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Thread: No support...how would you feel? *Kinda vent*

  1. #1

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    Unhappy No support...how would you feel? *Kinda vent*

    I'm not a single mother, but I'm parenting on my own, since DH works 10 hours away & we have really only seen him once every 6 weeks lately, so I hope this is ok here.



    Ok, this might be long...

    12 months ago I got sick of having not only no support, but because of it, no friends, so I moved 10 hours away from my DH to be closer to my family. I needed friends, I needed support, I needed help...mentally.

    I lived with mum & dad for 2 months, then they found a place 10 minutes out the road & I stayed in their place.

    Soon DH & I were having serious issues & we had a 'break'. We worked things out, got back together & have been ok since then. He moved up here to be with us & even though we've had a really hard crappy time financially & with cars, our relationship hasn't been too bad.

    So...about 2 months ago my mum & dad buy a block of land. 40 minutes of windy road away, but I'm stoked for them! It has a shed/house on it, not the high life, but we love it.

    About 2 months or a bit more, we decide we can't keep living like this. Barely making the rent & food every week, so DH headed back out for work. 10 hours away again.

    Had a few more car troubles, but we were ok. Til last week. DH had to get back out for work & we didn't have another $400 for me to drive him out there, & I didn't want to spend 20 hours in the car in 2 days with 3 kids!

    So I ring my mum & ask for some help...if they can lend DH one of their THREE cars to get out there, so he doesn't have to take mine. I do need mine. We are in a small town 15kms from the nearest shopping centre!
    She gets back to me...dad will run DH out in your car if you pay the petrol...umm...not possible! So I just didn't bother. Let DH take my car having no clue when I'd see it again & hoped someone would help out somehow...

    Then on Thursday, mum rings me. Tells me she's thinking dad might come get me & the kids & take us out there for a night this weekend. I said that would be great, coz I can get some things in town I can't get here that I really really need! (Hint, hint, I really need to get to town!) Oh & after only 2 days with DS's teething necklace & eye teeth cutting, I'd really like that back desperately too!!

    So anyway, here we are...Saturday night...haven't heard a thing from mum & dad. Assuming they won't come in tomorrow just to take me to town...Sent a few messages about some stuff going on...no reply. Including that DD1 has a school concert next Friday & I need to get there...would they like to come watch too...

    I know when my car will be back now...2 weeks, but what do I do til then? All my friends have kids, so once you add my 2 at home car is usually too full, so can't get them to run me anywhere. I'll be stuffed if I need the hospital in the middle of the night! I'm sure I could borrow my mates car, but she's single too! She can't leave her babies in bed in the middle of the night to bring me the car! And mum & dad only have enough service at their place for messages, so I doubt I could wake them in the middle of the night if I actually needed them!

    For some reason I was kinda hoping they'd loan me one of the utes or something incase of emergency...since as I said, there are only 2 of them & 3 cars...

    What should I do? Walk down to the over priced corner shop here & try to do a weeks worth of shopping, to have to walk it all, with 2 kids, in the pram about 2 kms, up hill, home?? Then pray that the kids stay healthy for the next 2 weeks??

    So happy DH got this great new job & that I'll have my car back in 2 weeks, but what the heck do I do in the mean time???

    Sorry this was so long guys...feel free to not read it all! lol. How would you feel if this was you??



    ETA - its a bit scattered...sleep deprivision is one of the other bonuses! DS not going to sleep til like 11pm, sometimes later, then having to be up at 7 - 7.30 am for school. I don't get time to catch up! Something i also pointed out to mum last weekend when she offered to take the kids for a night, but never showed.

    (Is deprivision even a word??? Lol)
    Last edited by ~clover~; October 31st, 2009 at 10:17 PM.

  2. #2

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    Oh sweetie, I couldn't read your post and not offer you some big hugs. I can only imagine how frustrating and nerve-wracking it must be to be stranded. How mean of your parents to not offer you the use of a spare car until your DH gets back!
    I'm sorry hun, I have no useful advice for you. Just couldn't read that and not let you know I feel for your very sticky predicament. I hope things work out for you and that some wiser BBers can offer you some solutions!

  3. #3

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    Deprivation is the word you're looking for

    Jokes aside - I would be quite peeved if my mum couldn't see to lend me one of the cars, especially as there seem to be surplus! I don't think you're being unfair at all.

  4. #4
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    feeb is offline Thankful for the kindness of my 2012 RAK making me Life member

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    Hugs hun I have no advice but couldnt read and not reply to you.

    Hope the next 2 weeks go fast

    xoxoxo

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    Deprivation! Thats the one!!

    I'm not too worried about the actual lending of a car, though it'd be easier on them if they did...Well if they were trying to help it'd be easier.

    They have a family car (for 2 of them...), but being reasonably new I don't expect that...just maybe the old yellow 80's model 3 seater ute. At least with DD1 at school I can do what I need to do...

    Thanks guys

  6. #6

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    Hey BJ, don't know what to suggest, but just want to give you a wish I could help out

  7. #7

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    Gee, that's really tough on you hun. You must feel so isolated at times, and the lack of sleep on top of that must be a killer. I am sure there is a solution in all of this for you somewhere. I hope you can find it. In the meantime, I think you are amazing for all that you are doing. Absolutely amazing.

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    Amazing....not too sure about that, lol. If you saw my house.... I did tell myself that I'd be doing that now....hmm

  9. #9

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    no advice just massive hugs skye, i hope something is sorted out xxxx

  10. #10

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    maybe your hints are too subtle... ask for one of the other cars flat out, at least that way you could do some shopping while the girls are at school and get to hospital in an emergency. What's the worse that can happen they tell you know and confirm what you are already thinking?!?!?!

    these next 2 weeks fly by quickly

  11. #11

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    I agree :yeahthat: The time for subtlety is OVER! You need a hand, and I think you have to be forthright & ask for it. You have 3 little kids and you need help.

    I'm sending you MASSIVE hugs. I am a part-time single mum too as my DH works away. Its effin hard work and I can't imagine having to do it without the car.

    I so wish I could go & do the shopping for you BJ...

  12. #12

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    Oh Skye. I'm so sad that you're so isolated. I wish I could do something to help. I can't believe your parents are not being more willing to help.

  13. #13

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    I have a partner at home and my house is still a mess! Just shows you have your priorities regarding looking after your children right!

    Hope it goes fast for you and I hope that maybe your parents lend you a car. I don't drive and have enough trouble getting one child around. It''s frustrating stuff!


  14. #14

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    Well I got a message this morning. They'll have the girls when I go get the car, I'll just take DS. & they'll take me to he concert thing for DD1 on Friday.
    Its kinda hard to ask straight out for a car when they already said no to DH. Well, kinda said no. Waited to answer til they were rained in for a good excuse, coz only one car can get them out. By then DH was gone anyway, they did know he had to be gone by then.
    There was no mention of helping me get to town. I did already get one friend to run me down the street while she was here, so got most of the stuff I needed. Will borrow my other friends car & duck down there later & spend $10 on a small bag of dog food, even though I need twice as much as you get to feed my dogs for a week
    Everything we need is here, just at twice the price or more (I spent $7 on a family sized meat pie B&G ice cream is $7!!) Thankfully we have a butcher locally...that helps!
    We'll be alright. We've had no car plenty of times coz the dodgy thing has broken down on us. Mum & dad were only 10 minutes away if we needed to borrow one, but I can survive without.
    Thanks for the support Makes me feel a little better. I'm less stressed now I know I can get to DD's school thing. Makes a difference

  15. #15

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    glad you are getting to go to DD's concert, it's the little things like that that keep you going.

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