TMI: post-birth hygiene down there...

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Thanks for the tips Julie - would you mind coming to Sweden and being my doula for the next birth? :-)

Water birth is straight-out forbidden here, which is so strange as Sweden is so progressive in many other ways. They use some old anti-waterbirth research as justification, which means I would need to have a home birth to birthy baby in water - can you please talk me down from my fears - although I've had two relatively easy fast and straight-forward births, I've been concerned about the risks of not being close enough to medical help in an emergency

...I'm not even pregnant yet (nor do I even have my period back after 10.5 months, I'm pretty sure I'll have to stop BFing for 24 hours like I did for my last child). So it's a long way off....

Just putting myself out there

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WOW! What an amazing offer! If you were able to take care of the airfare, I absolutely would consider it! I am very comfortable with waterbirth, convinced of its safety and appropriateness. About 90% of the homeborn babies I have been present at the birth for, were born in water (including my own 4th baby).

I have actually travelled to Thailand and the USA to so birth support work before, we call it a "doula holiday".

But even if it is not practically or financially feasible, I would be happy to chat more and help you come to peace with thos ol' fears. Fears are not necessarily a bad thing and are very much a normal part of the journey to birth and to trust. We just got to tame them and befriend them.

Wondering about contacting Waterbirth International to see if they might know of some waterbirth-friendly birth workers in Sweden. There must be some!

Hi again Tanyaya, another mama shared this with me recently:

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"I think these fears that crop up are a good thing. I think many women travel into birth without ever dealing with those fears that lurk deeply. And I believe birth is a time where the life/death connection is more prominant than at any other time, regardless of where you birth. I have seen women genuinely think they were dying during birth. And I have seen these un-examined fears cause decisions to be made that were really not necessary, and cloud the issues and prevent decisions that should have been made. It is really hard to "just trust" unless you examine and deal with those fears. To do so you need to examine these things:

1. What are your fears?
2. What would be the cause if those fears came true (eg - if you are fearful of dying - what things can happen which would cause you to die?)
3. What are my chances of these things happening in hospital?
4. What are my chances of these things happening at home?
5. What would be my action plan if one of those things happened or I had signs that one was starting to happen?

I have never known a woman to genuinely go through the above list and not choose homebirth. But you must choose whatever is right for you after you have written all the answers and examined it."

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Hope that might be helpful at some point.

Also Birthing From Within is a great book to help women explore their feelings and fears around birth.

Another good book is 'Birth Space, Safe Space'