If you want to know how to reach out and find your mama tribe, look no further. This article is for you.
Motherhood can be an isolating experience, and many new mamas struggle to find their place in the world of motherhood.
It can be scary walking into a babygroup alone. You assume everybody has already made friends and it’s ‘cliquey’. You’re tired, and suffering from a bad case of baby brain; it’s hardly a winning recipe for a good first impression, is it?
You need those women, though. You might not realise it yet, but it’s true. They’re the women who will build you up when you crumble from exhaustion. They’re the ones who will remind you of your strengths when you are doubting your motherhood skills.
5 Ways To Make Friends With Other Mamas
They’ll make you cry with laughter as they share their parenting fails with you. Your mama friends will be the self-made village it takes to raise your child.
All you need to do is get out there and befriend them. Here’s how:
#1: Flash Them A Smile
This one is critical. That resting witch face of yours isn’t going to make you any friends. To do that, you need to put on your best smile.
People are more likely to strike up a conversation with someone who looks friendly. Frowning won’t do that for you. The other mamas at baby group probably feel just as vulnerable, exhausted and exposed as you do, so throw them a smile to brighten their day.
Smiling will help lift your mood too, and make you feel more confident and ready to reach out to the other mamas.
#2: Show An Interest
Being a new mama can be overwhelming, and sometimes it’s just nice to know people care. Babies are the perfect conversations starters. It’s almost too easy.
Next time you’re at a playgroup, start a conversation with the mama next to you. You can say how much you love her baby’s outfit, ask what the baby’s name is, how the baby sleeps, and how the mama is getting on. There is so much to talk about.
And, even better, you’ll have things to say back because you have a baby as well! Exploit that shared experience and chat away.
#3: Introduce Yourself
Getting on first name terms with other mamas is an important first step. In your previous life, you probably automatically introduced yourself and found out the names of new people you chatted to. Well, that’s not necessarily going to be the case anymore.
People will be all too keen to find out the name of your baby, and then you’ll simply become so-and-so’s mum. Doesn’t feel good, does it? It just adds to the idea that you’ve lost your identity.
Well, you haven’t – and neither have the other mamas at playgroup, so make a point of finding out (and remembering) their names.
#4: Be Honest
The best way to connect with other people is to let your guard down and invite people in. As a new mother, you might be feeling vulnerable and, like many new mamas, you’ll want to put on a brave face. Don’t.
Remember, you’re sitting in a room full of people who, just like you, are finding their feet as mothers. It’s a safe place. It’s ok to admit you’re finding motherhood hard, or sometimes you don’t know why your baby is crying, or you occasionally find yourself longing for your old life.
Honesty is something the world needs more of, so speak up and make yourself heard. You might be surprised to find out how many other mamas feel the same way you do.
#5: Extend An Invitation
Ok, this is the awkward bit, but you’ll never make it to the next level if you don’t seize the opportunity. If you want to be friends with these women, you need to see them again.
You could play the long game and just show up to playgroup each week. Or you could invite everybody for an impromptu coffee at the cafe down the road straight after group. It’s revolutionary, but it might just work.
Invite people for playdates, ask to meet them for coffee, or suggest a trip to the park. Chances are, there’s a room full of women just as keen to find their village as you are.
Ok, you’ve read the theory, now it’s time to put it into practice. Don’t be shy. Just be friendly and foster connections with the other new mamas you meet. With a little bit of effort, you’ll soon find the women who will become your village.