Smug New Mama’s Rant Goes Viral For All The Wrong Reasons

Smug New Mama's Rant Goes Viral For All The Wrong Reasons

It’s not unusual for parenting posts to go viral on social media.

A sleep deprived new parent just has to type something hilarious, moving or true and the post will be shared by parents around the world. Parents who are just as tired, frazzled and overwhelmed as the original poster. Parents who can identify with the message and feel better knowing they’re not alone.

Sometimes, parenting posts go viral for all the wrong reasons. This week, Sanctimommy shared a new mama’s rant on their Facebook page. The rant isn’t about how boring it is to change nappies all day long, or how tiring it is to have a nocturnal baby, it’s a judgemental rant about other parents.

The anonymous new mama is just two weeks into her parenting journey but figured that was enough experience to qualify her to publicly judge other parents. As you can imagine, the post has gone viral as other parents have been quick to call the anonymous poster a douche.

The post reads:

“It bothers me how much being a parent has turned into a martyr profession. Our children are not an excuse to be dirty, or lazy, and are not a parent’s scapegoat for whatever. Being a parent doesn’t mean leaving food under the couch, and never showering. I’m only two weeks in but so far I’ve managed to get enough sleep, cook decent meals for my family, keep my apartment clean, spend some time with Jaime, and my newborn is happy, well fed, well loved, bathed and in clean clothes and clean diapers. I see these ‘cute’ little parenting blurbs all the time, but I disagree with them on every level. No, I don’t accept that with the birth of my child came acceptance of a dirty house. If my child managed to smear peanut butter all over my curtains that tells me that I’m not watching them close enough. Food is eaten at the table, not while running through the house.”

How Do You Like Them Apples?

Once you’ve stopped laughing, this post might actually start to make you angry. Who is this mother of a two week old and why is she criticising your peanut butter painted curtains? And, most importantly, where does she live? Few things would be more enjoyable than peeking into her pristine apartment on the day when her clean, controlled world finally comes crashing down around her. Maybe you could even have a quick word with this Jaime person and let him know that it’s not really on, that his judgemental wife is stuck doing all the cleaning and cooking just two weeks after giving birth.

There are so many brilliant things about this viral post, like the fact she thinks she’ll be able to implement a ‘only eat at the table’ rule during toddlerhood. Or the fact that she’s planning to watch her toddler each and every second of the day. How will she get all the tidying done if she’s following her child around like a hawk?

Let’s try to be compassionate towards this new mother, however. Let’s remember that, even though she claims not to be, she is in the midst of those overwhelming newborn days where you can’t help but question every single thing you do. And, let’s all think back to our own beginnings and the things we thought before we were parents. Or the things we thought before our babies grew into toddlers, as we looked on disapprovingly at the raucous gaggle of toddlers wreaking havoc at the coffee morning.

The truth is, when it comes to parenting, you have no idea what it’s really going to be like until you step foot in the trenches. And by that point it’s too late to turn back, even when you realise that you are badly equipped and not at all ready for this next step.

So, let’s give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that one day, not far from now, she will regret her online rant. One day she’ll trip over a pile of laundry, find a biscuit smushed into the DVD player and realise she’s just like the rest of us. That parenting isn’t orderly, controlled or tidy. That it’s hectic, chaotic and beautiful.

The problem with the post is not that the mama is smug about being able to still do all those things, it’s that she’s judging those who can’t. She wouldn’t exactly be first on your list of play day invitees, would she? It’s ok to not find parenting hard. It’s ok to have a baby who sleeps pretty damn well. It’s ok to find breastfeeding easy and natural. It’s ok to have a beautiful birth experience that made you feel empowered. What’s not ok is making other parents feel bad because they don’t. Everyone has different priorities, different choices and different babies. Don’t judge other parents based on your assumptions. Enough of the judgement now. Can’t we all just be happy on this journey together, regardless of our differences?

Recommended Reading: Check out BellyBelly’s article 10 Big Tips For Visiting A New Baby – And Being Asked Back.

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Fiona Peacock is a writer, researcher and lover of all things to do with pregnancy, birth and motherhood (apart from the lack of sleep). She is a home birth advocate, passionate about gentle parenting and is also really tired.


  1. Some of what she says is true. To be a new mother is not an excuse not to shower or at least keep your house tidy. I am not saying it has to be spotless all the time and there comes a time when you are not able to do the showering and the cleaning and still get enough sleep. 2 weeks in is still very early and my little one also slept well at 2 weeks but then 6 weeks hit us hard and I just had enough time in between feeds for a shower.

  2. I used to think parenting was that easy too. When my firstborn was 2 weeks old and literally ate, slept and shit. I now have a 3.5 year old, a 1.5 year old and a new baby on the way. I sweep and mop every day, it’s messy within minutes of the floor drying. I cook dinner about half the time, my husband cooks the other half, if I have time at night, after the boys are sleeping, I shower. I don’t get the chance to shower everyday and last time I tried to shower during my youngest sons nap, my oldest found construction glue somewhere, only God knows where, and put it all over the dogs, the couch and the kitchen table. My boys eat lunch in front of the TV so I can sit down and eat my own lunch and clean up from lunch. I am far from the perfect mother but, to my kids, I’m their perfect mom and that’s all I care about. I feel bad for the mom who wrote this, for a couple reasons. One, of course, being that her picture perfect beginning to parenthood will eventually end in chaos but, also because she felt the need to put other parents down on social media in order to make herself feel and/or look better.

  3. I’m still early into my parenting journey. I have a 1 year old. And except for the first 8 weeks of horrendous colic and clingyness and no sleep out daughter is a very easy baby and I had my dream birth. Now I know we are 100% blessed, humble and grateful as I know this isn’t normal and we are lucky. But I would never judge other mums as to me I’m still new to this and at any time the show could drop. I respect other mothers challenges and just think how are they are to be coping or doing as well as they are. to me as long as we give our kids love, a place to sleep, teach them the best we can and how to be a good person and try to feed them nutritious food we’ve done an awesome job.

  4. Yes – and it was manageable/fun/wonderful until illness hit some/multiple/all family members; you had multiple children in different stages of mobility and development and you worked inside and outside the home with differing schedules and demands… First two weeks of the first child on leave probably do seem pretty halcyon… 🙂

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