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Thread: There is no compromising with him!!

  1. #1

    Default There is no compromising with him!!

    eeeek! lost half my post



    as most of you know me and my XP are going through a bit of a heavy break up- on saturday i msgd him to happily tell him our DS cut his first tooth, as usual it ended in a arguement and him calling me some very rude names.
    he then asked me where i was to which my response was its none of your business as this is what i get when i ask him. he cracked it and about a hr later send me a msg saying his taking me to court....

    I msgd him back asking what for? and he told me he wants shared custody of DS, visitation over night for the whole weekend 2 times a month. now most of you will prob be sitting here saying "yeah! and..." well the thing is im fine with XP taking DS, but i dont think im entirely ready for him to have DS overnight XP lives and spends his weekends drinking and partying with his loser friends how can this assure me my DS is going to be safe on weekends with his father?

    Please dont get me wrong i told XP i was happy for him to start stepping up and acting like a real father but i kindly begged him to make overnight visitations at his mothers house. He flat out told me 'no'
    can someone please tell me what my rights are? DS is not BF so i cannot use that its not that i dont want DS to be with his dad its just i dont entirely trust Xp with DS on a weekend. I just know him to well and know that if someone offers him alcohol he will jump at the chance to get drunk, and where would that leave my DS uncared for and unsafe. Im just not ready!!

    anyway my response to his msg was fine- send me the papers and ill see you there!!
    why did i lower my standards and stoop to his level. ive tried everything to settle it so far out of court and now look!!!!
    i just need to know what to expect? HELP
    Last edited by Oscar&Grouch; May 17th, 2010 at 06:49 PM. Reason: lost half my post

  2. #2

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  3. #3

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    Oh hon, I don't have any advice, just a big . You said you asked him to do it at his mother's house. Are you on speaking terms with her enough to raise your concerns? She might be able to talk to him. FWIW, there is no way I'd let my DD go if DH and I were in that situation and he was a drunken social butterfly.

    Corelly x

  4. #4

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    sorry to hear your ex is being so difficult with you

    My DH auntie went thru the court because she wanted full custody of her son and she didnt get it. The judge ordered a shared care arrangement. Unless you have some serious evidence for your ex's drinking/partying ways, i dont think a judge would prevent your ex from having his son overnight. It would be considered a reasonable request in the eyes of the law. If you have fears for your sons safety you would need to provide some evidence/witnesses and convince the judge that it would only be safe if supervised.

    hopefully some others will be able to give more detailed info

  5. #5

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    Corelly- Thanks yeah im on fairly good speaking terms with her she has been great in the past but unfortunatly like myself she cannot get any sense into XP.
    she has been trying and trying she agrees that visitations should be at her house so its easier to both parties.

    Molly- thanks for the advice it does put some ease to my worries. i am aware about mediation which is what we have in place atm (not legal so to speak) i know i cant control what XP does whilst having DS i just wish i could!!! grrr. I will deff bring it up though XP doesnt think his drinking is a problem. He drinks and parties cause he has nothing better to do apparently.

    its my bday tomorrow and im on such a downerrr! i want him to dissapear.

  6. #6

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    Go and get some legal advice PRONTO. Legal aid can help you.

    I doubt he'd get overnights for a sub-one-year-old.

  7. #7

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    yep what molly said is good. Mediation is tough but its also good. Hopefully he will start to consider other options

  8. #8

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    I strongly suggest getting involved with family relationship centre.
    It's usually part of the process for court as well from what I hear but it might help to at least have some mediation, try and solve your issues, come up with some sort of plan.
    It sounds like you're having a really tough time.
    I'm sorry to hear that he's being so horrible and calling you names.
    It's not fair especially when you're the mother of his child.
    You deserve much more respect then that.
    Take Care... stay safe
    Mel
    xox

  9. #9

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    divvy is right you need legal advice asap. huge hugs huni...you deserve alot more respect and don't deserve his s***. take care huni and happy birthday for tomorrow xox

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