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Thread: VBAC / EBAC Discussion

  1. #91

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    Hi Philippa welcome to the VBAC/EBAC thread.



    My Doula came around for an interview this morning and I`m even more excited about my VBAC \/ She was a lovely lady, a lot like what I imagine Kelly to be like IRL. She has a background in counselling women who have fears with childbirth, she comes with accrediatations in meditation, massage and natural healing. When talking about my c/s to her I realised how I haven`t got over it as yet, the fears of Matthew`s c/s all came flooding back to me. She`s been a Doula for 6 months and is continuing her studies, she`s doing a study now on VBAC which has coincided nicely.

    Anyway thought I`d let all you lovely supportive girls know how the Doula interview went, I feel so empowered that I really can do this even though I was diagnosed with a CPD and curved tailbone I know if I can stay away from that bed I can do it.

    Thanks girls for allowing me to ramble on

  2. #92

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    That's awesome Deeanne!

    Thanks to everyone for your warm welcome.

    Cheers

  3. #93

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    That's great Dee! You can see why I get so excited about this stuff. If only every woman knew what it would be like to have a Doula and also what they (as a powerful birthing goddess!) are capable of. The world would be a very different place!!! Take control of the fear, grab it by the horns, stomp your foot and be in charge! Don't let it take control of you, or you may just never know what you are truly capable of. Because once you achieve it, it feels absolutely AWESOME! It really can do so much for you even after the birth having that huge boost of confidence. Even if you give it a go and things aren't meant to be, you gave it a go and that is the main thing - you are still left EMPOWERED!
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children

    BellyBelly Birth & Early Parenting Immersion - Find out how to have a BETTER, more confident birth experience... guaranteed!
    Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know

  4. #94

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    I am absolutely loving this topic ATM as the boost it is giving us all powerful birthing women!!!!!! =D>

  5. #95
    kirsty Guest

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    Great news about your Doula Dee, she sounds lovely & just perfect. Wishing you every success with your birth.

  6. #96

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    After my empowered day yesterday, my OB today has totally destroyed it all, I reminded him again how I`d like to try for a VBAC and the negative response I got back had me in tears, he said he`ll see how things are at term but he said I have to remember these facts with my first pregnancy and it`s on the cards it`ll be the same reason as to why I`ll need another c/s (this is a different response to what I first had from him months ago)
    #I was overdue - I have to add only by 6 days by u/s date and 4 days by LMP date
    #I had a big baby - 4.2kg and this one is sizing up the same as #1
    #Baby`s head was not engaged - high as a kite
    #small pelvis
    #curved tailbone

    Girls - Am I fooling myself about a VBAC. I really don`t know why he brought the issue up that I was overdue, Matthew isn`t the only overdue bub around and surelyw ith my other issues as long as I`m up and active I feel like I can do it or try my best.

    All I want is to be in labour, to feel what it`s all like, to give it my best shot - Is this all too much to ask??????

    I just feel so ripped off that I`ve never felt labour and now I feel that I have a body that is all deformed for childbirth

    I no longer know what way to turn but I know one thing for certain I do not want to have an elective c/s but how can I get my OB to come around to my way of thinking

    I`ve been quite upset since my appointment this afternoon, this isn`t the way I wanted things to turn out like

  7. #97

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    Deeanne

    I am sorry you had to hear all that crap. That what it is you know.

    Lets address these one by one.

    Overdue is after 42 weeks. But that does not mean you cant labour even at 44 weeks (which some women get to)

    Your baby may or may not be bigger. not all 2nd babies are bigger. I have seen tiny women give birth to big babies. Sive is not an issue if your pelvis is free to move and expand. Plus the baby's head will mold.

    70% of babies do not engage until labour is establishes, yes even 1st time mothers. High is not a reason for c/s.

    Your pelvis will expand if you give it the chance. A good doula or midwife will know how to make the most of the space too with lunges and such in labour.

    Tail bones are designed to get out of the way. But they can move you or the bed to do it if they are squished in beween.

    As to bringing your ob around. Forget it. It will never happen. If you want a supportive care giver you will need to lot to one who already shares your view. The best an ob who does not believe in your way is to tell you sure we'll see, to keep you coming back until at 37 weeks he starts telling you your baby could die for one reason or another better do a c/s.

    I say all this to you to give you the information to make your own decisions. To help you find more info. What does your heart tell you about what he said. What does it tell you about what you want.

    Feel free to email me of line for ideas on finding the info you want.

    Cheers

  8. #98

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    Girls - Am I fooling myself about a VBAC
    I feel the same Dee.. I would love to be able to have the chance at a VBAC, but every time DH and I talk about it, he just says "They said you can't" And while I wish for it so bad, I feel at the same time that I have to respect DH's wishes.... I just can't win.

    Anyway, I'm so glad that your Doula appointment went well. Is she able to recommend another OB in your area, who will support your beliefs?
    :smt021 for your negative OB!

    Nic

  9. #99

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    Dee, you are definately NOT fooling yourself! Have a look around, women that has been told to be induced or c/s for large babies haven't! Matilda was 4.1kg and very very tall, Matilda was nowhere near my cervix, I was 17 days overdue and my midwives kept telling me that I didn't have to do a c/s at all when the OB suggested it. I was told I had to be induced, but if in the same situation now I would have waited another week and just had monitoring done to ensure that Matilda was okay. Ultrasounds are very inaccurate ways of measuring how big your baby will be. The soundwaves bounce off in a round way rather than xrays which move differently.

    You can stay empowered! My GP who I'm going through is the one who suggested I read silent knife and she said to me if the OB at the hospital disagreed with me than to ask for another.

    I will support you with any decision you make, but I don't like hearing the reasons he's given you, isn't every birth different? Isn't every baby different? *hugs* We are here to support you!

  10. #100
    gabbysmum Guest

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    Hi Deeanne

    I'd be looking for second opinions and a more supportive ob if I was you. Have you got a copy of your medical record from the previous pregnancy and birth?

    I know someone that took a copy of her records to several obs for opinions on why she ended up with a c/s and to discuss her chances of VBAC. She's due pretty soon and has planned a homebirth.

    I know all about that "ripped off" feeling as I didn't experience labour myself either. We put our faith in these obs only to have all of our hopes dashed. Why do they not realise how important it is for us to feel like a woman and have the ultimate experience that comes with giving birth?My baby was breech and it wasn't detected until 41 weeks. I was given no option but c/s and stupidly I trusted the hospital. I have later found out that I could have laboured first as she may have turned in labour. Also maybe I could have spent a week encouraging her to turn naturally.


    Do some more research and see if you can find an ob that will support your VBAC. Ask what their c/s rate is. c/s is a life saving operation "when needed" but it is performed way too much in Australia, the c/s rate is around 30% in Australian hospitals. The World Health Organisation recommends a c/s rate of 10-15% which means that at least 50% of c/s in Australia are not necessary. A repeat elective caesarean carries more risks than a VBAC. I know of an ob in Melbourne that is renouned for his preference for vaginal birth, he apparently does not do elective c/s. So ask around and see who you can find in your area.

    Good luck and don't let it get you dowm

  11. #101

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    Dee - Don't let him bully you!!! This is what they are good at and where they underestimate women's bodies - birth is not a medical event from which Ob's need to 'save' the babies from our bodies!

    #I was overdue - I have to add only by 6 days by u/s date and 4 days by LMP date

    38-42 weeks is classed as a term pregnancy.

    #I had a big baby - 4.2kg and this one is sizing up the same as #1

    Cailin just birthed a baby of this size no problems!!! I also know many women who birth 10-11lb babies no problem and I also know lots of second babies that were smaller. Take my own - Marisa 6lbs10oz. Elijah 5lbs15oz. Keep active, upright and make the most of the space you have. No-one designed human beings without the capacity to reproduce structurally or we wouldn't be such a vast population.

    #Baby`s head was not engaged - high as a kite

    That is a joke - not all babies engage before labour - none of Yvette's children engaged prior to labour nor did others on this forum. Second babies tend not to engage until labour as they have more room so you may find he may rub that in (that this one hasn't engaged yet) but it's so normal.

    #small pelvis
    #curved tailbone

    I STRONGLY recommend you buy the Pink Kit (I'm going to start selling them soon they are brilliant) and also remember many, many women have been told exactly what you have, but then go on to birth babies even at home! So it's a bit of an epidemic this small pelvis thing. It's amazing how much a pelvis can move in labour with the help of relaxin - a natural hormone! You can't see that in a scan - it happens at labour, not lying flat on your back in a scan!

    Keep the faith my sweets, its not too late to change Obs if it bothers you that much. Say you do go into labour and should it end up with a caeser, you don't want someone saying, 'I told you so' you want someone who will say, 'Good on you for giving it a go.'
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children

    BellyBelly Birth & Early Parenting Immersion - Find out how to have a BETTER, more confident birth experience... guaranteed!
    Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know

  12. #102

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    Oh and I forgot to add: Remember that Obs are trained in things that go wrong in birth - no wonder most of them practice based on things they can do to 'save' the baby from our bodies. Not normal, physiological childbirth - but medical birth. They should be trained in normal physiological birth before they are even let into the Obstetric classroom and again at the end of the training so they leave with a reminder of what birth can be and often is.
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children

    BellyBelly Birth & Early Parenting Immersion - Find out how to have a BETTER, more confident birth experience... guaranteed!
    Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know

  13. #103

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    WOW everyone has said pretty much what I was thinking when I read your post, sorry to say but your OB is an IDIOT!!!!!!!!

    I was 4 days overdue with #4

    Dion was 4625 gms born

    Babys head was still not engaged when I was 7 cm dilated!!!!!!!!!

    Small pelvis, and curved tailbone, TO fit a babies head through, the pelvis is designed to OPEN and the babys skull bones are not fused to mold!!!!!!! otherwise we would all need pelvises the size of dinner plates!!!!!!! My VBAC boy ( 4625) had a molded head where I pushe dhim out , but it reverted back after 2 weeks!!!!

    Tell your Ob to take a hike and find one who knows about BIRTHING babies, not "fixing" problems

    Oh pink kit highly recommended to!!!

  14. #104

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    Thank you so much girls for reassuring me
    Oh I was going to write more but Matthew has woken up I`ll be back later

  15. #105

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    I`ve finally made it back, Matthew wasn`t well yesterday afternoon, poor little man was vomiting, thought he`d never stop, he seems better today. Then last night our computer crashed, not sure why.

    In the meantime I have contacted Tiff (tiggy) as she lives not too far from me, I thought if anyone would know a supportive VBAC OB she would be the one, she has been very helpful and I have two names who I`m going to contact on Monday, I`m hoping they`ll fit me in at this late stage into my pregnancy.

    I`m not too sure how to tell DH that I`m seeking other OB`s, the OB who I was seeing has delivered 8 out of 9 babies between DH and his sister, the oldest of the children being 18 and Matthew being the youngest at 10.5 months so I`m not sure how he`s going to react to it.

    I was beginning to think I was fooling myself that I could attempt a VBAC but you girls have been so supportive of me, it`s wonderful, I wish you all lived nearby I`ll be personally giving you all a big hug. I have shed buckets of tears but feel much better about everything now.

    Phillipa - You asked me what does my heart tell me about what my OB said - I felt that he was handing me a lot of rubbish just to get me to have a c/s so I`m out of the way so to speak, If I didn`t have the info from you girls about ct scans of pelvis being inaccurate I really wouldn`t know any better and would go along with my OB, as for him mentioning Matthew was overdue I think that was a ridiculous thing to even bring up, My Mum and sisters all had babies overdue I`m talking 2 - 3 weeks over, as for big baby - I`m not worried how big or small my bubs is I know I can still push him out even though I`m small myself. You also wanted to know what does it tell me what I want - I personally would feel better never seeing him again and to find someone supportive of my VBAC, I know I can do it I can be determined at times and I`m really determined about my VBAC.

    Kelly - Do you know when you`ll be selling the Pink Kit?

  16. #106

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    Dee, I am looking into it now, but they aren't the cheapest of things I have to get from overseas, but it will be very soon. Also a great book - Henci Goer's The Thinking Woman's Guide To a Better Birth. Deals with all the stuff we usually get bowled over with when confronted with it - caesars, inductions, VBAC, breech, drugs - all the points of altercations See if you can grab a copy, its hard to get you might have to get one from eBay or a library but you'll feel mighty empowered after reading it Ready to debate the head off any Ob in your way LOL!
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children

    BellyBelly Birth & Early Parenting Immersion - Find out how to have a BETTER, more confident birth experience... guaranteed!
    Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know

  17. #107
    tiggy Guest

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    Dee,

    I have got the pink kit, if you want mine, I lent it to another midwife but I know she has it at present, just give a shout, happy to share.

  18. #108

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    GO DEE GO
    GO DEE GO
    GO DEE GO DEE GO DEE GO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    PS Tell Dh carrying on family traditions is all fine and dandy, but ONLY if its for the good of all involved ( I mean would you run away from home, coz everyone else did????)

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