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Oh crap Ali, that's devastating news. Maybe when you text her ask her if you can go see her but let her know there is no pressure. She may want supportive ppl there or she may not. It's so horrible this happened. I guess just be there for her when she needs to talk or just to be by her side. I will send a prayer for her.
:hug: ali, so so so sad :cry:
my BF's DS died during labour 8 weeks before DD1 was born, its was the most devestating thing that has ever happened to someone i love. when he passed away they called me to be with her, i got to see and hold her DS and was truely blesssed to have been able to meet him. its going to be a long hard road for them, i cant imagine their pain. just be there for her, offer a shoulder to cry on , make then dinners etc.. but keep your distance if thats what they want, go and visit her today if she wants visiters, she may need you there :hug:
I was thinking of going to visit her today (and have told her in a msg that I would love to meet beautiful Zara) if she would like visitors but havent heard back.
I was thinking of going out and buying her beautiful candle or charm.
DP was even in tears. He is best mates with my GF's husband. This is their second child. :cry:
hun id just go, if they dont want visiters then the midwives will send you away
I went to the hospital but she had left to go home half an hour earlier. I just msg'd again saying I am there when she needs me. Thanks for all being there for me this arvo.:grouphug: I was a mess. Still am but have had a shower and tried to get it together now. Have picked up DD from childcrae and given her lots of squishy cuddles.
I bought my friend a gorgeous little butterfly ornament that is just stunning and it says daughter on it, a candle and then some comfort things. She loves m&ms so I bought her some of those, her favourite drink (diet coke) and a journal.
It feels really strange that less than 24hours ago I was saying to her that I would bring her a bottle of champagne to have a little celebratory drink when Zara arrived and some metamucil that she forgot to buy. It makes me kind of second guess everything I have said to her and wonder whether it was the right or wrong thing to say.
Oh Ali- Big hugs hun!! I can't imagine their pain and how you must be feeling... Don't forget we are here for you..My love to you darl.....
RIP little Zara
Oh Ali that is so very sad. Sending enormous massive hugs your way and lots of thoughts and strength for your friend. So devastating. All you can do is follow her lead. What she wants/needs may change daily/hourly. Your gifts sound beautiful and very thoughtful. Don't second guess yourself hun. I am sure you are being very sensitive and supportive. She is lucky to have a friend as good as you. Take some time for your own grief too hun. xx
ali im sorry you missed her, maybe they took bubs home for the night.
have you heard from her yet??
i dont think you'll ever know just the right words because in all honesty they just dont exist in a time like this :cry:
:hug: Ali, how devestating :( I can't even begin to imagine what they are going through. Just be the wonderful friend you are and be there for her when she needs you.
Thank you beautiful girls :grouphug:
She just called me and we chatted for about 40minutes. We cried and laughed together. I just let her talk. She is holding it together at the moment and said my msgs to her were just beautiful. She said she had a lot of people msg her back with kind of 'empty' msgs IYKWIM but my msgs really touched my heart. She has gone home without the baby. They said their goodbyes this arvo and had photos (she hasnt looked at them yet). I asked about if she looks like her sister (which she does) just gorgeous. When they arrived at hospital last night they couldnt find a heartbeat but they think little Zara had died no more than 24hours beforehand. The hospital are doing an autopsy tomorrow. I am going round to be with her at her house tomorrow and just be with her. I just love her so much. Thank you all for being here for me. I am thinking a lot about Tracey and Milana as well at this time. All I can think of is that God has a greater purpose for these precious angels.
Also my apologies to OP and Ellie. I hope this hasnt upset you too much. I should have really posted a new thread. :hug:
Ali - I am so very sorry about your friend and her loss. As you might remember from previous posts, my cousin (who I am extremely close to) lost her first chidl while I was pregnant with E. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about baby Will. THe most important thing to rememver is not to be scared of her - sometimes people don't know what to say, so they just unintentionally ignore.
J's surgery went well today, although he is very sore and distressed at the moment. He is still in hossy. DH staayed with him
ali so glad you got to talk to her :hug: just be there.
Lilma glad J's op went well and he has a good nights sleep tonight
Ali - So sorry hun...it is so hard to find the right words...sounds like you have been a wonderful friend...thinking of you xxx
Oh my gosh Ali what terrible news :( I am so sad for your friend. But what a beautiful friend you are :hug:
Oh Ali, I am so sorry to hear your news. How heartbreaking. You know when I was reading it I was thinking of Tracy and Milana too.
It is great that you have been able to provide some measure of comfort to your friend. I think Meg got it right - don't be scared of her, don't ignore her by trying to "give her space". Sounds like you are finding the best way to help her - I'm really proud that you are being there for her, what a blessing you must be to her at this tough time.
Maybe tell her about BB as well? It might help to talk to some others who have experienced a late loss. Or it might not.
Big hugs, you poor thing. :hug:
RIP little Zara. What a beautiful name for what I'm sure is a beautiful little girl and a gorgeous, precious little angel.
PS - please don't apologise to me. You do what you need to do. :hug:
Ali- how is she doing? you're being a great friend to her. Just being there will be huge support. When is the funeral? Has the autopsy given an answers why?
Meg- how is J doing post op? Has he settled? Much pain?
Still in a fair bit of pain. He is saying that his tummy hurts. I ended up having to buy some sup panadol, as he WOULD NOT take it orally.
Ali how are you doing hun ??
lilima can you put something in a drink?? painstop etc.. ? how did he go with the sup ?
hope hes feeling better soon :hug:
well after having the runs since sunday night i think there gone!! woohoo i ate dinner tonight and i can fart and not follow through :lol: :tmi: hehehehe!!
girls are good, S is a turkey, 3 yr old attitude it fun :rolleyes: not!
M seems to be better too after going to te osteo, weve noticed she saying mum and dad more, it seemed ot have stopped but we didnt notice, still not saying much but is so switched on its not funny!
running everywhere, tries to jump as well, loves her doll/baby... gee shes so cute!
how is everyone??
what plans do you have for the long weekend?