Babies Born November 2006 #10

Oh Tara, I read yours posts and have been nodding my head... my DD was a star sleeper, just needed to be put in her cot (awake) with the dummy and a few strokes to the cheek and when I would heck on her 10mins later she would be asleep.. Fast forward to today and after a bout of gastro at Easter she now needs to hold *MY* hand to go to sleep.. It is so frustrating when you know that she used to self settle and now doesn't. I was told that when babies are sick, they need to know you are there to look after them so that I did the right thing by staying with her to help her settle, however, I have not had a decent nights sleep since!!

Thing is, when it only takes 10 mins to get her down I think yeah I can live with this, it is on the occassions when I am holding her hand for two hours and she is talking to my fingers that I feel that what I am doing is wrong and I am infact keeping her awake instead of helping her settle.. (not to mention the fact that I am sitting on a chair beside her cot, freezing and getting angry)

My sister fed her bub to sleep and a bub in her mothers group would self settle - once they turned 1 both bubs reverted to needing comfort and my sister was still able to feed him to sleep (albeit every two hours) while the other mother had to pace the floor, rock, pat, etc.. I think this is what Christy was saying that babies change as they grow and sometimes you just have to go with the flow.. what they do today, they may not necessarily do tomorrow..

Unfortunately, while I know what everyone has said is good practical advice (including my sister), I am still feeling those guilt trips... It is so easy to get really hung up on it especially as she is not consistent..

Thanks for the vent - helps to know I am not alone!!

HI all...

Well since I have stopped the farex, and just given Aston pears, things have been moving on through! who knows, now that department is better, maybe the whole sleep thing will improve as well. Fingers crossed anyway.

Was very tired and emotional when I got home this morning from droppnig the kids off after the counselling session with their dad. Think it went ok, just wish he was mature enough to act more civily towards me! but at least the kids are ok, and looks like it will be improving.

Doesn't no sleep turn everything into a nightmare, and tears arrive at the slightest thing.

going to try and get Aston to sleep...so I can lay down!

Glad things went well Vicky...hows your airwrap going??

fantastic Kim, its made a difference in that he doesn't get his legs stuck anymore, and manages to do 180degree turns now in the cot! lol, often I come in, and his head is facing the other end to what I put him in. Aston sleeps in a grobag, so the only thing in the cot now besides him, is a bottom sheet, and muslin wrap that is tucked in which he lies on, and holds on the the corner as he goes to sleep :), and tigger.... so much for blankets!

I hope you're ok Vicky, sounds like you need a nice bath when Aston's gone to bed.
Iberru that is exactly Evie all over everything you just said is what I am thinking.
I just read an article about babies self-settling and such and it mentions how its a lifeskill which i agreed with and then it turned into just advocating controlled crying which just pi$$ed me off...it even had the hide to mention that there are absolutlely no ill-effects on the child from being left to cry and even suggest trying it from as early as 3 months.
I am reverting to my original ways of going with the flow, maybe she will go back to going to sleep on her own later on..or not..as long as she's happy

Hi Luua.. how cool is that!? I love the name Ella! Obviously... haha.. but yeah.. i think it's just timeless.. and it's so cute. and so classy. and so pretty. and so sophisticated.. i think it's all those things! Just beautiful.

Well.. it sounds like we all go thru the same things... the sleepless nites, the guilt trips, the constant questioning... we just gotta remember we all absolutely fantastic mums!! Just makes you realise how much more you appreciate your own mum hey??

Ok, gots to go everyone.. talk later.

xx

Julie.

I just had a light-bulb moment, I was sitting feeding Evie and thinking "if I feed now she should sleep through til 2:30 cos shes meant to sleep for 6 hours.." and then i thought 'meant to'? what the hell? where do we get this idea about what babies are "meant" to do. they do want they want to do when they want to do it! they dont read books and articles and what should be happening and when! If I have ever had an argument with myself to convince myself of something then that was it.
PS Fed evie, put her to bed awake she put herself to sleep. hurrah.
Also Julie that was a lovely post, what a lovely lady you are

Taralee- Yay!! She settled herself to sleep! Well that's definitely an added bonus to your day!! And I hear what you're saying about your "lightbulb moment"! I always do that! "What are you doing awake? you shouldn't be up yet!" hahhah.. then I think.. oh well.. i suppose you must have been ready to wake up! What a pity it's always before I'm ready to wake up! Or "you're not supposed to have another feed for another hour yet!" But yeah.. they are their own little person, and aren't 'supposed' to do anything!

Amazing little creatures they are!

Goodnite y'all.

julie.

well done Taralee - keep reminding yourself of just that when its all too much...the supposed to's are based on statisical information, which probably came as close to a baby as the photographer when they took the photo to put on the cover of the book! lol.

I'm sure the supposed to's are based on a lot of things..except real babies! anyways, put evie to bed this morning and she cried and cried even when i sat with her so i picked her up and rocked her - just like i did when she was weeny and she went straight to sleep. i do remember though that she got sick of being rocked and just wanted to be put down so maybe she'll go back to that again.
Did you hear that the rate of SIDS is rising again everyone? thats quite scary and very interesting too. i did hear at one point they thought it was related to a virus or something. it actually made me realise evie isnt a baby-baby anymore when they showed pictures of weeny babies being put to bed :( oh where's the time going?

Its so sad to think of babies dying. My friend lost her 18 month old, so I'm a bit paranoid until they are 2. But you do relax after a while... I know that with Jovie I'm heaps relaxed and I think now I'm going to look out more.

Glad to hear that things are better Tara! I know with Jovie atm she hates being held to sleep... so I can't, but things will change again LOL

Jovie has white spots on her gums so she may start teething soon.... they aren't too bad but we shall see LOL

I would love to say that I relaxed after my big kids turned two - but unfortunately that isn't the case... i'm prone to hyperviglence, which I try extremely hard to keep under control - I know that it drives my 11yo daughter mad...but hey I'd rather err on the side of caution, then have something horrible happen... the relatity of having kids is that just as you think they are out of danger of one particular thing, they are moving into something else... I spend alot of time internalising it all, so as not to be completely ridiculous with it. I have to physically stop myself from running on the field with Nathan gets hurts during a soccer match! I stand and hold my breath and count, so that I am not over reacting, and appear to be acting like a normal human being - whatever is defined by normal... anyway raving here a bit arent I?

I think nathan is teething too Christy - he wouldnt feed until I run bonjella on his gums this morning. Have to say that once you have children that can articulate what is wrong with them, its tricky going back to eliminating causes!

You'll have to excuse me today girls, in a bit of a strange head space, probably from feeling over tired, and the events of the last 6months finally catching up with me.

i was paranoid when Emelia was newborn i checked on her so much and DP still listens over the moniter to hear if she is breathing! he hates when she sick he gets so worried :( ive relaxed alot more now but i still get abit worried when shes sleeping longer than normal i go check on her and i usually end up waking her!! lol

yeah.. i've got to admit too, that I still check on my 3 year old many times thru the nite.. but he will sleep thru anything now.. if he passes out on the lounge watching tv, I can change his clothes and everything, and he won't wake up.. just keeps snoring. But Ella, my 7 month old, she's still at that age where anything wakes her! But I still check on her constantly.. I always say to myself.. I'd rather have her wake up early than something more horrible happen.

Yeah.. Taralee.. I heard on the news this morning that the SIDS rate has increased 50% over the last year!!?? That's huge! The news report I heard said that they believed it could be related to parents trying to avoid "flat head syndrome". So I guess parents aren't always putting their bubs on their back, coz they're worried their head will be mis-shapen. Who knows? Whatever it is.. it's just horrible.. makes me feel sick.

And Vicky.. I just know I'm gonna be like you, no matter what my kids ages! I certainly know what I was getting up to when I was a teenager! and it also makes me feel ill when I think that my own kids could do the same!! What a scary thought!!

Oh dear.. I think I better go now...

julie :)

Ahh Vicky I'm assuming you meant Aston is teething? Not Nathan...lol. Anyways, I am the same and am going to be the same as you regarding being extra-vigilant. I seem to be really paranoid lately about someone snatching her. So many people at the shop say how cute she is (dont meant to sound big-headed there) and i get worried that i'll turn around and someone will be off with her...maybe that doesnt sound too crazy. ive even taken to doing food shopping at a little centre so there are less people and i dont feel as bad putting her in the trolley seat and turning 90degrees to get freakin' potatoes!!
Had 6month needles today. What a trooper, she cried for about 2 minutes and then was smiling and putting her hands in her mouth in her cheeky little way. Now sleeping soundly :)

I know what you mean Taralee...and you don't sound big headed. When we did the grocery shopping yesterday I had at least half a dozen people stop and "talk" to Aston. I usually take the big kids with me shopping so that I have two pairs of extra hands to stay with Aston completely. I have taken him shopping and worn the pouch, but then I can't get the food out of the trolley at the end! so had to give the one up. Lucky you with the needles, When we went on Tuesday Aston was all smiles and laughs and chatty, then he got the needles, well the indignation of it all. poor little man. and he has two bruises and lumps for the trouble. beasts! he was out of sorts for about 36 hours, but seems better today.

Julie, every day I dread that we are one day closer to teenage hood with my daughter...think I will just send her to a convent for the peace of mind. We are already having heated discussions about highschool - because she wants to go to the local one, and I'm - NO WAY! so the next chapter in motherhood begins. Its interesting place to be in I am - one foot in babyhood, one in pre adolescence, and one right on the tip of teenager! arghhhh....never a dull momnet in this house I tell you.

oh I don't envy you Vicky.... I am petrified of having my two reach pre-teen close together. Two girls.... eek!!!

Jovie is going really well with solids atm, but has a bit of a harder time pooing when she has things like potato and sweet potato. She got constipation when she was on more bottles and of the goats milk before we got the prescription formula... I've just started trying water but she won't take a cup yet.

Argghhhhhhhhhhh ho sent their babies colds to me?????!!! Im down and out of action and we are moving this weekend!

Chels also has it... poor thing doped up on Panadol to control her nose.