Babies born~November 1st-15th 2009 #1

Hey All

Nae - How are things now? I also agree with Barb. Good advice! I understand how bad in laws can be -in my two long term relationship I've had two awful, awful lots of in-laws! I would get DH onto the case - he can talk to them if need be. And the snoring thing is horrid too - it makes you feel so alone probably even more so since he's not in the bed. So maybe get that checked out.

Barb- Can't wait to hear if you get the job. And I'm sure Poppy will be fine with you going to work and you'll stike a balance that works. First few times I left Elliott to go to TAFE I was quite upset but realised how good the break of a few hours was! And he really did not mind.

Things are pretty tough over here at the moment too. I'm prone to anxiety disorder when things get really bad, and it's flared up again over my job. I was just being harassed and contacted all the time to help them out and when I finally put my foot down my boss went crazy saying things like "I need to confront the reality of work" and that I was to come in and help for free!! So I've had all sorts of symptoms. The runs, cramping in my hands (from lack of blood flow when heartrate and breathing are fast and shallow and precursor to panic attacks), crying very easily, very brittle. Not sleeping. I've been bullied in the job for years but not really had an issue, but it all caught up with me now!

I have quit my job, but it hasn't solved the issue cause now my boss is auditing every bit of leave I have ever taken cause he doesn't want to pay me out. I've had to get my own industrial rep to fight for me! So caring for a baby on my own through this whole thing is pretty tough! I guess though it shows how strong I am - last time I had this disorder was during a break up with lawyers involved and I lost my house to my ex partner - and I had at least three friends on speed dial and I ended up on medication and I had a therapist and still cried in public every where. Now my friends aren't as close, I can't take the medication and haven't had time to organise any therapy but I am still pottering along.

Added to that was a blocked duct which although is clear now BF is still really painful on that side - I think the nipple was just so traumatised. So I've cancelled TAFE and stuff cause I can't express and am in too much pain with feedings to feel like going anyhow.

Third issue is that I had to do DNA testing and when that comes back I'm wondering if Bady Daddy will emerge wanting some contact. My worst fears is him going for joint custody but I'm pretty sure that won't happen since it turns out he's married with kids already and they don't know that he had an affair and he has kinda told my lawyer he is still hiding everything!!!! I really feel for his wife and kids - I don't want their family broken up cause he is an idiot who cheated and told me lies about his true situation, but I do think Elliott deserves the child support.

Elliott's sleeps are not the best - only 45 min cat naps during the day and nothing works to extend them so I've just had to learn to cope with 4 or so 45 min breaks during the 12 hours he is awake and that's it! Plus still two night feeds AND now at 5.30 for some reason he is waking and needing reassurance and I have to go to him and put my hand on his back and tell him I'm still here otherwise he starts screaming and won't settle. So that's up at least three times a night!

On the plus side, although his sleeping isn't great, he's a pretty easy going boy still, doesn't really cry or scream too much, and pretty far ahead on all milestones, maybe cause he's so big and stong - he's 8.3 kilos! He rolls every which way, sits sometimes for a bit before falling over, loves his Jolly Jumper and Activity Centre, is very vocal at the moment and trying to commando crawl everywhere and lifting hips of the ground a bit so well on the way to crawling maybe.

Wow, Tecopa, you are a CHAMPION! I have been admiring your strength as a person and your wonderful stories about Mr E but I had no idea you were doing it so tough.

Hang in there. Try to avoid contact with your rooster-head former boss and just concentrate on getting through the next few weeks. Did you learn any coping strategies from your therapist last time that you can dust off? If not, I recommend a bit of voodoo. Put all your nasty thoughts into something and then stamp the buggery out of it, throw it against the wall, burn it, call it filthy names... keep going til you're out of breath. If nothing else, it'll be something to laugh about afterwards. Maybe record the process and post it on youtube, dedicated to Sir Rooster-Head. You could even remix it into a dance tune. Wow. I'm a genius. That's sure to bring in the cash. Do you remember that song that made it to Triple J's Unearthed a few years ago...
"You **** Me To Tears" by The Tenants? Try singing that. It worked wonders for me when I had to work with people like those described in the song.

The blocked milk duct sounds like some form of torture. Who invented it, I wonder?

Big hugs for you. Some more hugs for Nae. And for anyone else who could do with one.

Wow Jody, you are quite an amazing tower of strength! I hope you get all your owed payments from you a..hole boss. He sounds like a piece of work. Is there some work place ombudsmen you can report him to? Glad your blocked milk duct got better. Mine too was very painful. Elliott is really going from strength to strength, so clearly your parenting is wonderful, nurturing and all the things that keep a happy little baby.
When do you get your DNA results? I hope for you too that Baby Daddy doesn't want shared custody. Doesn't sound like it.

Barb: Glad to hear things have turned around for you. Hope you hear about the Singapore job soon! It can be so isolating being a Stay at home Mum (even if you are going back to work). I used to pounce on Bernie when he walked in the door after I had Oscar, now it's the kids who pounce on him when he walks in the door. Ahh yes, Baby Panadol is your friend. Funnily enough I never had to use it for Oscar, then Ben came along and the Pharmacy became my favourite place to visit! I have heard of the amber beads, never tried them. You can get great teething toys that your pop in the freezer and it's supposed to be soothing for them to suck/chew on them.

Nae: How are things going? Any better? My offer to visit still stands.

Emma: How is things with Alyssa?

Hope everyone else is ticking along!

Well, things here are pretty good (as long as I don't talk about Toilet Training Ben :doh:)
Tess is a happy little thing, Bernie & I were talking last night and think she may be even more placid than Ben at the same age!
She is petite, only 5.19kg. She has taken to having one long sleep during the day and a little cat nap at about 5ish for 30min. She is very noisy and chatty and makes all kinds of weird happy noises when she is awake. She really enjoys it when the boys play around her. She moves around on her back by pushing her feet down and shuffling. Still doesn't like her tummy. She likes to blow raspberries, thinks it's very funny.
She constantly has her hands in her mouth. This causes extra saliva! When I am out and she has her hands in her mouth, people always say," oh, she must be hungry", quite frustrating, I now just nod and smile :wall:
My GF is following the Tizzie Hall book to the letter, has even started solids for her little one. I hadn't even thought about it. Pretty sure I am repeating myself here, will wait till Tess starts giving me grief or 6mths, whichever comes first.

Sounds like everyone needs big hugs and a drink, :hug: & Cheers!

Forgot to ask :doh:

Anyone else noticing their hair is starting to come out heaps?
Mine didn't fall out for the last 12mths now I have to swiffer my bathroom every morning with all the red hair!

Hi all.

sorry, not ignoring you all..... Little miss went back to 40 minute cat naps for the last couple of weeks so i just haven't had the time to post. been lurking around keeping up though :rolleyes:. We're back to one long sleep most days now so all good.

We're not going too bad. Teething and had our needles on thursday so that was lots of fun. baby panadol was definately my friend that night, but i hate to think of medicating her!!! Between bonjela, teething rings and panadol we're surviving!!!

We're rolling back to front but seem to have forgotten we can get back again. Which is rather annoying cause as soon as she's on her belly she wants to be back on her back to do it all again!!!! We're fiding lots of new ways to move our mouth and tongue which is resulting in some ratyher weird and wonderful expressions!!!!

We have a wedding today so mum and dad have their first babysitting eperience. thiankfully we're only 5 minutes away so i can come home or they can come to me if she won't take a bottle :shakehead:.

got to go. time to get new phones!!!

i'll be back later for personals.

Talk soon.

Where is everyone :think:

Emma: Alyssa sounds like she is going from strength to strength! How did she behave for your Mum, did she take a bottle?

Jody: Any news on your DNA testing??

Barb: Nice trying to keep up with you the other night on FB :lol: Hope Poppy is feeling better and you too. When is the move to the new job?

How is everyone else going?

Still going well here. We had our first success this morning with Ben and his toilet training :dance: He has got the wee's sorted out no problem just had poo issues as in wouldn't go on the toilet at all. So, about 15pairs of jocks later thrown out we had our first success this morning. I banned him from any TV until he had a poo on the toilet, so he (and poor Oscar) went 4days of no TV at all, the first thing he said when had done the poo on the toilet was 'can I watch a movie now?" :)

Tess is doing great. She is getting better on her tummy, she will actually lift her head now. Not rolling from front to back yet, can get to her side if she wants something bad enough though. She is loving playing under the play gym and grabbing for the toys. She will take a toy now if I offer it to her. She just likes to be around really. Likes lifting her feet to her hands and checking them out too. She is a happy baby, makes life easier especially since she has to go with the flow.
Just starting a new day routine of two sleeps a day then bath, feed and bed beginning at 6pm and in bed by 6:30-6:45pm.
About to have School Holiday's here, and Bernie is actually going to be home for them :o

Hope everyone is doing well, with healthy happy sleeping babies.

x Heather

Hi all,
It has gone sooooo quiet in here.
Emma - how was the wedding? Was everything ok when you got home?
Heather - nice to chat to you too! Congratulations on your toilet training success. Oh, and I haven't had hair falling out. However, my hair is much less oily now. I used to have to wash my hair every day or I would be a complete grease monkey. Now I wash it when it looks dirty (like a normal person). I don't have oily hair anymore!
Nae, Tecopa - how are things? Hope you're both coping ok.

As for me -- got half a kilo of contracts delivered last night. The move to Singapore is definitely on. DP is going to be a stay-at-home Dad for six months or so. I hope he copes with that. I think he should. He's so laid-back.

Poppy had a cold this week. It was terrible, and I think it was the result of taking her for a swim on Saturday. I thought we were home free when she didn't wake up sick on Sunday. We took her out of the water when a golly floated past -- yuk-o-rama! But she didn't get sick until late on Tuesday, then we had a sleepless night trying to soothe her. Her temperature was high and baby panadol made her throw up. And she was just so miserable. On Wednesday afternoon she developed conjunctivitis, poor little thing. We took her to the doctor and got stuck waiting there for hours. We saw the nurse and the doctor pretty quickly, but the medical centre's computer system crashed and so they couldn't issue us the bill. What a pain. The receptionist told us that the computer was probably tired because it was after 5pm!

Oh, Poppy just woke up. I'll try to post more tonight... although I'm so tired from her cold and from having houseguests this week. (Drinking wine til midnight last night, so silly!)

Hey All

So I don't want to jinx it but I think we've turned a corner here! Last night great sleep - only one wake up for 5mins of feeding. Tonight so far down without a peep at 6.30 and it's now 10.30 and no wake up. Plus long good naps during the day and able to stay awake for a couple of hours or so too! And a very, very happy loving baby. After a week of whiny, needy, extra feedings, no sleep I was struggling a bit.

Plus nearly on TAFE holidays, Gymbaroo is finished too and I'm not going back so a more chilled out life.

AND...DNA tests results are in and what do you know - Baby Daddy is the father. Duh. But a weight off my mind to have it all legally confirmed and now hopefully we move onto getting child support ASAP. I just found out a few hours ago and I'm sure somewhere tonight is one very shaky freaked out man who has realised I wasn't lying!

All I need now is work issue resolved and I will be over the moon.

GTBIA - I hope Poppy gets better. Must be exhausting. And congrats on Singapore. Tell us more about what you're going to do for the job?

Heather - what schedule does Tess have to get two naps only a day? You seem to be the queen of babies so I always want to know how you make it seem effortless. Were you just as clueless with your first kid and I seem to be?

Nae - How are things your way? Where is the pram?

About hair - mine is coming out really badly. I actually had it cut today to try and make it look not so bad. I think it's a bit extreme cause I seem to be going a bit bald in patches at my hairline on my forehead. I wonder if maybe I'm not eating right as well with the BF. I maybe should see if I've lost more weight - I'm down now about 5kg or so from my pre-pregnancy weight so maybe feeding an almost nine kilo leech is taking it out of me too much!

Elliott had a trim at the barber today too with the little kids apron on. Just cause his birth chunks of hair stick out on the side compared to all the hair that's grown since birth and I got sick of it looking like a monk gone wrong style. Much more even now. He loved the apron though and was trying to shove the whole thing in his mouth.

Well I'm off to bed. Had a friend cook dinner and a few beers to celebrate the DNA test. And tomorrow Gunkle and I are taking Elliott to "Baby Loves Disco" - where for an afternoon they make an adult nightclub into a kids nightclub with retro music for parents, alcohol for us, juice boxes for the little kids and entertainers etc. Quite controversial cause of the alcohol bar but I think if you're the type of parent to fork out $20 cover charge to a nightclub for a kids event, you're the type not to get ****ed with them there. The theme is "Under the Sea" and Gunkle is going in full sailor outfit, ha ha. Elliott in a squid onesie and me with sailor cap too.

Hi all,
I planned to do a lovely update this morning during Poppy's nap, but I just got off the phone to my mum and grrrr. Need to vent.
Poppy's been sick. It was so terrible to watch her feel so rotten. We had one sleepless night that left us wrecked, then we were kind of obliged to take our visitors out and about for two days. So we were burning the candles on both ends. We left Poppy with the nanny the night she was still snuffly, took her with us the next night when she was much better, just tired. She slept in the carrier and got food in her hair as I mismanaged the task of ferrying things to my mouth.
So mum says she loves Vietnam and wants to visit before we leave. I finally have all the documents and DP has informed his work and we've got our timeline sorted. I call mum for a bit of sympathy and to see if she really is going to visit in the next three weeks. And to ask if she can put some dummies in the post.
But once she heard my voice she just started on her centre-of-the-universe stream of consciousness. This is how she gets when she's depressed.
The first thing she says is "oh, I just realised the other day I DO miss Poppy. But I just can't be bothered visiting now. I'll visit you in Singapore."
I tell her that maybe she can't visit us in Singapore because rents are so unbelievably expensive that I think we are going to be in a very small flat. I told her we'd had two huge houses and we'd been begging her to visit for two years. And she just kept repeating that should "just couldn't be bothered".
After a few more gloomy exchanges I realised I was feeling worse than before I called. So I got off the phone.
And I thought - that was an international call from a mobile phone to my Mum and Poppy's grandmother and it never even crossed her mind to ask how we were. I really miss my mum sometimes. The one I had when I was a kid, who was a normal mum, not the self-obsessed and inconsiderate mum I have now.

Anyway, end of rant.

I'll get on later. I need advice from Heather about routines. We don't have much of a routine but things are completely shot since Poppy got sick. She's back to catnapping and only drinking half her bottles.

By the way, Tecopa, I can't believe how advanced Mr E is. He's two weeks younger than Poppy yet way ahead in his milestones. And when I compare Poppy to slightly older babies at playgroup, she's way ahead, although much much smaller. (Saw a poor little baby with a misshapen head the other week. The mum says it will grow to a normal shape over time but I felt really sorry for her, missing out on all the flattering baby comments - you know "what a cutie" etc).

Barb: :hug: about your Mum. My Mum is pretty much the same with my kids. Doesn't want to drive to see us as she doesn't like Melbourne. She has always been as Jody calls it a 'plan pot' parent. Still get a bit upset sometimes when she says things without thinking otherwise I try to ignore her 'can't be bothered' attitude as it can get you really down!
You must bee looking forward to getting to Singapore?

Not sure if I mentioned this before...when I had just had Tess my Mum came down on the bus to visit two days after in hospital. Nice of her to try and make the effort as she wasn't going to originally as Frances Perry had moved. The door opens and she takes one look at my stomach and says "Oh, I thought you said you had the baby, ah well, I suppose it does take a little while to go down" and walks straight past me to sit down. After I picked myself up off the floor we just continued on as if nothing had been said :o That tends to be our relationship. These days she pretty much says something that be offending everytime I talk to her or see her, just have to get over it. Hence why my contact with her is limited. We are about to go down to visit her this Saturday, this will be the first time she has seen Tess since birth and the boys probably before Tess was born.

Jody: I try to eat and eat to keep up. I am down to my pre pregnancy weight and really need to hold onto it as otherwise I look terrible. So eat, eat I do! Master E is doing so well, he really is a champion baby with what he is achieving, that's a huge credit to your mothering skills!

Tess' routine is in a routine of sorts. I originally followed Robyn Barker with Oscar and have followed on with Ben & Tess as she is inbetween a Tizzy Hall and Pinky Mackay. Robyn Barker is the only book I keep for reference as I am not a fan of the cry it out theory or the no cry theory at all either. I will let them cry for 15mins if I need to, an it depends on the type of cry too. It's a bonus if they don't cry at all. Tess doesn't cry at night bed time for now anyway.
Tess gets up at round 7ish with Bernie and then I feed her about 7:30.
I sometimes feed her again at 8:30 or 9 depending if she has the full feed the first time around.
She will then sometimes nap under the play gym around 9ish. Feed again at 11am then a play and perhaps more feed to get her to sleep from 1ish to when she wakes up. This is her longest stretch awake as if she sleeps till 3pm I feed her on waking and then she may have a power nap while the boys have dinner at 5pm then it's bath, feed and bed from 6pm. I am trying to get 5-6 feeds in a day.
This can all go out the window if we are out and about, although I will squeeze feeds in at home inbetween when I can. I still somehow manage to get her in bed by 6:30-6.45pm nearly every night.
With Oscar who was bottle fed from birth I was pretty strict with routine. It was bottle on waking, play, then back in bed by 9am.
Bottle on waking, play and back in bed 1pm and so on. So it was an awake 2hr routine and no sleep after 4pm, then bath, bottle and bed routine beginning at 6pm.
I am creature of habit person myself and like things to run my way, so my kids tended to have to fit in with me when possible. I also didn't like feeding out as when I am out I am busy and don't want to have to sit for 30mins or so feeding, that was even with the bottle.
Barb, I got Oscar used to having a cold bottle if he needed to while out so I didn't have to worry about heating it up or mixing it up when out.
It really is luck of the draw.
We just went out for the morning and I fed her before we left at 9:45am and we were walking so she was in the pram the whole time and slept or happy awake until we got home and I fed her a 1pm, so while on the move she is also fine.
I am really not sure how we got her the way we did, just lucky. Bernie is a very laid person so the kids have alot of him in them. I am not as laid back as him.
So after all that ramble, we can have a tough day with Tess but as yet not a horror day :pray: She may be saving those up for later :lol:
I know I had a few of those with both boys, and still do :lol:
So that's it in nutshell...

How is everyone else going? Nae, how is the pram going! You must be in heaven with all the hassles you had getting it here.

Well..best laid plans and all that :wall:
Did I mention my Mum???

The seatbelt in the backseat of our car has broken. So we are going nowhere with three kids. Being Easter it's impossible to get it fixed and it is also going to cost $1000 to get it repaired and replaced as well.
I rang my Mum yesterday and told her we won't be able to make it as we had a problem with the car.
I came off the phone in tears. Poor Bernie was pretty upset by it all.
She just kept repeating how disappointing she was we weren't going down, she had told all her friends we were coming. So disappointing and that no-one ever comes down to see her other than my brother. After a few minutes of that, I just apologised again and she again told me how disappointed she was and that is how the call was ended.
I suppose these things happen for a reason...just wating to see what that reason is :lol:

Well...that's my rant :redface:

Miss Tess is still doing well, it's the kids that make all this sooo much easier as they are just the best.

Awwww, Heather. I think everyone would be a bit disappointed about the seat belt wrecking holiday plans. What's your mum want you to do - hitchhike down there?
Hang in there.

I REALLY feel like calling my mum today but I know it's just not worth it. Just like you, Heather, a small thing set it all off. DP dropped the a/c remote the other day and it stopped working. It's way too hot here and there's too many mosquitos to sleep without the a/c, so we moved upstairs to the guest bedroom. But the a/c there goes from freeze to sauna with no mid-point. You go from waking up shivering and pulling the sheet up, to waking up sweating and throwing it off. And because it's a small room, Poppy's cot was right under the vent. We tried to keep her covered but she kicks the covers off. So this reactivated her cold and gave me and DP a sore throat.

Two nights of that and an emergency trip to the electronics shop we're back in our bedroom. But Poppy and I are now coughing. She's snuffly and sick and sleeping lightly so when I cough she wakes up, then she starts coughing... and none of us get any sleep.

Thank God I have a nanny! We had a very sleepless night again. Trips to the shower to run hot water into Poppy's bath to create some tea tree oil steam - the only vaguely clearing thing I brought with me. When Ms Kim Chi arrived at 8am I took a giggling kicking Poppy downstairs and DP and I went to sleep. DP got up at 9am and went to work late. I was woken by a text message at 10am, to find Ms Kim Chi rocking Poppy in her hammock next to the bed. I have about 50 uni assignments to mark by Friday and I feel so rotten. And the assignments are so incredibly boring!!! And I can't stop coughing.

Going to go look at what we've got in the medicine cabinet. Hope everyone else is well.

Big, big hugs to you, Heather.

Hellloooooo out there, where is everyone :think:

Hope everyone had a lovely Easter. We managed to keep busy. Boys enjoyed and Easter Egg Hunt and very excited about the Easter Bunny coming.

Thanks Barb, I sure needed those hugs! Feeeling better now.
I bet you are very busy organising for Singapore! That is great news and I hope things pick up for you there and the conditions alot easier to live in than with what you are having to deal with now. How are you and VU feeling..better?

Jody: Where to now with the DNA test coming back? Hope it all goes smoothly for you. Glad to see you got a positive result from your old work..well done :clap:

Well she is off :dance: Tess has worked out how far she can get on her back by putting her feet to the ground and pushing herself around. We have floor boards so it is very easy for her to slip around on her back, she thinks it is soo funny. She has finally started to like being on her tummy. She will actually lift her head up now and does the 'flounder' as Bernie calls it.
She loves her Sophie the Giraffe toy, chews and sucks away at it. She is also really grabbing for toys, they just grow up sooo quick :shakehead: I love this age.
I haven't started solids yet...will do in the next few weeks. She is still pretty happy with just the BF at the moment.

Hope everyone pops in soon with updates

Hey Heather,
Glad you're feeling better. I'm waiting for updates from Tecopa, Emma and Nae... where is everyone?
I'm feeling absolutely heartbroken today. DP and I took Poppy for her first haircut yesterday. I told him I wanted a bob, showed him what I meant (I thought) and kept saying "straight across, straight across" and the first thing the hairdresser did was chop off her side bits. I kept saying "no no no" and "that looks terrible, get her to stop" and no one listened to me. It was like a nightmare.
So now I can't look at Poppy. She is not my beautiful baby anymore. It's so obvious it's a haircut, not just weird baby hair. I didn't go to playgroup today because I couldn't handle anyone commenting on it. It's not even even, so it looks like I did it.
I was up half the night sobbing my heart out. I know it's a stupid reaction to a haircut but she doesn't look like my baby anymore. . I don't know whether to get her head clippered or go to a different hairdresser. The problem is it's too short at the sides, cut over her ears. It will grow back but not before we leave Vietnam.
Sorry to vent.... gotta get back to my boring marking now. I'll give a proper update soon, but we're having internet problems at home again. I think one of the students gave me a virus when they emailed their assignment to me.

I think it's obvious I haven't been getting enough sleep lately, huh?

Hullo all. I did have to laugh at your haircut disaster Barb, but only cause I bought scissors and thinning scissors off eBay and have given E the worst cut ever including whole chunks missing by accident. Oops. My brother in law just took the army clippers to his son at 7 months so I can always do that to fix it up and just have an army jock son!

Sigh...as for me, these last few weeks were horrid. I can't swaddle anymore cause I saw E face plant while arms pinned in swaddle and his face in mattress and that worried me. But he won't settle without it. Only rocking or feeding to sleep. His night sleep has gone to hell too - up every 90 mins from midnight and won't settle either without feed, or co-sleep. He is sort of night-crawling around on his belly half the night. And then I decide to visit family in Brisbane. OH MY GOD. I got back late last night just so upset with the week.

Sure, my mum fed him (we've started solids), read to him and bought him clothes - but actually meeting any of his most vital needs - NOPE. Like she spent days teaching to put his arms up when he wants to be picked up - and then I saw him do it and she just walked past him and ignored him cause she wasn't in the mood. And he'd be all upset and I'd say he's hungry or tired or whatever, but she would only try and fix that if it suited her. And if he didn't drop off to sleep in two minutes of rocking she'd just throw him back on the floor to play and wonder why he was sooooo upset half an hour later.

The worst though - not really using his name, just clapping at him, right in the face (thought of you Barb with that!). So I'd say, "Oh, he needs to go to sleep now" and she'd just clap at him to distract him. Gawd, no wonder I grew up feeling invisible and not like anyone ever listened.

Extended family were just as bad. Only stopped by once in a week. Told me I was doing it all wrong etc. Cracked it at one Aunt and told her I didn't recall asking for advice.

And my Mum only took E for maybe 20 mins a day at most. Despite him not sleeping at night, and only falling asleep every 3-4 hours for maybe 30 mins unless I took him to bed with boob and fed him to sleep and stayed with him. And she'd just look at me, tell me he needed a new nappy or whatever and not actually help. Plus she would constantly tidy up behind us like we were a pain to have around.

Horrible, horrible week. I am sooo tired that next week a few friends are coming over to take night shift and EBM while I go to another part of the house with earplugs. It's TAFE holiday now thank goodness, but I've missed a few weeks due to sleep deprivation. I'm so run down I seem to have constant hayfever really really bad, and my hair has fallen out sooo much I have a receding hairline and can see skull, despite taking vitamins etc.

I think I need to put some longer term plans in place soon. I'm thinking from six months onward I should start to put E in childcare for some constant time once a week so I don't lose the plot. Start with a couple of hours and build to a half day or even one day. Or even just start going back to the gym/pool and use the creche there for an hour or two while I do some exercise. Cause it's obvious now my family are no help, and the two friends I'm down to now who still help out are doing what they can every few weeks but until Elliott goes back to sleeping better I need much more support.

On a positive note - I won my dispute with work and got a $15 000 payout! Amazing. All of my leave and long service even! And with the DNA tests back it now goes to family court so they issue a declaration of parenting which gets me back dated child support until birth - but could take 6 months or more the courts are so backed up.

But for now..I need to get the sleep and nap thing sorted. I think last week may have been the first time I stopped enjoying my baby and really started to come apart at the seams, all internally though cause emotions aren't done in my family, in front of them!

Sorry...long rant.

Hey I've not been very active in here lately sorry - I just wanted to ask a quick question though - do any of you ladies have bubs that aren't rolling at all? I feel like people are going to start querying CJ's development soon because he's not rolling :( He sits quite well on my feet, but not unsupported, and his legs give way really easily when 'standing' on my lap or wherever... He's got great head control though - and he does roll to his side very easily. But he seems to have grown bigger but not progressed much developmentally since he smiled... He's still not giggling/laughing, although he goes nuts blowing raspberries, and communicates well with squeaks and coos etc. I'm just worried he's behind :(

Hi girls,

Sorry I've been MIA!!! Been keeping up but just never seem to have 5 minutes to sit and type!!!

We're going well here. Had DH in hospital on Sunday night after a bout of food poisoning (we think). He had really bad cramps and 'couldn't deal with it any longer' after 2 hours. He was so dehydrated that they couldn't find a vein to get a drip in, but once they did they put 2 bags of fluids through and gave him a shot of morphine. All i can say is i'm glad i had the baby!! 40 hours of pain with only 2 shots of morphine. He actually said to me when he was doubled over in pain that he was glad he wasn't female and didn't have to deal with this every month :shakehead:. They have no idea really!!

Alyssa is all over the place. We have mastered the art of rolling and have worked out that if we put 2 rolls together we can get from one side of the loungeroom to the other and there's so many good things (favourite toy at the moment seems to be the TV remote so I have to keep a pretty close eye on her). Can spin 360 degrees on our belly and shuffle along on our back too. This morning she was trying to spin and the side of her gym was getting in the way so she lifted her legs up, balanced on her chest and spun. don't think i could do that if i tried!!!! She's started sitting up for short bursts on her own too and can pull herself back up to upright when she leans too far forward. if she leans to the side though it's all over!!!

We started solids over easter. not a fan of the rice cereal thoug..... Mixed it with some basnana the last couple of days and that seems to be much better. Not so many faces!!!! GOing to try pumpkin this afternoon as I didn't want to start with the sweet fruit, just did banana the other day cause i didn't have time to cook anything and my MIL was here so DH wanted to try something new.

We had our first family holiday over easter. 3 nights up the coast then 4 nights over easter with my grandparents. Alyssa seems to be a waterbaby. Loved the pool from the minute she got in, kicking and splashing and having a bit of a swim on daddy's chest. Went and played in the sand and put our feet in the ocean too so she was pretty excited. Loves new things!!! And I think I only got told once by my grandmother that she musthave wind - when she was tired and i put her in the carseat to come home from the shops - just let her go and sais quietly to mum that there was no way she did. trip home was a nightmare. stick in traffic for 10km at Buledelah which took an hour. Sure the people in the cars around us wondered what was goin on when i jumped out of the front seat with toys and hopped in the back - either that or they were thinking poor people :lol:. Got home to no power though and a smelly fridge which wasn't the welcome home I was hoping for!!!

Shades - I have a bub in the MG i'm going to who is 1 day older than Alyssa and isn't rolling yet. She's not reaching out for anything or grabbing anything either (which somedays i think would be nice - Alyssa wants everything that's in my hands and has a bit of a tantrum when she doesn't get it!!). I think they all do things in their own time. If you're too worried ring or go see the CHN. The 6 month check is coming soon anyway (can you believe it!!!).

Tecopa - maybe try wrapping around his legs only. I'm still wrapping like this for day sleeps. night sleeps we're in the sleeping bag. i know i have to take the association away sometime but i'm teaching her that the cot is for sleep and to put herself off to sleep first. seems to be a long process!! our nights are shot too. she's in bed about 7 but up again at 1030 every night for a feed (or crying with her eyes closed waiting for a boob to be shoved in) then a good night we're up at 3 then up for the day at 6 -7. bad nights we can be up every 2 hours between 12 and 6-7. last night was 1030, 315 then 5 and up for the day at 6. i don't think my milk is keeping her going at the moment. she's having fairly good feeds through the day now (went through a couple of weeks of snacking which were hell of a night) so i'm just waiting to be able to do 2 solid feeds and hopefully that lasts a bit longer..... Doesn't sound like you had a very good time with your mum. and it would have been nice for you too have a bit of a break!! :hug: Good news about work though...... you got what you deserved!! I'm resigning next week, but nothing to pay out cause they make us get all our leave paid out when we go on maternity leave (not that we can get any longer than 12 months still).

GTBBIA - I'd be upset about the haricut too!! Mums have so much to deal with the smallest things can tip us over the edge! Hope Poppy's feeling better. It's heartbreaking to watch them when they're sick or in pain!!

Heather and Barb - :hug: about your Mums. I have a wonderful Mum who I can't imagine doing this without. She was here in a instant on Sunday to watch Alyssa while I was at the hospital and rings daily just to check how we're going. She was about the only thing that got me through the first week at home!! But my nana (mums mum) is a bit like youre mums so i can understand how hard it is. Mum rarely gets off the phone without feeling guilty and even feels guilty if she sees me and Alyssa without including her so that makes it hard for me as well. bit stuck in the middle.......

Anyway, going to go and have a shower while missy is asleep. going to spotlight today. going to get crafty for mothers day - scrapbboking canvases for my mum and mil. wish me luck - not really a crafty person :shakehead:

Thanks Emma - he does do the spinning on his back and tummy, and the 'travelling' - it's not fast or deliberate enough to call shuffling but if you leave and come back in a few minutes he's not quite where you left him... he'll be a foot or two up or down or to the side. So maybe he's just got other priorities above rolling :)

:o I just looked at my ticker...Tess is 5mths old already!
I still haven't started solids..oh well, soon :lol:

Shades...Tess can only roll from back to tummy and has only done that once and without pants on as she swings her legs to do it. She does move around on her back by pushing her feet down. Only does tummy time for a little while, not moving though.
We get lot's of giggles, raspberries and squeals and Ha Ha Ha noise..
I suspect she will just take off one day :lol:


Thanks Emma about Mum...I just have to remember she is nearly 80 so probably round your nana's generation.

Jody: Hooray! that is great news winning with your work and the DNA test :dance:
Let's just hope now Elliott starts to behave for you and you can get some proper rest.
Definitely persist witht he one day a week child care if you can...it will be something to look forward to and help you keep sane.

That's all for now.....lunchtime :D

HI Shades,
Sorry to take so long to reply, especially when you're worried about Alyssa.Internet problems here.
There's two babies in my baby playgroup that are slower than Poppy at the rolling and moving around. One is rolling over now, the other not. The second one can roll on his side, but he's not too impressed by the view so he just flops back onto his back.
Poppy has been rolling over for weeks and weeks but she's really not interested in moving around. I thought she'd be crawling pretty quickly, given how fast she mastered the rolling over but she doesn't seem interested just yet.
I don't think you should worry too much. I remember my mother was very stressed that my sister was developmentally delayed. She was very late in walking and was taken to a special doctor to be assessed. But now we know that was just an early sign of her very stubborn nature! She's a physio now.
Try not to worry but keep an eye on it.

GTBIA, thanks for the response (I have CJ though not Alyssa :D)
I just spoke to a lady who has a son by the same donor as CJ, and he apparently skipped *crawling* altogether and went straight to walking at 14 months, so I imagine she would have been quite concerned at his apparent slow development too, only to have him skip ahead. Maybe it's a genetic thing, this 'laziness' LOL and we're just not gonna bother with rolling :)

Oh Shades, so sorry to get CJ's name wrong. I was looking at Emma's post and yours. I can't keep two thoughts in my head at the same time now. ;)

Hey Everyone,

yes I know I have been super slack .... have seem to have so little time lately so its usually a very quick check on emails and FB by then Miss Shae is demanding all my attention .... she is with daddy outside at the moment.

I just had to respond to the "laziness" thing ... Shae STILL will only roll front to back IF I put her on her tummy and leave her there until she completely cracks a hissy fit and does it as a tantrum type thing .... in saying that though .... she is ahead in other areas ... she has a tooth ... well its still pushing through but you can feel the sharp little bugger and I think its friend is not long before an appearence is made.

We have sadly started on solids recently too ... I know the recommendation is 6 months exclusive BF but I wanted to go baby led and she was showing so many signs of being ready I think to hold then back is not right, so I have started with some rice cereal after her first morning feed ... she hates the taste even with EBM (its pretty bitter and bland) so now we are a blend of rice cereal, pear, ebm and some water. She LURVES her food and I have been concerned my supply was not meeting her needs despite taking Fenugreek and Blessed thistle. It could also be teething related to as she has reverted in her sleeping and is up 2-3 times a night and I CANNOT put her down for her morning sleeps again and have to nurse her which is playing havoc on my tendonitis as she is nearly 7kg but very long.

Still I figured the weaning would happen sooner or later and though I would prefer a later, Shae is obviously making her own mind up.

Reno's are coming along very very slowly I am still no more gapping and have used 13 tubes so far and probably another 10 before the job is done. Not much else to report really for those on FB but don't have me in the friend list please add me Naomi Staben.

Bye for now, She is ready for her next feed and a nap

Nae x x x

Hi Everyone.

Nae: Gald to hear Shae is coming along well. Great on the teeth!

Tess is attempting to roll and reach for things. Goes from one side to the other, not over completely. Fluked it once. She is much better on her tummy and has very strong head control. I can carry her on my hip quite comftorbly supporting her back a little.
We had a 'weigh in' this morning with the MHN. She wanted to to see Tess again. Tess is now sitting at 5.6kg, I think that is ok as we are not big people. The MHN wants to see her again in a month. I will start solids and see if that helps. I have tried her on a little rice cereal which she didn't seem to impressed about. Have given her a finger of toast and some crust from bread which seems to like better.
I mix the rice cereal with formula..not sure if that has anything to do with it.
The MHN was driving me a little crazy asking me if I was happy with the weight gain, do I think I have enough milk am I sure can I have a feel :o, perhaps she has a UTI..blah blah blah :wall::wall:
Oscar was not a big boy and still isn't and there is nothing wrong with him, we are just small people.
Tess is a happy contented baby, sleeps well, that's how I judge how she is going.
Well that's enough from me...aahhhh that feels better :)

Hope everyone else is doing well and their babies are growing nicely :lol:

Hey All

I think Tess sounds happy Heather so wouldn't worry either about the weight. And I can't believe Shae has teeth! Well done! My friend who also has a baby called Tess - she is small and also doesn't roll much either so I think all of it is pretty normal - but I know it's hard not to stress about whatever your trigger issue is.

My trigger issue is sleep at the moment. Have gone from being a pretty good sleeper (by that I mean 1-2 night wakings for food between 7pm and 7am to a horrid horrid sleeper and back again to just terrible. Currently goes to be around 6-7 and is up 11, 1, 4,4.30,5.30 or something similar. I can feed him back to sleep in seconds - especially those early morning ones which I know aren't for food, but for comfort - but not a great habit to get into. I'm okay with 1-2 night feeds but those early morning hours are pushing it! I'm trying co-sleeping this week to see if it helps - my back is giving out from the constant bending over the cot. Not to mention the lifting.

Weight gain not an issue here. Elliott is 9.2 kilos! I started him on solids early cause I wanted to do baby led weaning and he started helping himself to meals about a month ago - grabbing big fistfuls of my dinner, screaming when he isn't included in meals. Now he is insane! Sat him up at Sizzler with a plate of things to try and he just goes to town. In goes bits of peach, in goes broccoli, in goes bits of bread, pasta, carrot. Whatever is going. He'll even take the spoon and as long as you pre-load it he can feed himself purees if I use them. Fingers crossed I've got an easy, fun feeding child with no food issues apparent yet! He has fed himself bits of eggs even with no reaction before I stopped him so I'm happy so far. And he likes to drink out of a cup if I hold it. Can't use the sippy cup top on it though yet.

He is almost on all fours now on the floor and ready to crawl. Can pretty much do it on the bed. Rolls from one end of the house to another - have a 3m x 3m playpen for him cause he moves around too much when I'm not looking.

Really he's the perfect, easy child...if I could only get the sleep thing a bit under control. I'm hoping it's wonder weeks/teething or the crawling issue - he sleep crawls up and down his cot and isn't happy about doing it but can't stop until I rock him, pin his limbs down..

I'm giving it till six months or when he crawls. If there is no improvment I'll have to consider what I try next. Technically cause he does have a 5 hour stretch most nights that is still "sleeping through the night". Just means I have to go to bed with him to get it!!

Forgot to add - BabyDaddy's wife has found out about Elliott and I by opening his mail. I was expecting trouble but instead today I got an offer of hush money! So maybe all along he was telling the truth about being allowed to have lovers/open relationship?! The offer is done legally, but they are proposing a lump sum child support of $50 000, rather than getting it weekly. I'm getting lots of advice, but my gut feeling is it's far too low since they are very high income earners and we are talking about 18 years of support!! $50 000 over 18 years is $50 a week.

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$50 000 over 18 years is $50 a week.

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That's not enough. It looks alot on paper. The other thing you have to be careful of is if you get a lump sum how does that effect your single mother entitlements and everything else FAO/Centrelink, tax and so on?
Have you asked your legal aid what he should be paying you per week? If they want to just pay upfront then they should at least pay what you are entitled too.
Elliott is such an amazing little boy...almost crawling already :dance:

Yeah...size has always been my trigger issue as I always got it with Oscar too. Part of the problem is that most of MCHN are older and not really up to date with things baby. They have also computerised everything so she was telling me things then typing in what she told me and then repeating that she told me 'this'. It just felt like she was trying to find something wrong. She is a nice lady, just a little over cautious.

I agree it's not enough. I've been playing with the online calculator today and $50 a week is what someone earning $40 000 would pay. My bet is he earns at least $100 000 so that means it's anywhere from $180 a week up to $300 a week if he's on closer to $200 000.

Shed a few tears today about him trying to "buy" his way out of the problem - when Elliott is such a gorgeous little man and not a problem. But then I know E has lots of people who love him, and on the plus side child support should set him up for life if I don't use too much of it to raise him, but save or invest on his behalf instead.

Not enough!!!! Maybe its just their opening offer, Negotiating is sport for most Asians.

Packing for Singapore.... will try to post more soon. Big hugs.

And nice to c u again Nae!

Hi all. Just popping in to say we made it to Singapore and I just finished my second week of work. I thought I was being slack but... you mob are worse!

Tecopa -- what's happening with your negotiations? I have a feeling you're going to get a better offer, which you will invest incredibly wisely and you and Mr E will end up living in luxury. Maybe taking cruises and doing a Sherlock and Holmes/Agatha Christie number, solving crimes on five star cruise liners. You want to see how E looks in a little tweed three piece suit?

I'm stuffed from working. Worried about how next week's going to go when I have to commute. Very exhausting and stressful trying to find a place to live. We're out of the hotel tomorrow, cos work won't pay for more than two weeks. We're paying $60 to camp out in someone's spare room on Saturday night then moving to a serviced apartment for a month. The house we've rented isn't available until June 6.

I'm too tired to keep typing. I think I'll just take questions from the floor from here.

How's everyone else going?

Hey everyonr!! I've been away for aaaages! Its nice to be back! Is there a newer thread that I've missed or has everyone been really quiet in here? :)