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Thread: Introduction

  1. #1

    Default Introduction

    I have been reading this forum for weeks lacking the courage and know-how to post. I am 33 years old with two lovely kids (12yo and 2yo) so when I got a BFP this past Feb. everyone just knew I was going to have a wonderful baby in November. Everyone but me. Something in me knew that I wouldn't be so lucky this time. When 12 weeks past with no issues, I finally let myself get excited. My hubby and I bought a few books to prepare our little one for having a baby in the house and started to make plans for our new arrival. On a late Thursday night I woke up in a dead panic for no reason and just knew. I watched the sun rise, made my mom breakfast (she lives with us.. post stroke at 49) and waited until I could call my OB. The nurse thought I was insane to want to come in so I went to the emergency room. They too thought I was out of my tree. Until. Three nurses, two doctors, and 2 dopplers later we were sent to ultrasound. There he was, our little Eli, measuring perfectly 16 weeks along... exactly on the money dates-wise, tiny hands, perfect round head, fingers, toes and no heartbeat.

    I was induced for 6 horrible days and never dialated. My OB sent me to a "specialist" to perform a D&E. It would have been a little less traumatic if he had told me the "specialist" performed late abortions for the most part and I would be the only woman there who had an IUFD as they so kindly called it. It was the most dehumanizing experience of my life thus far. A week later I was in the ER again. This time, I had a huge clot in the ovarian vein that grew into my vena cava vein. I have been on coumadin for 6 weeks now and had to fight tooth and nail to get a thrombophillia panel run. I got a copy of the labwork today. It will be 2 weeks until the hematologist can read it for me. I am trying to keep from obcessing about it, but boy is that hard. I just want to thank you all esp. Flowerchild for the posts I have read... I actually used the one post on what tests to demand to base my tirade requesting all the tests be run.

    So thats my summer in a nutshell. Can I join in your forum?


  2. #2


    CeCe, I am so so sorry for the loss of your precious Eli It is devastating to lose a baby and I'm sorry that you had to go through what you did. Oh course you can join this thread. The girls here are wonderful and will help you through every step of the way.

    I lost my precious, perfect son Cooper last November to a cord accident and we too saw his little body on an u/s with no heartbeat. To hear those words is heartbreaking.

    I hope you can get some answers as to how you lost Eli. Take care babe

  3. #3

    Default thank you!

    Thank you Lynn,

    I got the first step today.. I got the Obs office ( I have since changed to a wonderful doc who is very very proactive) to hand over my labwork. The office mgr. made some comment that I wouldn't understand them anyway. I have been an RN for 13 years, so that kinda urked me a bit.

    I have had scleroderma for 21 years but its been in remission for 13... I just never thought it'd be an issue... I think I was wrong (it happens)

    I tested pos for MTHFR heterozygous, and the viper venom screen came back high at 50. Whats odd is my homocysteine is low. If I was a betting woman.. which I can't be as my hubby is a pastor, my money would be on an autoimmune issue/thrombophillia. I am just perplexed how I could have had two easy no complication pregnancies and then, ****... I am a secondary late miscarrier. another lovely term.

    Thank you so much for your response! I am sorry for your loss as well. Words seem so cheap when it comes to loss so great.


  4. #4

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Surrounded by kookaburra's laughing


    CeCe, welcome, am so sorry for the loss of beautiful Eli. you have come to wonderful place with such wonderful women where we are all here for the same thing, to support each other through our losses.

    i look forward to seeing you around bb and in sharing in Eli's spirit.

  5. #5


    CeCe, while it is hard to hear what may have been the cause of Eli growing her wings, it must also be good to know. I'm glad that you have found a good ob. Is there something that they can do for you when you fall pg again? It is disappointing some of the terms they use to describe our bubs. Sometimes the body can be a wonderful thing and then other times it makes you wonder what the hell is it doing? I too wonder how someone can have a child and then have problems. It just doesn't seem right, does it?

    Take care

  6. #6


    If/when I get pregnant again, I will have to do the lovenox shots... I have been reading so much on the MTHFR mutation and it seems that since I am on the heterozygous end of the spectrum, it didn't cause the loss. But, ya kow, I learned a looong time ago that docs don't carry as much authority as gut instinct sometimes. In a way, I am thankful I got the huge clot... at least, I will have the lovenox after my first late loss instead of 3rd. I know in my heart of hearts that something autoimmue/blood clotting is going on in my body. Now, I just get to wait and see if the doc has any idea what it is. If he doesn't I still won't give up. At the risk of being forward, I heard a song the other day by Natalie Grant.. its a few years old but I had never heard it... called Held. I cried like a fool but it was very very comforting. You should see if you can find it online.


  7. #7

    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Colorado, USA


    CeCe- i am so sorry for your loss of your precious Eli. i wish no one ever had to feel the pain of loosing a baby. i too felt that sinking feeling where one knows that the world is dropping away and that nothing will ever be the same again when they couldn't find Yeti's heartbeat. i am glad you have found bb, the folks here have made such a positive difference in my life these last five months. also knowing what may have caused Eli's death may be of some comfort -- or at least of some sense of control. please take good care of yourself on this painful rollercoaster, and join in whenever it makes you feel better. xxoom

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