3rd MC in 10 months how do you find the strength to get through it all.

Im so sorry to hear what you are going through and heartbroken for you
what a horrible doctor that is to say something so cruel
Huge hugs to you:hug:

How's everything going hun? Have you been back to the doctors? Thinking of you xoxoxo :hug: :hug: :hug:

First of all I want to thank each and everyone of you for your suport and hugs.

Please be warned that the following info is very graffic and could be disturbing, sorry if TMI here. I was woken at 5am with severe cramping that continues until 8am when I got up from our table and took one step when I felt a pop inside and then gushed watery fluid,blood and bub, I then raced to the loo to change my pads as I thought I had just started bleeding heavily when I got to the loo I found bub on my pad. Bub looked like a normal 9week 4 day bub to me he/she has 2 eyes, 2 arms and 2 legs still with a very small tail and measuring about 3cm long. I then rang the DR and he said I could take bub in to have him/her sent away for testing at Brisbane if I would like to do that. This time the DR was very cautious with his words and gave me some very kind words as he said that bringing bub in and putting bub in a container was a very hard thing to do especially when you are by yourself, as DF had to work this morning and this was the last thing we expected to happen today. It will take about 2 weeks to get any results back from the lab and I personally do not think they will find anything wrong with my angel. My bleeding has no eased off alot and I no longer have any cramps so with out being able to find the right words to explain myself I guess the worst is now over with this MC.
I am heart broken that you left us my darling, but please fly safe and be free with your little brothers or sisters that we never got to meet, you will all always be in our hearts and our dreams and please know mummy, daddy and big sis will always love you all forever my angel babies.
xoxoxoxoxox

:cry: Oh, hun, that's terrible! Lots of :hug: :hug: :hug: It would have been so hard to place bub in a container and send bub away.....thinking of you lovely xoxoxo
Im so sorry :cry:

It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but I really feel I had to do it to know one way or the other if something was wrong with bub or not IYKWIM. I am hoping and praying it will give the specialist something to work on when I finally find one and hopefully it will change our luck around and then my angel wouldn't have passed for no good reason. I am totally devastated today and it was just horrible to go through seeing bub so lifeless and he/she felt so cold to touch.

Im so incredibly sorry you had to go through that, especially alone :hug: I hope you get some answers soon.

Clairesmummy -so, so sorry for what you have gone through esp today. I think you have done the right thing though taking the baby in for testing. Hopefully something will come from it that lets you move forward & get some answers. So very sorry though that you have to suffer yet another loss. I have had 2 losses at 12 weeks & then last month an early loss/ mc. I too will be following up with testing if anything more goes wrong for me. When you think of the pain & heartbreak some of us have to go through when there may be a simple cause/ solution - I think we owe it to ourselves to trust our instincts & not be deterred by ill knowing Dr's.
Anyhway, rant over. I will be thinking of you & sending you healing vibes over the weeks ahead.
xxxx

Sweetie - I am so so sorry to hear of your loss.... again. Will be back in soon to respond.... just can't find the words now.. Hugs.

Clairesmummy, how are you going now? have you got any results back? I pm'd you. i just want to let you know that i am constantly thinking about you and are sending you hugs xx

Im so sorry for your loss. M/c again and again is so very cruel.

My last m/c was 2 months ago and it is still quite hard to deal with sometimes. I hope you are doing ok.

Thinking of you.

Dory, Melster and Diamond Girl ~ Thank you all so very much for your thoughts and hugs, it means alot to me more than words can explain. No results from bubs testing as yet should get them sometime next week.
I'm not doing very well at all, I feel so alone in all this and really feel like no one cares, but that is so far from the truth. I have a great DH who is very supportive and so are my family and friends but I still feel so alone and feel like I am living in a black hole that is spiralling out of control. I can't seem to find any motivation to do even the simplest of jobs around the house and I have never been like that, I used to always keep myself very busy all day.
Everyday that comes by nothing seems to ease the pain of what is now my life, I lost my baby then 1 week later I lost my dog which again broke my heart even more she was my mate and my true support and strength and now she has also been taken from me. I have no idea where to turn or what to do next, I feel like I am pushing everyone away that I love as I am now scared I am going to lose them as well. On top of everything else I am having huge problems with the MIL who is a total ***** to us and couldn't give a rats backside about what we are going through.
I don't know if we will ever TTC again as this loss has broken my heart but in saying that I also want answers as to why I am losing all my babies, I always thought god looked after good people but I have my doubts about him as well.

Sweetie - first things first - big hug. I wish I could just come out and hug you and help you through. I know where you have been, and it's a dark scary place. There is hope and there is light, but it's a fight to get there.

Second - Inanna has a great sticky on the sorts of testing that can be done for you after recurrent m/c... I'll post the link in here - the best thing to do about it is to get knowledgeable. So ask your GP for copies of all the tests results that have come back for you. Get those little test results in your hot little hand. It means when you do go to another Dr that you have all the info right there and don't have to wait around.

Here's that link https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...rmation-25483/

Third - if you're really wanting to explore all avenues and you have some $ - try seeing a reproductive endocrinologist or an endo that specialises in reproduction ( they will be better able to help you with your progesterone and hormone questions) and possibly a reproductive immunologist ( this is a more emerging area of reproductive medicine, Dr Sacks in Sydney specialises in this area and there is another Dr in Melbourne) Dr S offers ph appointments. I had an appointment with him but didn't need it... so did one of my friends.... so maybe just maybe even just having an appointment will help bubs stay sticky? If you're moving to the Sunny Coast, then Brisbane is not far away from there really. Not if you want to see a specialist.

Fourth - how you got to meet your little one is very traumatic.... don't discount that in your grieving. As shocking and traumatic as it can be though, that wee one is beautiful, and got to know their mother's touch and feel her tears. That is truly a beautiful gift for both you and your wee one. Even though your wee one was cold to teh touch, your love warmed their soul and will evermore.

Fifth - sweetie - multiple losses are hard, very hard. It's normal to feel so very alone and to feel so very scared about losing those you love. It's normal to feel scared and to be in a dark place. I knew however, when all of those things stayed with me for a while, that it was time to get help. I know it's hard where you are to access services, so I'd recommend you call SIDS and KIDS they offer telephone counselling as does Lifeline. I know it's hard to make that call, but you need someone, other than DH, and BB and friends and family to help you through....

24 hours bereavement counselling 1300 308 307

And a link to their website Bereavement Support | Sids and Kids

Fifth - For me there is no answer in God. I was raised in the church. I think I was raised with a view of a benevolent God - that is a God who looks after good people. I am a good person more or less. I don't believe in God anymore. That's just me. There is no God conceivable to me that would take my 3 perfect children from me and make this journey so very hard for so many other women. I also can't believe in original sin, my angels did no wrong and were pure souls. But those questions are for another time.

Now is the time to focus on you... go gently my sweet one as you start to heal both physically and emotionally. I hold you and your angels close to my heart.

Oh sweetie how did I miss this? My hearts breaks for you. This is so unfair,:hug:

ClairesMummy, Im sorry you are feeling so down. I know how hard it is, and how alone you feel, even though you are supported by a great DH and friends. Me too. Everyone expects you to just get over it, and its not really socially acceptable to talk about it, so it can stay bottled up if you let it.

Dory has given you some great advice, and you really should consider ringing the number she has given you, especially as you feel that you cant do ordinary tasks.

Still thinking of you sweety.

Clairesmummy I have been thinking about you since your loss. Multiple losses are so hard and it sounds like the MIL issue is making a hard time harder. It can be a lonely time. I know i also had that 'black hole' feeling for a while after each loss. Things started to improve as i physically got better. I hope you will start to feel a little better soon. I hope if you feel like you are having trouble getting yourself through the day you will find someone you can talk to (as Dory suggested). Huge hugs... I hope some 'sun' starts breaking through the 'clouds' soon.

I think of you everyday just at a loss for words for what you have had to go through.
Dory had all the good advice
Just wanted you to know we haven't forgotten you
Im so sorry your angel couldn't stay with you
:-(

Clairesmummy, i can hear you're pain and it makes me so sad! Can you go to counseling at all? is there anyone near you? What about anti depressants for a short while? do you think they could help at all? You're grieving and its totally understandable you're feeling the way you do and feeling in a hole. Give you're self permission to grieve. Give you're self permission to be in that hole for a little while and then you'll have to start digging you're self out. I dont think there is any easy quick fix, except time........I know what you're saying about being alone but having people around you, just as long as you know there are people around to call on when you really need them. TTC'ing will be the last thing on you're mind, and dont even worry about that until you have had time to grieve for you're babies and until you maybe have some answers. Maybe once you get you're results that might help a little bit. I so wish there was something i could do to help or say that would make things better for you. I am here any time you need me and i am thinking of you. Big hugs

Heya sweetie - how are you going today? Have the results come back.... if so how are you processing them? Hugs. Today I want you to consciously do one nice thing for yourself - it can be anything, a nice cup of tea, a bath, brushing your hair, sitting outside for a moment and just breathing, but what ever it is, do it consciously and deliberately. Hugs