"There's no baby..."

I'm terribly sorry again OP and sorry you were treated like crap at the hospital. I too have been through what you have & still count it as a lost baby. I know in my heart there was baby and even though I couldn't see him/her on the u/s, I still count it as an angel baby.
Grief is something one goes through differently and you don't have to think about how you should feel, just feel & be in the moment. If that means screaming, then do it, if it means crying, then do it. I still grieve for all my angels - I had plans, hopes, dreams for their futures and that is what I now grieve for.

I'm so very sorry.

Regards,
Dianne

my 13 week loss was also a blighted ovum like you, I was 12 and a half weeks when I started to bleed but only had a sac measuring 9 weeks, also had a D&C I still count it as a loss, the sperm still had to bind with the egg to make that and to me that is a conception and therefore a loss. you have every right to feel grief. I still do. Big hugs.

I hate those words 'well at least xyz.....' almost as much as I hate that 'I'm sorry the baby has gone'.

You deal with this however you need and you take as long as you need.

I am so sorry you are experiencing this grief.

Every pregnancy carries with it our hopes and dreams. From the minute we find put. Font judge your feeling. They are real.

Hugs

I'm so sorry that you're going through this :hug::hug: sending you my thoughts and strength to help you through :comfort: xx


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Thank you everyone. Thank you for validating my feelings... Thank you for understanding. DH does get it, as much as he can anyway, and he was just trying to make me feel a bit better about things I guess.

I'm still sad. So very sad. This morning we told DD that there was no baby in mummy's tummy anymore. I don't think she really got it but I cried a little bit anyway.

And I should mention that while the staff in Emergency on Thursday were all a bit meh, the nurses and Drs I saw yesterday were excellent. Compassionate, kind, gentle.

I pulled off the sticky patch where the cannula was just before. I'm about to jump in the shower and wash off the lovely antiseptic stuff they rub all over your legs etc before the procedure. Then it'll be all gone. Like it never happened.

Except for what's inside... Or not inside :(

I'm so sorry, I've had a blighted ovum too and it just seems so confusing to be grieving something that was never there, even though the dream was... I'm so, so sorry. Please accept all my love and hugs, and take care of yourself hun xx

OP, I am so sorry that you had to go through all that. My fisrt IVF pregancy ended the same way (at 9wks) and I grieved.

You should grieve however is best for you.....you had hopes and dreams for this baby and your family.

Please take care of yourself and your family.....Thinking of you heaps and sending lots of hugs and care your way.

Oh sweetheart.
I'm so so sorry.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a blighted ovum and I didn't know until 10 weeks 3 days when we had our routine ultrasound at the OB office. I was devistated and we had seen a heartbeat at 6 weeks. What happens is that when the baby dies early on it gets reabsorbed into the body so if you have a scan it shows an empty sac. You def had a baby in there and it's heatbreaking.

I also had a very insensitve nurse after my D&C. She was braging about her pregnancy in detail with collegues while I was lying there recovering after having my baby sucked out of me. She was the same gestation as I was suppsed to be.

I'm so, so very sorry. :hug:

xox

Oh honey I'm so sorry. THinking of you.

Darling I'm so sorry for your loss :hug: As others have said, from the moment you got your BFP you dreamed of your baby. To then have that dream taken from you is devastating. Be gentle with yourself :hug:

I'm so sorry, be kind to yourself as you grieve :(

Oh hunny I'm so sorry. No advice just :hug:

I am so sorry OP :hug:

:hug: :hug: :hug:

I am sorry I didn't see this earlier

:comfort:

:hug: OP, I didn't see this yesterday. I'm so very sorry :hug:

I have no more words hun, just lots of these :hug:


Sent from my iPhone, more than likely while I should be doing something else!

:hug: OP, I am so sorry.

I am so unbelievably sad for you beautiful lady. Big :hug:.

:hug:

Im so so sorry huni xx much love and hugs xx


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OP, Im so very sorry for your loss. The shock, pain and emptiness of it all can be overwhelming at times and Im so sorry you have to experience this too. :hug:

I just wanted to share something with you, with my last loss in June, I had an u/s at 8 weeks and saw the baby on the screen, by 9.5 weeks it had passed away and was measuring at 7 weeks. I had a final scan at 10.5 weeks at a different clinic just before my D&C and they could not find the baby at all. They called it a 'blighted ovum', even though I knew it wasnt because Id seen the baby at the previous two u/s. They told me the embryo shrinks quite rapidly after death. Perhaps this happened to you also? Either way, your loss IS real and you are every bit entitled to grieve your loss.

I had similar experiences with medical staff. Sometimes they can be a quite insensitive (without meaning to be) at the time when you are dealing with your loss and it can make you hurt even more. I nearly wanted to punch a nurse for what she said to me as I was being wheeled in for my D&C :hug:

Thinking of you OP at such a difficult time.:hug:

I'm so sorry OP.
I don't know what to say, I dont think there are words...
Just huge hugs to you and your family.

Oh hun this is just devastating news. I am so sorry. :cry: My heart stopped when I saw the title and the last post referred to you. I feel huge grief and loss for you and DH, DD & DS so definitely you are allowed to as well.

I feel so sad. Please let me know if there's anything you need.

I'm sending you a thousand :hug: xx

Sent from my phone.

OP. I read this thread last night and couldn't reply straight away. I feel your pain hun.

I thought of you all last night and what you have written and really wanted to come up with some magic words that would take away all your sadness and hurt, but I know thats just not possible :(

I share the thoughts of everyone else that has posted here and say that you have every right to grieve. Infact- you need to grieve!

Much love to you and your family OP. :comfort:

My heart is breaking for you hun - sending you lots of love, hugs and support :hug:

:cry: Its so unfair! I am so sorry you have had to go through this. It is awful and no matter what the doctors say you DID lose a baby, and i wish i could take all your pain away :hug: :comfort:

Go gently OP :hug: I'm so sorry you are going through this

Oh no Op. I'm so sorry this has happened.

I'm so sorry.
(((HUGS)))

:

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OP, you have every right to grieve and mourn the loss of the little one you thought you would be holding in your arms next year. The fact is, even with an anembryonic pregnancy, you were pregnant. You conceived out of love. Don't let anyone take that away from you.

Go gently x

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n2l said it perfectly. I am so sorry :comfort:

So sorry to hear your story. Any emotion you feel is yours, its real and its valid, so allow yourself to feel it. Thinking of you xxx

I am so very sorry OP.

Sending lots of :hug: to you.

Oh sweetie I am sorry. xx

Oh OP I'm devastated to read this has happened to you. :cry:
You have every right to grieve this loss. Huge hugs.

:hug: I don't know what to say OP, I'm just so devestated for you and your family. Know that you're in my thoughts :hug:

OP, I've just read this :hug:
I understand that empty feeling. Of course you can grieve, you have lost something. There was a baby. In your mind you had hopes and dreams and plans and now it has unexpectedly and unfairly changed. I understand how devastating that is.
Thinking of you often and :pray: for you. :hug: