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Thread: Separating from DH - what do I do now!?

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    Default Separating from DH - what do I do now!?

    So its over. He's not happy but I feel its for the best. The military has been notified which means I have 28 days from tomorrow to get my butt out of the house. They will remove what Im keeping and ship one of the cars. Theyll even fly us down to Sydney (I think).

    I called Centrelink to let them know but when I was transferred to make an intent to claim parenting payment they hung up on me So Im heading in tomorrow in person to do it.

    I have zero $$$ saved, I am recieving the baby bonus in installments so it will come to good use but Im guessing I'll need a TON of money for bond etc

    Im terrified of having to find a house - Im a single mother with 3 small kids, who would want to rent to me?

    What do I need to apply for a rental property? How much money should I need?
    Do we have to go through the courts for visitation orders or can we draw something up ourselves?
    Do I ring child support or will Centrelink organise that?



    God Ive got a million things to organise and Im already tired.

  2. #2

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    Oh man, I'm so sorry to hear this Anna

    I have no practical advice for you having never been there myself, but I'm sure lots of people will.

    Thinking of you and the boys....

  3. #3

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    Hi Anna
    It sounds like you are sure this is for the best so I wanted to say good luck (I dont know your history).
    I havent been through a separation myself but for renting a property ithink you usually need:
    appropriate ID
    references
    maybe bank statements or letter from emplyer/centrelink re income
    - these are all for the application

    if you get aproperty i think they usually want 1 month bond and then a month's rent in advance (so you need to have 2 months rent ready to go)

    depending on the market in your location you can sometimes make an offer less than the asking price. though of course in some areas you can also have to pay more...

    interms of renting to a single mum, if you have the above it should be ok. also ifyou go through private landlords they may be sympathetic, i know my ILs rent a couple of placesout themselves (ie no agencies) and they have chosen a few single mums based on liking them and giving them a go...

    best of luck to you!

  4. #4

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    don't try going to the centrelink office Anna - they'll point you to a phone and tell you to make the same call you'd make at home - there is no way to do it in the office at all sorry babe! try calling "after hours" (fao are available til 8) or maybe first thing in the morning (8am and just get in the queue). not sure if you can do an intent to claim for parenting single online (some stuff has changed recently) but maybe have a quick look if you're regisitered....

    the only other thing is to just persevere today. as i said, they'll point you to a phone and tell you the number to call. they only do the finalisation interviews in the office

    as to bond - you should be able to get bond assistance/bond loan. try searching for public housing in the area you'll be moving to. not sure about the other stuff though.

    contact child support agency - will help to ensure you get the maximum ftb you're entitled to, and will get that income coming in as well

    i would ensure that you get your parenting plan written up legally - doesn't have to go to court if you don't think your ex will give you grief, but best to have it done up in a mediation session if you can. if he then tries to make waves, you can take it to court. call the Family Relationships Advice Line, let them know your circumstances, and they should be able to get you through to the relevant people to help you out

    i'm sorry to hear you're going through this hun. good luck getting things sorted out

    BG

  5. #5

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    Anna - I also don't know the situation, but good luck with the move.

    I just made an application for a parenting payment too and I had to do it over the phone, even though I went into the office so try calling again as that is what they will probably say at the centre.

    I think there is also somewhere you can apply to to help with the bond, I remember reading that somewhere, but it is worth asking centrelink - they may know.

    Best of luck with everything

  6. #6

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    I'm so sorry Anna. Is the r/ship fixable at all? Maybe this will show him for sure that you're serious about him needing to make some changes?

  7. #7

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    Definately not fixable at this stage Nelle

    He's going to move to Sydney too so the boys can see him regularly.

    Off to make phone calls.

    Thanks for the advice!

  8. #8

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    Oh man. I am so sorry that it has come to this for you. I am sure though that you are resolute in your decision under these circumstances.

    Is there a reason you a flying to Sydney? You can get a bond loan or a DOH house in QLD because you live there, but coming down here will mean you can't go on the list straight away or get the loan until x time as a state resident.

    Else bond is 4 weeks of the rent amount - plus you need 2 weeks rent in advance, so 6 times whatever price rent you are looking at.

    If you can both come to an amicable arrangement on the kids thats great, but as BG says, get it done legally so that if things turn sour you have that supporting you.

  9. #9

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    Dont have any advice hun, just a big

  10. #10

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    Anna - I am very sorry. I hope yo uare all ok.

  11. #11

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    Anna. I wish you all the best during this difficult time.

    I suggest that while you are Centerlink, you ask them for referrals to all the support services that are available to you. I am sure that there will be agencies who can assist you with finding a house etc. GL hun.

  12. #12

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    Anna hon...a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do and if this is for the best, then do it hon.

    I gather you know were approx in Sydney your going? If so maybe you could ring the local Salvation Army or St Vincent's and see if they know anywere that could help you find housing, maybe a bond and even moving down to your family in Sydney

    Centerlink will help you with who you have to ring for child support ect


    Good luck hon..I dont think you will need it...keep staying postive though...I think you'll have your smile back on your face after this.....no more stress babe

  13. #13

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    I have pmed you sweet

  14. #14

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    No adivce here either I'm afraid but if you need anything in Sydney let me know.

  15. #15

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    I'll second eej - if you need anything in Sydney please let us know... I am in the Macarthur area (South West Sydney)... if I can do anything please PM me

  16. #16

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    Good luck with it all.

  17. #17

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    anna

  18. #18

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    *hugs* all the best on this new journey

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