2 weeks after d and c

and today i am a mess, we would have been 12 weeks now! stop these damn tears!
has anyone else become totally obsessed with being pregnant after a loss? Oh only to fell the little one inside, its like i need it to happen, NOW.

Im sorry to hear about your loss. I had a M/C 5 months ago and still cry daily,even know that I have just found out that im pregnant. I know people have said get over it and move on but they havnt had a loss so dont really think they can comment at all.

After my M/C I became very obsessed with trying to get pregnant again, my poor DH! It has been the hardest 5 months of my life (well so far anyway). I got very depressed,shut everyone out around me & became a big mess.

Hi Catrionalee,

Firstly I am so sorry for your loss. It's such a hard thing to go thru.
What I never understood before I went thru it myself is how hard it is and that the pain doesnt just go away in 2 weeks.
I too went thru the 12 week etc thing. Sadly I think it just makes it all harder. You need to grieve and it takes time. I can tell you that it does get easier. I just passed my 'due date' a few weeks ago and that was pretty tough but overall am doing much better.
Focus on you for a while. Don't be embarrassed about the grieving process. Some people take a lot longer then others.
Keep busy and focus on making your body ready to try again..

Hi Catrionalee

I know how you feel, you are not alone. I am still tortured by it everyday, i would have been 13 weeks now and i have constant reminders of what i dont have daily.

It will get easier with time but you will never forget.

Hi Mrs B
How did you find out you needed clomid?
We are going to see if we can get in to see ob/gyn in january - i have no idea what that might entail?
big hugs to you, we arent very far off in our losses.

Catrionalee

My FS recommended it to try for 5-6 cycles before moving to IUI/IVF if we are unsecessful. We are in the "unexplained infertiltiy" area (not a nice place to be). I already ovulate but the clomid tricks your brain into thinking you are not producing any oestrogen which in turn makes you produce greater amounts of follicle stimulating an lutenising hormones. So hopefully, besides increasing the number of eggs it will also reduce the length of my cycle (usually 5 weeks, love to be 4 weeks lol).

So for me it was not a matter of needing it, just a tool to help increae our chances of concieving.

Also it's not very expensive, that's a bonus. It wouldnt hurt to ask your ob/gyn about it.

Wishing you all the best and sending you another cyber

Thankyou Mrs b, i will certainly ask!

Hi Cationalee
I am so sorry to hear about your loss.
I lost my baby over a year ago and I still find it hard. I go to counciling etc and I am starting to feel better. Go to your GP and talk to them and get a referal for a counciler.
I am like you and want to have a baby asap, but so far no BFP for me.

Take care
Chris

hi cationalee

sorry for your loss [big hugs]

it's been 5 mnths for me now and i'm still waiting for my bfp but hopefully you won't have to wait that long

goodluck ttc xx

hi catrionalee,
so sorry to read of your lost angel. I had a mc earlier this year, even though it has been months I still grieve for what might have been, be kind to yourself, I found going back to work helped me think about other things, also writing down the whole sad and experience really helped me come to terms with exactly how I was feeling.
The best thing I found was the support and inspiration I received from coming here to bb.
I joined the ttc after mc and loss thread evn tho not ttc at the time, seeing those girls get their bfps instilled such hope in me that it was possible to go thru all that again.
I hope in some small way I have helped, I am here if you need to chat.
xxx

Hey guys,

Thankyou all for your kind words. I am going to see a counsellor this afternoon who specilises in fertility/miscarriage issues.
In a way I am trying to draw all these sad feelings into positive - exercising, eating better (even though we eat very well, maybe just a little too much!)
So, trying to lose a little weight, and have bought the new blackmores convieve well vitamins.
I am hoping we will be ready to try around feb/march next year. the thing is we seem to have no problem concieving (both pregs were uplanned, and we are quite careful) as was my daughter, 6 years ago (different daddy)...... its just a matter of getting the baby to stick!
And its exciting to being starting to think about really trying, and not by accident. So i am trying to put all my energies there.
Its kinda working

Hi Catrianalee.

sorry your little one didn't stay. I have had a M/C at 10 weeks and also became my mandate to get pregnant again ASAP, it took six months but then this baby also left at 27 weeks. One thing I did learn is that you need to unpack the baggage from the first pregnancy before moving on to try again otherwise you just compound the problem and issues you will face. Seek to find the answers within and not in external sources such as Obs. Doctors, treatments etc. The councelling would be more in line with seeking out the source of your anxieties, fears concerns. Take back your power, don't give it over to others. Just my 2 cents worth, feel free to disagree !!!

Mrs B26 - Are you aware of side effects of clomid ie drying of cervical mucus so thus preventing sperm from reaching its desired destination ? I hope you have researched this yourself not just blindly following advise from an "expert"

Minnie mouse I agree with what you say about the grieving process. But is keeping busy really grieving or just another distraction from dealing with the real issue ? Is becoming obsessed with trying again or concieving again going to help anyone ?

Hi Smiley

I hadnt heard of the side effects such as drying of mucus - have read a little more about clomid since having read the above.
I have also read that evening primorose oil is especially beneficial to cervical musuc and have upped my intake of that.
Can you refer me to any articles you have come across yourself? Would be greatly appreciated!

SmileyP, i am well informed of this. On advice from my fs i have taken evening primrose oil from af to O and we have been using pre-seed also when necessary. The epo doesnt increase cm but thins it out as such which is why we have the pre-seed also. It's really good for helping swimmers on their journey.

Thank you for your concern though, that's the wonderful thing about BB, you learn so much

((((hugs)))) i am sorry for your loss it is a very dark place to be and i know it well you WILL get through it but remember to take the time to think and feel alot as pregnancy is also an intence and fragile time for many people (just from what i experienced and i am not saying it will happen to you) if you dont take the time to deal with the loss of THIS baby it can make a new pregnancy become a very anxios and sad time - which isnt how it is supposed to be

i am sorry did that come out wrong ? best intentions intended

Two weeks isn't very long, it is ok to still be sad upset angry whatever you feel, and perfectly normal to still be crying about your little one so let the tears flow I say