Babies Born ~ September 16-30th 2010 #4

Hi ladies,

Connie - Pearl is not walking either - she doesn't even like to stand up! Loves bum shuffling and if you hold her up she will put her legs out ot be put on her bum - never seen a kid like it! George will walk when he is good and ready. Swimming lessons sounds very grown up but I guess if we were in a city we would be doing the same.

Wite - Harlow sounds like a smart little cookie - funny when they start demonstrating they understand things that are going on around them when for the longest time you assume they are clueless. The party sounds like an extraveganza!

Bec - I saw the pics of D with I on FB - they look really happy together. I think kids pick up on a biological connection. How does the accom work over there? are you renting a house? The fruit sounds fantastic - I am hanging out for stone fruit season here. Interesting your observations about diff baby rearing techniques here and there - I guess some of them are based on nessesity - like wearing babies because footpaths are not really up to pram traffic etc. Funny about the cows milk too - although my understanding is that formula is just dried cows milk (or based on it anyway) so may not be as different as we all think. You must be having such a great time and will be sad to leave just like Isaac I imagine - he will prob sleep well when you get home!

Belfie - I noticed you are measuring the months DH has been sick - so he is obviously not getting any better than? Must be bloody hard for you financially, emotionally, physically - every way really - that sucks. I hope he improves for good and soon. On the up side little Annika is such a little cutie, particularly with those pig tails - you have inspired me to try that with Pearl!

Dory - how is the little bump? Hope the first tri is treating you well. My bbs are really getting sensative with the bfeeding - still nothing compared to the vasospasm I had early on but weird for it to hurt after months of pain free feeding.

Fuzzy - hello!

AFM - All good here with the pg - up to 10 weeks now which is great 1/4 of the way there - will feel heaps better when I have my NT scan at the start of Dec - If I lived in the city I would prob book another one about now just to reassure me as Dec feels like ages away. Still got some ms but pretty mild compared to some people. Been doing heaps of overtime for work - I figure need to earn maximum cash now before I leave again - gotta pay for this house we are building - we are trying to get the mortgage down now so when this bub comes along I won't have to work as much (that's the plan anyway) Yet to tell anyone at work about being preg - am hoping all of our contracts get extended and I can claim more mat leave so keeping my mouth shut for now.

So glad everything is going well for you Chuckie! Yes I am renting a house here, much cheaper than a hotel and I get my own space, kitchen, living room etc. You're right about being able to sense the biological connection, Isaac even fell asleep on David the first night he met him. Something he has never done for anybody except for his nan and I before. It was really amazing to see. Yep I will be sad to leave, I always said I didn't want to be one of these people who falls in love with Africa, but there is just something about the place. It gets into your heart whether you want it to or not! Your comment re babywearing inspired me to write a blog about it, something I have been meaning to do for a week. So my reply to you is very long, and is here :)

Hi ladies,

Bec - cool blog - I love the pics! My experience has been the exact opposite to some of your observations!! - I think because I live in such a small town and right in town so I never use my car so the pram has become like a replacement car! I actually purchased a close baby carrier (and it cost more than my second hand pram) but Pearl hated it - ended up loaning it to my SIL and her baby loved it! Hopefully this next bub will like it! I also did quite a bit of research before buying my pram and it is really easy to manouvere and I take it everywhere - the beach (all the time) and we often walk through the golf course - I don't think I have ever been stuck somewhere that I couldn't go. As for stuff - pushing the pram means I can load my shopping or library books into it (which I do every day) and hang my handbag off it so I am pretty much hands free if I want to be. I have tried other prams and found them hard to manouver so I think I am pretty lucky. I am tossing up getting a double pram for #2 or just strapping the bub to me and leaving P in the pram so I can keep the one I have (she will be 20months when bub is born but still hates standing so I don't think she will be a great walker by then - any thoughts ladies?)


This is my fifth day straight of working and I am over it! Tired as because of this stupid cough that is keeping me awake at night - can't wait for a day off tomorrow so I can spend a bit of time with P and have a snooze when she does in the arvo.

Chuckie - that's such a shame your carrier didn't work out for you, there are so many other benefits besides convenience! Did you watch the video I linked? The one that I think must have been taken with a small camera on the babies head? Amazing. And I'm in the same position as you too, small town with no car. I choose not to have a car as I prefer to save my money so I can travel, and I'm close enough to town (20 mins walk) that I can walk everywhere I need to go, including to do my grocery shopping. I usually go to either the library, shop, park or pool every day, with Isaac on my back. If I am going to buy more than a couple of bag fulls of stuff I take a granny trolley! Don't laugh, they can be cool haha.. And wow you take your pram to the beach! Must be a super duper pram.. I think I would stick with that one instead of getting a double one, I imagine it would be very hard to find a double one as good as that. Hopefully your next bub will like being worn more than Pearl did, might save your sanity at home too, getting stuff done etc and no wasting time settling the little one to sleep. Hope you have a fantastic restful day off :)

I seem to have been lost for a while... not sure why, but haven't gotten any of the email notifications recently.

Anyway, we're back from our holiday. It went well but Hannah got sick while we were away with the flu ( poor kid had a nasal swab) and fevers on and off since.

All going ok with the pregnancy. I am exhausted and nauseated all of the time. I carry a bucket with me when I drive and have a sick bag in my nappy bag. Not had to use it yet.... FX, and FX the nausea eases soon.

Bec - I will go back over some posts and see how you've been going and then write some more.

Chuckie - GL with your early Dec scan and don't work too hard.....

hello to everyone else.

Hi ladies,

Dory - great to hear from you - I was getting a bit worried that everything was alright with you when you hadn't posted - I even tried to stalk you in the belly buddies group but couldn't find your group! That nausea sounds horrible - I have had a pretty easy time of it this time around - not sure if that is good news or not!

AFM - I decided early on only to tell people I would tell if the worst happened and last week had to take DD to the hospital because she broke out in a rash - so I was standing in the hallway talking to the nurse and a young hos worker came up behind her and listened in while I explained that I was concerned because I was preg etc. The next thing I know this young workers' mother (who runs the newsagent - small town!) is saying congratulations to me while I am buying the paper - I was pretty annoyed about the lack of confidentiality and am still considering complaining to the hospital.

Last week was horrible at our house because we all had bad bouts of gastro - I was puking for almost 24hrs and was starting to get worried about the bub but the mw let me know it would take what it needed first so it would have been fine. Feeling heaps better this week but already feeling butterflies in my tummy about the thought of the scan next friday - we are now driving the 300km each way there and back in one day adn I have moved the scan forward to 11:30am. Part of me wants it over and the other part almost doesn't want to know in case of bad news. Time seems to be flying by though and DH's family are arriving tomorrow so the time should go even faster while we are busy with them so I am sure it will be here before I know it. If I do get good news I am going to finally start feeling excited about this bub. I did get some good news this week when I learned my contract is going to be extended which means all going well I can claim my full mat leave entitlements - woo hoo!

Hi Dory, I was wondering how you are going. Hopefully the nausea doesn't last, yuck. Where did you go for your holiday?

Chuckie - Oh wow I can't believe the hospital worker did that, there has to be some kind of privacy/confidentiality thing she has broken there. I would definitely complain. Good luck for your scan x

Not much here, except I want to be back in Tanzania. I've proabably already said this but I'm looking into the possibility of subletting or getting a house sitter for 3 months then going back early next year. Lots to think about..

Chuckie - oh sweetie, gastro is just so miserable. It was hard enough before kids, and when you have to look after a turbo toddler, it makes it even harder. We all got a bout in June this year, and it was the illest I have been, not much vomiting for me, but I never have been cursed with that. But OMG, the fevers, the shakes, the delerium, the aches, the headaches, plus the squirts and the intense nausea made it a miserable time. So I feel for you all getting sick. Just glad you're on the mend. I hope all goes well with your scan, so understandable to be nervous. A long way to drive too. Hope Pearl goes OK on the trip - does she travel ok?

Bec - are you a little miserable to be back in Aus? I had forgotten about your blog and when i read it yesterday, I just fell in love with the pic of Isaaac fast asleep on your back in his ergo. H has never really loved being worn byme. She loves it with DH. It's more that she tolerates it for a while. HTough I must do it enough as the Obs receptionist said she was surprised to see H in the stroller when we went in last week. I still do it, but not as much lately. I haven't been going out much ( hehe) and also the nausea is a disincentive to wear H either on the front or back. I really don't want to wear her whilst I am vomiting, worst case, or just generally when I feel so off colour. Anyway, anyone would think I have vomiting on the brain. I think you should go back to Tz. I know that's where your heart is, and you'd regret if you didn't go. Just make sure your lease allows you to sublet. I would be worried if I was still the head leasee, because if the person who's subletting does the dirty and not pay the rent, then you are legally up for it. But maybe I am just a worrier. We went to Melb and then on to Lakes Entrance area to see my Dad for his 70th birthday. It was freezing while we were there - about 14-17 and raining and windy. Then we come back to Qld to a heat wave - by comparison - 30 degrees for about 3 weeks. We did a little touring around while we were there and went on a great cruise through the Lakes - H loved being on the boat. Then we spent a few days in Melbourne with some friends. We didn't get out and about too much - my fatigue/nausea and H was coming down with something ( which ended up being the flu, poor kid was so sick and ended up having a nasal swab which ruled out whooping cough and some others, but confirmed the flu, officially para influenza 3).

Anyway, yesterday morning was a complete parenting FAIL for me. I was uncharacteristically short tempered and frustrated with H most of the morning, though it felt like all day. From my perspective all she seemed to do was whinge, and then she didn't sleep when I so desperately needed a sleep yesterday. I spoke to her in a harsh voice about 50% of the time, and at one point I picked her up and told her she had to stay away from me for a while as I was very angry. I also wasn't very compassionate when she would fall over, and once I even swore under my breath when she did. I also broke down and cried a couple of times. So all was not right with me yesterday. Thankfully a friend was coming over in the arvo and before she came H and I had a shower together, and that in combination with the company and yummy treaties seemed to lift both our moods. Thank goodness for friends, even when they don't realise the gift they have given you - sanity. I am wondering if it's the preg hormones? That sort of mood and the crying is very out of character for me. I cried because H split water for goodness sakes. So I didn't cover myself in glory yesterday, but we got through. I just feel disappointed in myself for being so harsh and not being able to find a way through it.

We have decided to splurge and get H a trampoline ( small one on special $89 at toys r us). Our friends in Melb had one and she loved it. We figure there are swings in the parks nearby, but a trampoline can be something special for home. And a wading pool. I've just been giving her a bowl with some water in it to splash in on hot days. Saw an inflatable wading pool that can also double as a ball pit. The handy thing is it's portable and easy to store. I am worried about sharp cat claws and something inflatable though......

Oh another factor to the parenting FAIL yesterday. My friend bought me flowers, and they had lilies in them. Lily's are deadly to cats. I forgot and left them on the bench. DH saw one of the cats chomping on the lily.... so he threw out the lily. He said there were teeth marks all over them. Why do they find the things they can't have irresistable? Well the good news is that each of the cats is alive and wasn't ill during the night. Phew. I just plain forgot about how dangerous the lilys were.

Anyway, I have rambled enough, time to try and nap.

Dory - your holiday sounds like it was great. Yep, I have had days exactly like your 'fail' day, it is such an awful feeling. I think I over did the cuddles afterwards when I was back to normal again. I hope you are feeling a bit better now :hug:

Thanks, yeah I am a bit miserable being back, such a huge lifestyle chnage. I was only there for a month but I kind of got used to the socialising, volunteering and having staff at home to make things a lot easier for me. Now I'm back here, no social life except for baby related things and going to the shop, and having to do every single little thing myself again. I am exhausted, tired, lonely and bored!

I just want to write about something here, I can't write about it anywhere else as it contains info that is very private but I really need to get it out. I have had a very sad couple of days, trying to process some very upsetting news. When I was in Tz, one of the house mamas from the organisation I used to volunteer for passed away. She was also a good friend, someone I had gotten to know pretty well and loved very much. The last time I seen her was at the craft workshops I ran, about two weeks before she died. It was a mystery as to how she died, she was only 33 with three young children the youngest being only around 3 or 4 years old. Anyway, I found out the reason yesterday and I am just so upset, sorry I have to keep stopping to wipe the tears away. She was HIV+ and possibly had known for a few years. She didn't tell anybody. She didn't ask for help, she didn't take any medications and she died from stage 4, which means her HIV status had progressed to AIDS. I am finding this incredibly hard to deal with, how she lived with this knowledge but refused to seek help. It must have been so hard for her, so hard for her to accept, that she just denied it, probably in the hope it would just go away. I don't know, and we'll never know. One of the other mamas is HIV+ but hasn't told anyone apart from the volunteers who need to know (health vols), she receives medical assistance and will probably go on to live many more years. I just wonder if she had of made her status known to the others, then her close friend may still be alive today? We'll never know. My friend who was the health manager there is taking it very hard, and kind of blaming herself for not picking up any signs. But at least her children now have a safe place to stay (instead what they were living in when the organisation found them, something equivelent to a backyard shed in Aus but not quite so luxurious) and are being looked after by the close community there, they are able to continue schooling, something the older two would have had to stop in order to do something for money to support themselves. So some help has been done, but now the kids don't have a mama because of the stupid stupid stigma attached to this disease.

Oh another thing I wanted to ask about.. lately when Isaac is feeling frustrated or upset, usually if I take something away from him that he is not allowed to play with or bring him inside (he loves being outside), he will cry. I can see how he would be feeling mad, angry and frustrated that I have stopped him from the fun thing he was doing. I also know that his immature brain can't process these kinds of emotions yet as they are all so new to him. My understanding, as I see it, is that he cries because he is learning about how to deal with all these new feelings, he just can't process the strong emotion in any other way yet. So my (probably silly) question is, is this what you would call a 'tantrum'? Do you see this as 'bad behaviour' or do you try to help them through it?

What I have been doing (and please don't tell me it is wrong), it's just what I feel I should do, is to hold him and let him cry. I let him get it all out and make sure he is feeling comforted at the same time.

Bec - that is so sad about the mama... who knows if telling people would have helped, I guess you'll never know. It's such a hard thing for us to understand here in a world where we rely so much on medicines and doctors etc - but at the same time we also have illness here that people are too scared to talk about and have stupid sigmas attached to them. It's something that goes on everywhere, and is definitely a crappy situation. If there was a simple solution the world would be a much better place for us all and for our kids. I don't really have any words to make you feel better about it, it's a tragedy to lose anyone so young.

As for what you are doing when Isaac cries, I would consider that to be the 'right' thing (whatever right is). When George does that I tend to try and give him a cuddle and say 'I know you really want to do that but we have to do this now'. I then try to distract him so that he forgets about it, and he usually does pretty quickly, unless he is in a stubborn mood then it takes a little more persuading and distracting.
I wouldn't however call that a tantrum... George has only had a couple of tantrums - I feel like a tantrum is a bit more than just a bit of a cry. When George had what I called a tantrum he was on the ground crying and screaming, and when I tried to pick him up, his body was all rigged and he didn't want to be held. He just sat there flapping his arms and screaming. I think a tantrum is a bit more of an episode where they are being dramatic and trying to get your full attention and their frustration gets the better of them. I also think depending on their age, characteristics of tantrums change, obviously as they get better at communicating it probably includes more talking or yelling.
Taking a toy away just results in a little cry, which is there way of saying 'hey, I want to keep playing with that, why did you take it away?' Why is why I like to try and explain to him why I did etc. I definitely don't see it as bad behaviour, he has no other way of communicating at this point.

Thanks Connie, it's still very sad to think about. I am certain though that if she had told the health worker at the childrens village (where she lived) she would have been put on medication which would have allowed her to live longer. Thanks for your words, it is a huge tragedy.

About the crying, yes a couple of times he has collapsed himself onto the ground and cried very loudly and when I picked him up his back was arched and stiff, I think that's what I was talking about but my mind was on other things so I didn't explain properly. No arms and legs flailing though, but still a much worse cry than he has cried before.

Does anyone else use baby sign language? I'm just starting with it..

All is fine here, oh Isaac has done two wees in his potty! Poos were always easy to catch but I had never caught a wee until last week so feeling pretty happy about that :D

hey everyone,

Had been reading but slack posting.

Bec - so sorry to hear about the HIV+ mama, taht is so very sad :hug:. I was following details of your trip & it sounded fabulous. HOw is it going back in Aus now? And no I haven't tried baby sign language.

Connie - how is handsome george?

Dory - how are you feeling now? How is everything going?

Chuckie - that's terrible about that hospital worker! So wrong. Did you end up putting in a complaint? Hope you're feeling good.

AFM well it's been a hectic few months with DH dizzy again and I was finding it really hard. I took a bit of a break from BB, cos I was just struggling mentally with lack of responses (to other threads - not this one). Anyway, he's on different meds and they're finally working albeit very slowly. I had my mum over here for a few weeks in Nov to help out as we had some big things on (X"s repeat allergy reviews - OMG I hate them more than anything in the world), and he obligingly had gastro while she was here. I was also crook in Oct which didn't help anything. Anyway, it was wonderful to have her here & not be doing everything. At present we're looking forward to Xmas & enjoying DH getting slowly back to normal, but there's still some adjustment going on. He was dizzy last Xmas so it's great that he's at least a little better this year. Kids-wise - Annika still isn't walking but she's up & cruising and a very speedy crawler. She's a cheeky little chatterbox and eating SO much it does my head in. Breakfast is usually at least 1 piece of toast, maybe some fruit and an adult serve of porridge! Gutzahontas! She wants all of X's toys and he doesn't want her to have them - so it seems like I'm perpetually in world war 3 which drives me nuts at times. Can't seem to turn my back for 1 second arrrgh. So saying I'm hopefully they'll start to settle down soon. She certainly learning much younger than X did to fight for what she wants! She'll yell at him & give him a big stiff arm when he tries to get in her space. It's rather a crack-up actually as I remember X at the same age was a very quiet gentle little soul. I can really see that the 2nd child learns so much more at a young age! They're both still great at daycare which is fab. They smile & wave as I go, I'm so lucky to have that.


Anyway, hope everyone is going well! take care

Belfie - oh what a rough couple of months you've had. Poor DH, and you with him being dizzy. Hopefully these meds stop it completely. Poor X with gastro. We had it here about 2 weeks ago. What is involved with repeat allergy tests - is that where they put various substances on the kiddies arm, and then wait for a reaction? So it can be nothing, a skin reaction or full on vomiting? I saw something like that on the tv once. Looked awful for all involved. Hugs. Glad to hear Miss A is doing so well. HB is a big eater too.

Bec - I have been meaning to reply for ages to your post about the HIV mamma who died but lived in silence with her illness. Who knows why she didn't share the load? Maybe she's not that type of person and would have thought people would have pitied her and didn't want that? She might have been stubbornly independent. She might have had concerns about the stigma. She might have just accepted, perhaps naively that her reality was what it was and decided to just live while she could. After all she wasn't niaive about the hardships of the disease, as there are many around her living both with support and without. Who knows? I am just sorry that your friend died, and that you felt that you could have done something more. I don't think you could have. She was an adult and she made the decisions she made, for reasons we'll never know. I am just glad that her kids have some support in her absence and that you got to know her and that part of her light now lives on through you.

Hmm, who know's why people don't share loads? I am one of them today, well IRL. I am very teary and have spent most of the past 2 hours in tears. I argued with DH, I think for good reasons, but ultimately something is not right in my world right now. So instead of reaching out for help, I have decided to stay home and just see where this takes me. I suppose in a way I already reached out for help to DH and was rebuffed. I honestly think that sometimes, the only person you can rely on is yourself. Well I do think that today. In a perfect world DH's responses to me would have been different, but they were what they were. But then I am not giving anyone else the chance to help, so it's not fair to say that is it? I don't feel that no one cares, just more that I don't want help with how I am. I need to know whether it's just something that's passing ( it would be great to blame pregnancy hormones) or something more serious. I am not in such a state that I am a danger to either myself or HB. Interestingly though HB is playing quietly and one of the cats is very insistent that I give him some pats..... Anyway, on a lighter note, I guess I found a way to get DH to work earlier than normal? I'll bet he stays at work later too. Best to avoid the crazy lady.

Had a parenting fail moment last night. As HB was getting out of the bath she slipped and hit her head, right in front on me, milimetres from my outstretched hands. I swore out of sheer fright, as I thought she had split her head. She hadn't and was seemingly ok and not concussed and no teeth knocked out. Phew. We had lots of nice snuggles after wards, and she stopped crying fairly quickly. I know accidents happen, but I just felt like I had failed her. And that damn bruise and egg on her head is a very obvious reminder of the incident.

Anyway, I could waffle on for hours. We do some signing but it's not an official one, just one we've made up, but HB tends to want to just point and gesture at the things she wants and say no or push away if it's not the right one. So I supose I do signing and HB does her own thing. LOL. I think that's the way of it around here. Very independent little girl, at times.

I hope everyone is having a nice preparation for Christmas.

Thanks Belfie, all is going ok now back in Aus but feeling the isolation so much more. Even though I was only in Tz a month, I got used to having lots of people around me and help around the house and help with Isaac. Going from that to nothing at all is hard to get used to. I hope your DH gets less dizzy soon, it must be so hard. I remember seeing a pic you had put on facebook of X's allergy testing, and OMG that must be so awful. I never realised what was involved, those scratches looked like they would have hurt a lot :(

Dory - thanks, I guess we will never know why the mama chose not to tell anyone about her HIV status. I'll always believe we could have done something though, the volunteers were there, in particular a health professional who thought she had the complete trust of all the mamas, to provide her with medical support, she would have had access to medicine to live a much longer life.

Sorry you have had a bad day, pregnancy hormones to tend to be pretty crazy. I even get like that sometimes and I'm not pregnant, but usually just before AF is due. Sometimes a good walk outside does wonders. How are you feeling now? How is HB's head after her fall? Poor bub, I hope her bruise has gone away.

We do the same with signing, Isaac hasn't really picked up any, he knows what I mean though but he'd rather point or push something away, or make a certain noise. I'll keep trying though. I think he has signed 'eat' a couple of times, but wanting boob not food. I don't do the 'milk' sign as much as I should so maybe that's why he signed 'eat' instead.



I know I can't really complain as I have chosen to do things the way I do, but it's not easy! Mum only comes around maybe once a week now, so I'm not getting much support. Isaac is such an energiser bunny, sometimes he doesn't have a day time nap so I am constantly on the go with him. So hard when I am sewing.. today for example, I checked my emails this morning and there was an order for something in my madeit shop so I went to get it from the spare room. I turned the room upside down twice, and could not find it. So that meant I had no choice but to make another one.. not something I had planned so we missed out on playgroup, and Isaac wanted to 'help' me by turning the sewing machine off at the wall mid-seam every two minutes. Kitchen was a mess, it was hot, I was feeling anxious about getting this order finished, and I just couldn't get on top of anything all day. So sometimes I think about going against my values and putting Isaac into childcare one day week for a bit of a break, but I just can't do it. It's not all bad though, don't get me wrong.. I absolutely love being able to play with Isaac when he wants to play, laying down with him when he wants a feed or a nap, having silly lunch time 'conversations' and singing and dancing with him, watching him discover new things in the garden every day.. Why does this time go so fast?? I want it to slow down. It is such an amazing incredible time, seeing his little person learn so much. I consider myself so very lucky to be able to be at home with him while he is small (I never could have done this when I was married.. mortgage, investment property, two cars and an expensive lifestyle would have meant I would be back at work by now). To see the world through his eyes right now would be just wonderful. Ahh I never realised I could love someone so much :D

Hi Ladies,

I hope everyone had a nice Christmas with your families!

I’d just like to say goodbye to this group and BB. I don’t think I really need to though, I don’t think anyone is really reading now anyway. I’ll also be leaving the BB facebook group, and I have unsubscribed from all threads here so I won’t be tempted to return by email updates. I feel like something has to go in this new year, and I really don’t have time for reading things that don’t really apply to me, and the mentions of some of the more extreme mainstream parenting practises (mainly on facebook and other threads on here) makes me sad sometimes, so I’m trying to steer clear of such places, online and in real life. Mainly though, I am trying my best to practise mindfullness, and be more present in each moment. The time while Isaac was small went by so fast in a haze of sleep deprivation and lifestyle adjustment so I am trying to make up for that now, which means I want to spend less time on the computer and other distracting things.

Just want to say thank you for being a great group where I could come and vent, it was nice to have a place to come to to get things off my chest. I have found a wonderful attachment parenting community which is helping me a lot now. Plus I have almost everyone on facebook, and I’ll look forward to seeing your babies grow. Dory, I will email you, I hope you and HB are well.

One last thing before I go and give Isaac a bath. If you have any single mum friends, please please take care of them! Please don’t unintentionally insult them by assuming they ‘must be used to being alone’, it is hard hard work having to do everything on your own. I used to be married, and I know sometimes your partner can sometimes get on your nerves, say the wrong things, and not pull their weight around the house, BUT they are there for you. They are there to listen, they can read your child a story before bed, maybe bath them, put them to sleep sometimes, give you five minutes break here and there when you desperately need it, even if they don’t do any of that they are there for you to talk to once bub is in bed. Even simple things like picking up a loaf of bread on their way home, or watching the baby while YOU go to the shop for 15 minutes on your own. If they happen to go away without you, you know theyb are there will listen to you whinge if you call them on the phone who will know exactly where you are coming from. They are also there for you to bounce ideas off, to discuss plans and talk about your babies future. Not having that kind of support is incredibly hard, I never appreciated just how hard until Isaac arrived. Thank the gods above I haven’t been sick since becoming a mum, I don’t know how I’d get through the day if I did. No sane person would ever willingly choose to be a single mum unless there was good reason. So please just remember your single friends if you have any, even just a text message on the weekends, especially during the holiday break (when all partnered people are doing family stuff, and usual activities are having a break) to say hi and see how they are going will be appreciated, I’m sure.

That said, becoming a mum to Isaac is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He makes me so happy, I am in awe of him, all the new things he is learning every day. I never thought I would be a mum. I am so glad I have simplified my life so much that I don’t need to work.. this time just goes way too fast and I don’t want to miss a thing. In my situation, as a single mum I feel it is so much more important for me to give him a stable toddlerhood as I possibly can, and that involved staying at home with him until he goes to school. I hope that doesn’t make me the stereotype non-working single mum! But I can’t even think about other constant adults in his life being child care workers I hardly know who can change jobs, go on holidays and be replaced by strangers, so forgoing a bigger house, nice things, a car and so much more, means I don’t have to work. Plus having decent savings helps to fall back on thanks to my past life of marriage, mortgage, nice car, promising career etc. (Please, I am not judging those of you who need to use childcare, just going off on a probably unnecessary rant reflecting on my personal situation and explaining myself.. I feel the need to do that sometimes even if no one is really judging me) I’m lucky also that I can keep busy with my little business, so if you ever need a nice blanket, eco-friendly toys or other random things you know where to find me 

Sorry for the long rant, I guess its my last one here I might as well make the most of it!

Take care, and all the best for the new year! xox

Gee it has been a while since I was on here and logged on to discover Bec has left our little group.

I know you are probably not reading this Bec but I for one will miss you, particularly because of your gentle approach to parenting. After your inspiration I am looking into getting an Ergo carrier for the times we can't be bothered lugging the pram around (usually in Adelaide etc). I can totally understand needing to make more time to be Isaac's mama - we also live a pretty simple life so that I don't have to work much - our bubas are only bubas for such a short amount of time after all. Feel free to drop in here when you need to (I usually ignore the BB comments on fb myself). I think ypu are doing a great job with Isaac and raising an adventurous little traveller who will probably grow to become a citizen of the world!

Hopefully everone had a lovely Christmas - we just got back from a loooong 2 weeks in Adelaide with DH's HUGE family and all the events that entails - nice to catch up with them all but it's not the same as seeing my own family and enjoying my own traditions (DH's Christmas lunch involves a hot roast with 43 people!)

We all cooled it on the presents this year and focussed on the kids which was great for the bank balance and stress levels - I think with more and more kids in the family each year we will continue to cut back on adult presents. My highlight was a dustbuster! which is a sad state of affairs I know! Great for trying to teach a 16month old to eat on carpet!

We are heading back to Adelaide at the end of the month and then I am travelling to Mel to visit family and on to a wedding in Tassie - when I get back I will only have a couple of months at work before going on mat leave again which seems bizzare! I am pretty lucky to be getting another round of full time leave (hopefully) although I am not back at work full time. Not sure what I will do after this bub though as my contract is due to expire at the end of Dec 2012 so we will wait and see - hopefully my little at home writing business will continue to pick up between now and then.

Pearl continues to grown and do all the right things - she now has about a dozen teeth (after months of having just 7 she got heaps all at once), she still is resitent to any sort of walking but is getting better (slowly) at standing so she is at last on the way. She has started to say more words and has perfected saying sauce and cheese as well as Lois which is our dog's name.

Am enjoying feeling reassuring kicks from the bub most days now and putting up with pregnancy hayfever again but other then that I am very well this time around.

Dory, Belfie, Connie, Wite - HI!

Chuckie - good to hear from you. You sound super busy. I have no idea how you work and parent and be pregnant. This pregnancy is really knocking me around. I am just sooo tired all the time. OMG, I almost fell over when you said 43 people.... that is huge. By comparision our group of 11 sounds small. Pearl sounds like she is doing well. Her words sound advanced too. How's the house coming along? well done on getting some more mat leave. You must have your 20 week scan soon? Mine is 13 Feb. And so many teeth - we're up to 10 here, though more are on the way jugding by the chewing that is going on.

Hannah seems to have a few words that are very clear, and then a whole heap of sounds that she says consistently for things, but not what we can understand. Somewhat bizzarely her favourite word is knee, followed by blue. She understands some fairly complex instructions. She loves the cats and squeals with delight every time she sees them, and they just scarper when she squeals. She adores dogs, and will always point out a real one, a picture or a fake one ( the guide dog money collection statues) by making a woof woof sound and pointing. We don't have a dog, so I wonder where the fascination comes from?

Connie - I somehow missed the post about George swimming - how is he doing now? H went through a patch where she wasn't enjoying the lessons but still loved the water. It's all back to normal again now. Phew.

They do all walk in their own time. Hannah has been walking since early November, after we got back from a trip to Melbourne. It is actually really handy now she walks, it means less heavy lifting for me, and it she can get things for her self, which is handy for those days when I can't summon much energy.

Anyway, I am wondering how the rest of this arvo is going to go. Hannah has had no sleep today. She was yawning and looked tired this morning so I put her down, and she spent half hour quietly in her cot, but no sleep. Same this afternoon. FX that the doesn't just lose it later. Early dinner and bed, we've been a little slack whilst Daddy's been home on holidays, out doing things instead of being at home at dinner/sleep time.

Take care