15 weeks and buns gone :(

It is not idiotic to have taken a photo of your angel baby, you will most definately treasure this photo. Please take care huni, and I really hope your boss has grown a heart. Loads of hugs.

Hi Sweetie, I'm sorry for the loss of your little man.

If you feel like you want to talk to someone, there are contact phone numbers on the SANDS (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Support) website sands.org.au or your local GP might be able to let you know what is avaailable in your area.

take care,

k

CM, I am so so sorry :hug:

The treatment you received from the hospital was appalling, it should never have been like that. There are some fantastic support groups out there (like SANDS) that you should have been told about, please phone them if you need to talk to someone, they really are so so helpful.

As the others have said, it is a good thing that you took a photo of your angel boy, you may well be glad that you did one day.

And stuff work! You need to have some time off to grieve, so don't hurry back, regardless of how much leave you have. Give yourself some time, that is so important right now.

Thinking of you and sending you my support sweetie

I am so sorry for your loss

CM I am devastated for you!!! Why did this have to happen? :(

Having a photo of your son is important, it will bring back sad memories for a long time to come I'm sure of that, but as time goes on you will be glad that you have something to remember him by.

I'm so sorry for that horrible treatment you got at the hospital.

How did things all go in the end, did you need a hysterectomy etc?

I'm so very sorry.

Oh I am so sorry...

No in the end when I wasn't backing down that I REALLY wanted to keep my uterus they said they would try their hardest not to and I came home mostly in tact.

I said to someone I know that I would probably have to be in Monday, they saw my boss and said I thought I had to be in Monday so he rung and baned me from work. He said it will all be covered under grievance leave which is all unpaid of course so no money to pay the bills more stress but at least I dont have to worry about leave..

I cannot even imagine what you have been thru.

I hope you find the support you need...but know you have people here to talk to too.

Big hugs hun, i'm so sorry about your loss and that you were treated badly at the hospital. :hug:

Oh CM I am so very sad to read of the sad loss of your son - you gave him a lovely name. I understand some of how difficult and painful this time is. It is lovely that you could take a photo of him - it is something that in time will be a treasure for you.

I am sending you love and support as you go through this time - lean on us all in here. Big big hugs honey... :hug:

Please disable signatures that do not comply with the signature guidelines for miscarriage and loss.

I am so sorry for your loss and for all that you have been through :hug:

I am so so sad to hear about you losing your precious baby. I'm really glad you took a photo of him though; it will give you one more beautiful way to remember him, when you feel ready to look at it.

I wish that your work had handled this better. Take as much time off as you need; but you are the only person who gets to say when you're ready to go back. Nobody bans you from work, and nobody forces you to go. If you feel ready to go back on Monday, then do it. If you don't feel ready for another 3 weeks, then don't do it.

Big big BIG HUGS... :hug:

I am so so sorry for your loss. :hug: The treatment you received from the hospital was appalling. Knowing that hospital I'm not surpised sadly. Sent you a PM. :hug:

My heart goes out to you and your DP. The way you were treated by the hospital is reprehensible. I'm glad you don't have to go into work on Monday as your health and well-being has to come first. I am so, so very sorry that you have had to say goodbye to your son. Please take care, contact SANDS and surround yourself with supportive friends and family. Much love and hugs.

Kerry

CM I am sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to your family

Fly free angel Dylan and always watch over your mummy, daddy and brother

I am glad you have some time off, please take this time to be gentle on yourself, ie the photo is so prescious it was not an idiodic thing to do.

I am here also feel free to contact me if you just need a chat or a place to escape and forget....

sending lot's of love and support
thinking of you

N xxxooo

Thank you all and thank you for the PM's and the contact numbers in Bathurst Mum2.

I am pagan, last night was meant to be the celebration of lights so I lit a candle for Dylan, today I will go find a little baby statue, a little fence and some flowers to plant around his grave.

I had a dream last night I had a full term Dylan in my arms, then I woke up... why haven't they created panadol for an aching heart? I guess I'm putting too much pressure on myself to "get over" it and move forward, just feel like I'm sinking further into a dark hole. How long does it take to stop aching so much??

I am so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss. God Bless you :hug:

I am so very sorry for your loss :hug:

Oh Sweetheart... :comfort: I remember thinking I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up when my Soul stopped aching... However, this is what the Universe has given & it needs to be gotten through. It takes so much time, work and love to get through this. I am so so relieved that you are reaching out in here where some of us have travelled a similar road and survived.

Your heart will always hurt - but I always use the anaology that in time you can put your grief in a box - it's not all over the place and surprising. Your grief and trauma can be opened up and felt and put back again (most times!) Might I add that still it can take me by surprise and I feel the pain all over again.

I just wish I could hug you in person - but I am in Spirit! :hug:

Celtic Moon: I'm am so very sorry that little Dylan couldn't stay. I too know the pain, it hurts really bad but the best thing to do is let yourself feel that hurt, grieve your baby boy and the dreams you had for him. Then, I promise, one day you will awake with the sun shining on your face and smile again.

Big understanding hugs :hug:

Spring xx

so sorry to hear of your loss hun :hug:

May you find comfort in this difficult time. No mother should ever be made to say goodbye to a child no matter how small.

You are surrounded by people who care and understand what you're going through. :grouphug:

I went and got some Rosemary and a little baby statue today for the garden. I thought it would make me feel better but it doesn't yet, guess I will wait and see. Here are some pics..

http://users.tpg.com.au/badxe/Dylan%20grave.jpg

http://users.tpg.com.au/badxe/Dylan%20grave%202.jpg

Ohhh CM, how sweet, I am so sad for you. :(

I am so sorry for your loss, CM and like the others I am shocked and appalled ay the hospitals idea of treatment. For now I will be grateful for them saving your uterus and not letting their incompetance cost you anymore than it already has.

I am so glad you got your DP to take the photo. You may regret that decision now, but you coule well have set yourself up to regret not taking one for a good deal longer.

The ache never goes away. It will always be there - you just need time to adjust to having it. I definitely agree that it is best if both you and your DH ensure that you work through your grief and talk when you feel you need to. You cant let yourself or him bury it and try and go on pretending its not there.

You have done a beautiful job on his memorial.

CM - I am so sorry for your loss. Words cannot express the pain and trauma you've been through and are still going through. The pain will feel overwhelming, but unfortunately we can't rush through it. Cry, talk, write, walk, scream, sleep, do whatever you need to get through each day. The memorial is so beautiful, I hope it helps to ease the pain a bit.

Can you take sick leave as well as compassionate leave? I wouldn't have thought you'd be physically able to work, let alone emotionally. Try to take at least a week off work. I know it will be hard financially, but you need to rest from the trauma. Did they assess you for shock?

Can you go to your GP? GPs can refer you to a psychologist - you can get up to 6 sessions covered by Medicare. It could be beneficial for you if someone could monitor your mental health while you're going through this. The loss is bad enough, the circumstances you had to endure made it so much worse and will take time to come to terms with. I imagine your DH is traumatised too.

The hospital sounds appalling (& if it's the one I'm thinking off, they have a poor history). When you feel up to it, you might want to complain to the Dept of Health - it's another example of incompetence in hospitals regarding pregnancy loss.

Once again, I am so so sorry.

Thank you all,

I have used my sick leave because I had the flu and my son was sick with croup and carers leave gets taken out of your sick leave so I have none left. Im at home today Im not really having a good day. Physically I can sit at a desk and type, Im not allowed to lift anything heavy or over exert myself so they said i could go to work monday if i wanted to.

I rung the social worker at the hospital, Im seeing her tomorrow and will go from there she knows counsellors, support groups etc, well at least I hope she will as she is local to my area, ty again Mum2 for her number.

I got flowers sent to the hospital to the two nurses that fought so hard to save me and my bits, I know a girl who is an ambo who knows them, she is going to give them hugs from me today as well I told her to tell the hospital to tripple their pay because they need to keep a hold of them, she said she would tell the head of staff what i said about them and I said she could give them my phone number to verify if needed, I hope the hospital does something nice for them.

I just want my baby back... why can't he still be healthy and happy and growing away... my heart keeps breaking over and over, shouldn't I run out of pieces soon?

I saw the social worker today I told her what happened and she is going to organise for the head obstitrician (sp?) and manager of maternity to speak with me. The Ob. will go through my file and try and explain everything that happened to me and where things went wrong and why and talk to me about trying to concieve again and see if together with the dr that saw my baby if they can give me an indication of what could of caused it.

The head of maternity I'm going to talk to about my emergency care when I first got to hospital, my feelings of being dismissed like I didn't know what my own body was telling me and being sent home to miscarry in the bathroom. She is then going to talk to the drs that attended to me and then tell my story to all the ppl at the ward in hopes that this will not happen to anyone else again and after hearing my story they may or may not write to the minister with some recommended policy changes. I said to them I don't want compensation, I don't want to complain, and I don't want the ppl involved to get in trouble, but I don't want it to happen again and I don't want to be swept under the table and forgotten.

The social worker thinks I need to deal with and be debriefed on all the other things that have happened and to try and come to terms with my near death experience before I can grieve properly, so hopefully these meetings help me get some closure so I can start to heal because I don't feel like I'm really going forward in life I just keep thinking of all the horrible things that happened and I can't let them go...

CM glad you saw the social worker & glad she is organising an appt with the OB for you. Hope you get some answers.

CM - I am so sorry for the loss of precious Dylan, xoxox

oh hun how horrible for you :hug: I can't imagine your pain. Can you take some time away from work and the world and greive your son?
RIP sweet angel baby Dylan

:hug:

:hug:

so sorry to hear hun.

RIP little one.

Ty all, the social worker didnt ring today like she said she would so i doubt im going to get those meetings this week :( hopefully soon though I don't think she'd have forgotten me just yet...

I got a little statue of a baby today, it just called to me, it has big angel wings it's curled up in sleeping. He's going amoung my crystals and flowers and pics of Ryan on the dresser...

I just read your first post... :( i'm so very sorry for your huge loss. That's so so sad. :comfort: how awful.... please take care of yourself.

RIP little one.

CM :hug:,

I am so terribly sorry to hear of the loss of your precious little baby boy Dylan.

Take all the time you need to greive darl and know you have everyone here for you to help you get through this very difficult time.Thinking of you x

I'm so sorry for your loss and the awful treatment you have recieved. Hugs.

I have that same little statue that a very special freind gave me, xoxox

I'm so sorry for your loss :hug:

I hope the debrief helps you to start to process what has happened.