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Thread: newly single and 3 months pregnant

  1. #1
    mollyb Guest

    Default newly single and 3 months pregnant

    hi my name is molly and i am 24 and four monhs pregnant. My boyfriend has just left me to go and start his career in perth. it is something he has had planned for over a year now and as the pregnancy was unplanned i feel like i cannot hold him back from it. I am not angry with him anymore but am just really sad that he will not be here for all the important milestones. he says he wants to be here for the baby and support it in every way he can but i am just struggling to deal with my greif that my baby will not have a mother and father present at all times. i have seen on the forum that there are a few women in similar circumstances and im just looking for some advice and support as it is quite overwhelming at the moment.


  2. #2
    SugarDust Guest

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    Welcome to BB and congrats on the pregnancy!

    There is heaps of support here and I'm sure someone will be along to help you real soon

  3. #3
    rhyb Guest

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    Hey where in Aus are you if you dont mind me asking?? Theres a young couples thread which you are more than welcome to have a squizz in were all very friendly.
    Wishing you a H & H pregnancy

  4. #4
    SossiGirl's Avatar
    SossiGirl is offline Believes things do happen for a reason.. but sometimes would like to know what the reason is

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    Perth, WA
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    408

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    Hi MollyB
    I am so sorry to hear that your boyrfiend has left you and your bubs.
    I am sure you will find lots of help on BB, its a great source of help and information.
    Just wondering if you have discussed moving to Perth with him? You would make new friends through swimming groups, mothers group, playgroup etc. A girl in my playgroup has moved here with her partner her family is from Melbourne and although doesnt have the support of her family she really likes it here.

  5. #5
    mollyb Guest

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    hi mis tree
    thanks for your reply. we were together for 2 1/2 years before i fell pregnant. we are enormously close and remained that way right up untill the end. there is much love in our relationship but he i someone who carries alot of past problems with him. My main concerns are the lonliness that im going to experience and the great sadness that i must go through. i already miss him like crazy and its only been a couple of days. I have other concerns related to the baby of course but right now my heart is aching so much that its hard to focus on anything else.
    6 months later how do you feel your managing? Do you have much to do with your babys father?

  6. #6
    mollyb Guest

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    hi sossigirl,
    thankyou for your reply. At the moment he is not in a place to really ask me to go with him. Its something he wants to experience on his own. I'm not really sure what the future holds for us but its hard to say because somethimes communicating with him is like doing so with a 15 year old. he is kind of in the state of mind where he doesnt feel ready to commit hes a big kid who wants to play the field and have a bit of fun for a bit. I would consider perth but im not going to push myself on him, if it happens it happens i just have to wait and see if he grows up a bit.

  7. #7
    angel_munchkin Guest

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    hi there!

    I know exactly how your feeling, I have been a single mum since I was 3 months pregnant with my youngest (who is now 4).

    Where are you situated?

    Im in melb. VIC.

    Would like to keep intouch and try and offer you some support, having been in the same position as you are.

    hope to chat to you soon,

    Bec

  8. #8
    angel_munchkin Guest

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    hi there!

    I know exactly how your feeling, I have been a single mum since I was 3 months pregnant with my youngest (who is now 4).

    Where are you situated?

    Im in melb. VIC.

    Would like to keep intouch and try and offer you some support, having been in the same position as you are.

    hope to chat to you soon,

    Bec

  9. #9
    mollyb Guest

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    hi bec
    its comforting to know that other women have been through this too. I am in sydney. What was your circumstance when you became single? i am still very much in love with my babys father and i know that he loves me too but things are really compliacted. would be really good to keep in touch. look forward to hearing from you soon
    molly

  10. #10
    mollyb Guest

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    hi again miss tree
    thankyou for your reply. i am sorry to hear that things are so difficult with your ex. you seem like a really strong person. My babys father has just turned 25 but is still a teenager at heart. im in sydney and have a really strong support network, my family are really supportive and i have wonderful friends, but it is still very daunting the prospect of doing this alone and without the person who means the most to me.

  11. #11

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    mordialloc
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    Hi Molly,

    i know how you feel as will most here at BB and this forum and site has provided me with some advice and support. as a single mum and now 26 weeks pregnant.

    i too was left by someone who i am in love with when i found out i was 8 weeks pregnant. Although being nice about it he didnt want to be a dad, he is a guy who at 42 is still sowing his oats and having fun with life with no committments. He is in NZ 2 weeks a month .

    My advice, and this is what got me though some of the intial pain,lonlienss and anxiety about being pregnant , is to acknowledge the type of guy your BF is and instead of worrying about him, use your support network to give you strength and support and do things that are right for you and your bub. i found i spent more time worrying about him and his feelings rather than my own which sapped a lot of my energy and increased my stress levels. You cant force someone to do somehting they either arent ready for or dont want to be involved.

    I found that once i opened up here and to some friends and support people i wasnt on my own, even though still i miss my relationship with my babys dad as we were extremely good friends on top of our relationship.

    Right now i am enjoying my pregnancy and the planning around the impending birth of my little girl, from there i'll take one day at a time and work out whats right for me and my bub. to be honest its taken me around 4 months to get to that point and its not easy but you will see that you are a strong woman and it's amazing what we can actually do when the going gets tough.

    Keep smiling and know you are not alone


  12. #12
    mollyb Guest

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    hi samm
    thanks for your reply
    you seem as though you are coping really well even though you are still in love with your ex. How did you get through these heartbreaking days?. i sometimes feel like i cant breathe. and at the moment i have no interest in my pregnancy. I dont want to be without him ever, especially at this time. How do you feel about your ex now? do you think there is any chance of a reconcilliation? I am hoping im my situation that we will be together again but i know also that it is naive of me to hold onto this as a definate. I am hurting so bad right now, i wish i could just fast forward all this hurt to a day when i am stronger

  13. #13

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    mordialloc
    Posts
    155

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    Hi HOlly,

    i hope you're ok. Nope - my ex and i have separate lives and dont really speak now because of me being pregnant. i'll let him know when this little bubba girl arrives and he can choose from there but as for a relationship - no. i will always have a special feeling for the ex and will never bear him any grief - i've seen how these situations have turned out when there is grief: its not good for the mum or dad and defintely not for bubs. So that is why i decided enough was enough and look after me instead of worrying what may be or the ex. The fact you're on here and getting it out is a good start - its a little easier to pour things out here than in the real world. Remember that the pregnancy hormones are well and truly kicking in by now and everything may be worse or more daunting than it really is. MY hormones went on a real rampage and the boys at work wondered where the dragon lady came from

    I hope that it does work out for you but lay your cards out on the table with him and let him make a choice and always do whats best for you.

    i still have moments when i miss him but now i cant wait for bubs to arrive and start a new chapter of life - scary but exciting. Families come in all shapes and guises - whilst we would all love to have the 'traditonal' family being different isnt that bad.


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