Dilemma – Scan or no scan
I’ve been thinking about Tres’s health for a while and how the fact that my body is 44 years old can
impact her development. I haven’t done any tests so far. Not even a pregnancy test but I’m aware my age presents a higher risk for my pregnancy.
At the same time this is how life works, isn’t it? True that the older you get your body doesn’t
function as in our 20s but at the same time I wonder if it’s still a good enough reason to be extra
vigilant? To add unwelcome stress to my pregnancy?
The worst for me to attend an appointment with a healthcare provider is the “what ifs” that come running to my head. I understand that checking is not going to change anything but… it might do, don’t you think?
Stress and worry have a huge impact on our unborn babies and for me, the fact that I’m going to be
checked brings up a lot of doubt and uncertainty. At the same time, if my baby is going to have a problem, I’d like to know to be prepared. I’m planning to give birth at
home just with my family and I want to know if my baby is going to need any extra care.
I’m 44. Much wiser than when I was previously pregnant. Not only my personal experience and
knowledge have increased but also my self-trust. Still, I keep debating if I should have that scan or
not.
It seems I’ve already made the decision but I’m a bit reluctant to accept it.
We discuss this at home and although I don’t like to have unnecessary tests done I’ve agreed to have a scan now.
At the birth center
First friends we’ve made here happen to run their own birth center ‘Salud Primal’ close by.
The morning of our appointment at ‘Salud Primal’ (even their name feels like a good sign; Primal Health. Our primal period covers from conception until a year after we’re born. It sounds pretty comprehensive to the bases of our health).
I wake up nauseous and happy. When a worry appears, I push it away as far as possible. We are going to see Tres and we’re all excited.
The moment Misael, the obstetrician puts the probe on my belly I take a deep breath. I’m nervous. There is Tres. Active and waving away. Everyone in the room is excited at the sight. Misael soon tells me Tres seems absolutely fine and all the parameters are within normal limits. Very short visit and reassuring.
It was nice to see Tres and calming to know she’s on her own there and there’s no surprise
‘Cuatro’. My grandma has had a twin miscarriage and they run in families jumping one generation.
I’m losing weight but I’m not worried. I’ve got plenty of reserve fat (this is one of the reasons our fat
redistributes during puberty, for those periods when we aren’t going to eat much but still must
nurture our offspring). I’m looking forward to welcoming food in me!
Still vomiting in the evenings. Sometimes at night. Waiting patiently and knowing this shall pass,
hopefully soon.
I’m referring to my baby as a “she” for now. I don’t know the sex and I don’t want to find out until birth. However, babies are usually referred to as default as male and well, just half of them are so as a woman, a mother of daughters, and as a feminist, I’m using “she” as a way to refer to a baby when I don’t know her sex.
