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Thread: reallyreally scared

  1. #1

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    Unhappy reallyreally scared

    Im 24 single and pregnant
    Im reallyreally scared about being pregnant and being a mum alone, ive been crying almost non stop for days and even now i can't see the computer screen through my tears
    i know who the father is and he knows that I'm having his baby . he says he wants nothing to do with it. over and over the other day he was saying i should get an abortion. as if my reasons for keeping the baby are stupid. I can't kill something that is alive inside me I dont think im irrational. or stupid. he thinks the child will be soo messed up because it wont have a dad and because im mentally ill, like im sub human .

    my eyes sting my nose stings i dont know if i make sense i cant eat cause i want to vomit Im so tired Im scared
    Im scared
    really really scared


  2. #2

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    Do you have a close frined or family member you can talk to?If you don't keep positing in here as everyone here is so lovely and will send you heaps of cyber support.

  3. #3

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    well you have come to the right place. There is so many wonderful people here that will able to give you support or answer any of your questions you have.

    As megiemoppit suggested do you have friends or family members that can support you?

  4. #4

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    thanks for replying
    I'm still crying even after a long sleep
    I have family and friends but haven't told many because its only few weeks along.
    mum and dad know. I live with them I don't know whats going to happen with accomodation there's no room for a baby here

  5. #5

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    Im so sorry to hear you are being put through this! Your child will NOT be messed up, he/she obiously have a loving, wonderful mother already!
    Try your hardest not to doubt yourself or let him convince you of such bull!

    You will find great support here and maybe check in your town if there are any groups with singl mummies?

  6. #6

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    Awww Hun Im so sorry your feeling like this. it is really hard babe but you no what when you see that little babies face it will all be worth the struggle your having now.
    i went through the same thing xp left me in the early days when i was pregnant and told me i should have an abortion too and wen i didnt he left.. but you no what its the best decison i have ever made in my life!, As hard as it is try and enjoy every moment it is so special, i think the early days are the hardest with finding out and the morning sickness it will get better i promise.

    If you ever need any support someone to talk to im always here babe i know how hard it can be xx chin up hun and Congragulations on your pregnancy

  7. #7

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    Might be a good idea to stay away from this guy for awhile ok? He is doing nothing for you right now. don't worry about accom right now. Babies don't take up much room in the early days xoxoxoxo

    Kids get more messed up by twat fathers than absent ones..

    Come on in here any old time you like.

  8. #8

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    Oh i forgot to Add but Lulu reminded me

    I live with my parents still and i wouldnt have had it any other way seriously especially in the early days like lulu said they dont take up much room and your parents will love having your little bub around im sure( i felt the exact same once i found out that i would be a nuisance and that there wouldnt be much room etc) trust me. My parents often we are so lucky they absolutly adore DD we only live in a 3 bdr house with 6 but you make it work hun they say they wouldnt have it any other way and im sure your parents will be fine babe

  9. #9
    kirsty_lee Guest

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    pretty much what all the other girls have said. And it might be worth while babe to join one of the private support groups, such as the Depression & Anxiety one. It's fantastic and there are alot of women in there who will welcome you with open arms and it will help just incase you want to remain anonymous if the father of your baby is going to go through the boards etc...

  10. #10
    rhyb Guest

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    Sweetie Im 19 a single mum of one and expecting triplets and Im doing it so you can too. Im not gonna lie its hard. I live with my grandparents and soon itll be 7 of us in a 3 bedroom house but its just til Im on my feet with the girls. They love it and my son benefits from it and you know what? He hasnt seen his dad in months. Hell his dad doesnt even live in the same state and my son is fine. He knows he has family that love him and that look after him and thats all a child needs. Aiden and I share a room (the other room is for the girls nursery) and we manage without falling all over each other
    You ever need to talk PM me darl

  11. #11

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    hey hun i was in an abusive relationship and left my ex when DD was 2 weeks old and i loooove being single!!! i suffered from PND and went to a mother baby unit for 4 weeks and have had family and friends to support me and u will be fine aslong as u have supportive ppl around, all the BB girls are fantastic too, join a belly buddies group too.

    do you have any friends who have kids? ive moved in with my friend whos partner works away and her daughter is 1 yr old and its been great not just for me but for DD to socialise

  12. #12

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    hey honey, just like everyone has said here it will be great!

    i just turned 23 in august and have always known that would be doing this on my own. you are already being so so brave! my ex has been being a 'spineless worm' as my mum's fabulous friend said, and that sounds as though it perfectly describes the father of your gorgeous wee satsuma too. to tell you to have an abortion is just plain wrong. never let anyone pressure you into doing that because even when you do decide it for yourself its really b***** hard. i've done it once and believe me, never again. the only reason i knew i'd get through it was because when i found out that i was pregnant my first thought was 'this isn't right', and even then i almost didn't do it.

    already you are showing everyone here that you are an incredibly loving and caring person and will make a wonderful mum! and don't feel bad about living with your parents. i was panicking about what i was going to do and where i was going to live and so when i finally told my family at about 8-9 weeks (i think you are AMAZING for having done it already!) mum told me that i would come and live with her. so now i am. and it's great! and my family are all really excited about baby!

    my ex asked me to live with him (as we'd actually broken up when i got pregnant.. yes. i know. bad bad bad!) as a flatmate, but i said no. and that was because i foresaw all the bs he would put me through, and has done especially in the last few months.

    honey don't feel bad about crying non-stop, it's probably compounded by hormones and exhaustion. i still have days that i can't get out of bed, and can't study or post or anything through the tears. it is tough having someone making your life miserable. but to be honest, you'd be amazed as to how strong you really are. and mental illness isn't endless. there are ways to get around it. it can take time, but you'll get there. and you'll have someone to be there with you who you will love so so much! i couldn't live without my bump ever again. he's great.

    but do go for all the support you can find. you deserve it. am often here if you want to chat. you can private message me too. have found a free online solitaire game that is very calming lol. or if i can't sleep i listen to music on a teeny radio with headphones, and that can be really soothing too. just cut the b****** loose i say. and remember you have friends here too.

    love liv x

  13. #13

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    You can do this - and you can do it well!
    Keep coming in here for support, and maybe contact your local health service for a single mums group/young mums group ( i think they class under 25 as 'young' - go figure! ).

    It might be worth going to Centrelink to see what support you can get financially and they also might be able to hook you up with any counselling you feel you may need.

    Good luck - you are more capable then you know

    xx

  14. #14

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    Default thankyou for everything

    I want to say think you for everything guys , you are really nice here . realyreally nice.

    I have been reading some pregnancy books namely the girlfriends guide to pregnancy, and what to expect when your expecting. I'm still scare about everything especially birth at the moment it seems so scary I dont want to do it because im afraid i'll hate the baby for making me hurt so much. I don't want to hate the baby. second is money (or lack of it) .

    I still don't like the thought of being alone (with out a bf) because ive usually had one since i turned 17 and when i didnt i was surrounded with guys who wanted to see me. I dont think of my self as much of a catch : im over weight, pale, hairy, and mentally ill. I think i have pretty face most of the time and big boobs they must have liked the boobs. It will be strange not having guys want to have sex with me. i guess its safe that way, can't get pregnant again if no one will have sex with you.

  15. #15

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    Katypila -

    Have you got some support IRL - a good friend or a counsellor you can see? I'm worried about you!
    As far as men go - women need a man like a fish needs a bicycle!

    Men are great and sex is great, but its not the be all and end all. You are more than a vagina IYKWIM? If guys just want you for sex, they're not really great guys. You're worth more then that

    I'm sure these men liked you for you - your personality, your beautiful eyes, your great hair, nice bum, great sense of humour etc... and if not, they should have. And I'm sure you can double check on here but I don't think pregnancy stopped many people from DTD! I'm sure you're a great catch, and this is proven by your ability to go out on this unknown journey you're about to undertake and your willingness to reach out for help.

    I hope that made some sense, and didn't come off to Oprah. Keep posting here, even if it's only to sort out your thoughts. You can do this...be kind to yourself.

  16. #16

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    This signals a time of change for you. A time to look after YOU and bubs without the extra complications

    Not having a bf actually isn't a big deal as you think, you just aren't used to the thought of it is all. I'm sure you know not having someone around that wants to shag you makes you less of a person, or less attractive - I hope you can feeeel that soon.

    There are plenty of time for men and relationships in the future (really, there is. There are plenty of us here onto husband no2 already!), but now is the time for YOU.

    You can derive far more strength and joy from being alone - I certainly do.

    xoxoxo

  17. #17

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    :yeahthat:

    That's what I meant!

  18. #18

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    I was really scared to have a baby too and I'm married. Something takes over once you have that baby though and there is no more fear, just love. You can do it, there is strength in you and you will find it. Labour really isn't really as bad as it seems right now. I was terrified of it too and although it was tiring and painful, it really wasn't as bad as what I had built it up to in my mind.

    I think you can do it, but there is also the option of adoption if you don't think you can handle raising a child right now. I'm adopted so i think it's a pretty wonderful thing.

    I hope you have some close friends and family to support you through this, whatever you decide to do. This is a great place to come to for support and advice.

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