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Thread: Weaning 15mth old - advice please!

  1. #1

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    Default Weaning 15mth old - advice please!

    *sigh*



    It is with heavy heart (that sounds so trite compared to how I actually feel about it) I have decided to wean Jack in the short term. We need to wean before we can have IVF again, anyway, but I was happy enough to take my time until now. I'm at the end of my chain. I've really loved our breastfeeding relationship until recently, but I'm just not enjoying it any more. I've been feeding exclusively from one breast for 10 months because of breast refusal. That was never really a problem until he gets colds or starts teething. This week, he's doing both. Consequently, my one functioning boob (& nipple) isn't getting a break when he starts biting, or being lazy with his teeth. I'm developing a wound on my areola from his teeth. I was doing Dr Jay's night weaning until this cold (then I thought it wasn't fair to not feed him when he has a sore throat), but I reinstated it last night (resulting in me not getting any sleep, AND dropping my bundle at ABA meeting today...) because it just hurt too much.

    So, while I apologise for not making much sense right now (too emotional for proof reading & editing), I would like some advice for weaning on the short term. I simply can't do a long & drawn out 'replace the least needed feed'. It hasn't worked yet as Jack claims to need all of them. And I can't possibly keep going like this. I feel like I'm back to the muddy PND days.

    Thanks. (where's the smilie for 'sobbing like a lost lamb'??)

  2. #2

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    Oh you poor thing... you sound at the end of your tether!

    How was the ABA meeting today - apart from dropping your bundle? Which I'm sure they totally wouldn't have cared about...

    Did you get any help from the counsellor there? Was there a counsellor there?

    Can you try the "don't offer don't refuse" idea? Or is he a big booby boy who won't handle that so well? My DD weaned relatively easily, she is a curious inquisitive child who was never very booby-oriented! DS, well he will be another story

    I'll try and dig up some more info for you

    Hang in there.

  3. #3

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    I think the best thing to do is probably to move them further apart or reduce the amount he takes at each feed, rather than dropping a specific feed.
    Could you start by introducing a food-and-drink-and-then-you-can-have-boob policy during the day, so that he takes less at each feed since he will already be fullish. And really really praise him when he has a drink of water or milk or anything that isn't you.

    We didn't manage to night wean DS until we stopped co-sleeping though.

  4. #4

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    Lots of things all happening at once!
    On top of the pain and everything else, it is common to feel this way about feeding at times. Often it eases off with a bit of time so if you can find a way to manage in the near term, maybe you'll buy yourself some breathing room to make it a slightly longer process. I'm not trying to talk you out of it, it's just that it is going to be very hard on both of you when he's sick and teething.
    What do you do about the biting/positioning? Can you work on that to reduce your pain - take him off and put him down if he's hurting you maybe?
    What help do you have? Can you partner take over during the night for a while (over the weekend at least, or for the first half of the night)? Do you get time out for yourself (probably desperately needed...?)

  5. #5

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    Thanks for the replies. I was in a real mess last night!

    Jack slept quite well last night. He woke a couple of times & I just hugged him back to sleep. It was probably his best night in a long time! DH tried to put him to sleep with a bottle of EBM, but that failed. He won't touch bottles, not matter what's in them. And before Jack got thsi cold, DH tried to have him overnight (me in the spare room) after Jack's last BF for the night & it didn't go so well. DH brought him in to me after 30mins of crying at his first waking... I think it was before midnight, too! I think he could have stuck at it a little longer, as Jack has a bit of a 'give up' switch at 30mins (I've found through night weaning). I dunno. Maybe we'll try again in a couple of weeks when Jack's more settled again.

    With the biting, I've been asking him to be gentle & careful with his teeth as it hurts mummy & boobie. I don't really know if it makes any difference! Some times I just stop the feed if it's too much. He doesn't like it, but I try again when he's a bit calmer.

    I read the ABA page on weaning last night. I'm going to stick to more or a feeding routine & only give breastfeeds at 'meal times', but try to get him to eat food first. He's not very keen on food at the moment, as his teeth hurt. But I'll try! This morning he's had feeds at 5am, 7am, 11:30am. I need to get some food ready for his lunch when he wakes from his nap shortly, so I'd better dash.

    Thanks for the support.

  6. #6

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    Have you tried showing Jack the toothmarks and telling him that toothmarks make Mum sad so be gentle?
    My DS wouldn't believe that things were sore until I actually showed him the marks.

    And I think you are right to do the night weaning now - I tried when my DS was a bit older, and he was strong enough to roll me over and burrow to get what he wanted! Not a raging success.....

  7. #7

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    Glad you had a good night - hope the plan works well for you.
    I would definitely end the feed and put him down. That's the only thing that worked with my DS anyway. He didn't care taht it hurt me at that age

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