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ok, and now you have me sobbing happy tears MD. Your words have brought me alot of comfort. from the aura shield idea...(duh, why'd i not think of that??!!) to the school. I think I do need to have more faith in our little family to help guide her through. and it is by no means a poxy school...just different ITMS. I guess if we keep reiterating our values then it might just work out.
Extra hugs :hug: :hug: :hug:
Cass, sorry your family are being ****s. My words of wisdom are nowhere near as lovely as MD's, but I find it helps to remember that some people are just ar$eh0les.
And again MD is far wiser and right on the money on the school front. :)
I am preemptively with you on the foot stamping about making new social circles. Part of me just can't be bothered really. I already think I won't get so heavily involved with the kindy/playgroup scene. But I have to do something or I am going to be hanging out with the IL's a lot!
MD, W was like that with the anxiety - appears fine and dandy to everyone else but bottles it up. He seems to be loads better now and it really only presents when we are somewhere different (i.e. my hell trip to hometown the other week).
Thank goodness daylight savings ends this weekend. It is good while it is good but these last couple of weeks have really dragged - everyone keeps sleeping in and then the morning routine is rushed even more than usual and then they won't go to sleep until late.
I'm with you both on the footstamping too. Arte, it's still worth getting in on the playgroup/kindy stuff, even if you're more selective about it, because some of those networks transfer over to the school as well. And if not that, think about if there are any interests you would like to develop, or some ways in which you can volunteer. Everyone *loves* volunteers and there are lots of social benefits to that too.
Good to hear W is less prone to anxiety now - it's tough all round I think.
Also pleased that it's the end of daylight savings. It's my pettest pet hate - it saves absolutely bloody nothing & in fact actually costs us more (extra hour of cooling every afternoon all summer long = big buckaroos to the electricity suppliers). GAH. But the weekend we get the hour back is the one I love the most :heartbeat:.
Getting excited today, we're going to the movies to see the Lego Movie, and I've bought some new Lego goodies as well. Everything is AWESOME!!! LOL
MD, you will have to tell me if the lego movie is good. One of the good things about new town is that it has a movie theatre. We can actually go to the movies without it being an expensive day trip.
Well, just when you think you are winning something seems to come and slap you in the face. My friends across the road that have a daughter going to W's school and that we car pool with have decided to homeschool and A was visiting today and I found out W was part of the reason. Apparently he is the leader of the boys and the school bully :( I had no idea and it was a big kick in the guts. He was bullied quite badly last year and those kids have gone now and it seems he has filled the gap. We had a talk and he said he didn't ever think about it making them sad. I am really failing at this motherhood thing. I have absolutely no idea how to teach him normal social behaviour. The lack of empathy is astounding. The other week apparently he was playing tug of war with this girl, let go of the rope and then when she whacked her head on the wall he laughed! What kind of kid does that! What kind of mother raises a kid like that! I am in over my head and have no idea what to do with him. Around adults he is a lovely kid, it is just the kids that are slightly younger and in particular girls that he is horrid to.
In other news, W lost his first tooth today.
Jeepers, Arte! What? Have you done a reality check against the allegations? Like, talking to the school about it? And checking that it's not an overreaction from the neighbour, it wouldn't be the first time that ever happened. It might be less about W and more about the dynamic at the school. FWIW children aren't born knowing what social behaviours are appropriate, that stuff is learnt over a number of years. It's definitely not a reflection on your parenting, but you might need to put some interventions in place, to tackle the behaviour that the neighbour has called bullying (if it persists) and teach the empathy skills that you're worried about. It's good, in a way, that you've heard about this now, so that you're armed with this info when you move. And there will be a fresh lot of resources near the new town for you to tap into for strategies, maybe another assessment down the track if you're still worried.
I don't know if I ever told you about the social problems H had - it all came to a head while I was pg (and incapacitated). Basically, she was rocking her own brand of H uniqueness, but she was singled out by the other kids for not conforming to whatever narrow idea a bunch of 9 year olds think is "normal" and was progressively excluded to the point of nearly complete ostracisation (with lots of nastiness as well). I had the extended "I'm failing" moment for the better part of 18 months - until we moved, changed schools, and suddenly she wasn't an outcast any more. The kid didn't change, she wasn't the problem. It was the dynamic at that school that was the problem. H is still a bit quirky, but here the kids understand difference is a strength, and she has a whole posse of weird friends as well as some admiration from some not-weird ones because of the way she values their individuality.
Anyway, that's my very long and rambly way of saying there's always more to it than your imaginary mummy-fail!! :hug:
Thanks MD. I was just coming in here to delete/update. Of course I only ever find out about anything on a Friday so all you can do is stew on it all weekend. But after talking to his teacher who was unaware until friends pulled their daughter from school, we think that there is probably some behaviour problems but that a lot of it was exaggerated because the dad has always wanted to homeschool so I think he was looking for reasons kwim. They are now being supervised at break time. Really though, if they were that concerned they could have talked to the school or me so it could have been monitored and fixed rather than observing for several weeks whilst leaving us in the dark. So yeah, in the end I don't think any school could be perfect enough for them because they are always comparing it to homeschool where even mild bullying isn't a possibility. They are pretty overprotective and precious with her. I have talked to W and keep reiterating that he needs to think about how his actions might affect others. On the bright side, it hasn't seemed to have damaged the friendship and their DD is here at this moment playing :)
I am sort of glad we are changing schools because as much as I love it, you are right about the dynamic. There is one older kid but he is very much a follower and all the other kids are new entrants so W is the leader. That would suit him down to the ground but he just isn't mature enough. I guess that is the downside of a very small school and something to keep in mind when picking the next school.
So anyway, bought a house, mover rebooked, all systems go. Just a couple of weeks of hard goodbyes and then onwards and upwards.
gosh you guys move fast Arte (literally lol!).
That is pretty shocking news to receive re the bullying allegations. It must of hurt :hug: No doubt the parents were already disgruntled with the school if there has been a culture of pack behaviour/bullying. The school would benefit from some closer supervision and maybe some in class discussion on feelings etc.
MD: how was the lego movie??! I have heard that it is actually pretty awesome. I cannot imagine it lol...but so many people have said it totally rocks lol.
AFM: winter is coming. first cool rainy day today. On the weekend we had a wedding at our house. a close school friend married his girlfriend and it was just gorgeous! Miss M was flowergirl and Miss L was 'photographer'. she was given a polaroid camera and in fact, took some pretty awesome shots!
Best movie EVER!!! Funny, lots of jokes for the grownups, plenty of nods to other movies etc. And the animation was pretty amazing too. 3D might be a bit overstimulating though, and it was pretty long - not sure how the under-5s would cope with it. There was a little girl sitting next to us who looked like she was about 4 - flaked out, asleep, halfway through LOL.
Arte, I thought it sounded like a parental overreaction. Still, awful to have to stew over it all weekend! Well done you finding a house, etc. is it nice? What you were looking for? When's moving day?
Cass, I saw the photos on FB - just gorgeous! It's a bit cooler here too and we're getting some rain, I found myself thinking that you are so going to enjoy seeing the seasons unfold in your new home. :)
I hope Lego movie is still running when we are next in a town. I try to avoid 3D sessions because my kids won't keep the glasses on and then it is just a big blur. A is fine at lasting through movies, but E usually falls asleep part way through. Or gets grumpy and has to leave.
Yeah, I think it was mainly a parental overreaction (on both sides lol) and it probably is going on just not to that extent. I am pretty sensitive to any criticism of him in the social area. He has come so far but is still very egocentric.
The house is alright. It is small and dated but it is on a dead end street and backs onto a huge sports ground so it doesn't feel too crowded in. One of the neighbours is apparently DH's godfather lol. We wanted somewhere with land but realistically with the girls at kindy and W at school the drop off was impractical so we will just stay in town for a few years and decide from there. Would have rented but there seems to be a rental drought - nothing in a reasonable part of town that had 3 bedrooms and allowed pets. Anyways, a house is a house. It will do the job.
Most of the way through a couple of really tough days of goodbyes. I think I have managed to cry in front of every single person I know. Everything is the last this or that and I am sort of just wanting it over and done with. Saying goodbye to everyone is really hard. We had a ladies night last night and although I requested low key, there were speeches and presents. So I cried lol. Today is the last day of kindy. During those dark, dark days when W was tantruming for hours every day and he and A were waking all though the night and my marriage was totally on the rocks, kindy saved me. A place I could go to where I knew W would be happy and quiet for a couple of hours and I could talk to grown ups, so welcoming and kind. It was my lifeline. How do you say goodbye to that?
I found you lovelies again!!
I haven't read the thread but I hope your all well. Hopefully I'll find some time to sit and read and catch up on all the goings on.
All good here just wrapping up work and counting down the weeks till number 3 arrives.
Arte - I don't know how you would say goodbye to that. Big hugs.
Oz - welcome!
Hanging out for a holiday here - I've got next week off and we're visiting family in Canberra and then having a few days in Sydney.
Cally, hope you have a lovely relaxing holiday :)
Oz, how far away is baby now? I got to hold a friends little 6 day old bub the other day and OMG I can't believe my kids were ever that tiny! The little teeny head that fits in your hand, their whole body cradled your one arm... so short a time that they are that little, it never fails to amaze me how quickly they grow in that first year. Your photos are looking beautiful btw - you really rock the whole pregnancy look. It looks mightily uncomfortable though lol
Did everyone see the blood moon? It was about the first time ever that we have managed to see one of those astro-cool things because 99% of the time it is too cloudy. It was quite impressive.
Apologies for all my whinging. I shall endeavour to be more positive :) The bright side of packing is coming across ancient things long forgotten. Today I found a letter from a dear friend, written when we were just turned 18. OMG - hilarious! It contained several references to Dawson's Creek lmao!!
Hi All - just thought I would pop in to say hello. its great to see what everyone is up to, even though we have all slowed down on our postings! I guess as the kids are all getting older there's less day to day stuff to share (in a good way)
I hope you all had a wonderful easter with your families.
We had a lovely long weekend - we did a farmstay in the yarra valley - just gorgeous and wholesome family fun. lots of time running around the farm, playing with the animals and picking fruit and herbs etc. a few longish walks which the kids loved - and the main thing was the kids really really bonded with the 2 very friendly dogs there - they have generally been scared.. so this was major. and now i am nagging DH to let us get a dog! teh school is runing this amazing dogs for life program at the moment, and i can see already how fantastic it has been for Noah. the main aim of it is noitning to do with being comfortable with dogs but it is certainly an added bonus. we also went to healesville sanctuary and on an old train ride - loads of fun. DH parents came up for a day and a night too... we all really loved it! i find it amazing how kids develop and synthesise knowledge on holidays... guess it fits with my life view of LOVING holidays!!! ( in fact i booked a trip to byron bay on a whim last night for sept/oct so w ehave lots of fun coming up!). today si thr last day of passover so tonight we are out with friends for pizza and pasta - YUMMO!
Both my boys are doing beautifully - I am a little freaked out by how grown up they are - especially N! hiow reading is amazing now, and I am also loving how into books he is. I cant help myself but buy more and more of them!!! I am reading to them chapter books they can both enjoy - we are into the famous five at the moment and its just great!
As for me, all is well. my life continues its crazy pace - but i am trying not to focus on the busyness too much. i am doing lots of pilates at the moment which i am loving. had a few really awful things happen to friends/people i know through friends health wise so a big focus on losing thje 5-10 kg i never lost and getting my head in adestressed space. and living for the moment and enjoying my family/life etc.
All in all - things are grerat with me.
Oz - I agree you are looking BEAUTIFUL! cant wait for the big announcement :-)
Cass - how are you going now? I can imagine you are the glue holding alot together. is it a little easier in the holidays when you have some mental space. how is L finding school now?
Arte - when are you moving? i know it is sad but i also feel amazed for you that leaving is hard - i remember you being 'lonely' when you moved there - so i imagine you will soon make new friends where you are going too. i also know from here that you will be great at keeping in touch from afar! (not sure all that came out right)
Hi MP! I have been watching your adventures on FB - the family song was very cool!
Moving next week, but the furniture truck is here on Thursday. Have a mountain of boxes taking up half the lounge atm. Yeah, I have been reflecting on my sadness at leaving. It has only really been the last year or so that I have built up my little network. There were some very lonely years here at the start but I wasn't in much of a position to be out meeting people with all the troubles I was having with sleep/tantrums. There are some amazing people that I have been lucky to know but I am sure that I will meet more in the new town.
After all these years of kids it looks like we are up for the first round of antibiotics ever. A had a massive festering lump on her toe that the Dr drained today. The amount of yuck that came out of it! Puke!!
Cass, I need all the road trip tips I can get! Anything that was especially successful? Turns out A can recite entire Peppa Pig episodes, not sure I want to listen to that for 1000kms lol.
hi everyone
hope you are all doing well ans coping with the cold! Oz - i fyou are in here ay all best of luck - looks lke you are ready for number 3. so exciting!
Arte - have you mved yet? how did it go??
all is well here.... boys are grrat. we are struggling with j fussy eating, so are in week one of a star chart. so far he is an angel. just shows how much of it is his stubborn nature. must take after DH! lol.
work for me is really hectic... but i must say DH and I are so happy generally. we were just sayig the kids are getting easier, family time is wonderful, both careers going well. we are busier than ever but really happy. it is a good feeling. thnk dh is ceratin there will be no number 3. so now i am asking for at lest puppy! lol. though he does have a point that i dont have much time sparre for it, woudl itbe that fair?
nt knw if i told you that our nanny left a month or so ago after 2 years. very sad. she is just finishing her degree and has a lot of contact hours b\pkus a big oseas trip planned so the time was right. we have a new one and so far it is oging well. but the boys had our old one for 2 years so it is an adjustment of course. but
o far so good and i think she will work out well. she is off oseas too for 6 weeks in june.... hmmm.. coincides with dh being away for 3 weeks and my in laws on a cruise. stressed mumma alert soon!
we are off to indonesia for a holiday at the end of june too. we are doing one week in flores which is more adventurous (including Komodo dragons!) and then a week ina nice resort with friends in bali. cant wait!better go, i am on schol drop off tod
y. xxx
ps sorry for spelling, no time to correct anf prefer to come say hi!!!