thread: Christmas is gone...

  1. #1
    BellyBelly Member
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    Sep 2007
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    Christmas is gone...

    And I'm a little ****ed.

    Ex told DD2 a while ago that he was coming for a visit & taking the kids camping. I didn't say anything, but I knew it wouldn't happen. Even DD1 knew better than to believe it.

    Then she made him a Christmas card & told the whole world he would be coming over & taking them camping. She's still so excited!




    And he didn't even bother to call them for Christmas. He still hasn't called. He makes me sick.



    *sigh* the day this all sinks in my poor baby is going to be broken

  2. #2
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber
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    Mar 2008
    Waterloo, Merseyside, UK
    2,543

    Re: Christmas is gone...

    Huge hugs to you both. Not easy for you watching it happen. Some men dont deserve the title father. I cant believe he hasnt phoned or anything. Much love xxz

  3. #3
    BellyBelly Member

    Dec 2008
    Brisbane, QLD
    5,171

    Re: Christmas is gone...

    hugs for you and your little girl.

  4. #4
    BellyBelly Member
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    Sep 2007
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    Re: Christmas is gone...

    Nope, still nothing. Makes me sick.

    I'm sure the child he lives with enjoyed his first Christmas though. Which is going to make it even worse for my kids when they think about it. They still haven't said anything, so hopefully they've not even thought about it. But I'm fuming!

  5. #5
    BellyBelly Member
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    May 2009
    Hunter Valley, NSW
    229

    Re: Christmas is gone...

    My ex is just as bad - he's got 3 kids with his new wife and has posted pics all over FB (which friends have very kindly sent me *grr*).

    It's so sad for the kids but all we can do as mums is give them twice the love xx

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Member
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    Re: Christmas is gone...

    I have them both blocked on fb & we don't have any friends who'd send me anything. He pretty much cut everyone out of his life when I left. Well after he tried manipulating them into thinking it was all me. He eventually realised when people learned what he was really like that they lost respect for him. Rather than try to gain that respect back, he's basically started a new life.

  7. #7
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber
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    Mar 2008
    Waterloo, Merseyside, UK
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    Re: Christmas is gone...

    Hows things huni. God he reminds me of my real dad. Iv been trying to get hold of him for weeks to tell him about bub and found out boxing day he knows but hasnt contacted me. Some people. U saw the pics of my bro and niece at xmas her mum has finally turned up yesterday after not showing xmas etc xx huge hugs xx

  8. #8
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    Re: Christmas is gone...

    Still nothing. His mum should've seen that post on FB. I don't even know if they've seen him.

    Last year he threw a tanty coz even though we were in nsw, I hadn't included him in our Christmas plans. I told him he could come see them, or pay the petrol for them to go to him, but he just came up with more excuses.

    I don't know what to think. I don't know if I should be angry & call (her phone) to have it out, or let it go. I don't know if I should hope he calls, or hope this is it & him & his empty promises finally leave us alone for good.
    Neither of those are really winners in my mind :/
    Last edited by ~clover~; December 30th, 2013 at 02:33 AM.

  9. #9
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber
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    Mar 2008
    Waterloo, Merseyside, UK
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    Re: Christmas is gone...

    I dont blame you its such conflicting situation and sad. I think the sad thing is if the kids want to speak to him they will ask. I know from experience with my own so called father that from a young age he wasnt interested in having contact or a relationship with me...he does with my 2 sisters...he used to buy them christmas presents and cards and they would try and hide them from me. Do you think saying something will change his behaviour? If not dont put yourself through it. Much love and hugs its hard when it affects your beautiful little ones xxxx

  10. #10
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jun 2010
    594

    Re: Christmas is gone...

    Unless the kids ask for you to call him, I'd leave it to be honest. Calling him/her to have it out with them, won't change a thing. He'll still be the deadbeat who couldn't call his kids for Christmas. Sadly its going to be a lesson that your kids will learn about their father either now or later. Just love them, hug them and let them talk through their emotions about it. Is there a counsellor or someone at school when the kids go back that can have a quiet word to your DD to see how she is coping with it?

    Big I know how much it sucks to have a deadbeat dad on the scene.

  11. #11
    BellyBelly Member
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    Re: Christmas is gone...

    I'm not going to call. If I was going to say anything, I'd probably have done it by now. But if he ever does call again, I don't think I'll be able to help myself.

    These things have happened a lot over the last 2 years. Promises of birthday presents, or money but not actually doing anything about it. He promised DD1 he'd put $100 in the bank for her birthday last year... he didn't bother, but then put $100 in for DD2. DD2 & DS were the only ones he bothered with. This year none of them got anything.
    But I was left pretty confused. Do I bring it up & tell DD the money hadn't gone in? Or just leave it. I didn't want her thinking I'd gone & spent it & not told her or something (at her age she could've been thinking it), but I just left it.

    Now when DD2 talk about how he's taking them camping, poor DD1 just rolls her eyes. She doesn't say anything, but she already knows better. That's just screwed up & I still can't believe this is our life :/ This is the person I chose to marry & have kids with

  12. #12
    BellyBelly Member

    Aug 2010
    Albs, WA
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    Re: Christmas is gone...

    That sux.

  13. #13
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    Re: Christmas is gone...

    He finally called on Friday. Used the excuse that the kids wouldn't want to talk to him, so he didn't bother.

    Then had the hide to say to me 'and you always go on about having no money' coz I'd taken the kids away for a few days! And the old 'I've got a baby you know' as an excuse for no child support. I know for a fact that he conned this kid into having the damn baby. He wasn't an accident! You don't have a ****ing baby if you can't afford the ones you already have you piece of ****!

    I still can't believe I'm living this. I'd expect this from a one night stand or something. A relationship where a baby wasn't planned, not from the person I married!



    But hey, we just had the best holiday ever Nothing can ruin that

  14. #14
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Sep 2008
    Gold Coast
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    Re: Christmas is gone...

    Congrats on the great holiday. :