thread: I should have brought her home yesterday

  1. #19
    BellyBelly Member

    Apr 2009

    Glad to hear you spent some time with your baby and family got to meet her. If you feel like sharing your experience I'd love to hear about her. Only if you want to though. Some people are talkers (me) others aren't.. Just do what you feel comfortable with. Thinking of you and your family
    Blessedatlast - i to am a talker, makes me feel so much better. she was so gorgeous - looked just like her sister, so much alike actually that it would be hard to tell them apart if you didnt know the difference. i was due to have her on the 16.10 and early hours of the 15.10 i decided i wasnt comfotable with how little movement i had been feeling so went to the hospital about 2am. The midwives couldn't find a heartbeat and decided to call my ob - i think they already knew that she was gone. My ob was fantastic and confirmed with a scan straight away that she was gone. He and the miwives were crying and strangely that was comforting rather than it being so clinical and stale. I decided to come home to be with family and talk to my daughter (as best you can with a 2 year old) about what was going on. I had her that evening. I feel like we did everything possible to preserve her memory and while i am so destroyed by all of this i know there is no way that we will ever forget her and hope that her big sister and any of her other siblings will now have a peice of her forever.

  2. #20
    BellyBelly Member

    Jul 2008
    Home with my Son :)

    It's so sad.. I'm really sorry., do they know why she died in utero? Have you been in touch with a bereavement support group such as Sids and Kids or Bears of Hope? I started going to support meetings a couple of months after my boys died. I have met some of the most amazing women that have walked very tough roads, and they will be life long friends.. Same with the women here on BB. I found this poem I love it, I hope you may find comfort in the words..

    A Birth Healing Blessing

    Blessed sister, beautiful one

    with broken wings.
    Your journey is a difficult one
    that no mother should have to endure.
    Your path is steep, rocky and slippery
    and your tender heart is in need of gentle healing.

    Breathe deeply and know that you are loved.
    You are not alone,
    though at times, you will feel like a
    desolate island of grief
    Close your eyes.
    Seek the wisdom of women who have walked this well-worn path before you,
    and before,
    and before you yourself were born.
    These beautiful ones
    with eyes like yours
    have shared your pain, and
    weathered the storms of loss.

    You are not alone (breathe in)
    You will go on (breathe out)
    Your wings will mend (breathe in)
    You are loved (breathe out)

  3. #21
    BellyBelly Member

    Feb 2010
    on a big patch of paradise.

    I am deeply saddened to hear of your precious daughter becoming an angel.

  4. #22
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Aug 2009

    Oh precious girls, for your broken hearts... I would like to write more, but strangely I can't. I'll drop back again later. Your wee little daughter gone too soon will always be your daugther, and you will love her for time immemorial. I am so sad that you're hurting so much now, but it's an important connection to her as you learn to live and parent your angel baby.

    At 2 toddlers don't grasp the finality of death. So whilst you might explain it and your daugther appears to understand, she might ask a question that takes your breath away. Just be as honest with her as you can. Reassure her that you love her. Now is the time or lots of cuddles for you both.

    What was your second daugther's name?

    Will be BBL to check on you....

    Much love.

  5. #23
    BellyBelly Member

    Apr 2009

    Blessedatlast - they don't know what happened at yet - it wasn't anything obvious like cord damage or infection in me. She has had an autopsy so hopefully something will show in that. It's funny how some days are good and others horrible. We had our first big function to go to yest with all our closest friends in one place. It wa so hard as everyone kept trying to corner us to talk about it but I just couldn't yesterday. Everyone just wanted to give me 'that face' but no one knew what to talk to me about so they kinda avoided me
    I do have a friend who is a clin psych who has got together a whole bunch of names of counsellors I can see as well as I have contacted sids for kids who said to all back as soon as I am ready for counselling.

    Dory - thank you for your lovel message. It truly is horrible her name is Anastasia. We had her funeral on Friday. It was absolutely beautiful which is sad and happy all at once. Dd1 is doing well which is a relief. She is happy most of the time And does talk about dd2 so we have made progress. Xox

  6. #24
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber
    Add Footsteps on Facebook

    Mar 2008
    Waterloo, Merseyside, UK

    Re: I should have brought her home yesterday

    I'm so sorry to hear that princess Anastasia was to precious for this world huni. Huge hugs and support from us all. Xxx

  7. #25
    BellyBelly Member

    Sep 2009

    Hi MumtoA,
    Sorry to have to meet you under these circumstances. The other ladies have all given great advice.
    It is a long hard road, seeing a Psyc will help, I still see mine now.
    Talk about her whenever you need too, to everyone who will listen.
    Keep her memory alive for your little girl, she will adapt, and gain understanding as she gets older.
    I lost my daughter at 41 weeks and 2 days old, my other children were young, the youngest been only 2.
    She knows about her sister but doesn't really understand the concept of death even now (she is 6 now).
    We are all here if you need to talk,
    Thinking of you and Anastasia (beautiful name for a precious girl).
    Take care,
    Last edited by ButterflyForever; October 30th, 2012 at 03:15 PM. : remove signiture

  8. #26
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Aug 2009

    I am glad to know both Anastasia's name and that for you her funeral was beautiful. Hugs.....sending you lots of love and strength.

  9. #27
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2012

    I am so very sorry for your loss, it is just so awful. I lost my first baby at 26 weeks, he would be 21 this year. Never feel like you have to be strong, or you have to keep it all inside. Cry and yell as much as you like. I'm now pregnant with my 5th baby and every pregnancy gives me the crazies. Remember that you are not alone and it has happened to other people, without any reason or explanation. I wish you all the best in love and healing xx