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thread: Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

  1. #163
    BellyBelly Member

    Feb 2007
    3,734

    Re: Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

    hi everyone :-)
    Arte - sounds like a tough time again for you. I hope the appt on wednesday goes well, what kinds of things are they giving you to help cope and to help poor w who must struggle with what he is feeling? Sounds like A is also having a rough time of it, are you seeing someone re a diagnosis for her and what will this then kick off>\? sorry for all the questions. i dont know a lot about it all, but i just hope you are getting the support you need, it must be really tough to manage. I know I find J a bit of a tough one sometimes, and i am not dealimg with anything like what you decsribe. big hugs to you.
    is miss E starting preschool soon? i imagine it will be good when you gt some time to yourself :-)



    Cass I am also so sorry to hear about your Opa, I remember how close you are. it is really tough. looks like you are having a great country life, are you feeling more serttled there? sounds like the school decision needs to be made, what do you mean re the values? i agree tho the culture at school really does impact in a big way. i a noticing this a lot.

    poor n is having a bit of a rough time, he is such a great kid but is struggling a little bit socially, just at lunchh time. i tihnk tihs is bc all the boys play sport at lunch and he isnt into it. he has made some nice new friends (incuding a 'special' girl it seems) but its hard to watch your kids struggle a bit with their mates isnt it. it s hard as he has such high eq and is so beautiful, i just know his biggest adult strengths are his kid weaknesses itms so i dont want him to adapt too much i just want to help him through these years when footy rules from april to sept! 1 term to go...

    J is doing really well in prep. he is really ahead learning wise and picks things up so quikly. i am thinking he will start an instrumet soon as he really wants to and i am sur he will pick it up. n has been doing clarinet, i thhink j wants to do piano. gotta see how we fit that in! he still struggles with his motor skills and motor planning so we are workinf with an OT on that.

    we are off overseaes for 2 weeks on thursday - cant wait! we really need a holiday. i am jus working out what we wll do, it is going to be a mix of adventure and relaxation in a gorgeous resort at the end. aaahhhhhh!

  2. #164
    Life Member. Every Australian needs a Farmer.

    Dec 2005
    In Bankworld with Barbara
    14,222

    Re: Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

    Hi everyone! I really miss the *old days* when we had all the time in the world to talk! Life is so crazy busy for all of us now. Mamapan, the social stuff in the play ground is hard hey? I have a few kids in my class who struggle with it if they aren't sporty or are just the type to do quieter, less active things during their play time. Your trip sounds fabulous - I'm sure you'll find the perfect mix of things to do while you're there.

    I think scouts are fantastic for kids. They learn so many things and they help teach the kids to be so resilient and resourceful. My sister and one of my brothers used to do it as kids and they got a lot out of it. I think whether it be team sports or scouts/cubs/guides, it makes so much difference to the way kids feel about themselves because they feel like they belong somewhere, ITMS?

    Cass, so sorry to hear about your Opa Your little phat pony is just too cute! I love the look of sheer delight in the faces of the girls faces is so precious.

    Arte, that sucks that he's at a low point again I hope that things ease off for you and start getting better again soon. Fingers crossed you have a positive appointment with him.

    Life is so crazy here atm. Work is full on - reporting time is never fun for anyone LOL. But this week should be OK. I'm ready for the holidays more than the kids are! E has been having a few issues with girls in her dorm again, but it seems that it gets bad just before the term break and then it's OK once they have all had a few weeks away from one another. Even with only two of them here and two away life is still insanely busy. My contract has been extended to the end of the year which is fantastic. I love my little class and it would have killed me to hand them over to someone else.

    Take care xoxo

  3. #165
    BellyBelly Member

    Feb 2007
    3,734

    Re: Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

    Hi All
    Long time no write! Hope everyone is doing well and we are all just busy with our not so little ones!
    All is good with me. we had a fabulous holiday which is almost long forgotten!! kids were amazing with all the adventure and we then had an awesome relaxed week in the stunning resort. what the dr ordered.
    having a few issues with J, he is having a bit of a rough trot. i think he has some esteem issues so we are working on that. think it comes a lot from watching N achieve, going to his shows, concerts, etc and always being a step behind. he is really tough on himself! that said he is super talented and doing so well at school... so we need to balance out his perceptions.
    N is also doing well - is growing up soooo much though. he had a sleepover at scouts this weekend... bizarre feelong to leave him there... growing up and not needing me as much! :-(
    Anyway would love to hear how everyone is.. CAss i saw your FB posts about the school - whats going on? CUTE PONY! ARte how are your kids going now?

  4. #166
    2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    Apr 2006
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    Re: Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

    Hi everyone

    MP, your holiday sounds awesome! I would love to take my kids on an adventure somewhere. We had a family scout camp a few weeks back - lots of fun even though the weather was freezing. It was a great venue and the kids loved it - the campfires are quite a special thing.

    Not much happening around here. I am tired of doing double bus run - can't wait for the kids to be at the same school next year!

    Birthday week is slowly creeping around. I think I have it mostly sorted now, just waiting for a few bits and pieces to arrive in the mail. Can't believe that my little boy is turning 8!! So big now!

  5. #167
    2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

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    Re: Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

    I am not sure if anyone checks in here anymore but I thought I would throw in a little update on what is happening around here

    We have had an awesome summer. I took the kids to the North Island for 3 weeks in January and we spent days just hanging out with friends and family, a couple of nights away to catch up with an old friend, a quick trip up to our old town to visit... it was so lovely. The weather was amazing and the kids had such a good time As much as I wish I lived up there near my family, day to day living here is pretty good (won't be saying that in winter lol). We have loads of kids in the street and after school and weekends they all play - some days you have a horde of them at your house, some days you don't see the kids until tea time It is so great.

    W has moved schools and has handled it all so well! I was expecting a bit of a hard run but he was happy to go even on the first day. I have done a lot of work with the kids on accepting things we cannot change. I complained when Miss E had to take off her socks and then put her shoes back on 50m from the house the other day and she said "mum, that is just how life is sometimes" lol.
    They don't seem to be doing much in the way of actual work at school atm which I am hoping will change very soon. He is starting to get titchy at home again and I strongly suspect he is being given work that is too easy - he came home with a school journal yesterday which is well below his reading level and they haven't even started maths yet. What the teacher doesn't understand and what I will be visiting her next week about is that bored W is a freaking nightmare to live with! He needs to have work that challenges him or I am going to wear it all when he gets home.

    Miss A has just had an OT appointment after the paed appointment a couple of months back - Dr thought Dyspraxia and the OT said that she had scored poorly enough that is was pretty likely. Poor kid, she tried so hard! She was really giving it her best shot, she is just not made for ball sports lol. However, hopefully we can get some help for her because she does need to have enough balance to be able to dress herself and already she has said her friends don't let her play some games because she is too slow It sucks that things are so hard for her, and more-so that often she won't even try because she knows she won't be able to do it. We did have a day with just us doing some special stuff when we went down to her appointment which was lovely. I might try and do that a couple more times during the year.

    E is still the textbook perfect child. So sweet and caring, makes me wonder how three siblings can be so completely different!!

    I think my marriage is over. I told DH I wanted to separate when I got back from holiday. At the moment I think the dust is just settling before we decide where to go from here. Neither of us wants to be away from the kids or break up the family unit/security that they have. It is all pretty unfair on them. But in the end if I keep putting up with disrespectful/mean behaviour then I am enabling it and I refuse to set such a crappy example of marriage for my kids. As much as the thought of splitting up their family stings, the thought of W growing up to treat his partner as someone worth less than him, or for my girls to think they aren't equal to a man hurts more in the longer term. I don't know if I am doing the right thing for everyone, but I know I am doing the right thing for me. I am a better parent without the relationship stress weighing on me and I can't live my life at the mercy of someone else's moods. I am alright with it all so far - the thought of managing on a benefit isn't overly appealing and losing half the weekends etc with my kids really sucks but in my mind even that price is worth paying for freedom I do need a job though which is pretty daunting. I haven't worked for 8.5 years! I don't even have clothes suitable for working in. I have a little freak out in my mind whenever I think about it lol. Hopefully I will find something part time that is reasonably flexible because I would hate to miss out on all the school events.
    The kids don't know yet and that is a conversation I am not looking forward to at all!

    So anyway, that is what has been happening around these parts in the last little while. I would love to hear what everyone else is up to

    ETA Anydream!! It is like the end of an era!
    Last edited by Artechim; February 13th, 2016 at 08:57 PM.

  6. #168
    Life Member. Every Australian needs a Farmer.

    Dec 2005
    In Bankworld with Barbara
    14,222

    Re: Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

    Hey Arte! I'm so sorry that things aren't good with you and D, but you are bang on the money in terms of you needing to be happy and the kids needing to see positive relationships It will probably be hard for a bit, but you're a determined person so I've no doubt you'll make it work. And I think that considering all you have put up with over the years trying to parent W, that he needs to know what this has been like for you by having the kids on his own.

    That's not good about W's school. I hope they have a good reason for not getting into their maths etc yet. We get back into ours by the 3rd week to allow for testing etc to see where all the kids are at and then we're back into it again.

    Things have been really good here - absolutely flat out but in a good way. I laugh when I think of all the times people told me I must be sooooo busy when all the kids were little What I wouldn't give to have those days back sometimes, when all I had to worry about was playgroup LOL. Now I'm chasing 2 teens, a tween and a nearly 9yo for sport and school stuff, plus working full time. Having toddlers was easy!

  7. #169
    2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    Apr 2006
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    Re: Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

    I am loving the big kid stage. People still say I must be busy, while in my mind I am thinking of the 3 days a week that E is at kindy and I sit at the house waiting for home time lol.

    I have W going so well now. I went to a lot of counselling last year and learned a load of parenting strategies. Turns out a lot of the problem, along with the sensitivity from the sensory stuff, stems from the marriage issues. It didn't take the counsellors long to realise it was an abusive relationship and much of W's tantrums were because of the example of DH having no respect for me and packing big moods to get his way. Anyway, I did a huge round of time out and consequences (which DH rubbished the whole time), then after about a month the tantrums were almost gone (and DH said that he thought W had grown out of it...). There are still some behaviour issues, but more in the realm of normal rather than the living nightmare we had.

    DH is still here until we figure out what we are doing - he also got fired a month ago and there is no other work in his field in this area (if only someone wise had told him that before he moved us lol...). The kids are really settled here and I think I could stay for a couple more years, but if DH settles himself here then I might never get back home - I can't leave the area with the kids without his permission. Not sure if I should go now while the offer is on the table at the kids expense or take the risk that it would be possible in the future. I feel so much better for having finally decided to do it. I actually feel physically lighter - it surprises me every time I catch my reflection and realise I am still fat lol.
    Last edited by Artechim; February 21st, 2016 at 11:46 AM.

  8. #170
    Registered User

    Aug 2006
    On the other side of this screen!!!
    11,129

    Re: Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

    I'm ba-ack!

    Hello my lovelies. It's been ages.

    I haven't read the thread yet, but will catch up on all the news and then post again. xxx

  9. #171
    BellyBelly Member

    Feb 2007
    3,734

    Re: Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

    Hi all! I thought I'd check in and it was so nice to see there's been some chatter! I miss you all!
    Arte - you must feel good to have made that decision and whilst it is prob really rough now when you think about how many years of family are ahead this will be best for all of you in the Longer term. For me, I'd move now and put down roots where you want to be and with more family around...the kids will adapt and you'll be able to start a new with more support around you and create those happy times you all deserve. Have you spoken to the kids yet or will you wait til the details are clearer?
    I terms of working, i am sure you will adjust to it... But yes all of these changes take some getting used to. Xxxx interesting re the dyspraxia, is this confirmed? This is what I suspected for j... But paed and ot don't think so. But let's just say I understand the symptoms!

    As for me, all is going well. Boys are great - n is mr social! Tho reading past posts we are about to enter footy season so interesting to see how that goes. J is slowly becoming more social and reaching out to make friends. Both doing well academically and blossoming! Too Grown up!

    We are going to Japan in the middle of the year. Can't wait!

    Anyway, I'll try to pop on w little bit, keen to see how everyone is
    X

  10. #172
    Registered User

    Aug 2006
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    Re: Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

    Well I said I was back, and then I couldn't log in, so - here i am again LOL.

    Apologies from me for dropping off the planet there for such a long time. I hit some hard times at work, won't go into detail but it took a few months to get back on track. There was a detour that involved some neuropsych testing and formalising reasonable work adjustments for my (owning the word) disability. Around the same time, there was some violence from the next door neighbour (of course DH was away) - we were safe but it was scary and I'm a sitting duck for ptsd and the combination of stresses flipped me into hypervigilance which messed with my narcolepsy pretty badly. So it took at while to regain my equilibrium.

    Kids are good, DD1 went off to Japan last year (school trip, v.v. exciting) came home a different and far more thoughtful kid. She's in Grade 12 (CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, NO NEITHER CAN I) - still doesn't have a strong idea of the direction she wants to go in, but, hey, LIFE, she will work it out. I can't believe how mature DD2 seems to be all of a sudden (and how bratty she can still be at times too LOL) but there's some kind of developmental leap that happened last year. She's just been elected as SRC rep for the class, had to make a campaign speech and all LOL. She's just finished little A's for the year, thinking about getting her into some art classes or guides or maybe both.

    And yes we've had a total minecraft addict here too. She plays about, reads abuot it, watched youtube vidoes about it, talks non-stop. LOL.

    Arte, I want to give a massive cheer for you arriving at your decision to separate - the lack of respect = contempt which is a pretty clear signal that the love is gone. You are worth so much more than that, you deserve to be cherished and respected. I think the practical steps are probably pretty daunting, but once you get through that you'll wonder why you waited so long. xxx

    Trill and MP, so good to hear from you both. It's such a balancing act working FT, I don't know how you both do it with such style and grace. (hats off to you both). Good to hear all the kids are thriving. xxx

  11. #173
    2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

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    Re: Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

    Hey MD, great to see you

    I cannot believe that H is Year 12! She was just a little dot when this started!

    Sorry to hear you have been having trouble at work. Is that the fallout of the chemo?

    Not a lot going on here. I should be studying but somehow they have turned a really interesting topic insanely boring! So I am not really getting it done, but I must!!

  12. #174
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    Re: Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

    MP, i just got the OT report for the dyspraxia diagnoses. She scored overall at the 0.5th percentile for movement and coordination. Still absorbing that. I knew she was pretty unco, but didnt realise it was that bad. Just waiting on a the ped appointment next month for official diagnoses and to find out where to from here. They are setting up some OT sessions at school.

  13. #175
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    Aug 2006
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    Re: Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

    Hi Arte, yep, I think H was probably about the same age that E is now when I first wandered into BB-land. (Mind boggles). Carpe diem.

    Wow @ those assessment results . It'll take a while for that info to settle, but it sounds like there's already movement happening with OTs etc. As hard as it is now to hear it, it's a good thing that you know now, and A can start getting the support she needs to thrive. And (this sounds terrible but I'm going to say it anyway) the severity of those results are likely to get much more effective interventions than if she had tested with moderate or mild dyspraxia. So I hope that means she gets a really solid base of help to move forward from here.

    I scored on the first percentile - or as I like to call it, the WUNTH percentile - for one of the tests I had. That was the moment I stopped blaming my imaginary personal flakiness for the difficulties I was having, and started to digest the reality of that functional deficit. I have other areas where I tested v.high (at the top of the instrument for a couple) and I think that masked it but simultaneously makes it so much harder (personally) to swallow the loss of the ability I had. (Still a bit of grief to work through there). No doubt the chemo had an impact (+ surgical anaesthetics, steroids, the inflammatory chemicals released by the cancers, hormonal disruption, etc) but as time goes on, it's more likely to be associated with the narcolepsy. Which means it probably won't get a lot better, and could get worse. But at least now I have info and understanding, which are both powerful tools right there. And they have been powerful at work too. That whole situation was about so much more than whether I had a disability or not, it was like a giant festering boil that had to explode before it could start to get better. And explode it did. And then it started to get better. It just took a while to wade through all the puss. In the grand scheme of things, it was a blip and now I'm moving onwards and upwards.

    I'd love to know what you're studying now. You've done a few different things now haven't you?

  14. #176
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    Re: Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

    It seems the way of life that things need to get super **** before we break out and start over. I am glad that you are on an upward spin now Sorry you hit the 1th percentile. It is a shock to read those results for sure. I know that I am not as smart as I used to be. Those years of sleep deprivation have left a lasting mark and it is hard to reconcile the person that you always were with the capabilities that you now have

    I am doing some history papers now. I think I will apply for high school teaching diploma next year. I can get in with Chem degree only, but I would like to have a second teaching subject. And I really like history

    A's diagnoses isn't all bad - I was chatting with the district nurse today and mentioned Riding for the Disabled (now rebranded Riding to Develop Ability ) and she meets the criteria for sure!! So we get to play ponies I got a copy of the paed report that wasn't sent to me and he is very concerned about her tiny head. She is 85th percentile for height and weight and 2nd for head, and only because he remeasured when his first take didn't make the chart. There is concern that her brain isn't growing as it should, hence the head being smaller. But the next paed appointment is months away. Trying to get in a cancellation spot. Meanwhile, she is happy and sweet

    Looks like H might be moving back to our old town. Oh, the irony!

  15. #177
    Registered User

    Apr 2016
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    Re: Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

    Hey everyone,

    Hope it's okay to jump in! I haven't posted here before, I just registered. My oldest was born in Sept 07! Poor possum has been unwell but is on the mend now. We had a terrible night tonight getting the girls to bed because DD1 was upset in general and DD2 wanted the light off and the room to be quiet, in fact they ended up switching between bedrooms before finally ending up in their (shared) bedroom at like, 10pm because DD1 didn't want to be alone. What a pain! DD2 doesn't really have these problems, or any problems really, but poor DD1 has a lot of anxiety and it comes up in a big way at bedtime.

  16. #178
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    Aug 2006
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    Re: Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

    Hi Oliveaux - I've posted in one of your other threads. Welcome to BB and welcome to the Sept 07 thread. I think you'll find it's pretty quiet in here these days - we were a very active forum group but as our kids have gotten bigger and we've all gotten busier, the thread pace has died down.

    Arte - agree 100% about things getting super **** before the BREAK OUT! LOL It's pretty wild to think that sleep deprivation actually damages the brain structures, but it does. I know you were my long-distance sister in sleeplessness, so you have my fullest commisserations. On the other hand, I believe (really truly rooly) in neuroplasticity - my salvation - and as some elements of my cognition have dropped out, I know there are others that are stronger now than they were. Like creative, lateral thinking (replaces logic LOL) and spontaneity/impulsivity (replaces politely repressing what you think PMSL). Arte you will be a fantastic history teacher. And chemistry too. But I know you will bring your passion and wit to it and you will be awesome! Also, the ponies sound awesome, she will love that!

    AFM - all good here. We're heading into school hols, but I'm not taking any time off, because (good news) I've just moved to another work area which is a fantastic opportunity, but involves getting across lots of chunky new concepts (and oh god, the ocean of acronyms)! DH is taking a few days off, and we've got a pub hol and the rest will be vac care + juggle. Le Sigh.

  17. #179
    2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

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    Re: Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

    MD, congrats on the new/different job Sucks about the holiday juggle. That is a motivator to the teacher training - with only me it is pretty hard to juggle much lol. I don't feel like I get many replacement elements of my lowered cognitive function, just a general feeling of dumbness lol. I have been bumped to urgent for A's paediatrician appointment after talking to the health nurse because of her head size - but I have been wondering if sleeping only a couple of broken hours a night and almost never a full sleep cycle for the majority of her pregnancy impacted her brain development? Or the stress associated with that lack of sleep. I will ask the Dr when I see him (apparently urgent is sometime in the next couple of months, instead of the August appointment I was pencilled in for!). She meets the criteria for microcephaly - obviously not as extreme as the Zika virus cases but I suspect she might end up with a brain scan to see what is going on. It can't be unrelated to the dyspraxia.

    I underestimated just how hard it is separate from someone that I have spent 15 years with and raised a family with. Ultimately I still think it is the right thing, but far out it hurts! No matter how bad things were between us, we always cherished the kids together - you know that thing you do when the kids are doing something cute and you look at each other and smile? I think that I what I will miss most - having someone to share the special kid moments with. He has taken a job back where we moved from, so I am in for a rough ride for a while as the kids and I all adjust to the new lifestyle. We will find our groove

  18. #180
    Life Member. Every Australian needs a Farmer.

    Dec 2005
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    Re: Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

    Hi everyone! Welcome to you too Oliveaux! I've finally been able to get back on here - kept getting a weird message saying I'd been locked out but thought I'd try again today and got on.

    Arte, I don't think A's issues are anything to do with your pregnancy. It's more than likely just one of those random things where it happens for no reason at all. They didn't notice anything unusual with her head circ at birth did they? maybe it's something that's developed after? I hope you get some clarity on it though and it's great that they are taking it seriously and getting her further testing etc. That's really interesting about W and DH's behaviour. I'm really glad that he transitioned to the new school well and that you've got a good handle on things. Maybe once DH is not there things might really settle down for him. I have no doubt that it would be hard to end things after so long xoxo

    MD, I'm so sorry to hear that things were really crappy for you, but happy to hear you've got something new to look forward too. I hope it stays on the side of improving, and not move to the side of getting worse. You've already been through so much and your strength to stay positive through it all is inspirational. I can't believe H is in YEAR 12!! How exciting and scary all at the same time. It scares me to think that in the not-to-distant-future my babies will start leaving home on me. I can't imagine what life will be like without having them home all the time once they move into the adult stage of their own lives. How is she coping with her studies? I hope it's not been too stressful for her.

    Mamapan! great to hear from you. How exciting to have a trip to Japan to look forward to. How long are you going for? I imagine that N and A would be great mates if we all have that magical meet up LOL. He's madly into minecraft and has quite the world built so I reckon they would have lots in common.

    Things don't ever seem to change much for me - still busy and still loving it! Footy/Netball season is back in full swing and just adds to the overall crazyiness of life. Kids are all going so well! E is singing at the Sydney Town Hall next month and will be singing with Katie Noonan as part of the In Concert series. I'm flying down to watch her. So last year it was the Opera House, this year the Town Hall and now all she needs is a Schools Spectacular performance and she's achieved the Holy Trinity of School Choral singing LOL. L has decided he wants to be a high school science teacher so he feels like his life has some direction now and he knows what he has to work towards for 11 and 12. Paige is my Sporty Spice and is doing really well with her sport and has had a few rep selections for basketball and netball already this year. A is still awesome. he blows my mind with some of the things he comes out with and scarily he has my sense of humour, which both makes me proud and scared LOL. he's absolutely smashing it at school, but also just like me he lacks focus most of the time in class and so is sometimes underachieving, but is capable of it when he pulls his finger out. He's not very interested in sports at all and spends most of his time reading. I can't keep the books up to him at the moment, which I love because again, he's just like me and is a total nerd and bookworm.

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