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Thread: Do I admit defeat??

  1. #1

    Default Do I admit defeat??

    Hi there and sorry for the long post,

    DS is 8 months old (just) and fully BF. He is only just getting interested in solids over this past week, and otherwise was/is having 3-4 feeds a day and 2-3 overnight.
    I am going back to work next week (Part time, sooner than planned) and so over the past month have been trying to get DS to take a bottle/cup. I have tried every approach I can think of but to no avail. I have tried going out and getting someone else to give it to him, waiting til he is really hungry, different cups, bottles, EBM, different formula, different temperatures, different times of the day/night. I've even tried putting him on the breast and then detatching him and shoving the bottle in quickly! No joy. At. All.
    So, on Tuesday I decided to go cold turkey (I was desperate). He BF'd at 8am and then went to childcare (first full day). He held out all day. No milk at all, no solids. Then DH managed to get him to take 40ml of EBM from a cup at 5.30pm, and again a 8.30pm. Then nothing until 3am when he had about 80ml of formula/EBM (mixed). Then the following day he took three good feeds of EBM/Formula from a cup. I thought we'd cracked it.
    Nope. From 3.30pm that day he went on another hunger strike. Did not feed until midnight when I caved in and BF'd him. I couldn't bear it any longer (the stress of him not feeding and obviously not being happy). He then slept til morning and I sent him off to childcare again without giving him a morning feed, hoping he'd be hungry enough to take a cup at childcare. Nope. Hunger strike again. Had a small amount of pureed pear for lunch, and then one of the carers managed to get him to sip around 100ml from a cup at about 3pm. I then BF'd at bedtime. He slept terribly last night but he also has teeth coming through so I think that is really bothering him. I have BFd today, although tried a cup at lunchtime but no go. He does seem to have more interest in solid food though.

    So now I don't know how to move forward from here. I am tired and emotional, and am really struggling with trying to force him to take something he obviously doesn't want. However, given his lack of solid food intake I don't want him going all day (2 days per week) at childcare with no milk. I saw my MCHN today who said I should continue to offer bottle/cup during the day and breast first thing in the morning and night. She reckons he'll get the hang of it. I am not so sure and am also worried I have traumatised the poor boy with the last few days!!

    Sorry, I am rambling, but am really at a loss!



    Any advice would be appreciated!

    Cheers,

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    I don't have personal experience with this, but I think it would be best to breastfeed freely on those days you're home with him, and have whoever is caring for him on your work days just keep offering other things. Have you tried asking the ABA for advice?

    I wouldn't go cold turkey anyway - it's not good for either of you

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    Brisbane
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    It sounds like you have been having a very stressful time. This must make going back to work harder for you

    I agree with marcellus - I would follow your little one's lead and bf freely when you are together. At his age, your DS should be fine to go through the day twice a week without milk if he won't take it - it's better if he does, but if he doesn't he will drink enough before and after child care to make up for what he's missed during the day. At 8 months he can drain a breast very quickly and will probably feed more often while you are together to make up for missed feeds. During the day, as long as he is offered milk, some water if he doesn't drink the milk (have you tried water yet?) and some solids, he will take what he needs. Babies don't stave themselves - as you have seen, he will drink from a cup sometimes, so he will take what he needs. If you are worried that he is not getting enough on child care days, just keep a count of his wet nappies on those days. As long as he is still having 5 wet nappies in the 24 hour period then he is getting enough.

    Also, another cool thing to know, is that your milk supply will adjust so that you make less during the day on child care days, and still have enough to feed him the rest of the time. Us mums are clever, aren't we!!

  4. #4

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    Nov 2005
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    Maybe try a straw cup. DS2 won't drink out of a bottle or a sippy cup, last week I sent his EBM to childcare in a straw cup (he has his water out of one, too) and he drank all I sent. I give him a feed before I leave and when I pick him up if he demands it, so I don't worry too much about the amount he drinks during the day. He's only going one day a week and it took him 4 weeks before he'd eat significant amounts, and drink his milk (although as I said that could have been the bottles). Good Luck!

  5. #5

    Default

    Hi there,

    Thanks so much for your replies, I feel better already!
    I rang the ABA and they suggested just trying to slowly drop the day feeds one at a time and see if he will drink from a cup. However, I think I will do as you have suggested and continue to feed as normal on the days I am home, and then send him to childcare with milk and water, and hopefully he will slowly get the hang of it. I really don't think it is fair to try to force a cup on him on the days when I am at home. Interestingly, that is what one of the GP's I have seen suggested, and this is what my maternal instinct is saying too. I was never comfortable with going cold turkey either! It broke my heart not to feed him!
    I guess if he has sips of milk and water thoughout the day on the two days he is in CC, and increases his solid food intake, he should be ok for two days per week. I do offer him water and he does have a sip here and there. I have tried the straw cup but he hasn't got the hang of it yet.
    The CC centre are fabulous and will patienly sit with him and get him to have sips of milk, so it's great to know I have their support. Also, it is good to hear that my milk will adjust on the days that I am at work. I really wanted to avoid having to express at work. I did that with DD and just found it really hard work for very little milk!

    Wish me luck!

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    11,633

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    Sounds like a great plan! All the best for your return to work

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