Aww Geez...what do I do??????

I am so pleased it has worked out so well, you have been so good for that girl and she knows she has your suport which will make her stronger.

i agree with mrsmac - it might have only been a couple of weeks, but you've shown D what a real family SHOULD be like - and being with her mum, she might be enough of a positive influence to get her mum to sort her crap out

and if things go sour, she knows she has your family to turn to for support and advice. it really does take just ONE person to see the good in you, for you to see the good in yourself - and you've done that for XtraD hun!

I never lived with them, but when I had to leave home at 17 I was 'adopted' by a family with a wonderful mother and daughter not much older than me. They've had plenty of problems of their own, but I don't know what I'd have done without their support. Things were pretty ***** with my own family for many years.

Just being there for her will make all the difference. Having a safety net may give her the courage to make her own life what she wants it to be.

I know I'm not the only person who can look back and say, if it wasn't for someone in my life, who knows if I'd even be here today?

PS I hope things get better with your DD...

sigh.... I am posting here lulu because you have recently gone through a similar situation. As you know DN has been living with us since mid November. Last night we had a chat because she couldn't sleep. She thinks that she wants to go back to her mothers... two days previously she had asked me to find out about getting legal guardianship of her. While I can see how much she has grown as a person, she is still a kid - still learning how to make good decisions. I can't make her stay here. I told her that I would have to talk to childsafety on Monday, and that I thought it would be a good idea if she spent sometime with her mother before making a definitive decision. I hate that I have to stand still on this, that I can't jump up and down and go NO WAY... I'm sorry I'm rambling a bit now - I guess I just wish that my sister would get her ***** together and do the right thing by her kids - i know in my gut that it isn't going to happen, and while things may be ok for a couple of days, it will quickly go back to how it always is. I dont know what to do, I dont know what I want to do, I dont even know what I can do...........

V - given you have been granted interim custody of your DN, is it worth arranging mediation with her mum and access visits for a period of time? to show your niece you want her to reconcile with her, but you want to make sure it's on the best terms for HER. it doesn't sound like your sister has improved much, and you'd end up likely fixing up her stuff ups again, but it's also a situation that is damn hard to fix when your niece wants to be near her mum. you've shown her what a mum is supposed to be like, and she's probably hoping that going home will mean her mum will be what you've been - a positive and supportive role model

i guess i'm suggesting trying to make an arrangement so that your niece is still safe with you most of the time, but gets time with mum so that SHE can see over a period of time that mum hasn't changed. if she is visiting every week or second week, it won't take mum long to fall back into old habits

my heart goes out to you - you're doing all in your power to make a difference for your DN, and i can only imagine how hard this must be for you

thinking of you

BG

:hug: Hang in there Vx.

Wow, YOU need support. Its a hard one, because its very likely she may need to come back to you, and that's further upheaval for your family.

Can you ask child safety for some support for yourself?

xoxoxoxo thinking of you, let us know what they say.