I’ve dreamt I was breastfeeding Tres. A beautiful blonde baby without a lot of hair. In my dream, the name Lúa, the name we’ve chosen if Tres is a girl, appeared but I’m not quite sure if I was calling my baby.
We don’t have a name for a boy yet and I’m starting to think more and more that Tres is a boy.
This pregnancy is so different… Yes, it’s been 9 years since the last time I was pregnant and oxytocin makes us forget many things that were directly related to it, however, there are many differences that I don’t want to just attribute to the time difference. I’m 9 years older, but also 9 years wiser and more knowledgeable, the connection with my body is more profound and something keeps telling me Tres is a boy.
With my first daughter, we didn’t find out the sex until she was born. She appeared to me while I was looking after a woman in her labor and I saw my daughter clearly. We only had a girl’s name and as this time we only have a girl’s name also, this idea has made me think she might be a girl. But something tells me not to be so sure. That sign was very strong and revealing with my firstborn but now it’s not.
I keep looking for boys’ names. My baby feels so different from his sisters… As we’ve been calling him Tres all the way, my husband looked up the meaning of Tres and it’s actually related to masculinity.
I’ve come to the part of pregnancy where it’s pretty obvious I’m pregnant and some people I encounter make conversation of it. Asking about my baby’s sex comes up quite frequently. I tell them it’s a surprise and we’ll find out when the baby is born.
Another thing that tells me Tres is a boy is his heartbeat.
Not knowing the baby’s sex until birth was quite common in the UK, and also in other places where I’ve lived and worked with pregnant women like Bangladesh, India, Indonesia, and Nepal. Working as a midwife has allowed me to understand many things from the babies’ heartbeat and Tres has sounded like a boy since the very beginning.
I understand I’m saying this just following my intuition and that there’s a chance that Tres is a girl. I’m just sharing what I’m feeling and well, I make amazing girls, so I’m not worried at all if in a couple of months Tres is finally Lúa.
We’ve never prepared anything different based on their sex. We’ve got some clothes we’ve bought for the first few weeks in different colors. We’re not bothered about colors and we seriously doubt Tres is going to mind about which color he’s wearing. Gender is a social construct and it’s us adults who have allocated blue and pink to our kids as we could have allocated green and yellow or not allocated any colors at all.
