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Thread: Hats off to single Mums (and Dads)

  1. #1

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    Default Hats off to single Mums (and Dads)

    Ever since DD was born I've been thinking about how much tougher this gig would be if I didn't have a really supportive and involved partner. For the past 2 hours DH and I have been playing tag-team trying to get DD to sleep. I'm still quite calm as I have 'relief' when it all gets too frustrating or stressful but I know how frazzled and 'over it' I have become when I've had to do it by myself.

    Everything... shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, nappies, dealing with tears and even finding the energy to be fun and play is made a little easier by having back-up. I hope that doesn't come across as in some way boastful that I have a partner. That's not my intention at all. It's just that this experience keeps reminding me how lucky I am and how much harder I would have to work if I were a single Mum.

    So I just wanted to take my hat off to you single Mummies. You are AMAZING and I am in awe of you.


  2. #2

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    Default hit motorist

    well
    to be honest , to me anways, it makes me feel like you came here to gloat
    im sitting here think ' weel isnt she lucky;
    i know u said that was not at all how it was intended
    but im sorry that is how it makes me feel

  3. #3

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    Thanks Kat, I think it's really nice when someone aknowledges how hard it can be...and it is hard but it someways its easier. It's not easier if you have someone you love and who is a help but it is easier if the other person you have with you is more of a hinderence! For me it's way easier being a single Mum then putting up with XDH and his crap!

    I think a lot of people don't want to moan (I mean really, who wants to hear it??) so it's nice when someone says "well done". When my Mum came over if I had a bit of a moan she would say "wow you'd think you're the only person who'd ever had 3 kids" Erm well she did and she was married, didn't work and had 2 sets of Grandparents to help...

    Anyway I digress...I don't think you came accross in that way at all...so thank you!

  4. #4

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    I agree! There are days I count the hours until DH arrives home from work and if he is caught up at work i think Grrrrr.......

    Single parents by choice or not - well done!!!!

    xxxx

  5. #5

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    Cmama, I know you are having a rough trot lately but I can vouch for our Santosha - she is a lovely lady and not the gloating type.

    Ta Kat! It's not easy sometimes...but there are distinct advantages sometimes

    xoxoxoxo

  6. #6

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    I did not get that vibe at all,
    As Lulu said - thanks but sometimes it isnt easy!! but most of the time i think i wouldnt have it any other way!!!

  7. #7

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    Thanks Santosha, it is hard at times but i wouldnt change it for the world...i see it like this if i was still with my ex... it would just be like having another child to look after lol

    No in all seriousness i think the positives of being a single parent outweigh the negatives..for me anyway.
    Sometimes we only pay attention to the negatives and dont enjoy the positives as a result the negatives take over..(i have no idea if that made any sense but it did in my head lol)

  8. #8

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    I say hats off to you too! My mum was a single parent and had no family support so I have seen first hand how tough it can be at times. I think you all do a wonderful job!

  9. #9

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    Sometimes i worry about this place

    But i agree, hats off. I don't think i'd be able to do it.

  10. #10

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    i too am in awe of how single parents manage. My husband has recently been away for 2 weeks and to be honest i didn't cope well at all. I had an 7 month old not sleeping as well as a rowdy toddler who is up and full of beans at 6.30. Living on 4 hours broken sleep is hard work, but NEVER getting a break from the kids is really tough on a person. I had a few meltdowns and moments of 'i just can't do this anymore'. I am quietly freaking out because he is going in another two weeks for 3 weeks.

    I take my hat off to all the single parents out, you do an amazing job holding your families together.

    And cmama i too have met Santosha and she is a very kind and gentle person, her comments, as are mine, are heartfelt, meant to give you a pat on the back, not make you feel bad.

  11. #11
    rhyb Guest

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    Thanks Santosha and everyone else
    Definitely didnt get any nasty vibe from that darl.

  12. #12

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    Well thankyou my love. It is damn hard sometimes - but sometimes it is easier when there is no FOTY to complicate the day!

    I only heard kudos from you - and I thankyou for being such a generous spirit to give those who have a different situation thought. You rock!

  13. #13

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    I too take my hat off to those who go it alone. I am contantly amazed at the single mothers I know who are always so positive and happy dispite doing tough at times. It makes me realise I am so lucky and they in turn encourage me to be more positive. You are all awesome mummys and your children are indeed blessed!!

  14. #14

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    I agree too I often think and say how amazing you all are!!!!!

  15. #15
    smiles4u Guest

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    *** WONDERFUL & heartfelt said thread Santosha

    ............ i have many friends whom are single parents & i seriously DO all i can as a friend to help them in anyway i can ... i tell them what an amazing job they do & praise them when i can see they need to also hear it, as they do tell me not many people feel as i do towards them & it means the world to them to just hear it even once in awhile.

    i can't explain how much admiration i have for single Mums & Dad's too, to be both parents & do it ALL is just amazing.

    Even though my Mum wasn't a single parent she might as well been as my Dad was never around, he would go to work then head straight to the pub to get drunk & spend most of his income & come home after midnight when we as kids/teens were in bed. I just never saw Dad hardly ever even though we lived in the same house. I watched my Mum often depressed having to do everything on her own, mowing lawns ... just everything & the financial struggle on a day to day basis was heartbreaking to watch her go through it. Mum would go without shoes to make sure us kids didn't suffer.

    So, YES my hat goes off to ALL single parents

  16. #16

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    i totally agree. i hate it when dh goes away for the weekend or is late home from work. single mummas are awesome.

  17. #17

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    Thanks for starting this one, Santosha Many times I have wanted to start a similar thread myself but have worried that it may come across as being boastful or smug, when my intention is anything but... I think you and the other girls have put it very well!

    Single mummies (and daddies)... you guys RULE. I struggle every day with my two kids and I am extremely fortunate to have my (sometimes not-so-wonderful) DH around to take the pressure off when things get too much for me. I cannot fathom the sleepless nights, the teething troubles, the toddler tantrums, the trips to the grocery stores, etc etc etc, without a LOT of help. You all are AMAZING women (and men) for being both mum and dad to your kids, for making huge sacrifices to ensure their safety and wellbeing, and dealing with the day-to-day grind with nobody to cry to at the end of a difficult day. I absolutely would take my hat off to you if I ever wore one, I look pretty stupid in hats. Big, BIG round of applause from me to you guys Keep up the great work!

  18. #18

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    Oh gosh ive said this often!!! I was baby sitting a neighbours 1yr old had my DSD (4 at the time) and had a dog that wouldnt walk and had to manage us all into the car to the vet all by myself! Not fun!

    Great job ladies & gentlemen!!

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