Welcome Alex'smum and Rita. We're all here to help and support each other. BB is such a wonderful place I'm sure you'll feel welcome.
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Welcome Alex'smum and Rita. We're all here to help and support each other. BB is such a wonderful place I'm sure you'll feel welcome.
Hi,
single mum of 9month old boy just wondering if i'm still able to join in this forum?
Username: georgiegrl
Real name: amy
Number of children: 1
Separated since: October 2008
Care arrangements?: Sole Carer
Biggest challenge as a single parent?: not having enough free time for myself and not been able to share the load with someone... especially when im sick
General comments:
username: singlemumof1
real name: cindy
number of children: 1
care arrangements: sole carer
biggest challenge as a single mum: feeling comfortable to ask for help to make sure I have time for me.
I feel very lucky that I have my baby boy and I chose to do it as a single mum but sometimes it would be nice to have someone around to help
Username: Little Bean 09
Real name: Kristi
Number of children: 29weeks pregnant with first
Separated since: June 09
Care arrangements?: Incubator at the moment but will be with me
Biggest challenge as a single parent?: Going through this pregnancy alone
General comments: Live in Cairns and always up for a chat! xx
Welcome littlebean, if you ever need someone to talk to let me no i wen through my pregnancy alone i no how hard it can be, congragulations you have a beautiful life growing inside you :)
Username: singledad
Real name: David
Number of children: 1 almost 3 yr old boy
Separated since: Sep 06
Care arrangements?: Just with me, hasn't seen his mum in over 2 years
Biggest challenge as a single parent?: Balancing being a sole parent and a provider
General comments: Just moved to Qld for a fresh start, going good so far :D
Hi there emmasn:
Thank you for your post. Do you mind me asking how far pregnant you were when you and your ex split up? I've been trying to find other women in the same situation to see how they coped. My situation is very complicated in the fact that we still own a house together, that i'm currently in, but 7 weeks ago the police put a DV charge of my fiance (property damage only) and I haven't seen him in that time and won't see him for another 3 weeks til the hearing as his lawyers are keeping us apart. I want to see if we can work things out but the distance of time between us now has pushed us further apart:-(. I'm trying to do the best for LB (little bean) but somedays it just seems like there is no hope.
Username: cobaltblue
Real name: cobaltblue
Number of children: 1 - 29 weeks pregnant with a son :D
Separated since: July 2009
Care arrangements?: None as my son is still is in utero
Biggest challenge as a single parent?: Overcoming the difficulty of accepting that XP and family are disinterested in pregnancy but claim that they will be involved once son is born :rolleyes:
General comments: Looking forward to meeting mothers through BB :dance:
I said that I was looking forward to meeting mothers through BB but I just seen a single dad on here :doh: so I should say that I am looking forward to meeting both mothers and fathers through BB and creating new friendships :)
Username: livvy
Real name: Liv
Number of children: almost 1
Separated since: broke up with xp in dec 2008 after a termination, but just sort of kept sleeping together until i left for australia this year.. am back in nz now but hate being so near him (and his new gf)
Care arrangements?: at the moment just me because he's a shmok.
Biggest challenge as a single parent?: coping with everything alone really.. am trying to not get depressed as have friends and family being really supportive but is a bit tricky keeping it all happy on the outside when can't get out of bed sometimes. had to give up work too. am only just still coping with uni workload.
General comments: did put a request through for access to the private forum group as well but never heard back.. don't really understand how that works.
it's nice to see that there is a gender mix here, even if is still a bit biased but any new people to hear from and chat with or get advice from would be awesome.. esp as am seeing ex on friday as told his whanau was not happy to have contact with them whilst he's being the way he is, i think they put the boot in there but it's still not a good reason to see him i think. i think they want bub to be within their reach but i just can't see that working with him skulking around in the background, being a shvants.
sorry thats probably a bit much huh.. sorry all.
Username: Roz1982
Real name: Roz
Number of children: 1 and one on the way
Separated since:sperated from my first childs father since he was 4 months old..approx five years ago. My new baby on the way...have been with the father for a couple months.
Care arrangements?: single parent all the way..no help from Son's father.
Biggest challenge as a single parent?: Wanting to provide well for my kids but also be there for there younger years as long as i can. Im currently studying though...so i have a future plan :)
General comments: I am going through a rough time with my expected baby's dad...looks like im going it alone (again) and he isnt happy im not aborting the baby. Would be good to be in contact with other mums in similar situations.
Username: Dotty_R
Real name: Rebecca
Number of children: 20 weeks with baby #3
Separated since: Today offically 8th Oct
Care arrangements?: FOB says he wants to enjoy his young years (25) so id say just me.
Biggest challenge as a single parent?: Making my babies life as normal as possible without a Dad
General comments: We planned this pregnancy and he decided I should abort, but I couldnt justify aborting a baby that we purposely concieved.
Id love to met people in similar situations to me
hiya rebecca (dottyr)
here you are too! i hope that today has gone okay for you. i'm glad you looked in on this thread too, even if just to know that you're not alone in this. by the sounds of it roz in the same situation as you, having someone put pressure on you to terminate. i can't imagine the hurt that that would cause esp as bub was planned. loose the man, keep the baby i say. i think dollyroux had it in one when she said a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. kia kaha sweetie.
Hi
Just want to put a message out to Roz 1982
I also live in Perth
I am a single mum to a beautiful 19 month old girl
i can related to how your feeling.
would really love to have a chat with you
someone who understands and also is in the same city
I really hope that you are doing ok.
Username: SJE
Real name: Sara
Number of children: 2
Separated since: 27 nov 2009
Care arrangements?: Interim thanks to family court...But it seems just the norm plus my concessions due to good morals?
Biggest challenge as a single parent?: Making my babies life as normal as possible without a Dad
General comments: Where to start? Just think its so good to think ther is love and support out there!
Username: Lacey
Real name: Lacey
Number of children: 1 (8 weeks pregnant, still early days!)
Separated since: About a month ago
Care arrangements?: Will be with me 24/7
Biggest challenge as a single parent?: At the moment, the fear of not being able to do this on my own. Knowing that my baby's father doesn't love our baby the way that I do.
General comments: I only jumped on here after a google search about an hour ago, but I'm already feeling so much more hope. Thank you guys :heartbeat::heartbeat:
Welcome to BellyBelly. I became a single mum when my fiance left me at 20 weeks. I thought I would never be able to get through my pregnancy and if I did, I thought because of all the turmoil and stress I was under that I would somehow have hurt my baby in utero. Everyone kept telling me, "you'll get through this" but it didn't help me at all. The only thing that got me through, was my mum. She was on call 24/7 for the tears and knew exaclty what to say. The father of my child ignored all correspondance and all I kept hearing was how many women he's with every week. I felt so hard done by, how could this man, who made this decision with me to have a child, just walk away? It's incredible. I've now got the most angelic 11 week old daughter and although he started talking to me when she was born, for only two weeks, he's since started ignoring me again and now we're going through property settlement legal battles and child maintanence.
Anyway, sorry got a bit caught up there, I guess what i'm trying to say is that when you're down, just talk to someone who will really listen, get a sad movie and cry it out and always know that that little person inside of you will love you unconditionally. The moment I saw my daughter nothing else mattered.
You'll find alot of help on here, I still put up threads when i'm down and so many lovely people get back to me, it's great. If you ever want to chat let me know and i'll put up my email address and MSN.
Take care hun.
Kristi
Thank you so much, you are the sweetest! It helps just to know that others have gone through this and have come out of it as stronger people. I am excited for the first time since being pregnant, just from reading this forum and knowing that when the pain is gone I will have my little one in my arms.
I will be posting regularly from now on because this forum is making me happy :D Just knowing I have people to talk to helps so very much! :heartbeat:
Welcome to BB Lacey :welcome:
You'll find tons of support on here. And you know what? You CAN do it! Although at the moment it's hard, this is still a very very special and exciting time in your life :hug:
hey lacey!
yup totally agree with the support thing! i found bb through a google search as well. am not even an australian and i love it here! i live in wellington, nz, and just had my gorgeous boy 12 days ago! would you believe he can already hold his head up and is trying to roll over.. is a bit of a worry really lol, can't take my eyes off him for one second!
his father and i had actually already broken up when i got pregnant with him, it was pretty complicated so please don't think too poorly of me.. he kept saying that my family was trying to turn me against him and push him out and that he wanted to be totally involved with bub and blah blah blah.. so it went on. he cut me and bub out of his life at about 14 weeks.. and then decided to pay nice when i was about 8 months, but by that point i was totally disillusioned. mum txted him when bub was born. he never even replied. now he's said he wants to meet bub when "i'm happy with visitors" so he can have his new gf come with him, he suggested march maybe. am tempted to say "look, just don't bother"..
sorry you got the whole sob story there lol.. basically i just wanted to emphasise that you aren't alone in that we're all here. who needs a useless, childish man to make our lives difficult. just let him walk away. i was given a great piece of advice last year:
men do not grow older than 14 emotionally. you're lucky if you find a 16 year old
but your little 8 week bump will love you so much, so who needs anyone else? just make sure you have as many strong friends and family around as is possible. that is all you need. believe me!
big hug and kiss to you and your bump, liv and boo <3
Thought it was about time to admit that I belong here.
Username: Jitterbug
Real name: Jess
Number of children: 1
Separated since: Quite a few months now.
Care arrangements: Lives with me, has visits with her Dad but I always stay also.
Biggest challenge as a single parent: The fear, mostly. Not getting much of a break. Worrying about the effect this all has on DD. The battles; custody, child support -- the emotional blackmail. Dealing with heartache when you can't find a moment to cry.
hello, im not sure if i really count as being here... my story is.. i have 2 daughters from a previous relationship, aged 12 and 6.. i was a single mum for about 2 years until i got together with my now DH... we married and had a baby of our own. so im not technically a single mum anymore, but i was at one point.. hope im welcome :)
Username: MeganH
Real name: Megan
Number of children: 3
Separated since: 29th January 2010 :dance:
Care arrangements?: they stay with their dad once a fortnight
Biggest challenge as a single parent?: Getting the outside chores done as they were his. The rest I pretty much did myself anyway.
General comments: I finally feel FREE! I have more time to myself now than what I had before (surprisingly) coz I get every 2nd weekend to myself now. WOOOHOOOOOO!
well I am now single again :(
Pretty much since New Years day :(
Ah the life.
Care arrangements are the older 2 go to their dads every 2nd weekend. Ashton and Levi wont be leaving me ever.
Username: Brookemorrison
Real name: Brooklyn Elise
Number of children: 1 with another on the way :)
Separated since: about 3 weeks ago.
Care arrangements?: DS is with me atm, as XDP has shown no interest in shared arrangements.
Biggest challenge as a single parent?: Doing the basic things such as finding time to do things that need to be done, eg cleaning, cooking with no help.
General comments: Its easy being single i dont need to put up with his cr@p anymore.
life is alot less complicated. and im getting my old self confidence back :dance:
Username: Blujella
Real Name: Julia
Number of Children: 2 (3 and 2 yrs)
Seperated Since: Yesterday
Care Arrangements: Undecided
Biggest Challenge as a single parent: ATM getting out of bed... I'm sure it will get better!
General Comments: Looking forward to meeting everyone and getting some support!
hey there julia (also brooke - lovely to see you here! sorry i haven't been in recently)
hope you and your little ones are doing well. you're right it will get better! and hey being single is really not so bad once you get used to it. i have to say it took me from july until about october/november to really see everything rationally. and man does it feel good to be free of that w***** now!
how're you going with everything today? well i hope. just remember to eat as much fruit and vege as you can as it will make you feel so so much better about life! try to sing along to the radio or just yourself if you so inclined (i sing absently lol!) as it releases endorphins and helps lift your spirit! dancing does the same thing! and if you have a chance then pick or pilfer some flowers from a garden and have them inside somewhere that they can make you happy to look at. it makes all the difference! am currently enjoying four red tulips on my table opening in the morning to the sun and closing up at night. they make everything seem more beautiful.
love and hugs liv and boo xxxxx
Username: Claude
Real Name: Mel
Number of Children: 1 (just under 2 years old)
Separated Since: Hasn't moved out yet but will be soon.
Care Arrangements: Not confirmed but likely with me fulltime due to his work hours and see her dad every other weekend.
Biggest Challenge as a single parent: Getting up each day to look after my DD and go to work when my heart is breaking.
General Comments: Very glad I found this website
Hi, I'm 27yo, 17 weeks pregnant from Sydney East. My story is quite trivial: we dated, I got pregnant, he ran away scared sh*tless. So here I am... I'm used to super social life, and now feel totally out of place. None of my friends are pregnant or with children, and I'd love to meet other parents or parents-to-be. PM me, lets get together or something :)
Username: WasntMe
Real name: Dee
Number of children: 1
Separated since: 2005
Care arrangements?: Sole custody
Biggest challenge as a single parent?: Lack of support network
General comments: Life as a single parent can be a challenge, but it is a challenge i meet head-on, every day of my life.
Username: april88
Real name: April lol
Number of children: 2
Separated since: 2009
Care arrangements?: Sole custody
Biggest challenge as a single parent?: Looking after the kids by myself
General comments: Hi everyone ! I'm April, 24 years old. Single mum to Evie 3 years old and Chace almost 2. The kid's father is still very much in our lives but i'm currently separated from him.
Username:RainbowBrite
Real name:Lisa
Number of children:7 (4 from 1st marriage 3 from 2nd)
Separated since:10 Jan 2010
Care arrangements?:He has taken the younger girls for the night but not the bub yet. My 1st XH passed away 4 mths ago so it is just me.
Biggest challenge as a single parent?: That it is just me and 7 kids.
General comments: We have separated and he has just got his own place but I am hoping that by separating we may actually be able to be back together one day.
Username: Dreamrise
Real name: Lori
Number of children: 1 - 14yr old girl (and 1 on the way)
Seperated since: July 1996 (when 16 weeks pregnant with number 1. Got pregnant with number 2 via IVF with donor sperm)
Care arrangements: Fulltime sole custody. 14yr old has never met her father and obviously bub number 2 will only have that option when he/she is 18 and can meet the donor.
Biggest Challenge: Being open to the possibility of a proper relationship... I'm so used to being a single mum it's become part of my identity that I am very proud of and whilst I'm not sure I want it to be any different sometimes I worry about being too stuck in my ways and maybe a partner at some stage in the future might be nice!
General comments: My 14yr old is amazing and whilst she wasn't planned I wouldn't change a thing. Bub number 2 took four years in the making after lots of soul searching about how another child might impact on my relationship with my daughter. Finally just before she turned 10 I decided we were both ready - never expected it to take this long to concieve but I'm now almost 11 weeks pregnant and my daughter is being a great help when I'm feeling really sick or tired etc. Hopefully she and bub will become friends when they are both adults as I know they won't have a traditional sibling relationship given the huge age difference.
I have worked and studied throughout my daughter's life and tried to give her a really positive role model that being a parent doesn't mean giving up your dreams. We now live on our own beautiful farm which she loves (though the morgage payments are a constant source of stress when work dries up or interest rates increase).
I havent been on here for a while, but as life brings recent changes I find myself looking for other single mums for advice and support...
Username: Keen
Real name: Keen
Number of children: Twin 3.5 year old girls
Seperated since: Feb 2011 (officially)
Care arrangements: every 2nd wkend with dad
Biggest Challenge: Figuring out that I deserve to be happy too
General comments:
Oh Keen, I'm sorry to hear that things are different for you now. I've also been a single Mummy - since October 2006. You're absolutely right - YOU need to be happy too.
Please feel free to PM me if you need anything. We also have a Single Parents Private Support Group that you can apply for through your settings.
All the best.
Thought I'd reintroduce myself in here, havent been around much for a while, was with out a computer for a long time.
Username: Widdly
Real name: Elissa
Number of children: 1 5yr old boy
Seperated since: March 2010, divorced June 2011
Care arrangements: 3 nights a fortnight with Dad
Biggest Challenge: Dealing with XH now living with my Xfriend
General comments: Absolutely loving life now. Have never been this happy and confident ever. Single life rocks my world!
Ooh so glad I found this thread :)
Username:~Kirsten~
Real name:Kirsten
Number of children: 2 yr old little boy, one on the way..
Separated since: n/a
Care arrangements?:living with me full time
Biggest challenge as a single parent?: money, time to myself, dealing with him on my own..
General comments: I been a single mum for awhile now.. My son father done a runner and have not heard from him for 3 years.. Baby no.2 I'm hoping the father will stick around..
Hi everyone!
Username: nurseymum
Real name: Kristie
No of children: x1, gorgeous 4yr old DD
Separated since: always :(
Care arrangements: with me full time
Biggest challenge: Dealing with the "where's my daddy questions" that are just starting to come - they make my heart hurt :(
General: Wondering why I didn't get on here earlier, such a great place to vent/empathise/sympathise and be supported, always up for a chat :D
Hi Nurserymum,
Don't worry about your daugther suddenly questioning about her "daddy". It seems common around 4 - 5 years of age for kids who don't have any contact with their father, but they do get over it. My daughter went through it when she was in prep (5 years old). She is now a very passionate campaigner for children without dads - trying to educate teachers and others to the fact that not every kid has a Dad and "there is nothing wrong with that"!
She is 14 years old now and has no interest in meeting her father. We seperated when I was 16 weeks pregnant with her and she has never met him. I am now pregnant with my 2nd child through an anon donor (IVF) so this child will have no opportunity to meet their father until they are atleast 18. Hopefully if they have any problems/issues with this my daughter's confidence will help them.
Best wishes
Lori
DD - 14
Bub due 28th Aug.