless if you leave and it takes you four or five days to find out what you need to provide and to who - in those four or five days, anything can happen.


    Agree with BG

  12. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by briggsy's girl View Post
    yeah there is a good reason to at least speak to a parenting adviser about options. DV situations aren't just about him throwing fists - there is financial and emotional abuse as well. the person needs to know what her rights are, what she can do, where she can go, and how to protect herself. she needs to know about entitlements financially if she leaves etc

    yes, up and leaving sounds easy - and do all the administrative stuff later - but reality is, if DV is involved, you can get social worker assistance and get everything in place asap because you've already done the leg work and know what to do. a DVO is kinda pointless if you leave and it takes you four or five days to find out what you need to provide and to who - in those four or five days, anything can happen.
    im just going from what ive seen through my work, they try to get the woman and child safe and out of the situation 1st, no point in getting people involved if it makes things worse and makes the violent partner more of a danger, ive seen something like that and it didnt work out well... that stuff needs to be done of course but safety comes 1st... i think she just needs to find out somewhere safe to go where her partner doesnt know where she is and then get onto everything straight away

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