Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss May 2007 #2

Thanks for all the good wishes girls and congrats Pash, i had a feeling i wouldn't be the only one with good news :D Your post summed up our feelings - shocked and scared too.

I've spent most of today in fairyland, i'm a bit overwhelmed and honestly don't think it's hit me yet, and prob won't for a while. i'm feeling hopeful the bloods will be good, and will then try to keep a lid on my excitement until i can see my obs at 7 weeks and hopefully see a little heart beating away. that'll be my birthday, and we were always planning on getting our 20 week scan that week and finding out the sex. this is of course a different pregnancy and baby but there will still be sadness there that day.

Satya, i'm sorry for your BFN but, the good news is no AF for you yet so you're still in the game. hopefully you'll be sharing some good news with us all soon.

Lee, your symptoms sound promising, fingers crossed. i tested today at 16dpo. last time i got a bfp at 14dpo, after bfns at 11 and 12 dpo.

Nik - happy birthday!!! hopefully you're out having a fab meal somewhere and being spoilt.

Sharon i think that temp rise sounds great, i'd be very excited! good luck for the 15th, hopefully time flies by for you.

Bun, good news about AF not showing her face. like you said, it could mean a bfp or at the very least your LP is longer this cycle, which can only be a very positive thing for the future (assuming you're not pg this cycle).

Good luck with the test, i'm thinking of you. it's natural for people in our situation to be terrified at the prospect of being pregnant, as there's nothing we can do to control it. when i felt panicky about the idea of being pg again (and today, when i felt teary at the thought a m/c could happen again) i reminded myself that this is something i have to go through if i want a baby. it wouldn't be lovely though to have a guarantee, it's so hard being a woman sometimes.

Kiwigirl - hope the 2ww goes quickly for you! it's such a loooong time when it's all you can think about. i've been counting down to today, as i just wanted to know if i was pg, but now i'm counting down until week 7 (a 3ww - argh!) to hopefully see a heartbeat, and then no doubt it'll be counting down till the NT scan, when our world came crashing down last time. Anyway, i've got a good feeling about you, i'll be watching with crossed fingers!

Salt, hope you're feeling okay today. one of my girlfriends stopped taking her temp after o and reckons it saved her sanity. taking your temps won't make a pg any more likely so if it helps not to, then go for it. i understand about late o'ing too, i've never o'd earlier than day 17, but day 19 was more likely and lately has been in the low 20s. i used to be so jealous of those girls who o at day 12 or whatever. Hope you're okay.

Thanks again for all the support, you girls are amazing.

Claire & Pash - CONGRATULATIONS!!! That is such wonderful news for you both. Sending you lots of sticky vibes, and hope that the m/s is easy on you!

Satya - Sorry that you are feeling down about the BFN, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and hope that and BFP is right around the corner.

Salt - Waiting for O truly sucks does't it? Well waiting for anything actually sucks, and unfortunately that seems to be all we do whilst TTC... I hate it!

Bun - So sorry to hear that you are feeling so stressed! It's completely understandable, you have been through so much lately. I hope that things start to get easier for you soon. I'll keep my fingers crossed for a BFP followed of course by a healthy stress free pregnancy and a beautiful healthy baby at the end of it.

Big hi to all the newbies in here, sorry I have not welcomed you sooner, it's been so busy in here and I have really lost track! Also a big hi to everyone I've missed.

Well, I'm CD12 and waiting for O to arrive. Have been pretty quiet lately as the last cycle really messed with my head. I just feel completely over the whole TTC thing. I'm still temping and we will try again this cycle, but just feel like it's never going to happen for me. It's now been a year of trying for us and I'm about to turn another year older which is really making me re-evaluate my life. I realise that the one thing I really want, is the one thing I can't seem to control. I just want to be a mum, but it seems that for the moment life has other plans for me. Anyhow, I'm trying really hard to pull myself out of this low, but as I'm sure you all know, its not always that easy.

Well, I'll stop moaning now! Hope everyone is well.

Bun, any news? :pray:

Thanks for all the support (and education) along the way. I was having such a tough time after my D&C that I was really worried about my sanity (part joke, part true). I don't know where I would've been without BB & all you lovely ladies.

And thanks for all the congrats, well wishes & various types of dust! :bluedust: right back :)

I am hugely releived, but I guess we're not out of the woods yet. But I'm going to try not to worry, cos there's no way to know that everything is on track. Last time my HCG was fine, BTs were all good, but there was no heartbeat. So can't really tell whats going to happen, so I am going to try to assume that nothing bad is going to happen.

DH is the opposite though. He had prepared himself for a BFN, so much that he still doesn't beleive that we are pg. Doesn't want to plan for anything or change our lives. Which we have to do, cos we've got to book tickets to Oz, give notice at work & organise a move. I think he was hurt by the m/c more than I realised.

Lee - Its great that you're feeling positive & relaxed. Its a good way to be. I tested at 16DPO.
Rachael - LOL! It was my first neurotic TWW too! I didn't even know what a TWW was before!
Salt - How are you doing? You're almost at the fun part of the cycle.
Clairabel - I've got to admit, I'd calculated the EDD before I'd even tested :redface: I was dreaming that much. I feel so lucky to get the BFP.
Satya - How are you doing? Are you still about or on hols? DH accuses me of being addicted to BB as well (and I think he might be right). But ppl who are going through the same thing are so much more understanding & supportive than even the closest well-meaning friend.
Bun - Its a pity you're being forced into finding out, esp when you were in such a good frame of mind. Good luck for your HPT.

Your trip sounds fantastic, and you really deserve a break (the clinic can't exactly follow you to Spain with their needles can they). There's no reason you can't get upto baby making while travelling ;)

:hello: everyone I hope everything is going well :ttc: I have you all in my prayers hoping we all get an :bfp: very soon :grouphug: is what we need at this moment. I know it can be discouraging when getting an :bfn: have faith and everything will work out fine. It's nice talking to you all your so sweet thanks for listening.
Love Niki

Good morning ladies.

Bun I think progesterone support can help keep an early pregnancy if lack of it is an issue so maybe that's what they are referring to. I don't think the men in our lives will ever get how affected we get by the whole TTC thing. My DF caught me last night putting a liner on as I noticed a spot and gave me a hug and said don't cry you are going to the doctor next week so he will help you and we will get there. I managed to keep the tears away but he can't possibly understand what's going on in my head. Before I met him I had 8.5 years of unsuccessful TTC and that has scarred me emotionally, and he will never ever fully understand that. At 41 my time is running out and each month just makes it a little harder to deal with getting my AF. I'm very lucky to have such an understanding partner, but he still we never really get it fully. How did your HPT go?
Salt My temps really are driving me insane this cycle. I've now had a third dip below coverline so FF has taken by coverline away completely. I'm pretty sure the reason for the dip will be that AF is about to show her ugly face. I can't believe the anger I feel towards FF for taking my coverline away..... it's saying I could still be fertile. I'm sure it's my cold that's mucked up my temps.
Leyla I know what you mean. It is really hard to deal with realising that you can't control your own fertility. Even women who already have a child or two find it really hard to deal with when they realise having another one is not as simple as they once thought. One thing I find particularly difficult to deal with is women on here who announce their pregancies and then say things like "and we weren't even trying". I saw one yesterday which had that statement in it who is only 17 and is having her second and the word "finally" appeared in the announcement. Finally.... she has no idea. It hit me hard and I had to log off instantly.
Pash No I'm not going away anywhere. We picked up my DF's 4 year old daughter last night and we have her until Tuesday. I'm really lucky that we get to spend a decent amount of time with her. It eases the pain I have in my heart for not having yet been successful with having my own child. We will be having lots of family time this weekend which is always fun.

Hello to everyone else. Hope everyone has a great long weekend.

[Well as I said in the post my temp has gone really low & I have had a couple of pinkish spots so it looks like AF could be on her way. My cm is still creamy though & I had some weird BB pain on the right side last night so I guess I am still in with a slight chance, but I'm not feeling confident. My skin is still really clear. The urinary frequency has eased off quite a bit but I still had to get up in the night to go once. You can probably tell from my post I'm feeling really emotional today... probably a good thing that I'm home alone today.

Morning all,

Satya - How are you feeling now? Hope that cold has well and truly gone! I'm so sorry for your BFN hun *hugs*.

Timnik - I've doing a Clomid cycle now (did 6 ttc DS and 3 early in 2005), and yes, you do need to wait for full flow to start (full flow is considered CD1). Good luck for this cycle! Oh, and Happy belated birthday to you!!

Salt - Sorry about your dreams and your bad day, hope you are feeling a little better now. Those preconception capsules sound like a great idea, let me know how you go! DH is taking zinc at the moment (just incase our last 2 embryo's don't work).

Sandie - So sorry for your loss :( DS took us nearly 3 years and fertility assited and we are coming up to 3 years for ttc #2. It is hard and to finally fall pregnant and miscarry is heartbreaking. Good luck, hope your next cycle brings you lots of luck.

Bun - Ooooh, you're going to Paris! You lucky thing, my Dream destination!!! Sounds like a wonderful holiday! Just wanted to send you some big hugs too, I understand why you must be terrified, hoping and :pray: the next one sticks.

Claireable - Congrats on your BFP :clap: Wishing you a H&H 8 months!

Pash - congrats on your BFP too :dance: Wow, a few BFP's...hoping it rubs off on everyone else!!

Think it's time one of the longer term members here get one...sending you all sticky vibes girls!

Lee - Not too long to go now until you test! How are you feeling today?

Sharon - Hoping that the temp spike is in fact a positive sign! Not long until your appointment now either, hope you get that BFP before hand!

Leyla - I hope you get your O soon, good luck hun.

Hi to anyone I may have missed.

I'm off for embryo transfer at 11.30am this morning, very excited to have gotten this far and that the embryo has survived the thaw (which is always the one thing I fear most at an FET - having it taken away before even getting a chance). I'm feeling really positive, eating well, drinking lots (Oh....when do I stop the pineapple juice?????????). We are also moving this weekend, so have been frantically packing and cleaning as DH does not want me doing anything to strenuous over the weekend, so mum and dad are coming down to help. Hopefully the move will make the first week of the 2WW go nice and quick, DH is on holidays all next week so we'll try and keep nice and busy!

Good luck to those testing in the next day or two, will check in over the weekend!

Satya - I really feel for you. And I have to say, it really irkes me that someone like you, who is obviously so loving and would make such a wonderful Mum, is having trouble ttc. It's not fair, it really isn't. I often wonder what the "big plan" is for us all. I lost my first husband (in an aviation accident) when our kids were 2 and 4 years old. It was the worst time of my life, but somehow I got through it. Being a single parent (not by my own choice) was incredibly challenging whilst grieving. Anyway, that was 5 years ago. 2 years ago I met my wonderful new husband, and my life took a completely new and wonderful turn again. We knew we wanted a baby, so got to work and fell pregnant without too much effort. And to have our gorgeous baby born and die 18 hours later was so utterly devastating - he was my joy after so much pain .... sorry for the vent ....... but I just can't help but wonder "what the hell was all that about", "what is the plan"????????? What is the lesson here for me???

Haven't come up with many great answers, but I'm working on it. But I do know for sure that the best way to honour my dear loved ones who are not with me physically, is to live well, and to keep trying. :)

And thats all any of us can do - to keep trying, to not give in, to not get bitter about things that we cannot control (easier said than done at times).

Anyway, I'm just wanting to tell you - to hang in there. Great you are going to get some help. I do believe you will have a baby, but sometimes the best prizes are so hard fought for, that'll make them even more special.

Hugs to you all.

Lee xoxo

(p.s. 10 dpo for me............. this truly is taking forever!! - my BBs have been sore, a bit of creamy cm, and still don't feel moody like AF is on her way - but this could all be in my head too!!) Last month AF arrived on CD27 (today) - but I usually have a longer cycle, more like 30 days. I had such a heavy AF last cycle, the first "proper" one after having my little boy in early March. So, hopefully, that kind of cleared the way for a good O, and now a wedding time BFP??? Don't think I can test until another 4 days, by which time AF will just be late............... patience............aaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh!
:)

Hi guys,

Sorry, a selfish post from me today. I tested last night and got a clear BFP (and I had just peed two hours earlier, so wasn't expecting such a dark line). So I have had the BT this morning and am now in the agonising wait for results. I am not even slightly happy or excited; just scared out of my mind. I wish I could be happy, but with my past experince, my brain is telling me that it will only end in heartbreak, and I don't know how much more I can take. I will let you all know what they say when they phone me this afternoon. Part of me is thinking they will say I am not pg at all, or else the levels aren't good enough to sustain it. I shouldn't be worried really. If it doesn't work out, then we just try again, but I am just need a break right now or I think I am going to go nuts.

Las good luck with the transfer. Remember it's only 1 glass of pineapple juice a day up until you think implantation would have occurred.

Lee I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for you to lose your 1st husband like that with two little kids. Life must have been tough for some time afterwards I should imagine. Life can really throw some challenges at you can't it? As much as life can give you a very bumpy road to travel, I have learnt you never know what is around the corner for you.... my life has been full of bumps and curves. Some surprises in life are not so good, and others are great, I certainly did not expect to be pregnant in March this year, but it did happen and I know it can happen again. I try to keep thinking that having a younger partner must have to boost our odds somewhat, but that could just be wishful thinking.

Bun Congrats on the BFP. I know you are not excited about it but I am very excited for you. I'm thinking it's third time lucky for you. The results will come back really positive and things will go well for you this time. A lady I work with is about to become a grandmother for the first time. Her daughter in law had two miscarriages in a row followed by a successful pregnancy - without any medical intervention at all so it is possible. Please try to keep positive as all the worry will do you no good.

Hi Girls

Well firstly let me say a huge big congratulations to Pash and Clairable and Bun on your BFP's!!! I totally understand you being scared out of your mind by the way. I'm scared even TTC.

Las best of luck with the transfer, fingers crossed !!

Ok so the scan says the follicle is now 18.3mm and there is still only one, but it looks like a good one. So according to her bloods we are ready to go ahead and trigger tonight for the IUI on Sunday. So we are in with a chance. Will let you know how it goes.

Thinking of you all xxx

Bun - I have been thinking about you all day sitting waiting for your BT results, even though I don't "know" you... I've had too many of those and I totally know how you're feeling. Hang in there... and I'm so happy for your BFP! It's fine to feel how you're feeling and natural and the emotional rollercoaster is going to happen no matter what but I really feel like this is the one for you (third time lucky, right!!!) :) Three of us in here getting BFP in such a short space of time. xx

Wowzers! I have one day away from here and look what happens! Big congratulations to Clairbel, Bun and Pash :clap::dance: I am so happy to hear of the great news, and can totally understand your fears but I am sure that everyone will be fine. Best of luck to you all on your journies.
Las - thanks for the advice on the clomid. Things still haven't improved for me though with the the full on AF. It is now day 5 of pinkish/brownish spotting. I stupidly took one of my clomid tablets yesterday thinking that the full on AF was coming but nothing? Do you find that the clomid affects your cycle like this at all? I am on CD29 today and have had irregular cycles in the past, sometimes 21 days other times 35??? Never had this spotting like this though? I though clomid was supposed to 'regulate' you? :dunno:

Wish things would sort themselves out so I can get on with the next cycle! Couldn't be worse timing either, my DH and I are going away tonight for a 'special' night at the coast to stay in a luxury hotel. A birthday gift from my sister, which was lovely.

Thanks so much to everyone that sent birthday wishes my way too, I had a pretty good day and turning 30 probably wasn't as bad as I was predicting.:D

Time for a new thread ladies.... here.:)