Parenting After LT TTC ~ January - April 2008

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Here's wishing each and every one of you, a happy and easy going parenting journey after a difficult ride to get there!

Congratulations...

[monnie]

Well...here we are!

What a journey LTTTC has been! And really, the LTTTC journey was just the beginning...parenting is a huge adventure, hey?

Just wanted to say thanks so much to the BB team for opening up this thread...so appreciative!

Well...Felix is 6 months tomorrow. He's an absolute delight...but man, has my life changed!!!

I look forward to sharing our journeys together!

Cheers!

[Visitor9]

Hi too
I am mummy to Eliza an energetic 3 yr old, I struggle everyday with parenting my little miracle and have huge issues with leaving her with other people. The guilt that I fought so hard to have her and I shouldnt palm her off. I am going away with the girls in a few weeks for a week and leaving her with DH PIL and my parents ..already stressing.
Bec

[mako]

First of all I want to say a HUGE thankyou to belly belly for creating this new thread.

Monnie Wow little Felix 6 months old already.
Isn't this great that we now have our own place to call "home" I always felt like I was hijacking the ltttc thread

Anyway just a quick run down of my journey into parenthood.

Dh and I started ttc in August 2005. We became pregnant in Nov 05 and sadly m/c in Dec 05 at 5 weeks. We decided to try again pretty much straight away and were pregnant again in Feb 06. Sadly once again we had another m/c. I was devastated to say the least. I was so scared to try again but Dh knew how much I wanted to become a mummy and he wanted to be a daddy.
So we tried again for what became month after month after month.This was ongoing and as each month passed the disappointment grew and I started to think that we were never going fulfill our dream of Clomid. I had to take a low dose asprin as we found out that I had a blood clottind disorder and that was what caused me to m/c previously. I took this medication up to 34 weeks and had very regaular ultra sounds to check on bubs growth and placental function. At 36 weeks and 4 days I had a scan and was told that I would need to have my baby within the next day or 2 as my placenta had stopped functioning and bub was in danger.

So the next day I was admitted to hospital and had a c/s that afternoon and Sage was here with us. He had to go into special care for 3 days. He spent the 1st night in a humidy crib and then was in a normal cot for the next 2 days and then he was allowed to be in my room for the remainder of our hospital stay

So this was supposed to be short lol.

I look forward to sharing your parenting journeys with you all

[secochook]

Hi my name is Jason and my DW and I have a one month old girl named Luisa after over 6 years TTC. I am a bit older than I thought/wanted to be in becoming a father but am really wrapped about it. I think the hardest part so far is that after 12 years of marriage and having all but given up we had settled into a DINK lifestyle...investment property, trips overseas etc. I am now worrying about getting Luisa booked into schools and the like. Other than that I am sure we are going through all the normal things that first time parents are going through...total confusion as someone forgot to give us the operation manual!!!

Cheers

Jason
PS Is it ok for a bloke to visit this thread?

[sushee]

welcome Jason and of course you're cool to post in here.

For those who don't know me, my name is Janice but everyone here calls me sushee. I suffered from secondary infertility due to blocked tubes from an unsuccessful tubal ligation reversal. My DH and I TTCed for 3 years naturally before starting IVF and 5 stim cycles and 3 FETs later, we finally had success. We now have a son, almost 2, named Charlie.

I do feel differently with Charlie than I did with my 3 older kids (all teenagers now) but I don't know if that has to do with being older or being LTTTC, but my suspicions is that it's the latter. I am a far more anxious parent, far more of a perfectionist when it comes to my son, and just holding him close still makes me feel like I won lotto. I thought that last feeling would fade as time went on, but it hasn't at all, in fact I feel like it's become stronger. I work so I do leave him at childcare, plus I study at nights for uni after he's gone to bed, but for me, being separated from him is a means to an end - he's the focus of my ambitions, my love and all I have, so everything I do or try to achieve, I do with him in mind.

While I feel like I love him as much as I love my other kids, I think I have distinct and very powerful feelings of him being somehow more precious because it still all seems to good to be true.

So with this insanity I'll be joining you all in here!

[DJTTC]

Hi all, nice to know we have somewhere to come & visit!

Monnie - boy can I relate to how much your life changes, dh & I were together for 12 years before we had bub so I find it really hard not having 'our' time together.

Although I must say we had a spa bath with Jenna the other day & it was so special she absolutely loved watching the bubbles & talking to them.

Don't you feel to that because we have tried conceiving for so long that we can't admit how hard parenting is because after all 'this is what we wanted'!

I can't belive Felix is 6 months old already.

Well a quick intro on dh & I, we were ttc for nearly two years when our second clomid & IUI created our little miracle.

It turned out I had severe endo so had that all taken out but still couldn't get pg so that's when we started with the clomid/IUI.

As everyone knows it is such a stressful time but it is definately worth it when you have them finally in your arms.

I also had a terrible pg, then a 2 day labour so that wasn't a good time but what a joy our little princess is.

I look forward to talking to everyone & sharing their experiences, Jenna is just starting to sleep a bit better at night so that's good, although she is also starting to teeth so I guess that wont be happening for long.
It's funny how much easier everything is when you have some sleep!

Has anyone gotten rid of their baby brain yet?
I am so sick of being dumb, lol.

Jo - 28
Dh - 34

[sushee]

Jo I agree

when pg you don't feel like you can complain about all the aches and pains, and then when you have baby, you can feel like you can't complain about the sleepless nights, the leaky boobs, how you had the worst day coz baby did nothing but cry. I love Charlie immeasurably, but I know when all he wants to do is climb all over me while I'm trying to watch TV, I'm going to get peeved! And nobody better tell me how grateful I should be to have him at that moment, or they're going to get a TV remote in their eye! Lol!

Parenting IS hard and we should be able to complain if we want to! But yeah it does sometimes feel like we can't...

[Willow]

Parenting IS hard and we should be able to complain if we want to! But yeah it does sometimes feel like we can't...

Sushee - can't tell you how much I struggle with this on a daily basis.

I'm parenting after a loss, secondary infertility and IVF. I have been floored by how differently this feels to the first time I had a baby. I try not to let it feel different, but it just is.

I look forward to chatting with you all and to catching up with old friends.

I have to say, makes me warm and fuzzy to see some familiar names here and to know we've come out the other side...a little bruised and battered maybe but we got the reward we'd dreamed of!

[Allie]

Hi everyone,

Can I join in? I'd love to be part of this group.

I have a 8-month-old daughter after about three and a half years of TTC. Incredibly, ours was a natural conception, somehow achieved in the cycle immediately after a (failed) fresh IVF transfer.

I have wondered if LT TTC affects our parenting style. Certainly I think every single day how lucky we are to have our gorgeous DD. Mind you, we do have challenging moments! And our lives are still kinda upside-down!!

I probably won't be on here much as DD is not much of a day-sleeper (right now I'm thinking of all the chores I should be doing)... But I will pop in when I can.

[monnie]

Yeah...I definitely think LTTTC does impact on your parenting...

I think it's also tricky going from being long term partners to brand new parents. We've been together for 5 years before Felix arrived...and we were late newlyweds! It's strange not going out for dinner every week or going to concerts or just doing things on the spur of the moment...not that I want to go back to pre-Felix, but it is so different now...I guess it just takes time to adjust.

It's so lovely meeting all these new LTTC-ers...and Jason...you're more than welcome! Congratulations on your little girl!

[Rach75]

can I join in

it took 5 long years and 5 pg for me to finally bring my baby home he is now the most delightful 17 mth (on mon) child

he is the joy in our life the missing peive to make us complete

looking forward to getting to know you all

[Allie]

Hmm, I can relate to those who were used to the long-term DINK lifestyle (allthough I never really thought about it like that before). Absolutely everything is different now and all our money/time/energy is spent in different (and sometimes boring) areas (e.g. nappy research)!

[summerluven]

Ooooh...and can I join in too? This looks good.

I can totally relate to everyone saying how much life has changed (DH and I were just chuckling about it over our dinner of last nights left overs ) and also to feeling like you can't complain during pregnancy or once you become a parent, for fear that someone will say "but you wanted this so bad" or something along those lines. I swear...if they ever!! I have kinda been waiting for it from my mum from time to time, but I actually think in the end she felt out TTC and AC journey almost as much as we did, despite her early denial.

A little of our story (not as horrible as some). We did the deed (and considered a lot of strange ideas!) with no results for 12 months after which time I went off to the gp to ask some questions. Was expecting her to send me off to a specialist because I had a bit of a wonky cycle and some strange stuff going on, and came home dreading telling DH that he had to go and get his fella's tested. But off he soldiered, joking all the time that he would blow the scientists away with the quality and talent of his swimmers. Devastatingly for both of us, but obviously more so him, the results came back shocking!! So off we went to IVFA, and had to go through a battery of tests, including a horrible experience with a hystiospalgiogram (spelling??). We ended up bombing out on four scores - MF issues, suspected endo, PCO and a blocked tube.

Thankfully, my god-send of a FS decided that it was best to leave the slicing of my abdomen till after he had achieved a pregnancy, considering how many things we had working against us. So we did our first cycle with high spirits after being sick of trying to do it the old-fashioned way, and I ended up in hosp with OHSS for a week. Horrible. That cycle resulted in a big fat PERIOD!

Second cycle, first FET, and we got what we had been longing for. And now he is with us, a 10 month old bouncing ball of fun, energy and laughter.

Ummmm, I should shut up now. I didn't realise I had so much to say, I guess it all came flooding back when I was reading your posts.

Looking forward to getting to know you all, and to have somewhere to come where people are going to understand where I am at and where I have been.

Cheers, and thanks to BB for this special part of forum world.

[monnie]

Wow!

These journeys are really heart wrenching...just reading your stories reminds me of that awful feeling of desperation, hopelessness and despair...

...and yet...here we are...talking about parenting!!! Such a miracle...

Our journey was simply one of trying and trying with no success...we never were able to find out 'what was wrong'...everything came back as normal...after 3 years, we finally conceived...first time that I was ever able to confirm. I have a feeling that I had a few very early losses, but nothing to confirm that except "that feeling". We conceived on our first round of clomid.

Now...here's something I wanted to ask you guys about...

After the years of trying (which I realise isn't as long as some of you), our intimate lives became pretty scheduled and 'routine'. It's like DTD 'lost it's spark' after a while...not because of problems in our relationship, but more because of the constant disappointment that it brought (not at that moment...but 2 weeks later, if you get my drift!)

I think our LTTTC journey has really impacted on this part of our lives now...even now that Felix is here...

Does anyone else have this issue?

[Shezabelle]

Hi everyone.. I'd like to join in too.. I so relate to not wanting to complain out loud about pg or parenting issues.
A little about me.. DH and I started trying in March 04, I came of the pill and then 1 AF in 6months later went to GP.. testing lead to diagnosis of PCOS.
Saw FS said " It will be teadious but we'll get there"
4 clomid cycles 3 IUI including one m/c @ 8weeks, and on to IVF it was, 1st cycle OHSS no transfer 1st FET only 1 emby survived thaw no luck 2nd fresh..my beautiful daughter Issy 14months old and I am excited to add I am pg with the only emby we had to freeze after her cycle.
I struggle most with people assuming this was a natural conception and making me feel like if only I'd given it more time!! I find I am very vocal about it being another IVF bub to avoid the insinuations(SP?)
Look forward to getting to know you all better

[sushee]

monnie,

I'm supposed to be studying so will have to come back to discuss in more detail but yes, oh yes absolutely re how LTTTC has impacted on our intimacy!

Will be back tomorrow to talk more about it but didn't want to lose that point of discussion!

[Danni]

yay at finding this thread!

Hey guys, remember me? I was aka Danni

Well I am finally a mother, and Mason is 10 months old!! Its crazy...

I am really struggling though and I am dealing with guilt every single day. I wanted this baby so badly, and now I am not coping very well. He is so demanding, won't play alone, won't sleep....etc, etc etc.

Yesterday i said to my doctor in the utmost despair, "If I had have known this is what it was going to be like, I would never have tried for a baby".
I can;t believe I actually said that out aloud, but what if its true?

I love my son more than life itself but it sure is damn hard!