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Thread: Thinking of trying again.

  1. #1

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    Default Thinking of trying again.

    Hi, I just realised that there is actually a different section for TTC after loss and TTC after late loss, before I realised this I posted in the TTC after loss sectione even though i actually fit here. I'm not sure if different people frequent different parts so just to be sure I thought I would add a link to my thread.



    http://bellybelly.com.au/forums/tryi...-too-soon.html

  2. #2

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    Hi,
    I think deep down you will know when it is the right time for you to TTC again. I lost Emmanuel at 24wks and wanted to be pregnant straight away. We waited 8wks and it took 6mths till I fell pregnant. Throughout my whole pregnancy I worried that something would go wrong, it's hard not to. We were blessed with a beautiful healthy little girl. I wish you all the best.

    Regards,
    Dianne

  3. #3

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    Hi Kam, I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your daughter, its so devastating to know you've had to go through this.

    My daughter was stillborn in February 2007 and only coming to this website and chatting with the lovely ladies here made me consider trying again. I too had the thoughts of maybe I was disrespecting my daughter, and maybe I wouldn't be able to bond with another child, but i made the decision to go ahead, I talked to so many women, who made me understand that I wouldn't be disrespecting her, she would want me to be happy, she would have wanted a brother or sister, and ultimately when I was lucky enough for a new baby to arrive, I would bond and love it probably more so because of my loss. I had a baby boy in May 2008 and every single day I'm grateful for him, not a day goes by where i don't think of her and I talk to him about her every day. When I ended falling pg I had also made the decision to try and enjoy this next pg as much as I could because thats all the memories I had with Phoebe, yes there were the stresses but you put things in place to cope with those, whether that be scans every week, to accupuncture, to kick charts in the third trimester, you do things that help you and your mind.

    There is lots of literature on subsequent pg after late loss, if you feel they may help I can provide it to you, or if you feel like just talking pm me.

    Ultimately I think the decision is up to, if you feel you are ready then you are but if you feel you need more time to think and reflect then do that.

    I'm not sure if that helps

    take care
    Last edited by klee; May 13th, 2009 at 02:39 PM.

  4. #4

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    Hi KAM

    My little boy was stillborn in March and after 8 weeks and lots of tears and talking we are back TTC again. I have age against me so I feel like I don't have a lot of time to waste but having said that, it was important to me that we honoured the loss of our much wanted son and took the time to grieve him. We will always grieve his loss but we desperately want a living baby to love so hence we are TTC again so quickly. We do have clearance from my OB and TCM to start again, so we know that physically I am ok. Mentally/emotionally it will probably be a different story and even now I don't know how I will be with my next pg. I do want to try to not let the negativity of the first pg to overshadow what should be a happy time, so I am sure that will take a lot of effort on my part each day, as well as a few more counselling sessions!

    I have read lots of stories on pg loss and TTC again. It really is a personal decision. No one can tell you to wait 12 months (which I have heard/read) or anything else. You will know in yourself when the time is right. All I can say is to be gentle on yourself.

  5. #5

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    Hi Kam,
    I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. These things should never happen hun, it's so unfair and the most devastating loss
    I don't think you should feel bad for wanting another baby soon after your loss. I think because we've lost our babies, we so much want to be pg again and hold a little on in our arms. I've lost my precious son in Oct 2008, and about two months later I wanted to be pg again, but couldn't becasue I had to have an op on my fibroid which caused me the m/c in the first place. I am now after the op and good to go again, and will be TTC next month with my FET.
    I wish you all the very best hun, just remember your little girl would only want you to be happy.
    Beata xxx

  6. #6

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    KAM, I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious daughter. Honey, it's OK to want to be pg again soon after your loss. I think after our losses, we just want a healthy baby to hold in our arms. It's such a natural feeling. Your little girl would only want you to be happy hun, so don't think you are disrespectiong her because you want another baby.
    All the very best in TTC hun, I hope you get your BFP soon.
    Beata xxx

  7. #7

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    Sorry, I thought I lost my first post!!!!!!

  8. #8

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    Recommented reading would be great, if you could let me know the name and author of anything that has helped you with the loss of your babies, TTC again and pregnancy after loss, I would appreciate it.

    I was also wondering do you ever know for sure when your ready or does the fear mean there is always uncertainty.

    Thank you for your support and kind words, I know that if I'm going to do this I will need a lot of that along the way. So thank you.

  9. #9

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    Hi Kam

    These are some of the books which have helped me:

    "When a Baby Dies" by Nancy Kohner and Alix Henley (SANDS publication) - very informative with information from doctors and counsellors, and lots of parents' stories.

    "Our Babies Have Died - Stories of Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Neonatal Death" also a SANDS publication (no author given) - this is an Australian book published in 2008 which I have found to be very helpful but it makes me cry so I can only read it in short bursts.

    "A Silent Sorrow - Pregnancy Loss: Guidance and Support for You and Your Family" by Ingrid Kohn and Perry-Lynn Moffitt. I only receive this last week but so far is very interesting reading. This has a section on becoming pg again.

    "Trying Again - A guide to pregnancy after miscarriage, stillbirth and infant loss" by Ann Douglas and John R Sussman. This is the book I am always coming back to at the moment.

    I got all of these books on-line at Capers Bookstore in Yarraville, Vic. I think also take orders over the phone. They were very quick with delivery. They have stacks of other books which might be helpful as well. PM if you need any more information. I hope you find it helpful.

    Take care of yourself,
    Cheryl xo

  10. #10

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    Hi Kam, I am so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter. After I lost my daughter in Oct 08, I wanted to try straight away as well. I think a lot of us feel the same, don't want to disrespect our baby and want others to know that we are not replacing the lost one. But I do think its a natural reaction for most to want a baby straight away, so know you are not alone there. All the very best to you. If you do decide to start trying, please join us in the thread next to this one 'ttc after late loss / stillbirth.' Big hugs.

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