Hi...soon to be a single parent

Stars, I'm sure you'll find lots of support on here. I know I have. Don't listen to a single word he says!

I asked my bub's dad for some space a couple of months ago and then last week he told me he's gone back to his ex and their daughter. I was under the impression we would work it all out but it would seem not. He said to give me "space" was asking too much and he couldn't wait another 2 months until bub is born to work things out. So, I'm about to become a single mum too!

I came in here to introduce myself but then read your post. Please don't feel alone. You aren't.

Kate
x

Dear Stars, I hope things are going ok for you now. It sounds to me like he is just trying to make you feel guilty or something.. or emotionally abusing you in some ways by saying things like no man would want you because you're a single mother.. pfft what a load of.. stuff :P

My ex said the same types of things to me when I broke up with him, but he'd also been saying no one would want me when we were together, but that was to do with depression & him trying to make himself seem like a saint.. Anyway, he is just trying to encourage you to feel as low as he is. He is the one with the problem, and from the sounds of it, it's probably better in a way it's all happening now so hopefully things will have time to have settled down by the time the baby is born.

I agree with what fionas said, having a lazy uninterested partner is FAR worse than being on your own. Yeah it's hard being on your own & not having another persons income, but it is so frustrating and stressful to try to get someone to help or to carry that resentment of having someone in the house who won't help out. Well, I was resentul, but maybe I'm weird.

Now I am with a man who a while ago was actually kind of afraid of kids and said he didn't like them (due to spending time with our friends children.. we've been friends for 13years). But he's said after seeing me look after DS and spending time with DS he could definitely see himself with his own children one day and seems to enjoy spending time with me & DS. I had listened to my ex and thought no one would ever want me because I'm a single mother, but that wasn't true.

Good luck with everything and I hope you have a happy & healthy pregnancy.

:

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Now I am with a man who a while ago was actually kind of afraid of kids and said he didn't like them (due to spending time with our friends children.. we've been friends for 13years). But he's said after seeing me look after DS and spending time with DS he could definitely see himself with his own children one day and seems to enjoy spending time with me & DS. I had listened to my ex and thought no one would ever want me because I'm a single mother, but that wasn't true.

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I think that men see how we interact with our children and they see a strong caring loving women and realise that the kids side is not that bad at all.

Thank you so much Melly & Brendan's mum...

I seem to be running through a whole gammut of emotions. Logically in my head I know you are both right and in many ways he is behaving like a spoiled brat, just my heart hurts at the thought that there will be somuch that he will be missing out on...

I don't know why he says the things he does, I just know I have never been under so much pressure in my life, but I am getting through day by day and trying to keep in mind that every day that passes is a day closer to meeting the baby!

I really appreciate your support and encouragement

Rachelle

Rachelle,
I really wouldn't be worrying about what your partner (or ex) is missing out on, he mad the decision and must live with the consciquence (i know it's spelt wrong.. lol). your child is better of with a loving mother and no father than having a 'daddy" that doesn't want them.

You need to focus your attention on your needs, go get your hair cut or nails done and make yourself feel nice :)