Our precious Baby Jayden born sleeping 28-02-10 (20 weeks)

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious ~Jayden~

Thank you for sharing your story - and your precious angel, with us

(((hugs)))

Gemini - thankyou for sharing your truly touching and beautiful words about your darling precious son Jayden. I am so sorry you are hruting so much right now. There are no words. Know that you are loved and cared for by those of us on BB. Go gently sweet one.

How are you doing today?

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Gemini - thankyou for sharing your truly touching and beautiful words about your darling precious son Jayden. I am so sorry you are hruting so much right now. There are no words. Know that you are loved and cared for by those of us on BB. Go gently sweet one.

How are you doing today?

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Dory, thank you for sharing your kind words. It's different from day to day. Some moments I'm thinking I'm fine and others I just want to cry. I have been reading a lot and find comfort in thoughts of Jayden continuing on his Spirit Journey. I like to keep things close by that remind me of Jayden. DH is very supportive as is all the family.

My son has had problems last week and was not at school all week. Today is the first day we have gone back to some sort of routine, kids were at school and DH at work, but it has not been an easy one. I went to visit my mum this morning and as i was nearing her house I came upon a motorbike accident. I was shacking and in shock as I was one of the first on the scene, however after getting off the phone from 000 I could see there wasn't to much damage, the guy on his bike swerved and manage to miss the car that failed to give way, a little bruised and battered but he was ok aside from the shock.
I continued on to my mums after the guy was taken in the ambulance and had a good day chatting to mum about things. When I came home, I started reading my book again before having to pick up the kids. I looked up at the clock to check what the time was and realized that my clock had stopped at the exact time of the accident this morning. I was in shock again. I text my mum asking if I was going mad. I had to pick up my children so I tried to compose and set off. I seen my DD walking and stopped around the corner after giving way to a child on a push bike. I heard kids laughing and teasing, when I asked my DD what was going on, she replied "he just ran into me with his bike". My day just keeps getting weirder. I told DH about this as he finished work and asked him to meet me at the recreation centre, telling him to take it easy on the road. When he finally got there he told me that on the way he came across a motorbike accident and the motorbike was crumpled. The situation, although a mess, was under control and he need not stop.

Someone please tell me what is it with motorbikes - or pushbikes - or even clocks, today?

So i'll stop rambling now!

P.S I'm not sure if I am doing this reply thing correctly, i'm still new to bb.

so very sorry to hear of your loss, it must be very hard to cope right now so i'll just say that my thoughts are with you.

Gemini - oh blossom. You did the reply thing ok!

I had a similar experience of being first on the scene of an accident not long after one of my losses, and it shook me to my very core. I so understand how you were feeling. I am so glad you were on your way to your Mum's, because I think it was good for you to be with her. For me I was on the way to my counsellors, thank god. When I got there, early and shaken, she just held my hand, and told me I was early and she was with another client. I went away to a local aprk and just sat quietly for a while, but her holding my hand made all the difference in the world to me. If you find you are really struggling with your feelings, try a counsellor. I am glad I found mine, she is truly the most amazing person. I am ever grateful of the sense of peace she could help me find.

But the rest of your day? Way too werid for me to really think about. Just a crazy coincidence?

It's so hard to get back into a "routine", just see how you go and try not to force it, on the days it just isn't going to work for you. It's ok to cry at weird times or at any time. Grief is hard and unpredictable, one day at a time.

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Our precious little Jayden you were with us such a short time. We had very little time to bond with you, though the bond was so strong and I will forever treasure the time we had. I will never forget seeing your heart beating away at our 7 week scan; it bought us so much joy. It was also about this time that I discovered you were not that fond of Farmers Union Feel Good Iced Coffee or Villies Pies, you much preferred plain old water or plain milk.

Every day I was reading up on information about your development, when your arms and legs started to appear, how your eyes and ears were developing when you would be able to hear Mummy and Daddy talking, and how big you were growing from week to week. I would tell Daddy about new developments every week.

At 13 weeks we went for another scan and could see your movements for the first time
You had grown so much bigger since 7 weeks and we could see you floating about. You were very fascinated with your facial features and keen to investigate with your hands. We would joke of how we thought you were practising putting on aftershave. You had big soccer feet and we looked forward to someday introducing you to the wonderful world of soccer. We got a copy of the ultrasound and have watched it over and over, my heart overflowing with so much love and happiness each time I watched it. We were convinced you were a boy but this could not be confirmed at this scan.

I continued to read up on each weekly progress and was becoming impatient waiting for the next scan at 20 weeks. I would get excited each time I thought I was starting to feel you move around inside my belly. I’d wish that I’d had my own personal ultrasound at home.

The day finally arrived for our 20 week scan and I was so happy that it was finally here. I told the sonographer that Daddy and I wanted to find out if you were going to be a little girl or little boy and requested a copy of the ultrasound. Little did we know that the news we were about to hear is not what any parents want to hear. We couldn’t find your heart beat; you had only survived a short time after our last scan. We were sent to the hospital to induce labour but I denied the claims and demanded another machine at the hospital to do another scan. The second scan showed the same results and so it was time, I had to deliver you to the world. You were born silently on the 28th of February, 2010. Your body so tiny that we could not dress you. I held your little hand and counted out the fingers. We could also see that you were in fact very much a little boy. We stayed with you for most of the day. It was the longest, yet shortest day of my life.



We cry so many tears of the sadness of your passing yet we feel very proud that you chose us as your Mummy and Daddy. We have to say goodbye to you for now, but you will be forever in our hearts. Rest in Peace Jayden – "God Has Heard"

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You are one amazing woman, thank you for sharing your precious story always celebrete Jayden as he will be forever in your heart.