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Thread: I can't do this alone

  1. #1

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    Thumbs down I can't do this alone

    So surprise surprise, everything has spectacularly fallen apart with DP (how predictable), and I'm going to have a toddler and a newborn alone. I have no idea how to cope with this fact, this is just about the last thing I could ever want for myself and my life. I don't even think I have the ability to do this let alone the motivation to. I am totally, completely stuck in this situation and there's nothing to do but suffer. Is there anyone out there who's done this without contemplating suicide?


  2. #2

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    no advice just massive hugs huni...im so sorry you are going through this....love rach xox

  3. #3

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    Hang in there -

    x

  4. #4

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    I did it, I had a newborn and an 18mth old. I won't lie, it was hard work. But I'm still here 10 years on

    You're a strong person, YOU CAN do it.

  5. #5

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    neenee- have you got support from other people -like family and friends?

  6. #6
    rhyb Guest

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    I havent done it yet but my DS is 14months old and Im 17 weeks pregnant with triplets and I dont have a partner. Im just going to take it a day at a time and remember that Im doing the best I can. I think if youre providing a loving stable home your kids will love you for it even through the tough times. Itll be hard but its worth it in the end
    If you ever want someone to talk to Im here *hugs*

  7. #7

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    Thanks, ladies. I do have support from my mother, who keeps saying how she'll help me. She does with DD but didn't much when she was a baby so I'm not so sure. Well she would probably say she did help a lot but I mostly remember feeling exhausted and abandoned (by everyone especially DP), so I don't see how I'll manage going through that again (it nearly drove me insane the first time) with a toddler. How can it be done? And isn't it horribly lonely? I can't imagine giving birth and holding my newborn alone without DP, it seems totally wrong. Now I'm crying at the net cafe lmao.

  8. #8

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    You CAN do this!! But ATM I am worried about you Where are you living, who is nearby and what support can we get sorted before the baby arrives?? You have done a wonderful job with DD - even when you were going solo for a bit.

    There are resources out there - you just need help to access them. If you really feel like the ground is fast approaching and the only out is suicide (but I am hoping that is just venting to get it off your chest!!) then please contact Lifeline or the nearest hospital / GP for some support

    You are the most important person in the life of your little one and the unborn one. You are important. You are strong. You can do this

  9. #9

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    hey hun im so sorry you r going through this, have u got family support nearby? parents, friends i know its hard to ask for help wel but will make all the difference hun i kno it was for me but without there support n help i wouldnt of been able to do it my situation even mine was abit different as my xp left me b4 bub was born. i really feel for you hun having too little ones im so sorry to hear this is happening to u my thoughts n prayers r with u x

    i know u can stay strong i no it doesnt seem like it but it will get easier i promise hang in there hun xx

  10. #10

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    michelle is right. maybe some of us can help you. are you in melbourne?

  11. #11

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    I wish I had support from friends, but I don't. The only friend I have right now is an ex boyfriend who wants to sleep with me, w00h00. Everyone my age is drinking and partying, and older parents aren't interested (you should've seen the way we were completely ignored at birthing class when we said how old we were; dp 20 and me 18 at the time). That might be half the problem, I feel so alone. Unfortunately all of the friends I was close to had such problems in their own life that I couldn't be around them, as it was dangerous and damaging to me and DD.

    edit: I'm in Perth. I think we posted at the same time.

  12. #12

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    I'm sure that you will be happier in time - as you won't be worrying about relationship problems with your ex which could really drag you down - in time which should be happy.
    Your baby and toddler will also be well aware of how you're feeling too, they can pick up stress and it can affect them too. They need you hun. I'm sure they'd rather a happy single mummy than a stressed out mummy in a relationship that isn't working...

    You have to be strong hun, and take the help from your mum - and don't be afraid to ask for help either. Have a look at what resources there are out there. I am sure you can even find strength in a mothers group...even if its once a week...Not to mention us at BB!!!!

    Hugs for you hun!

  13. #13
    SugarDust Guest

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    Neenee - YOU CAN DO THIS!!! You are a strong independent woman that is capable of doing anything she sets her heart/mind to! You have us all here when ever you need us! chin up girl you'll get through it stronger than when you began!

    If you need to talk you can pm me!

  14. #14

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    I know it's not the point anymore but even if I somehow CAN do this, I don't WANT to. Like I honestly can't see anything other than suffering and misery for the next god knows how many years. I'm by myself in this ****hole flat with hardly any money, sleep deprived and alone and unhappy. Life shouldn't be like that. I just want to run away but it's kind of impossible to run away from something that's growing inside you.

  15. #15

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    I know exactly what you mean when you say you 'don't want' to do this. Sometimes life throws you things that you really feel as though you can't handle. You will do it whether you want to or not and you'll do a FANTASTIC job. In 10 years time you will look back on this time and be so proud of yourself for getting through it. Remember you're a brilliant mother!!

    If you need anything let me know!

  16. #16

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    I think once you have gotten used to the idea, you'll find it alot easier to face.
    I do want to say that its easier having noone to rely on, than to think you have someone & have them constantly letting you down.
    Give it time hun

  17. #17

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    I lost my mum in the Jan and then my DH in the April, and had a 9 month old DD. I look back now, I was 23 , and think how did I ever get through it.

    My DD and I did, and you will too. We did it hard over the years financially. then things come your way, and you get by, it's not the fairy tale life, we all dreamed of, but you will find a life that is fullfilling.

    Right now you really need to take one day at a time, it wont be suffering and misery for the next so many years, it's just right now, you are in the worst of it, so it's hard to see anything postive.

    I helped a young g/f who is a single mum, get her own place, and budget when she thought her life was at it's end. You really need support and some direction right now, and everything will fall into place.

    If you really feel your accom is a **** hole, can you look online and apply for another unit, one that, will be more pleasant for you to spend time in ? That may be step one.. Perhaps one quite close to your mum, as you will need to draw on her for support.

  18. #18

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    wouldloveabubba, that must've been really hard, I don't know how I'd cope. I really appreciate that and I hope it does get better, to be honest DP is in prison for domestic violence so the only way I'm coping is by organizing to meet with police officers, prosecutors, DV victim support etc. and keeping tabs on the case and planning my next action to try and help him, "On Monday I'll call and see if the police agreed to drop the charges" sort of thing (which they didn't for those who are interested). If I actually DID let this go I don't think I'd be able to cope with even having DD, my parenting has gone downhill fast since he left. I'm so upset I can barely function.
    I can't afford anything else sadly, even the one bedroom I have now is tiny and expensive in a dodgy suburb.

    Thanks for your support everyone.

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