well, i think im going through my angry stage.... i have had another couple of bad days and im trying to deal with them
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well, i think im going through my angry stage.... i have had another couple of bad days and im trying to deal with them
hun ur allowed to be angry and whatever else u want to feel...were all here for you
You have every right to be angry. Do whatever you need to do to work through it... we're listening, if that helps!
:hug:
Icouldnt read this and not post, im so sorry for you and you little man. i havent read all the posts but you have had a lot of good advice, i hopw you can find a way for your boy to have a relationship with his father and that X manages to step up to his responsibilities and realise that he is a major *beep* and has no right to tell you what to do/who you can talk to!!! Or for him to be lost in self pity!
Im at a loss as to why people do this to thier families !! im sorry you had to get hurt!!!
Oh sweetheart. I couldn't read that and not give you some big squooshy hugs. You should be so, so proud of yourself, hun - you've conducted yourself with the utmost class, dignity and with your child's best interests foremost in your mind.
The other ladies have given you some great advice and support, I haven't been where you are now so I won't sit here and pretend I have even the slightest inkling of how devastated you must be feeling... but just know that you have my support and a huge, HUGE pat on the back for handling this ridiculous situation with such integrity. Keep that gorgeous head of yours held high, hun, and know that we're all behind you.
*hugs*
Hi Kate
Just came across this thread. I wanted to tell you how sad I am that this has happened to you and Lochie and that I am thinking of you both. You both deserve to be treated so much better than this. :hug:
Take care.
N
afternoon ladies....
just popping in for an update
i still havent gone back to him.... and i wont, EVER....
he is being a douche bag though, only seeing lachlan when its convenient for him etc...
me and lachlan are going well though... our bond is stronger than ever and he is just WAY too cute!!!
am having a bit of a party this weekend. just getting some friends together for a few drinks to celebrate me being single and happy(petrified haha) so that should be nice....
im thinking about moving out with a friend of mine who is in the same situation as me.. will be good to get a bit more independence but still have a close support at home....
I'm so glad things are looking up for you!
Hey Kate,
I have a Lachlan too!!... He's 2 months older then yours... they are little cuties arent they... great kids to have these Lachlans ;).
I'm really sorry to hear about what happened to you. That is really sad that your friend would do that to you when u did so much for her.
It's really sad that your ex doesnt seem like he's had any respect for you or Lachlan and that he seems to have taken you guys for granted.
I hope that he has started paying Child Support if not you should definately put your claim in with CSA... hopefully it might be a bit of a motivator for him as someone mentioned before it really is his loss because the less time he spends with Lachlan the more he has to pay. It really is tough on your own especially when you have the terrible 2's to be dealing with. I hope things start to look up for you soon... Keep up the good work with that beautiful boy.
Mel
xoxox
So glad things are working out for you misskate.
Keep strong. You can do it!
Hey Hun, Just came across this post and wanted to tell you to keep going :) stay strong!
I know what its like being a single mummy so if you ever need anyone to chat to just yell!
take care and big hugs xxxx
thanks for your support ladies ;)
hello again ladies
things are going a bit better now, lachlan has settled down a bit and we are just cruising along. still having some trouble with my ex, he refuses to have him etc, it hurts because its loch that loses out....
i have had a few teary break downs because of this :( ive been doing ALOT of cosleeping lately! he sleeps alone during the day and mostly sleeps in my bed at night... i love it and he loves it!
he is really coming into his own now, he is such a funny little person, i adore him! he is very loving too, the other morning i woke up to him crawling around my bed, i put my arm out and he snuggled in and said 'i love you mum, sooo much!' it was the nicest thing i have ever woken up to... what a sweety!!!
hopefully his father can see that he is a person too, and that he wants to see his dad too!! he does miss me like crazy when he is with his dad though, i picked him up today and he just cuddled me for about 5 minutes... was so sweet!!
I'm really happy you've hung in there hun - sounds like you've got a new 'lil' man looking after you now ;-)
Lachlan sounds like a gorgeous boy, looking after you as you look after him!
I really hope your ex learns that DS is the most important person in his life!
Oh Kate,
I'm terribly sorry for you relationship ending like that. I have only just found this thread & by the sounds of things you are one classy lady who is clearly too good to be in a relationship with Craig. He doesn't deserve you and you deserve a whole lot better than him.
I commend you on making such an awful decision, but I think you made the 'right' one for you and your little man.
I wish you the best of luck!
Jayne xx
Oh, MissKate - please do not shed tears because your ex is a douche! What he is doing is a stock standard progression of a controlling, manipulative abuser! I have been there as have several other ladies on here. First he says he wont have them, then he wants custody of them, then he takes them on a schedule, then it is ONLY when it is convenient for him "And dont argue or he wont come get them/bring them home" - finally you get to he wont come over at all.
Do not respond. Do not push. Enjoy the peace while it lasts! Little Lachy sounds like he has got an amazing caring mother who is making him feel as loved as he needs to be - and he loves her too. Sometimes we see ourselves as pushing for them to have a relationship with their bio-donor so that our children will not miss out. Truth be told, we are just enabling the donor in using our precious babies as pawns in their games.
Take care of yourself and your son. Just carry on as normal, always. Whether he calls or he doesnt, do not change your plans to fit in with his whims. Eventually he will realise that he cannot use your child to control you anymore. It also helps your boy if you dont respond to it because they seem to be able to pick up when we are upset. Let him see a happy easy going mummy.
What a horrible thing to have to go through. I am so, so sorry. How could someone you thought was your friend do this to you. How could your partner do this to you, more to the point.
You made the right decision, leaving him. You are such a strong person for doing this. I admire you as a single Mum too.
It's disappointing that he seems to be trying to spin the blame back onto you and make out like it was all your doing. If he doesn't want anything to do with Lachlan, why is he still talking to you? Block his number and get on with your life! And how dare he try to make you stop talking to his brother, especially if you have been friends for years! He isn't your boss!!
You won't be able to get closure and get on with your life if he is still there pestering you. He is in no position to boss you around and tell you how to live.
Best of luck sweetheart, remember that we are all here for you if you need to vent! xx
thanks for the hugs girls.... being a single mum is really hard! but i am getting there!