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~ Happy 8 month birthday little Cooper ~
Watch over your Mummy and Daddy from up there in the stars :hug:
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Nat - We are just gonna try these fertility drugs first and then do IVF as a last resort, I would love to start it yesterday but it is just so expensive that we feel we need to exhaust all other options first. We are still going ahead with our initial appointment on Tuesday but it all really depends on things such as whether we have to pre-pay and whether it is covered under the Medicare safety-net and so on. So on Tuesday when we find out all of those things we will be able to make an educated decision about whether to delay IVF or not. I hope your dr is right and the meds combined with IVF is just what you need to get that bubba in your arms. It is a hard one to decide whether to TTC at certain times, I personally have no self control and always come up with a reason to rather than not to LOL. You guys will make the right decision for yourselves and if you feel confident about the care you could receive over there then it makes the decision a little easier.
Decisions are so darn hard arent they :doh:
Take care, Mel :hug:
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howdy everyone.
lynn- happy eighth month birthday to Cooper and hugs to you.
it's raining cats and dogs here, i had to abandon wood chopping and come inside. i've been thinking about working full time again, just to keep my mind off of Yeti and to save up a bit in case. i think i've gotten used to two extra days off a week though. :redface:
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Hi guys,
It is very quiet in here lately. I hope everyone is well.
Dream - Belly is growing too quick, but it isn't really baby, I think it's just food, lol. How exciting your new plan sounds. Good luck with your appointment, I hope you work something out. And Paris would be such a nice place to make a baby :D
Mel - Good Luck with your appointment tomorrow. Let us all know how you go.
Auntie M - Abaondon the wood chopping?? I think you should, lol. It is hard to decide about working isn't it? It is good on one hand as it does keep you busy and time does seem to go faster. Good luck with whatever you decide.
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Hi there all,
Aunty M - First things first wood chopping!!!!! My God what a woman. AS for work well, its a tough one but you do get use to having time for yourself but it also helps keep you mind active.....somedays I think I need to go back to work just for that! Its a tough one.
Mel - Good luck with your appointment, I guess its the best way to make a decision, be informed.....I cant remember what the cost were for IVF but I do know that any cost out of pocket and OUT of hospital are coved by medicare and go towards the safety net. And you never know you may need just a little something to get it all going!
As for us we made a decision that we will do IVF when we get back, DH said he wants me to relax and enjoy the trip with out having to worry....and yes he has a good point I would worry the whole time, even if I said im not going to. And with IVF we get a fully controlled enviorment which will help the the whole head thing!:rolleyes:
Bailey - Im sure its all baby......you eating? Do we like food????:lol: As long as we get what we want who cares! Paris would be lovley but maybe just practice I have to remember we are sharing with DS and you know how big the rooms are in Paris!!!
Lynn - Hope your feeling better, we need to do lunch again I think! See Bailey we dont eat either.
Well DS is still not well so I will be off think we might need to get his ears checked....maybe a visit to medical centre. So keep well and talk soon.
Luv Natxxx
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Dream - Lol, yep I forgot about poor DS and those tiny rooms in Paris. Hmmm, maybe not!:lol: It could scar him for life.
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hey all,
Just a quick one from me, I've got the flu & I've got 2 kids home sick with it as well (might get a call from school to pick up one of the others too I think)
So everyone here is feeling pretty YUK!
Hope all are well, I'll try & pop back in later to do some personals!
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mel - good luck today
lynn - how are you? was thinking of you on saturday, just couldn't access the computer to let you know my thoughts were with you, dh, cooper and *hope*
nat - lol on the paris rooms, agree with bailey there, poor ds. good that you've decided on ivf, hopefully you'll be able to enjoy the trip a little more, bit of practicing never hurt, you never know!
bailey - glad to hear you're growing well, bubs ticker is speeding along now
auntie m - wood chopping, huh?!, dp is going to do some next weekend with fil, i wouldn't even have considered helping, not going to let him on to what the women in colorado do lol.
deb - how are you and col?
me - i'm cranky again, but whats new. had a friends 30th which was interesting, dp and I fought because he said i am going to lose friends with how i'm acting, my response if people can't come talk to me, i'm not going to talk to them, I'm me and if they can't start a conversation with me because of what has happened then thats their problem not mine and the other thing I'm not going to sit and have a conversation with someone who's saying how they couldn't handle one child let alone twins, I'd love to have the chance to handle one. anyway dp is much to nice, one of the guys had a bub a month before us and he was telling dp about his lack of sleep and how scared he was the first time bubs got sick, dp didn't say anything just sort of nodding along. mind you this is the first time he has seen any of these guys since it all happened, and none of them said anything to him. anyway you all know what its like. also had a fight with my sister, things have changed now, its all a bit funny.
apart from that accupuncturist decided to start me on some fertility herbs, liquid and tablets, so i'm a little like mel, rattling as I walk, apparently some fs created them for mediherb so sounds worth giving a go. amidst all the grumpiness dp made me laugh, he has a habit of using my water glass, the other day i just so happened to leave the one that i'd mixed my herbs in and he used it and started cursing, yelling out is that your uterus water, i said yeah, now he keeps saying his uterus feels stronger lol.
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sorry jlk hope you feel better soon
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Thank you to everyone for thinking of me and Coop on Saturday. It was a tough day. Do they get any easier?!?!?!?! The morning I spent doing all the 'what ifs' and wondering what he would be doing and looking like. Then I went and bought his flowers (white oriental lillies). I think it was Klee that said that these flowers are supposed to be the smell of an angel. I couldn't believe it when I read that because I have always loved pink oriential lillies but when we had to choose a flower for Cooper I chose the white ones because I think white is pure and innocent. Then to read that they are the smell of an angel brought a tear but also a smile.
Klee - LOL! Your DP is funny! I hope his uterus is going good today! I know your feelings babe :hug: I feel the same. I am at the point that I am saying if people choose to ignore Cooper, then I ignore them. If they can't acknowledge my child, then I don't acknowledge theirs. I know this might sound harsh but I too am sick of people whinging to me about how hard life is with getting home from work, bathing kids, feeding kids, putting them to bed and then have no time to themselves. I wish for a life like that! Good luck with the herbs! I am a big believer of trying everything! I tried everything that I could except the herbs because my fs said that I shouldn't mix my meds with herbs. How are you find the acupuncture?
Jo - I hope you and the kids are feeling better soon :hug:
Nat - I am doing ok. Better today. Just had a rough few days.......you know how it is. I love a plan! I love your plan! I am feeling so positive for you!!! DH is right, go and enjoy your holiday, eat heaps, drink heaps, see heaps and have the best time and then when you come back you can concentrate on :bd: I have a really really good feeling about this. I hope DS is ok.
Mel - good luck today babe :hugs: It is a great positive step trying Clomid and I hope so much that this is all you need to kick start your body. I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Let us know how you go.
Auntie M - you gave me a great picture in my head of you wood chopping! I don't think I have ever chopped wood. I think I would chop my foot off or something! Making the decision to go back to work is a tough one and one that only you can make. I know for me making the decision to go back part time was a big one. I am glad that I am back, like you said, it keeps my mind off things. I love having 2 days at home though during the day to do all the house stuff, dr stuff and also I need my crazy 'me' time ;)
Haven't seen Kristy or Kat around much lately - hope you are both ok :hug:
Well Spring moved house over the weekend and she doesn't have internet connect at the moment but she says hi.
I hope everyone has a good week!
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Hey Klee, I am sorry to hear about the party and that you and DP had an argument (god DH and I have many of those lately, he is such a grumpy bum and of course nothing to do with me :rolleyes:). I think us girls are just different to the men, they are more peace-keepers than us and I am more like you (as you know) I find it hard to understand how I should have to be the one to make all the effort, after everything we have been through they should at least try. One thing I have found is that my confidence was sent for a 6 when I had Nicholas and it was extremely hard in the early days to make any type of "move" in terms of contacting people and actually because of that reason there are people I have not had contact with since his funeral. Also I agree with you, you shouldnt have to sit around a listen to others whinge about their children at all but especially without any acknowledgement on their part of Phoebe. I think people are afraid and I really do see it as their problem, and unfortunately your DP may be right and you may end up losing them as friends (or at least as close a friend as they were iykwim) but if they can be there for you at the time you need them most then maybe acquitance is a more appropriate term than friend anyway. I dont know if that makes sense but this is just the conclusion I have come to, I believe that with everything that we have all been through we have grown as people, it probably doesnt feel that way but we have, we have grown and changed and although we are the same people outside we are different in, and unfortunately that change sometimes means we dont have the same things in common with people that we once did. My DH and your DP are very similar in the way they are when people talk about their babies, he just kinda goes along with the convo nodded and saying oh right but deep down he is hurting but just doesnt want the argument.
LOL @ him drinking your uterus water, am I allowed to rib about that or is it secret? :cryinglaugh:
OK I think none of that makes sense but I dont have time to go back and read over so I will leave it - and prob read back lately and be horrified and what crap I can talk!
Before I go - saw FS this morning, he has put me on Clomid starting today. So exciting about this month now, but also wondering how big the fall will be when AF arrives next month but for now I just have to roll with it. Hopefully your uterus water and my meds will make us both fall this cycle, and we are still only a couple of days out from each other too :D
Have a good day (and also everyone else hello have a good day).
Love Mel
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Oh hey Lynn we posted at same time - running back to work from break now so will read your post later. Hope you are ok :hug:
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Mel - :hug: your post to Klee is so true on so many levels. Words of wisdom. I think we all feel like this and it is good to know we are 'normal'. Thanks Mel :hugs:
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Hi Girls,
Bailey - Dont want to do that to the poor child, I think he has enough to deal with having me as a mum!lol
Lynn - Glad to hear things are looking up a bit. I love that about the lilys....they are my most favourite flowers and to know that they smell like angels just makes them that even more special.
Jo - I hope your feeling better soon, it is just so much harder caring for the kids when you feel so sick to. I hope the kids are better soon and then you can get some rest.
Klee - I truly believe that acupuncture helps no matter what, I also have it done and trust me I will be having lots before during and after IVF, but as Lynn said some FS wont let you take the herbs while doing certain meds. Mine allows Acpunt. but no herbs. I think before starting is such a great idea. I love the "uterus water" comment, gave me a good laugh!:lol: Im sorry that the party was tough, these things can be a bit like that and I think what Lynn and Mel said I have to agree with.
Mel - Im glad to hear that you are starting on clomid, as Deb said to me, this time she took it and now look at her! I truly hope that you get a big positive soon.xxx :hug:
Spring - I hope the move went smoothly and you can start to settle into your new home and yes im going to be very positive here and you can tell me to nick off BUT a new home and a new baby to bring to it. xxxxx
Hi to Deb, tommysmum, kristy, kat and anyone else who I missed.
Well DS is still sick but I think on the mend, me I need a little sleep but I no complain. So I will be off and make a cup of coffee very black and strong! so hope you all have a wonderful week.
Luv Nat xxx
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thanks mel, lynn, nat, its so good to have you wonderful ladies here to bounce these views off, cause then i kind of know i am sane, even if everybody else thinks I'm not. i just have to add one thing, dp said to me why should i say something and start an argument and have this guy feel like crap for an hour or two, my response was easy, so what if he has to feel like that for an hour or two we're gonna feel like this the rest of our lives. he shut up after that.
mel, rib away, he can be a bit precious sometimes, as can all men, I started it already commenting to him yesterday that it looks like his uterus is getting stronger as he's starting to look like arnold schwarzanegger in Junior lol. clomid might be all you need, am praying it is for you. are they going to do those scans to check the follies etc like they did with deb and lynn?
lynn - it wasn't just referring to white oriental lillies, it just said lillies, so i take it to mean all of them. sorry you had a few hard days, i hope you are doing okay.
nat - sorry to hear ds is sick, bring on that strong black.
the accupuncture is fantastic, don't know what i did without it, the lady is wonderful, she makes me laugh which is what i need. she said my chi is stagnant again, i feel once it gets flowing is when i will fall. the herbs were created by a lady who she specialises in fertility management. going to post in the other post to see if anyone knows anything on her, or have successfully used them so will see how i go. i have to start with this positive thinking. although i honestly think i am only just starting to deal with whats happened.....
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i'm back!!!!!
<P><FONT face="Century Gothic" color=blue size=4>Hello out there beautiful ladies!!!!!!</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT face="Century Gothic" color=darkslateblue size=3>Hi everyone, i am back in action!! I had a little relapse of depression around the 18th..... Zahra would have been 8 months old. <IMG alt=0 src="https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/images/smilies/sad.gif" border=0 smilieid="106"> So i had the week off work, which means no belly belly. My boss is looking into this thing where she can buy me a lap top and take the money out of my salary before tax or something... she knows how important this all is (comp = belly belly.... belly belly = sane katti) , so she is looking into it. As usual, i have lots to say, so take a seat and relax, or skip down until im done...</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT face="Century Gothic" color=red>First things first, the witch dropped by as scheduled with my original cycle, so my mid month bleed is nothing anymore... my cycle seems spot on. I saw my dr for the results of my u/s, my uteris is completely normal!!!! First 100% normal u/s i have ever had!! Pity there was no normal baby in there, but its a start. My body has already started allowing eggs through (after only 1 week off the pill) i had 8 eggs in one tube and 7 in the other. A good sign. I had a good chat with my dr. i will only be seeing him for the intitial appts. then i will have an early referel to an ob on the gold coast. I will be going to Southport hospital. My dr and i have decided i will be booked in for a c section. For a few reasons... i have already had one, so the risk is there "apparently" for the scar to break open during labour. I dont care how slim the chances are, i aint taking that risk!!!!!!!!!!!!! Plus i will have the reassurance of a date i will be booked in.. (early to avoid labour coming on) and so it won't be a one hour drive while i am in labour! I had a good talk with my doc. he is really caring, he has seen me through all my losses and he understands why i have to try again and what precautions i will want to take.</FONT></P>
<P><FONT face="Century Gothic" color=#ff0000>So physically i am fine and i have the all clear to try AGAIN ( lucky we already started!!)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT face="Century Gothic" color=#ff0000> <FONT color=black>Mentally and emotionally i have been having a bit of trouble. It really hit me last week how much i miss Zahra. My arms feel so empty with out her. Some days i just cant stop crying. I wake up and shes the first thing i think about, and that she isn't here. If i try to hold the tears back i cant function and if i start to let them out, they just dont stop. I am so lucky with work.. last monday i was having one of the mornings when i couldn't stop crying. (well it had been going on all weekend) I ended up trying to go to work and my boss took one look at me and said, you dont need to be here, go home come back when you can. So i spent the week being sad and shane and i lit our candles and looked through our precious mementos and remembered her for a bit. I admire Shane, he seems like he has reached a point where he can think of her watching over us and be happy with that. He knows he cant change what happened and he has accepted it. He takes her with him in his heart everywhere. I am still at the stage where if i think of her too much , i get this hollow feeling in my belly and this emptiness in my arms and i just cry. I still have this feeling that when i get pregnant again it will be with the spirit of one of my angel babies. Is it wrong to want that? i have had a few tarot readings before i ever tried to have babies and one lady said i would have trouble but that eventually i will have a boy and a girl, another lady said i would have twins, a boy and a girl but i would loose one. Then i recently had a tarot reading and the lady said i have two baby spirits around me, a boy and a girl and they are waiting to come to me. She said my mis carrage was a different spirit who has chosen another path. i am abit of a hippie alternative type who likes to beleive in things like this, especially when i had the first two readings before any trouble had happened. I really do want to believe that their spirits are up where ever they are preparing to be with me in life. But then if i beleive this, does that mean i am not acknowledging my angels? Sorry if this is offensive to anyone, but these are thoughts i have and i'd like to know if anyone else has these same sorts of thoughts. I feel like part of my healing will be to actually have a baby. I know it isn;t going to make everything perfect, but im hoping it will end this empty feeling i have where a child should be, and then maybe i can greive differently for my angels. </FONT></FONT></P>
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<P><FONT face="Century Gothic" color=#000000>Ok one more big bit*h then i am out of here... MY FAMILY SUX </FONT></P>
<P><FONT face="Century Gothic" color=#000000>DH and i dont really mesh well with my side of the family, before our trouble and after. Especially after. I have mentioned before our little rift with my sister at her bday party,(In April we went to bris for dinner, were surrounded by babies and hasseled for not holding them, we disapeared into the bar and watched some football and missed the bday cake, we got into trouble and my husband made a comment that no one cared enough to see how we were and to even came to tell us the cake was on and that offeneded my sisters FIL, turned into a huge fight) Well now as her new baby is due around xmas she had decided to have christmas at her house, and my DH isn;t invited. He is no longer welcome in her home because he offended her FIL. EVER. In one breath my sister tells me its terrible what has happened and im sure it takes its toll on us, but it is no excuse for our behaviour that night. We cant always play the victims. Why did we bother driving 2 hours to go watch football? WELL, in hind sight we probably shouldn't have gone. I wasn't expecting so many babies to be there ( friends of my sisters ) and we just got a shock when we walked in, 2 new borns, 2 toddlers, 5 older kids, prams everywhere, and then dinner time came and my dad had the nerve to look around to me and say "It's nice to be able to just sit here and enjoy my meal and not have to worry about feeding kids first like all of them" That was it for me. And we are being blamed because we found it uncomfortable to be there and no one could understand why. Well Shane tried to call and apologise and see if there was anything he could do to repair the damage and he was shot down. He offended the FIL and that is that. None of the other member is my family are sticking up for us, So i have decided i cant be bothered with them at all. I am not telling them i am trying again, i am not telling them when i get pregnant, i might not even tell them when i have had a baby. They cant respect the position we are in and the effect it has on our lives so why should i bother? Its not like i enjoy spending time with them anyway. </FONT></P>
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<P><FONT face="Century Gothic" color=#000000>I think ive broken my long post record!! i've been going for hours!! I think i get abit carried away, i apologise, i just cant stop once i start.</FONT></P>
<P><FONT face="Century Gothic" color=#000000>It seems like a few of us are nearly on the same time of cycles. I am just saying goodbye to the witch and heading for ovulation. Goodluck to everyone trying! Sorry for no personals, but i'd be here for another 2 hours!!! I hope everyone is doing well. Take care all, goodnight!</FONT></P>
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dont know why my post has all the editing stuff in there... sorry if you cant read it, what a bugger. Sorry again
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Time for a new thread my lovelies... You will find it HERE
