It felt like my head was blowing up like a balloon and all fuzzy, but I could still feel all the pain, everything exactly the same.
I felt like I had no control over the situation at all.
I felt like there was nothing else for me to do but yell for the epidural, and that’s what I did. My dreams of a natural birth were dashed and I felt like a failure.
After the birth, I had a healthy baby boy but my confidence in my abilities as a mother, my instincts for what’s right for my body and baby, even who I am as a person were deeply shaken.
I fell into a deep postnatal depression and was prescribed yet more drugs, antidepressants, which didn’t really help.
It wasn’t until I realised that it was this whole artificial hurried process, synthetic oxytocin, and lack of a proper support structure, that had undermined my self esteem and natural body processes, and I started a journey to really understand how to do this birth thing right with evidence based information and practical advice from people who have been there and done it, countless times.
This is why I want to help you to reduce your chances of becoming a statistic in the system, of having a disappointing experience and wondering what the heck happened.