Oh wow CM that is stunning. I didn't know we could do that. Those pickies are beautiful.
Glad to see you are traveling well hun. I wish you all the luck and excitment i can muster for the coming weeks. Hope you have all your dreams come true and you can make us a little jealous too. Enjoy your cold hun, send a little our way. Sorry to all those who like the heat...i am not as nice hot. xx
Cheryl...
we must have posted at the same time. wow...everyone is kind of in limbo, waiting. Well it feels like it. It is so true what you say, i try to see it the same way, that everyone new preg and baby is inspiration and hope renewed. That is a wonderful and very true thing to say. xx Good luck for the coming week. Will be sending you baby dust. xx
Cheryl, I haven't left this thread because I would love nothing more than to see you all get your BFPs! All of you girls deserve it so much, and it really is just a matter of time before someone else shouts out their happy news! Believe me, when I was waiting my turn, I felt exactly the same as you. Jeleaous and upset that it wasn't me with the BFP, but also so happy for whoever was sharing the happy news as I knew it would be me one day. And it was, and so it will be your turn too. You just can't give up that dream and when you share your good news I will be over the moon for you hun. And that goes to all of you beautiful and inspiring ladies in here!! It is a hard road, but sooooooo worth it in the end.
Cmeglles, those pictures are awesome. I remember the autumns we had in Poland while I was growing up, and the colours were very much like that, except we didn't have that beautiful terrain where I grew up! You know, if it hadn't cooled down yesterday afternoon, I would have gladly taken your freezing weather instead! The hot weather here really drove me around the bend :o
Dory, :pray::pray::pray: for the line to get stronger.
Gigi, why are you sorry hun? You actually made me laugh, I love your honesty. And I think it's beautiful that you have your little girl's ashes so close to you. I think the bond we have with our angels is so special and intimate, thay are a part of us forever.
Hello to Aries, blessedatlast and samcougar, I hope you are all well and keeping busy with the love tango!! ha ha, I crack myself up :redface:
B xxx
Thankyou so much my dear sweet BB friends. I am truly humbled by your kind words.
I didn't post last night because I was just so exhausted that I went to sleep. Well so far so good - that line got stronger yesterday morning with FMU....I am quietly more confident.
Gigi1 - I would pee all over myself if it meant a BFP, but somehow when it's BFN's there is an indignity in having to clean up. But still who thinks as an adult there will be "accidents" to clean up. And I love your tattoo. It sounds just perfect. Thanks for the advice -I reckon thats the only way to do it.
cmeglles - And the photos! Stunning - thankyou so much for posting them - I could just gaze at them for ages and then get lost in them. There is so much beauty around, if only we can stop and actually see it. Good luck now you can TCC again. It's always very exciting when AF shows up for the cycle that signals you can try again. Be gentle on yourself the first time. You might be sad, or happy or both or maybe just tired? TCC is a very hard journey too. Bring on the big O - what OPK did you get? I have only visited cold places, and never in the cold. I can't imagine how cold it is for you at the moment.
Beata70 - It's such a hard journey. I've been here before, but wasn't quite this tentative. I totally agree about trying not to look back and look forward. I reckon MS would take your mind off some things! I am actually wondering, if I will get MS. Not so afraid of getting it now. I've had ongoing nausea since 2003, although the past 2 years it's only been intermittent, some days I don't get it! - but there is a difference in the "regular nausea" and "pg nausea "in how it feels. Weird huh? Oh the reason for the ongoing nausea? Some residual effects of a couple of gastro viruses I got in quick succession is the best guess and the cluster of symptoms have been diagnosed as irritable bowel syndrome, after an extensive lot of testing over a number of years. I never thought I could live with long term nausea but I do. So bring on MS I say. LOL let's just see i I am so brave if it does strike! Oh BTW - I hope you've gotten some sleep ! Must be better now the weather in Melb has COOLED down to 16 -20 degrees C or so. Melbourne weather is incomprehensible. The heat must be even harder at 30 weeks. Find a mud pool and wallow ( cause I reckon you'll be feeling uncormfortable) or find some air conditioning! One of my friends did a lot of the sport of fencing in Poland and she tells some amazing stories about her adventures there. But very cold, one night she said she woke up and her hair had frozen! No wonder she had a headahce? Or was it the vodka?
I am so happy for you. You're right, its about not giving up.
Chez67 - I hope those weird symptoms turn into something good. The weird symptoms I was having - I hadn't had them so early before and not in that particular cluster. As much as we rely on our past experiences, every pg is a different experience. I wonder if you'll give in to temptation? I so agree with you though. Somehow if you wait, it's better AND more likely to give a better result and not get a false negative.
Blessedatlast - I hope it is implantation!
Aires, Samcougar - how you doing? Beata70 cracks me up!
I am hoping for lots of BFPs for everyone else.
I have an appointment with the GP this saturday.... it's a wait, but because I am officially "back at work full time now", and have already had 1/2 day off this week, I thought I'd wait til Saturday. Besides its an early morning appointment with less chance of having to wait around for ages before I get in. Have an appointment with the ob on 5 Feb for an early scan.
DH thinks I am crazy because I have tested 3 times now. The last test yesterday morning was a pretty strong result. I reckon I would test again if I still had some tests. Why this madness? It, the BFP, doesn't seem real. I am however gradually getting used to it.
Hey I have a question. I want so much to tell my mum and aunt. But I am worried to. What to do? The reason I don't want to tell is, during all of my previous pg they have badgered me about various things. I want to tell them but anticipate they won't be able to help themselves, and then they will nag( and not just the occasional nag, I mean every time I speak to them the same issues are raised and they say the same thing repeatedly during the conversation, even if they said the same things earlier in the day) and I will become defensive and it will just take the shine off. This is hard enough..... I reckon with my mum, I can actually ask her not to nag and she will try her best. Not sure about my aunt though. I might wait a while and then ante up with my mum ask her not to nag. And then work on my aunt.... there is never a dull moment.
I really wanted to tell my BF, and was going to, then she told me that she was really struggling at the moment with her two recent failed IVF's. I know she'll be happy for me, because we've spoken about it, but now, right now, when she says she's hurting so bad, isn't the time right? I feel like a liar by not saying anything, but I am worried that it might just crush her bruised little spirit even more at the moment. What's a nice thing that I can do to help make her feel special and loved? I was thinking of a pedicure or manicure or something like that - a girls day out.
Dory, you are such a beautiful and thoughtful person!! First of all I am so excited and happy that the line is getting stronger. If your hubby was laughing at you testing 3 times, when I caved in only a week after my embryo transfer, I got the faintest line possible and then tested 3 days in a row after that and it was so nice to see the line come up quicker and darker. I was also sneaking the tests in between the morning ones, so I must have tested at least 10 times!! lol. My DF thought I was going mad but he was getting excited too. So tell your hubby you'll test as many times as you like hun!
As far as telling your mum and aunty, you could tell them the exciting news but also be firm with them about the nagging like you've suggested. My mum is very much like that, I had to tell her of course because she new when I had the transfer!! No keeping that one a secret. She still had her digs about 'don't do this and that, and make sure you do this and that, you know what happeded last itme', la la la la la, but I told her early on to zip it as she was stressing me further unnecessarily and that put a stop to her nagging. Otherwise you could wait until the 12 week scan, but I think when you really want to share your good news it's sooooooo hard to keep it in! I think our mums/aunties even close friends mean the best but sometimes it comes across differently.
As for you friend, maybe it's a good idea to be honest with her as I'm sure she'll be over the moon for you, even though it will hurt I have no doubt. l think she might be disappointed if you keep it a secret. IVF can be a very hard journey, particularly when it takes a few goes at it to get pg, and I imagine it would make you very dishartened every time it wasn't successful. I was so blessed for it to work for me first time both times, I count my lucky stars all the time. I wish her all the best with her journey, and I would be so thrilled if both of you could be pg at the same time!! Has she tried AC with her treatment? I've seen some great results with it.
Well GL with your doc appointment on Saturday, I'm sure it's going to confirm what we all know already!!
PS I had a good giggle about your Polish friend and the vodka, ha ha it probably was!!
Big hugs
B xxx
Hi Dory
Wow! I am quietly confident but also very excited for you for your Dr's appointment on Saturday. And you are so organised to have got a scan appointment already as well!
I agree with Beata - try the direct and firm approach with your mum and Aunt. If they love they should respect you and your feelings. And your friend, well, she will find out anyway so I think if you have a close relationship, and it sounds like you do, go ahead and tell her. I am sure she will be thrilled for you, and hopefully it will give her some hope at the same time. I think the girl's day out having a pedicure sounds like fun!
Oh I am so excited for you :dance: Can't wait to hear the 'official' result.
love Cheryloxo
Hey Ladies
Sorry I have been MIA lately had a bit of a rough patch - just lost a close family friend to breast cancer and had her funeral yesterday. Feeling like a bit of a funeral groupie. Geez - Heaven certainly has received some good ones of late, it just doesn't seem fair.
Dory! Oh my gosh what fantastic news. I am so very very pleased for you and DH. Fingers crossed for those results - I cant wait to hear of another BFP in here!!! YAY :dance:
Beata - I cant believe how quick your time is flying, soon I will be waiting for your BA just like I cant wait to hear Teagz's announcement!!!!!!!!
Cheryl - I hope all of your symptoms are signs of some good news soon honey...... I am waiting with blue crossed fingers for you!!!!! xo
Gigi - You never fail to amaze me at how wise and lovely your words are for each and every one of us.
Cmeglles - Beautiful photos. Good luck with your cycle this month, I hope its short and sweet for you :pray:
Hi to Blessedatlast, Samcougar & anyone I have missed. Not intentional I promise, just tired :wall:
I am cycle day 3 - on to double dose Clomid from Saturday. Hoping to entice those eggies to do their thing!!! I was a week late after my surprise 'O' but had to take Primolut to bring AF on. Cycles are quite strange atm.
My love and thoughts to you all xo
Aries,
So sweet of you hun...i really do get stuck sometimes and have no idea what to say as i know words can do absolutely nothing sometimes. It is not easy for anyone in here. I fumble but thank you for being so lovely.
You are only a couple of days behind me on my cycle. I am cd6 and counting. All my wishes and baby dust for you. I hope everything turns out as planned.
Dory,
I can only help with my experience and opinion....you will know what to do hun and it will be perfect. My SIL/best friend at the time decided not to tell me until 12weeks and let just say our very close friendship has never been the same since. I felt betrayed and lied to everyday. I have not been able to get back to where we were even though i know 'rationally' that she had every right to keep it to herself. Our friendship became false and guarded. There is only so long that you can keep that sort of info without hurting people.
HOWEVER, i have heard of people after having lost a child...keeping it to themselves, telling people different dates, telling people part of the information to help give them space and time to deal with things. I am not sure how i feel about that. I think for us, we will say what month we are due and leave it at that. I am not sure who i will tell and when this time round...when it actually happens that is (the eternal optimist). I have thought about and just not sure yet. I think we will decide that when it happens. Last time we told SIL/BF at 6 weeks and parents at 8 weeks and all others at 10 and 12 weeks.
You will know exactly what to do hun.
Love and wishes
HM xoxo
Hi all firstly thanks for welcoming me into your little group! You all seem like such lovley people and i cant wait to get to know you all better, its a little confusing at the moment.
Sounds like DORY has had some good news, congratulations! I hope your appt at the doctors goes well and that line gets stronger.
I really hope 2010 is the year for all of us!
Iv had my ups and downs latly, its now 2 and half months since our baby girl passed away. Time goes so fast, except for that two weeks wait before your supposed to start testing! Haha
Aunt flow visited me on xmas day, i was hoping i wouldnt see her at all and would fall pregnant that month, nevermind at least my body is working again i guess! So now its one week before im aloud to test and see if this month we were successful. Does anyone know if a pregnancy will show up before your period is due? And can u get your period without ovulating?
I will now endevour to get to know you all and be more personal in my posts :)
Dimples - you are most welcome.
It's debatable about whether the results will be reliable if you test before AF is due. Depends on so many things - the sensitivity of the HPT (home preg test) you use - the packaging will usually tell you what level of hcG the test can detect, most seem to be around 25 but some are 10 ( I don't know the units/measures moL or something), whether you use first morning urine ( FMU), when the HcG is said to be stronger, whether you use the test properly ( and don't pee where you shouldn't).
If you test early in my experience you are more than likely to get a false negative, which is pretty disheartening and starts a cycle of compulsive testing. But if you wait a little, and I know that's hard but worth it not to get the disappointment of a bfn, then you are more likely to get a BFP. But sweetie - you do what feels right for you.
I am sorry you didn't get your BFP for christmas - maybe this cycle?
Gigi1 and Chez and Beata70 - your words of hard earnt wisdom mean a lot to me. Thankyou for helping me stay the course.
I know how it feels when you felt lied to, as I have felt that, but then I try to remember, people have their reasons for not sharing and I am not entitled to know everything! Even if I want to......
I will tell my BF sooner rather than later, our friendship, particularly our shared experiences deserves that. I am just so worried about hurting her. But she'll be hurting irrespective. My heart just breaks for her though.
My BF has been going to AC for a while and had two spontaneous pgs in quick succession after she started ( she has a whole of life plan - eating, herbs/TCM, message, reduction of stress, AC) and no luck in IVF. She is getting some advice at the moment about further testing for Natural Killer Cells and some other tests.
Gigi1 - I am sorry that your friendship hasn't recovered. I have a friendship like that, it hasn't recovered but different to you I am not pursuing that friendship at all. It's toxic to me now that friendship. Sad but it's what I need. Thankyou for sharing. It's so hard to know what to do. I hope you are faced with this dilemma sooner rather than later..... hugs. Also I agree - you always seem to have the right words, even if you don't think you do. Keep it up.
Aries - I am so sorry for the death of your friend to breast cancer. Were you ok at the funeral? it must have been very hard. I went to a GF mum's funeral, about 3 weeks after Nicholas m/c but whilst still pg with Sophie. It was pretty hard during the service, but later at the wake, it was really good to catch up with my GF and her family. My GF and I love to eat, and so we had a good time eating "naughties" and talking. Hope your symptoms settle down soon and it's all back on track soon.
Beata70 - my friend is hilarious and totally in love with Poland. She tells so many fun stories and most involve vodka. I don't know much about Poland, but I spent some time in Detroit in 2000 around the time of "fat tuesday". It was awesome. Even though I only experienced it once, I really loved "fat tuesday" and I miss it. Do you celebrate it? And I say "fat tuesday" because I can't spell the correct term/words and it's also what the detroiters called it. I might see if I can find a polish bakery or something and enjoy fat tuesday again because its coming up.
Samcougar, Blessedatlast, Teagz, Cmeggles - hiya.
Guess what? Today is friday and the end of my first week as officially returned to work full time. It hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. How about that?
Have a good weekend. I am going to an 18th birthday party - I can not believe I know someone ( who is not a relative) who is 18. And bless her, she doesn't drink. Wish I hadn't of killed so many precious brain cells in my youth by drinking. Now I actually feel old.... ah who cares.
Hi all
Dimples- I have read that you can get your period without ovulating, and you can even have an LH surge and not ovulate and that BBTs are one of the best ways to make sure.
For me,as I am being totally neurotic, and this being the first cycle I actually care about I am measuring both. I have a OPK that measures the LH surge and will be doing BBTs to make sure I am ovulating. My loss was just over 2 months ago as well, so I am not sure if my cycles have returned completely to normal--although it appears so.
So I read an interesting article yest. about dealing with friends who are pregnant when you have had losses, or are having a difficult time TTC. It has made for a new perspective on how I am dealing with 2 friends of mine who are pregnant, I don't know how much of it I bleieve or want to follow, but I thought you might be interested. The pregnancy of friends is making me depressed - CNN.com
Dory keep us updated about your BF, and mum and aunt.
Aries- so sorry to hear about your friend. My fingers are crossed for you!
Chez67, Teagz,blessedatlast, beata70, Gigi1--hi
To answer a few questions. I am super excited about TTC. I have to keep reminding myself that we only have a 25% chance every month, but it is hard to ignore. I am even looking at the calendar and thinking ok if we get pregnant then I get to take a pregnancy test on this day, and I will be x weeks by this date etc. Just thinking about having children in our near future fills me with such joy and hope it is kind of addictive even when I am scared. So how do I feel....hmmm absolutely terrified but hopeful, and it is really nice to have hope. The OPK I bought is just a 20 strip thing where you pee in a cup and it tells you if you have an LH surge or not. I thought I'd give it a try. I think I am not going to worry the DH about the results and BBTs etc too much. I'd rather just plan some romantic nights and not give him extra stress.
Short note today-I am off to a meeting at work!
take care all!!!
cmegelles - i was pretty excited about TCC too! It's a tumultous journey with a desired outcome. just don't get too lost in the quest for the outcome, and remember to celebrate the beauty that is yours and DH relationship. BIG HUGS coming your way from Oz.
Well back from the GP. Good news - Dr also got a BFP on a urine test for hCg. So that's good. GP didn't want to order bloods given I have an app with the ob so soon. I am happy enough with that. I am surprised how much more settled I am after the Dr got the same result. I suppose it makes me confident that I am not hallucinating.
The other really good news, is I got a normal result in the Glucose Tolerance Test, and thyroid function test, my iron and haemoglobin levels are right up and all the other tests were within normal limits, except one of the billirubins. I don't know what this is, so am doing to Dr Google it, to start to find out some more info. I didn't see that particular result until I got home and now don't have the chance to ask the GP. Don't worry Dr Google doesn't frighten me anymore. It did once and I got into a real panic, but I was able to rationally talk myself down. I take it all with a grain of salt now, but I also try and look at the academic/hospital sites and not just random sites.
Anyway, I always say soo much. Sorry. I am off to an 18th birthday party - will be a dry one for me! But the birthday girl doesn't actually drink, so there won't be much pressure on, and we can be "wouzers" together.
Take care my petals.
YAY! Dory this is wonderful news. So wonderful that you are embracing this. I am in total awe. So so proud for you. This is very very exciting.
Well done on the GTT. I have no idea where i stand with that anymore...hopefully still ok. I have always been fine but eating so much damn sugar lately...not good.
I think Billirubins are the left over dead red blood cells or something aren't they? It has something to do with jaundice and stuff like that. Hope google has some answers for you.
Cmeggles- It is so good that you are so excited hun...hope it happens quickly. Baby dust to you hun.
Dimples- I am sorry hun, you didn't get your xmas wish then and there...hope this month is the month. Good luck and baby dust.
AFM- Sorry to just rant on about me now. Need to Vent.
Just spent the afternoon writing out invites to my SIL baby shower. Oh boy this will be a hard day. It is the week before when DD died a year ago. The very last thing i want to be doing. If I am not pregnant....i might have to have a few. There will be 2-3 heavily pregnant woman there and 8 BFing babies. I will be utterly surrounded. One of them will be the age that DD would have been if everything turned out ok. Argh...thrilled for them but dreading it for me. I am just a bit stuck on the the fact it has been ten years of infertility for me. Then my baby arrives but dies. I am really pee'd off with that.
You know what the conversation was last night?(at my SIL's place with all the bellies and babies)...What not to name your baby or it will die or be difficult. I couldn't believe it. I get myself into these situations you see. I try my utmost to include myself and get involved and then they think it is ok to say anything and everything because i am 'fine'. But seriously....then i want to run and i feel like i can't do anythign because i have essentially asked for it. I can't complain...I started the conversation. I just didn't plan on it ending up there.
MAN! Glad that is off my chest.
I have to go and finish these envelopes. Grrrr.
Love to all and hope you are all traveling well.
HM xoxo
Hi ladies
Gigi1 - OMG! I can't believe that there were women actually having a conversation about what baby names will result in the baby dying. WHO are these people? And how completely insensitive of them to even have such a ridiculous conversation. Like you somehow brought on your baby's death because of the name you chose? How dumb are these people? Sorry... I am just so angry and annoyed that people can be so stupid by believing these things and insensitive around others who have had a loss. I am sending you a huge number of cyberhugs :hug: to get you through this. With your feeling about SIL no longer being your BF, is there any way you can try to remove yourself from her life for the weeks leading up to your baby's angel-versary? I wish there was some way I could make it all better for you hun. Take care and be kind to yourself. :hug:
Dory - Official congratulations to you :dance: That is great news. I wish you all the best for a H&H next 8 months. :hug: And great news on the GTT, iron levels etc. I am so glad to hear that you are feeling very calm about this pg.
Dimples - yes, you definitely can have a period without ovulating. Most women have an occasional anovulatory cycle without even realising it. Some women who have one dodgy ovary (which I think is me) will routinely have a cycle without ovulation. Have you considered getting a fertility monitor which tests both LH and estrogen which can give you a better indication of what is going on with your cycles? I am using a ClearBlue monitor and have found it is heaps better than the OPKs as I often couldn't tell whether the line was dark enough or not, or sometimes I wouldn't get a line at all.
Aries - sorry to hear about the loss of your friend's mum to breast cancer. It seems to touch everyone in someway and is just so sad. On a brighter note, good luck with the extra dose of clomid. I hope you catch that eggie this cycle!
cmeglles - I too try to plan the romantic nights and not let DH know that sometimes it is more about timing than anything else. It seems to keep him happier, although I know in the back of his mind he knows that I am testing and tracking each day, but I think not talking about it somehow makes it easier for him. We have to look after the poor dears don't we? :lol:
AFM, I gave in a did a HPT yesterday morning and I wasn't surprised to get a BFN on CD21. I had AF like symptoms yesterday so I am guessing that she will visit tomorrow. I am a little disappointed but for me the wait is not over until AF actually arrives.
Anyway, time to wake DH up for breakfast.
Take care and babydust to all
oxo
Gigi! - I am with Chez. These people have no insight or understanding, like so many out there. You are such a strong woman for being involved and participating in your SIL shower. But hey, if as it draws closer you don't want to go because of how you are feeling, then don't go.
I had the same dilemma recently with my nephew's partners baby shower. I was told they were pg not long after Amelia was born in Feb 09. It was devastating at the time. When I got the invite in the mail, it crushed me, scared me but I was also happy to have been invited. I thought about it a while and decided to go. It was hard, not only for my own demons, but once I got there, the only person I knew was my nephew's partner ( although thank god my nephew was lurking in the house) and no one else seemed interested in talking to me when I tried to start up a conversation.
The whole day was actually pretty tough, but I surprised myself by not cracking up and actually getting through it. There were a few times when my thoughts ran away with me, but I got them under control. I had promised myself I would leave if it was too much. But there was only one pg woman and no babies, only toddlers and older kids. Unless you've walked a journey like ours, people just don't understand how hard it is to even contemplate going to a baby shower. I am not sure if I could have contemplated going in the circumstances you are describing..... that's tough.
One of the reasons I decided to go was thinking about how I might feel in the future at not having gone, and having a regret that I didn't even try. The other reasons was that I had hoped to see my niece and her two kids ( my other great niece and great nephew) but they weren't there because of some all in family argument with my nephew and his partner.
I found out later, that my nephew's partner - at all of 19 years old - agonised over whether to invite me and even called my mum to ask her about it. Pretty amazing huh? And now they have asked me to be the godmother to my "great niece" ( but again checking in with my mum to see what she thought).
I am sorry that you had to endure such an inappropriate conversation. I would like to come and shake them by the shoulders until their teeth fall out, and poke them with pins.
But violence aside, can you promise me to do what you think is right by you and only you? You are too precious, and by that I mean both valuable and vulnerable, to be exposing yourself to too much hurt. It's you and your feelings that is important.
BTW - you are right about billirubin, its a by product of the breakdown of red blood cells, and specifically from the breakdown of heme. Everyone has some excreted in their urine, which contributes to its colour. The liver and bile ducts are involved, but I can't remember with any great detail how its all connected. Anyway, too much billirubin can result in jaundice of the skin and eyes. I don't have that.
Dr Google didn't scare me either, found some good pathology sites that provided good basic information and not sensationalist information. End result? I'll ask the Dr and maybe the test can be rerun. It could be indicative of something else or just variations in either my natural biology, the testing methods of the pathology lab. It's all so variable.
Chez - I also agree with you about looking after your man, by not talking about your cycle. Sometimes irgnorance is bliss. It would be nice if we could separate ourselves from it too, but it's too much a part of the outcome we are hoping for to be able to do that. Luckily we women can do more than 1 thing at a time. I am sorry for your BFN, but as you say not over til AF shows up. ( And in my desperation, I always think that AF is implantation bleeding and so do a HPT during AF anyway).
Good luck girls, have a nice day and as Chez said - lots of baby dust to you all.
Hi beautiful friends,
Thank you for you kind words or support and a little madness thrown in there. I really needed that.
The conversation started from one, a speech therapist friend saying that name starting with a certain letter often have difficult behaviour and learning issues. Then my pregnant SIL (well they are both preg) who is a nurse at the children's hospital said that they have a data base of names and a lot of the same ones mentioned by the other friend, get cancer and die. I was a bit shocked and became worried about which names they were and whether or not this phenomenon is for real. I couldn't believe it.
I am trying my hardest to be the best person i can be. Boy that is hard sometimes.
Chez, Oh i hope AF holds off for you and you get a surprise and your dreams come true. I wish i could remove myself from their lives. I may not stay for the whole baby shower, see how i go. Both of my SIL are pregnant and i am trying not to have regrets. But sometimes i get so mad and trapped. My baby is losing significance i guess. They all have live babies, big bellies and unshattered dreams. I don't know what to do with that other than give time and love to them.
Dory, It is still sinking in hun, that you are pregnant with a beautiful baby. It is just so cool. You brave girl for tackling the baby shower as you did. I am angry about my situation a bit. In a normal world i would be like a pig in mud with the baby shower and really going to a lot of effort. I feel cheated that it makes me sad now. I thought i would put together a playlist of music for the day...but ended up in tears and thought no this won't help me on the day. I never thought i would be in a position of such selfishness. Argh! I have dreamed of giving baby showers...and having my own. I am not sure that i want one for myself anymore. I don't know how i feel about that. I am sad that beautiful things have become a chore for me. Give me strength.
See ya guys. Baby dust to all.
Love HM xoox
Hi Everyone :)
Been a while since I have posted.. I will do some persies but if I miss you please don't hold it against me :lol:
Aries - So sorry for the loss of your friend.. How awful. Hope you are looking after yourself
Dory - Again a big congratulations!!! Look after yourself and enjoy.. I always have raised bilirubin.. And when I drink my eyes do go a bit jaundiced.. Doesn't affect my life at all though..
Gigi1- I admire your strength with the baby shower thing.. I am too bitter and twisted to be able to be able to handle that.. I still nearly cry when I walk past the baby section at Target!! And with the 'What not to name your baby' conversation Yuk.. What an awful convo to have to hear!! I understand that they think you're fine.. I do that too then end up hearing conversations about such and such that neglects her kids or uses abortion for contraception.. Makes me so angry..
cmeglles - Good luck with TTC.. a 25% chance is better than no chance at all.. Try and have fun doing it.. I have been ;)
Chez67 - Sorry about BFN but as you say until AF arrives there is still hope..
I know I have missed someone, if I have forgive me :)..
AFM well.. I have a teeny tiny bit of hope (Be prepared for TMI..) As I said in my last post I had started bleeding again.. It was only for 4 days and VERY light.. Since then I have had quite thick CM with a tinge of brown.. I had this when I was pregnant with the twins (but didn't yet know).. The only reason I am not letting myself get too excited is because the timing seems all wrong.. I am just glad to not have a 'period' like bleed and being able to DTD without worrying bout the mess (sorry TMI ;)) We have been making the most of it although I am the same as many of you and don't tell him anything about where I am in my cycle.. I think if I said 'Quick I might be ovulating" he might feel a bit pressured.. Although after we DTD yesterday I refused to get up straight away (it was a spontaneous day one :)) in case the swimmers 'fell out' PMSL.. Keep fingers crossed for me that even if I am not UTD this may be the beginning of my cycle sorting itself out!! Also I have been having mood swings worse than usual... Hmmm...... Am trying to find the happy medium between staying positive and not getting too excited!!
Teagz - Are you still around??
Aries- how are you doing hun? Hope you are feeling ok.
Blessedatlast- I know, i get quite mad that i feel i need to be nice all the time. I want to just bite somedays. It is not easy hun. I have decided to tell my SIL that i will stay as long as i can. I will do what i can to arrange organise, cook etc and i won't stick around for the whole thing. I hope that is met with understanding. Fingers crossed. My fingers are crossed for you too hun. I hope your teeny tiny glimmer of hope is everything you dream. i hope you are pregnant and at the very least...getting on track with the cycle. Enjoy your spontaneity.
I wrote on the bottom of the rough email to collect addresses that if anyone was breast feeding, they were welcome to bring their baby a long. I just didn't think and my SIl pointed out that saying that would offend some people. Of course it would...i felt dreadful. I didn't send it luckily. But for some reason that mistake really hit me, took the wind out of me that i wasn;t considering everyone. I just didn't think it through and made a mistake. I know it sounds silly, but every now and then something just happens and it knocks me for six for no big reason. Never mind.
Love to all
We have ov coming up i the next few days and we are also heading to the coast for a couple of days. I have no desire to dtd at mum and dads so we might just drive back for a night. LOL. I know, it is just a mood killer in your parents house. I just can't do it. I tell hubby, otherwise we just might miss it each month. I hear what you mean though. It does increase pressure. I still have the romantic idea that we are consciously creating life together...bit of a hippy. xx We have tried to not talk about it and then i feel too pressured...can't win hey!
Love to all xx