Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss ~ June/July 2010

Hello Ladies,

I hope you don't mind me joining you all in here.

In May this year i found out i was pregnant again. I was a bit shocked as my baby was only 5 months old. There would be a 13 month age gap :o but we soon got very excited by the idea of having another precious baby. I had some spotting at around 5 weeks and a again at 7 weeks which turned out to be nothing, baby was fine according to u/s. Then at 11.5 weeks i had a tiny streak of blood which worried me enough to see the dr about. She sent me to have an u/s straight away and it was confirmed that our precious bub had passed away at 9 weeks. I had to have a d&c (hell!) and had a MASSIVE bleed which landed me in emergency three days later and it was discovered that i had some retained product (exactly what you need to deal with after a miscarriage! NOT!).
I have just had another u/s which has confirmed that i passed the retained product on my own (thank goodness! Won't need another d&c afterall! Good ol' uterus!) so now i am thinking about the whole TTC journey and when would be the best time for me to start...

This is my fourth miscarriage, two missed and two early (4-5 weeks). My GP is referring me for some testing. I am scared... but i really want another baby and i don't want a big age gap between Archie and the next baby. I am still breastfeeding Archie (he is 7 months old now) and one doctor told me i should wait til after i've finished b/fing to try again, another doc said to wait at least two cycles. I know i should wait the two cycles, i should wait til i've seen the specialist (who knows how long that will take though) but i just want to be pregnant again. I am worried that becoming pregnant too soon will have a negative impact on the next pregnancy. I'm so torn. I have had a miscarriage, a healthy baby, two miscarriages, another healthy baby and then this last miscarriage, so i know my body can do it. Am i just unlucky? How soon did you all start trying again? Is it true falling pregnant too soon will risk the next pregnancy?

Sorry for the ramble and the 100 questions. Feeling a bit lost at the moment..

Kym x

Stoked- You are more than welcomed here, sorry to hear about your losses :comfort: I hope you get some answers soon.

Reet- Everything changes when we are trying to create our little miracles and every month seems to feel like another loss, another part of ourselves that are lost also :( FX that AF doesn't come for you and all those months of dedication finally pay off
Also I'm kinda emarressed to admit the circumstances of being shocked :redface:

ForShelby- Hope you're not feeling too much like a pin cushion already. Perhaps you could ask the loud one to keep it down a bit for now or even tell a white lie about it for now?

Kellie- Sometimes that tiny glimmer is all we need to get us through the TWW FX you :)

Bons- Have you got anything planned for your EDD or just having a quiet one?

Iona- Yays for the 1WW :D

AFM- I had an awesome yet shocking night with DP last night :redface::lol: and started spotting this afternoon so now I'm not sure if we done something wrong last night. I hope I didn't screw anything up. I really wish I had remembered my thermometer though as DP mentioned that I had been rather sweaty and really hot during the night so IMO it would have been pretty interesting to find out what my temp would have been but oh well that time has come and gone. At least by the end of tomorrow AF should be here properly and I can change my temping time to a lil earlier so that there should be less fluctuations although lower temps.Yays for my next month of TTC, perhaps THIS will be the one, Try in July for Sore bust in August ;) lol

damprye - electric shock?? have i missed something??

stoked - hi and welcome, sorry to hear of your losses. It's really up to you when you want to start ttc, some start straight away some wait a cycle. sending you heaps of hugs

Reet - what cycle day are you?? hoping AF stays away!!

forshelby - how are you going sweety?? of course you can hang with us, i'd miss you if you went to far (hehehe I would just stalk you in the pregnancy thread anyway) If you request a scan your dr should give it to you, especially if it's for piece of mind....I know with last month, it was my dr that wanted to send me for a scan straight away!! Yep DF's cousin is draining - there are so many things that she has turned around and made it about herself from our engagement party, my pregnancy with DS to my birthday, which I am really worried about my 30th next month as her's is 5 days before mine but she is not doing anything big as 'she will be fat, pregnant and won't be able to drink....', when I got that email I nearly let it rip but took a step back and said I'm not going to stoop to her level (which I need reminding a few times)

kell - when will you be testing?? so glad that your SIL is ok and hope the contractions have stopped completely

bons - I know exactly how you feel - last week I got the baby shower invite for the girl who's bub is due 5 days after what I would of been. I then got an email from her saying she would love it if I was there but she understands - I thought to myself I never get emails from you before you found out I had a m/c and now I have had 2 one going on about her status updates she doesn't mean for them to upset me if they do but her and her b/f are so excited etc...I just felt I don't need her pity!! sending you heaps of hugs my darling

dory - oh are you down to single figure weeks yet??

Hi to everyone else!!
AFM - well the tiredness has been sticking around, I'm getting a few lil twinges in my bb's and are feeling a lil heavier, today at my PT sess I was short of breath and nearly slept in!!! FF has me testing next mon which wil CD 31....let's see how the week pans out!!

Hello All,
Stoked - Welcome! Im sorry for your losses, and im sure you will feel comfortable here soon xxx
Iona - The dreaded baby shower invite, it can really ruin a day cant it, I understand about your friend....and them being excited and everything, but some people just dont understand how your heart breaks just a little more each time with things like that. So glad you are still tired~!
Forshelby - Of course you can stick around! xxxx
Reet - Hope your patience sticks around with not testing and it rewards you with a BFP!
Dampyre - Did we all miss something????? my mind has gone straight to the gutter haha xxx
Hugs Possum if you are lurking xxxx
Kellbell- are you hiding in here somewhere? How is everything with you?
AFM - Nothing much planned for EDD, just going to keep everything quiet, Im still spotting, I hope it goes away soon. Im starting to get motivated to BD ;)
xxxx

Damprye - WTF.... :o What happened? I'm having images of some kind of 'buzzing friend' accident. LMAO. My mind is also in the gutter like Bons. Sorry for laughing.. I hope you're ok! I have no idea what that would do... hopefully nothing except cause your friends to giggle like it has. :D The loud one at work is loud about everything, so there isn't much point. Plus everyone will know soon enough anyway so why bother. She knows I was TTC and I told her I am pg, (we are pretty close despite her occasional insensitive comment... but she has hever mc before, and nobody's perfect).

Reet - I have no idea what's going on. he didn't say anything about a repeat bt, just said to make another appt to see him next saturday. So that's that for now. I don't like him very much, but DP says I'm overreacting. We'll see how it goes, I suppose. I agree too, an early scan would be more stressful than none at all. I hope O'ing on day 17 is lucky for you like it was for me. It must be so hard going through this month after month. i do have some idea though as I would wish for a miracle every month when we weren't ttc...... just wanting my baby back. FX this is it for you and I can kidnap you to the PAML thread. Not that I've been brave enough to really join in much. :redface:

Stoked - Welcome! Sorry to hear about all your mcs. I say do what you feel is right. A mc is devastating, let alone four. I understand the desire to ttc again asap. Listen to your heart. The answer is in there somewhere. Good luck!

Iona - Feeling alright.. slightly worried, but alright. Your DF's cousin sounds like a real too. Very annoying. I would be irritated too if I heard a pg woman complaining about being fat. I can't WAIT to look like I'm smuggling a basketball. LOL... my pants already don't fit properly but I think that's all the eating I've been doing. I'm so bloated it's crazy. I think I look at least 16weeks or more! Good for you for not stooping to ms 'centre of the universe's level. About the girl who sent you a baby shower invite, try not to be too hard on her. I get the sense she doesn't mean any harm. (of course I base this on nothing at all.. hehe). Perhaps her way of being supportive just isn't working for you. Not that that's any fault of yours, just the way it is. Although, you would think if she thought her status might upset you, that she would BLOCK you from being able to see it. Pretty easily done. Hmm.. I just might have to reconsider this girl's motivations. Some people are confusing! yay for only 1 more week to wait! Wooh!! I hope the diredness and twinges are IT. :D Good luck, hun!


Matthews mum - How are the bt's going?

AFM, feeling slightly edgy and a little bit panicky. Today I was tired, but not like I have been... and my bbs don't hurt much at all! In fact, I think the ouchiness has decreased today. :( Don't know what to think. (they're still bigger than normal though) I've been poking and prodding them hoping for a big ouchie moment... but I'm just getting that 'pms' type soreness. My nipples were pretty scratchy and sore yesterday, today they feel a bit better. I just don't know what's going on!!! And it's driving me a little crazy. No bleeding though, only some slight twingey crampiness. Nothing painful, just weird feeling. I do remember similar sensations from my first pg, but don't know if they're a good or a bad thing. Stupid doctor making me wait another 7 weeks for a scan..... it's tempting to fake a bleed just to get the freaking scan. (of course I wouldn't, but it's crossed my mind). I have felt slightly nauseous on and off, but still haven't actually been sick. Last pg I was already throwing up on and off. I know no two pgs are the same.. but still. Oh, and I'm still ravenously hungry. But I'm starting to fret just a little. Is it even possible to have a mmc this early? I wouldn't think so. Come on, baby... STICK! You'd better make me throw up tomorrow, too. Or else you're grounded. Ya hear me, junior? GROUNDED. Let mummy know you're in there and ok.... :(

ForShelby- I think we all know how hard it is when symptoms come and go but I hope your bub is a sticky one.

Bons- Yay for the coming sausage sizzle :p

Iona- What CD are you at atm? I tend to forget lol. I hope you get your BFP :)

AFM- First of all there is a lot of TMI in this one so sorry.
Yes, electric shock and yes, your minds are in the right place lol...DP has been mucking around making his own "toy" and is using me as a guinea pig to work out the voltage lol... :redface:
AF is certinately here but I am so not pleased about it, not because the witch has arrived but because of the horrid cramps and it is all clotty and very deep red so yeah.. but at least I have hit CD1 now :)

Im here :p

Bons thanks for thinking of me!
Bring on the sausage sizzle :p. Are you using opks or temping this month?
sorry your EDD is coming its really hard and def not fair that our bubs aren't here with us!

Forshelby - big hugs :hug: bubs they always cause you worry even after they are born, think that's the life of a mother. hope peanut behaves and your nausea kicks back in. its really normal for symptoms to come and go. I had no early scan with DD but think it was better as well. though its torture waiting, the first three months are the worst. Well all be here to get you through. Think each day brings you closer to your peanut xoxox
make sure you stay in here for a long while. you give us all hope :D

:ROFL: dampyre you had be laughing hope the electric shock wasn't too bad!!!

Iona sounds so promising hope you get a huge BFP next week. Are you going to test on Monday?
oh the awful baby shower invite makes you feel ill. a bunch of girls gushing over her belly when it should be you. its heart breaking. i missed quite a few after my first loss. i just dont think some people get it no matter what they say.
yep her contractions have stopped. Shes back at home and resting hoping to keep bubs in for a few more weeks. her preg is a long story(single always lived with parents never worked on centrelink using ivf kind of long :o) lets just say shes not my fav person but wouldn't wish ill apon her and bubs.
Least ill get to be an aunty for the first time!

Welcome Stoked - sorry for your losses and hope you get a BFP soon

Reet - hope that BFP is coming your way. your amazing to wait i really hope that AF stays away
i know what you mean its draining every month i really hope this was the last month you'll have to think about ttc and then all youll have to think about it growing a bubba!!!!

matthewsmum how are you going? are you having your blood tests? thinking of you

sorry to everyone i have missed

afm - Going to do a first response test in the morning! im nervous already
started to get some symptoms - this could be me reading to much into everything as always
i have no idea what day post ovulation i am FF says day 13 but i reckon im prob about day 10
- metallic taste in my mouth started today
- tender breasts and heavy
- very tired
- hungry all the time
- some lower twinges

oh well if it all comes to nothing ill be Trying in July for Sore bust in August just like dampyre :D

Just a quickie from me!
I wanted to say Good Luck Kellbell!!! U have way more guts then i do!! I wld be terrified if i was testing.. i dont think i will ever be able to use another test again until im atleast 2 weeks late.. even then i wld be petrified its just my body being its usual messed up! I hope u get that BFP!! Continue forshelbys trend and then send us some luck!! :) xx

AFM- Day 28 today.. sometimes get a bit of a funny feeling in my tum.. cld be a kinda af feeling.. but not feeling anything else! So who knows how this month will pan out! Soon find out i guess! Probly another 3 or so days til af is due.. STAY AWAY!!!!!

Love to u all!! xx

Kellbell: fingers crossed for you for tomorrow, hope you get your two lines.
Bons: thanks for thinking of me. Still lurking but finding it hard to keep up as much with everyone. Hope AF leaves you properly by tomorrow so you can get busy! I feel for you with your EDD coming up. It's really hard i know.
Damprye: oh thank you for being brave enough to tell us what happened. I was ROFL! We can all do funny stuff from time to time. You are a brave girl to be a guinea pig for your DP! Hope you have no more shocks.
Reet: Praying this month is your month but i can understand why you're scared to test: i used to prefer to wait till i was late too.
Iona: Oh that would be great if you've fallen again so soon. FIngers crossed for you for next Mon.
Stoked: Welcome to the thread. I'm sorry for you recent loss. I have recently had my second m/c and it was good to see your comment that 'i know my body can do it' because i've lost a lot of confidence in mine. I fell pg so easily with my first child but now with two m/c in a row i've been worried that I'll never have another baby. It's good to see a success story (in that you have two kids already). I can certainly relate to that feeling of wanting to try again straight away. I think the whole thing of waiting til you finish breastfeeding is about how hard your body has to work (and how well you have to feed it) to both breastfeed and be pregnant. I know my friend found it very tiring doing both and decided to stop breastfeeding soon after (but her breastfeeding child was older than yours is and nearly ready to wean anyway) but i'm sure there are women who have continued with bf right through pg. Probably up to how you feel about it.

Dory: how's your furbaby?

AFM: Going to OB appointment tomorrow to check again if m/c is finished. (I reeaaally hope so because it's taken about 3.5 weeks. But bleeding seems to have stopped so i have hope). Struggling a bit with what to do next. I want to try again but scared of having a third m/c in a row. I'm going to have some tests done next week and my dr has suggested some medication for me for my next pg which could help....but what if it's some problem they haven't picked up yet? Oh well... no choice i guess if i want another baby. Got to take my chances and hope for the best.

forshelby - i didn't have m/s with DS, the only thing was I had to eat something as soon as I woke up which at the time was around 5am so that I could drive DF to work (he had lost his license for DUI, I was not a happy camper). The clothes not fitting I had that prob with my pregnancy at the start of the year - it was so annoying as I was in most of my jeans etc until I was 6 months!! Hoping the nausea and that kicks in a lil for you sweety. Love getting your updates, are you going to find out what you levels are??

Bons - yay on AF leaving the building, bring on the BD bonanza ;)

damprye - sorry to hear AF has arrived and that she isn't being very nice :hug: Today I am on CD26/11DPO, so technically going off all my cycles from the m/c in Feb, I'm late as I was only having 25 day cycles with a LP of 11 but with taking the Vit B6 this cycle, I 'o'ed on CD15 instead of 14 which is what my cycles were like when I was TTC with DS and they were 27 day cycles.

kell - how did you go with testing this morn?? praying it's what we are all hoping for

Reet - hoping AF stays away, so will you be testing on the weekend or do you want to be testing buddies on mon??

possum - hoping that everything is all clear and the m/c is complete. giving you heaps of hugs sweety :hug: :hug:

Hi to everyone else I have missed xoxox

AFM - not much happening here, still feeling tired especially when I've had a good night's sleep and a lil queasy when I wake up. No sign of AF yet!! hmmmm

Just realised i was meant to be wishing Kellbell GOOD LUCK for this morning!! Not Iona! Oops!! haha ill go back and change the name now. Sorry guys.. i must have been tired.. i will do persies later! :)

HI everyone,

Has taken ages to catch up but I know I'll forget somethings so sorry in advance! Just wanted to pop in and say hi and thinking of you all.

Iona & Reet - fingers crossed - hope the witch stays away for you both. Be thinking of you
Damprye - !!! Well, that's been an interesting read :) sorry AF has turned up.
Possum - I hope the mc is coming to and end. I'm so sorry you've been through that again and I'm really sorry about your BF being pg now - it's hard not to think about the what ifs...I hope you won't have to wait too long to start again.
Bons - sorry to hear your EDD is approaching :( hope you can do something nice for yourself on the day
Forshelby, sorry you had such a difficult time with your Mum, sounds like you made the right choice for you by moving away. Hope the bub is snuggling in and making itself comfy and your 12 scan comes around quickly with happy news.
T-hopes, Dory, and all you other lovely ladies - hi and hope you are OK. Welcome to all the newbies since I last dropped in. Hope your stay here is short :)

AFM, finally have dates to start IVF - I'll be starting the OCP mid-August then injections around early Sept so finally we are moving forward. My EDD is approaching at the end of August so Reet I understand your melt down completely - I've had a few lately too and they always seem to catch me out of the blue. I'm glad we'll be starting our cycle when it comes around so it won't feel so hard. All well here, cycle is behaving (though had a short one for the first time ever this month - only 26 days - which has freaked me out) and the DHEA I'm taking is making me veeerrry grumpy - poor DH, at least we can laugh about it (well, sort of!) together. Only a few more months... take care everyone, hope your BFPs are here soon x

hi girls,

well i popped out 2day to drop off some dvd's and the chemist was calling....so yes I picked up some first response early detectors.....................well after picking DS up from daycare I caved and I decided to do 1.

It came back with a :bfp: and a lot darker then the ones I did last month with the chem pregnancy, so can it be third time lucky, here's hoping!!

IONA - OMG!!!! That's awesome! Congratulations....... I am so so pleased for you. Have you been able to make a Dr's appointment to confirm? How many DPO are you? My mind is all a flutter with questions.

Dampyre - ROTFL - my mind was in the gutter too.

Stoked - sorry to hear about your losses but especially the most recent and the ordeal you've been through the past few months. it's really a matter for you, in the abscence of any medical advice that you should NOT be trying. Some Dr's give the advice to wait .... to give your body and soul time to heal... but there doesn't seem to be any hard and fast evidence to support any particular time frame so that's why there's usually so much variability. Some Dr's like to say give your body a break in between pregnancies, it seems just to you can cope with the demands of motherhood and pregnancy. I would recommend that if you can afford it, or if they can be bulk billed that you pursue as much of the testing as you feel you need. Just make sure that when you do try again, that as much as possible you've given yourself time to grieve and heal emotionally, as you already know, pregnancy after m/c is harrowing and you'll need to be strong to get through. Good luck.

AFM - thanks for asking after me. All good here. And I am going to apologise in advance for my ticker being on in this post. I know the forum rules now says its ok to have them on, but usually I don't have mine on, as I respect the journey that you are on. But I wanted to share it with you this time..... it says 30 weeks. I never in my wildest dreams ever dreamt that number would apply to me, at least not after July 2008. I am still not confident that DH and I will bring this baby home, but as always, every day is a step closer to our dream and we are truly blessed to have come this far. Yours in hope..... take care. Sorry for the lack of persies.

yay dory on reaching 30 weeks. not long to go as the next 10 weeks will fly by, rest up and sleep as you will need it xoxo Thanks sweety i'm only 11DPO, I'm not going to go to the dr's for another week or so. I feel like such a twat especially with my chem pregnancy last month and going to see him due to the brown discharge etc.....I know he prob doesn't think that but maybe try and get myself a lil further this time before heading for scans and blood tests

Kellie - Agreed, I will worry forever. My bbs felt sore on and off today, and are still definitely bigger. The nausea was there in the morning, and I actually thought I was going to be sick at one point. I'm happy to stay here as long as you girls are happy to have me. I'm scared of the PAML thread right now.

Reet - My turn to egg you on. I got my BFP 2 days before af was meant to be due. 12 dpo, cd 28. TEST TEST TEST!!! lol.. ok, you really don't have to, I just wanted to give you a bit of a prod. :D Good luck!

Possum - I hope you get good results at your appointment tomorrow. It's hard not to be afraid. I'm not sure if I've said this to you before, but courage isn't the absence of fear, it's doing things despite its presence. Good luck, and let us know how it goes. :)

Iona - I'm going to try to find out my levels, but with this strange doctor who knows if he'll even tell me. I just get a really crap vibe from him, like he's very 'blah' about it. He didn't seem terribly interested in an early scan, or a dating scan, or anything for that matter. I will ask though, and INSIST he tells me. If he won't, I am changing docs. He seemed really dismissive of my previous mc. Thanks for your tales from your pgs, that helps me feel a bit better. I need to spend this week deciding on what kind of care I want so I can march in there and be decisive on Saturday morning! lol. I'm also going to pressure YOU to test. TEST TEST TEST!! Lol.. sounds promising.

Alice - Thanks for your thoughts. 7 more weeks waiting for an u/s seems like forever. Yay for starting IVF treatment!! That's great news! I hope it goes well and you hit the jackpot first go. Good luck, hun. Keep us posted.

AFM, I took the dog for a walk today and had some strange crampy sensations on one side. I didn't like it, but was halfway around the block so had to keep going as it was the same distance either way I went. Those feelings have gone now, and everything seems fine. Still no spotting, nothing worrisome at all, really. I think I'm just overly panicky. I was talking to my fairy-godmother at work (an older female friend, lol) and she was really dismissive of my wanting an early scan too! She kept saying 'it won't make any difference to the outcome'. And while I know this, that doesn't make me want one any less. I told her if I hadn't had an early scan with my first bub, I would have NO pictures at all of her. She just sort of.... trailed off, and then went on to tell me about her daughter's friend who recently mc at 12 weeks. :S Not helpful at all. Oh, and I said I would go public at around 9-10 weeks, I just wanted to get past the stage I mc'd at last time, and she said 'I think you should wait until 12 weeks' as if it's some kind of magic number. So I simply repeated her little line. "it won't make a difference either way as to the outcome no matter WHEN I tell". :D That stopped her in her tracks. Was a little bit more nauseous today, so feeling pretty good about that. But for some reason ever since last night I have this overwhelming sense of fear and worry. Maybe it's delayed reaction? I was so cool and calm about it when I first got my BFP.... now the fear is starting to kick in, I think. I'm trying to just think positively, and remember that every day I'm pregnant is a good day. Although it's hard to be upbeat and positive when you're exhausted all day, but can't sleep properly when you're actually meant to! I don't know what is up with that.

Anyway enough rambling from me.... I hope you're all well, and looking forward to taking some of you (I wish I could take all of you) with me to the PAML thread when I work up the courage. IF I work up the courage. *tremble* :redface:

oh forshelby, I'm going to blame your preggy brain hehehe look about 4 posts above hehehehe

Here goes the selfish post

Well AF showered herself today before i even tested
I hate my body :crying:

Going to go and eat some chocolate to make me feel better

Be back later

Ps CONGRATS IONA THATS FANTASTIC wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months ahead