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Thread: Pregnant 10wks with twins. Dh want divorce n abortion

  1. #199

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    Mar 2011
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    I agree with everything PN said to you and know she said it from a very genuine place for you and for others on BB. Its disappointing that nowadays we have to be so wary of people and stories on online forums but that is they way the world is. We as a BB community have to ensure that we can provide as much as help as we can but also to protect ourselves.

    I also thought the same thing as forshelby - your defensive and abrupt post is a little confusing when everyone has shown nothing but support and help with your situation. Sometimes the truth is the hardest thing to hear, but it is always comes from a well meaning place.


  2. #200

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    Default Re: Pregnant 10wks with twins. Dh want divorce n abortion

    No need to be so defensive.
    The post was meant with the best intentions.

  3. #201

    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    Brisbane, QLD
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    I understand why you are upset QueenLuxury. I can see how, when you are feeling vulnerable, some of the posts here come across as an attack. Having been here for a very long time, and "knowing" these girls I can say with confidence that the reason that they have said what they have said is to help you, not hurt you and while their posts are very to the point, they say it that way so there is no misunderstanding their advice. I hope you can see that they took the time to post out of concern for you.

  4. #202

    Join Date
    Oct 2011
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    Perth
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    Quote Originally Posted by little_O View Post
    Queenluxury I don't think peanutter was meaning to offend you. From what I understand she was referring to your alias on fb, not here. I maintain anonymity for the same reasons as you.

    What I think peanutter was meaning is that obviously some people have been used for their kindness and therefore show exta precaution when offering on here. What she was saying if you are open with them on fb (not bb) you will be able to get more support. She wasn't meaning to accuse you ( from what I understood here). Everyone feels for you and wants what is best for you. Many women have been through something similar to you. They have the benefit of hindsight and that's what they are trying to help with. They don't want you to end up worse off than you should.

    I understand the feeling of not being used to having to accept help, but I can see how touching it is for so many strangers to want to give and help you.

    Don't push these women away when they are trying to be the best help they can at the moment. I know you would be feeling all over the place right now, but I am sure it wasnt intended to accuse or hurt you.

    Hang in there Hun!

    For me to post my real name Fb account here, its pretty much post my real name on BB too. What's the difference?? If they would hv msg me on my alias fb, I would add them from my normal account,
    If it was the other way around, I asked them to post their fb name here so I can send msg. They would have to post their real name here also.
    I give out that account name because I wasn't be able to PM anyone. Has anyone ever think of that?? If I can PM them personally I would!! But at that time I can't.

    I did read the part where PN said about help me UNDERSTAND why no one has send me anything..... No I didn't! And i dont need to understand. I didn't expect anyone to send me anything.
    So don't talk like I'm waiting to get donation. My intention never was to get charity.

    I'm ****ed because PN talking like I need to prove myself to get free stuff from people lol

    I didn't post every single details of my life here. As of now my H still living at home. He left me some $ to pay for foods and stuff everyday. I used the money that left from grocery to buy babies stuff while I can... While I still get money from him!!!

    Yeh I should be worry about car than buy a car seat or cot. What kind of car that $50-100 gonna get me?? I starting to buy small stuff while I can. So after this I can combine all the money I have to buy a car. I will get CL money each forthnight. By the time I nearly due, that money plus my saving will be enough to get a decent car.

    I already doing my best for my situation. When I said I already have all legal side sorted I don't need more lecture. No one here ever see my prenup so please don't talk to me like I'm dumb for not seeking advise. I did. My lawyer already warned me about this. His exact word is " are you sure you want to sign this? You're getting jack sh-t and pretty much leave with nothing no matter what happen ".

    U ladies have help me enough. I think I will be fine from now on. Thanks anyway
    Last edited by onthefly; December 18th, 2012 at 04:58 PM.

  5. #203

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    Default Re: Pregnant 10wks with twins. Dh want divorce n abortion

    Ok.
    Just worried about u.

  6. #204

    Join Date
    May 2012
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    Where faith conquers fear
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queenluxury View Post
    For me to post my real name Fb account here, its pretty much post my real name on BB too. What's the difference?? If they would hv msg me on my alias fb, I would add them from my normal account,
    If it was the other way around, I asked them to post their fb name here so I can send msg. They would have to post their real name here also.
    I give out that account name because I wasn't be able to PM anyone. Has anyone ever think of that?? If I can PM them personally I would!! But at that time I can't.

    I did read the part where PN said about help me UNDERSTAND why no one has send me anything..... No I didn't! And i dont need to understand. I didn't expect anyone to send me anything.
    So don't talk like I'm waiting to get donation. My intention never was to get charity.

    I'm p-ssed because PN talking like I need to prove myself to get free stuff from people lol

    I didn't post every single details of my life here. As of now my H still living at home. He left me some $ to pay for foods and stuff everyday. I used the money that left from grocery to buy babies stuff while I can... While I still get money from him!!!

    Yeh I should be worry about car than buy a car seat or cot. What kind of car that $50-100 gonna get me?? I starting to buy small stuff while I can. So after this I can combine all the money I have to buy a car. I will get CL money each forthnight. By the time I nearly due, that money plus my saving will be enough to get a decent car.

    I already doing my best for my situation. When I said I already have all legal side sorted I don't need more lecture. No one here ever see my prenup so please don't talk to me like I'm dumb for not seeking advise. I did. My lawyer already warned me about this. His exact word is " are you sure you want to sign this? You're getting jack sh-t and pretty much leave with nothing no matter what happen ".

    U ladies have help me enough. I think I will be fine from now on. Thanks anyway
    Quite frankly I think you are being prideful! If you are who you say you are, and your story is as it appears then you would do well to swallow your pride and not alienate the people that have offered both their time and resources to help you, for your babies if nothing else!From the way you speak it doesn't seem as though you are in the position be turning away potential friends.

    Noone accused you of any such thing, so much helpful, constructive advice was given to you and yet for some reason you focus on one part of one post that didn't sit well with you, even though it was never an accusation or personal attack it was just a blunt dose of reality.

    People really want to reach out and help you, but trust is something that needs to be developed, not expected or demanded, all that was asked of you was you to let a person or two get to know you, not the whole of belly belly! That is the least you could do in the face of so many people reaching out to offer you assistance, it strikes me as very odd that you refuse to do such a simple thing that would result in much needed support for you and your babies.

    I hope you can find a little humility and apologise for the overreaction, I think you would find that many people are still very much ready and willing to be your friend and help you, but if you continue to behave rude and defensive it will only push people away!

  7. #205

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    11,633

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    Moderator Message
    Ok, thanks all. I think we've done enough here


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