Happiness

[beansbeans!]

Hey all,
I'm currently investigating where my happiness grows and is nurtured, and I'm having a couple of issues finding it..

So I'm wondering...
How do you define happiness and find happiness in your world?
As an individual, an a parent, partner?

Thanks in advance

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I don't define happiness. I'm just so thrilled not to be struggling with depression atm that I say I am happy, even when work is bad and anxiety is high. I'm actually alive and living, not in survival mode.

That was a bit of a downer. I feel nurtured, and therefore happy, when I get to sit down and have coffee with friends. Is that a better option?

I think chasing happiness all the time destroys the chance of finding happiness. Living life will throw you happiness if you can take it. But hunting happiness, like hunting a snark, is a path to nothingness.

[little_O]

I believe true happiness comes from being content and having a purpose to life.

If I am not feeling content, I can't be happy. It's being content with the simple things in life.

[Teeki]

I agree that happiness is something you can't constantly be in search of. You try so hard looking for it that you can't see the happy-making things right in front of you, and in the end you won't be happy at all - you'll feel like it's constantly just out of reach.

For me, I do have goals, there are things I want that I don't yet have - I'm looking forward to fixing things in our house, making a front and back yard, planning holidays with the kids. But I'm not unhappy because I don't have those things yet, I'm happy because we're working towards them. I'm also happy in my job, with my family, with what I'm doing with myself.

I can pinpoint exactly why I was so very unhappy in recent years. My job was soul-sucking. And the stupid thing is, I chose it for the money. The money did not make me happy, but the stress very nearly led to a nervous breakdown. So now, I do a job I'm happy in, 6 hours a day, 2 days a week. I have more time for my family and myself, and while it'll take longer to get those material things we would like, we are all so much happier for it.

[AnyDream]

Happiness is a bit of a tricky concept, and it's not very easy to define, as it's very subjective. On one level, I think we tend to think about it as that "up" emotional state - but I don't think that's a realistic goal, because there are highs and lows in life. So we need to take a broader view.

Something that i think is more useful - easier to understand, and easier to apply - are the concepts of positive psychology. Martin Seligman (who wrote Flourish) has a 5-point model of emotional wellbeing: PERMA

Positive emotion - spending time doing what makes us feel good,eg spending time with friends/family, getting into nature, whatever.
Engagement - this is about doing things that you're really engaged with, that put you into a state of flow
Relationships - this is about being connected to other people
Meaning - this is your sense of being part of something bigger than you, having a sense of purpose.
Achievement - these are your accomplishments.

These five areas are strongly correlated with high levels of personal wellbeing. I highly recommend you have a look at some of Seligman's work, there are youtube videos and he has a website where you can do some questionnaires, etc. There have also been a few telly programs on the ABC over the last couple of years, like Being Happy and Making Couples Happy.

I'm not sure that it's something you can decide at short notice, kwim? But if you start asking questions, thinking and getting some evidence-based tools (eg, like the positive psychology stuff) then you'll be able to grow your understanding of what it means to you, and more importantly, how to live your life so that you're accessing as much of that as you can.

[beansbeans!]

Thank you all!
You have all given me plenty to think about, read, write, and watch.

I think I am going through a major emotional growth at the moment. And I'm finding what made me content and happy etc in the past don't hit the mark at the moment.

So thank you!

[samiyassine]

Hey all,
I'm currently investigating where my happiness grows and is nurtured, and I'm having a couple of issues finding it..

So I'm wondering...
How do you define happiness and find happiness in your world?
As an individual, an a parent, partner?

Thanks in advance

Maybe you can’t skydive every day or take vacations every season, but as long as you get to do the things you love every once in a while, you will find greater happiness.