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Has your lawyer checked the prenup to ensure that it's legal and binding? It might be worth checking that out.
ETA this article http://m.theaustralian.com.au/busine...-1111113006951
Suggests that a prenup may not be binding if children arrive and they are not mentioned in the prenup. Please please get some legal advice from a lawyer who has not acted for your husband.
This sounds like such a horrible situation. No question raising twins on your own will be really hard but you can do it IF that's what you want. Keep in mind having these babies will mean DH is a part of your life forever. He may have changed his mind about being a parent now but his feelings may change in future. You'll have to find a way to deal with him as the father of your children. As others have said accept all offers of hand-me-down baby gear, buy cheap nappies and breastfeed. Though the financial side of things will be tough it's the practical and emotional support that you'll most need in the early days so definitely see if you can network with some other caring people now. I agree it doesn't sound like your friend really 'gets it' so see if you can find people with more realistic perspectives on things who are willing to help.
I think it would still be a good idea to go to a lawyer to check everything out. And if you do choose to have the babies, I would be going to sort out the legalities of custody ect...as soon as they are born. You don't want you ex deciding once they're born, he now wants to be a father to them, and to take them away, after you have done it all on your own to get them here.
It's nice for some isn't it! Well I'm right next to Morley too :) PM me & we can sort something out.:
Not sure which lawyer you saw, but even if there is a mortgage on the house, the bank wouldn't own 100% of it. There would be some equity/profit in the house. As everybody else has mentioned, get more legal advice if you can. I can't remember from reading through if you've applied for legal aid? On the job front, as long as you're seen to be applying for jobs/per week, you'll be fulfilling Centrelink requirements. So, if you got an interview, I'd be mentioning that you're pregnant with twins and see how fast the employer runs (unless of course, you really do want the work before the twins are due). Hopefully the morning sickness will start to disappear, as you're pretty close to second trimester (and I know for some people it can go the whole pregnancy, but for lots of people, this is when it should start to improve).
Your friend who is spoilt has no idea about the position that you are in. You are truly being tested in life, far more than what she's probably ever experienced in her life. If she really wants to answer her question about why you might find it hard to look after 2 babies on your own, leave them with her and go shopping for a day and she might understand things a bit better. Is is possible to take her up on some support - even if it's just to get back on your feet and find your own place? Did Centrelink say anything about rental assistance? I so wish you were based in Melb - I could give you stuff like a washing machine and dryer and spare change table and stuff. Argh. So frustrating. I'm sure that the network of mums on here can help locate things for you, closer to where you live. As for the gifts he has given you- I'd be passing them on to somebody else or 'losing them' for awhile.
I really get the sense that you want these babies very much, but feel that the path before you is insurmountable. Was the counsellor that you saw, able to link you in with other local supports? I'm so sorry that you'r going through all of this.
Go get proper independent legal advice. I'd have serious doubts if your prenup will stand in these circumstances.
Queen luxury
Hugs, sounds like you are need of someone to come and wrap their arms around you and tell you "it will be alright"
Wish I lived near you, I would be there in a heartbeat, as would a couple of others I'm sure!
Just a couple of other things.
If you are at all unsure about getting rid of your twins don't do it, better to carry them and adopt them out than terminate and wish you had them.
Have you talking with The Salvation Army, Baptist Care, Lutheran Community Care, AngliCare or any other organization like that? They can help you get back on your feet.
At the moment I receive a home helper each week. And its free. (I have 4 kids and have had PND) if you want I can talk with my contact in Lutheran Community Care to find out what is available in your area.
I wish I could help more.
God is not punishing you.
These babies are a blessing. There is a plan for your life bigger than you can see and these babies are a part of that plan!
I agree that some counselling is a good idea. You need some support. If you go to your GP they can refer you for free counselling sessions so you don't have to worry about paying for them. Ring salvation army. There will be somewhere you can stay until you sort out new accommodation.
I can't imagine how you are feeling but you will get through this.
Will be praying for you and your little ones.
Just wanted share a quick story that might help you... My parents split when I was a baby, about 12 months old, my brother was 2.5 and we left with absolutely nothing. No house, no money, trashed car, no baby supplies. Salvation army gave us shelter and cloth nappies and centrelink payments covered food and fuel. We made toys from cardboard boxes. Sure we didn't live a life of luxury, we ate tinned sardines and vegetables most nights because it was the cheapest way for mum to get maximum nutrition to us kids, and we all shared a matress on the floor but we turned out fine. All your bubs need is a full tummy, a dry bum and a mothers love. Even though our situation was very traumatic for mum, it meant me and my bro grew up learning what really counts, and you can make light of what you've got, no matter how little that is. I'm about 2hrs drive from you but if you need a chat, or a box full of baby clothes/bottles/supplies just pm me x
Listen to divvy - get legal advice. No advice just huge hugs xx
Yes, divvy knows what she is talking about! On Monday, call one of the numbers I gave you. Please do it.:
There are so many people who can help you - all you have to do is reach out and tell them you're there.
Have a chat with DH that I really want to keep these babies and I need help financially from him. He didn't want to pay child support because " one day i might have baby with someone i love, there will be baby that i love & two i dont love. why I should share my money for the baby I didn't love? " ............. Seriously? I could punch him the the face right now
DH said I'm living in a denial that everything will be ok. He said " all those people on Internet have no idea about being a single mum to twins , u should stop talking n go see woman shelter to see how struggle they r then come tell me u still want to have the babies"
If he won't help me much with child support , I will barely survive with two babies. I think I might start to ask few friends to help donate $10 a week. It's not much but it will def help put foods on table & pay some bills. I won't care if I will lose face.
So u think I could try ring Salvation Army to help me with some baby stuff like car seats, bottles, mattress or some electric stuff like heater or fan/aircon?
Thanks everyone so much for ur support. I was leaning toward abortion but now I changed my mind.
Lady_neon How can I pm u?? Lol sorry don't really know how to use this app much
He doesn't have a choice with child support, he's the father so he HAS to pay, legally. Also, with a good lawyer, you can legally take his house, and he will still have to make the payments. I'd be happy to donate 1 baby seat and a box of clothes & cloth nappies
Actually, not true. He doesn't have to pay child support. It depends on his income, your income and other dependents.
Don't let anyone pressure you either way QL.
This is your decision. We can all turn off our pcs at night and not think about it. You are the one who has to live it. And it's not just babies you need to feed, clothe, etc. Babies grow into children. That's when it gets expensive.
Do what you need to do, not what anyone else expects you to do.
Definitely talk to the Salvation Army. Explain what's going on.
Once the babies are here you will be able to get parenting payment- single parent (which is more than if you have a partner) also you can get family tax benefit A and B. if you end up renting you might even be eligible for rent assistance. It's not much but it's a start.
As far as baby clothes go, when you know where you are going to be settled let me know and I'll ship some over. I have several bags full that I was planning to donate anyway.
Hugs
As soon as you talk to a lawyer you will know where you stand and will feel better about that.
I think the women in the refuges would all tell you not to let your husband bully you. You decide what's best for you and your babies.
The women on here are real and will help where we can. Lots are friends in real life and there are area meet ups etc.
N2L even with little or no income he still has to pay. My brother has to pay child support for his son (she left him for another guy, took the bub) and he is a uni student so has very minimal income