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Old August 11th, 2008, 11:45 AM
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Bathsheba Bathsheba is offline
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Got a minute or so while the eggs cook...

I've been through a bit of this when my DD was 6. I returned to study and the mornings became a bit more hectic. At that point DH drove her to school and they were always locking horns about being late. One thing I do remember (she is 13yo now) is that she largely dressed herself. I would brush her hair and do the final touches. Routine is the best solution to school mornings... it really helps is everything is done in the same order at the same time... kids are like horses (those holiday farm trail ride ones) and function best when things are predictable. I recall making a very simple written list and sticking it on her bedroom wall at her height:

7am Get Up
7.05 Come out for breakfast
7.20 pack bag
7.25 brush teeth
7.30 Get dressed

They had to leave at about 7.45 to be at my DD's school at 8am (she went into Before Care).

She had a digital clock in her bedroom. It was at about this age that she could read well enough to know what the list said... at first I had to help her.

Since then I have been doing less and less for her. As my study commitments increased i parented in a way that left her to her own devices in the mornings... by 7 she was making her own breakfast and by about 8 she was making her own lunch. By 9 I was doing nothing except making sure her uniform and shoes were clean and signing forms and checking homework. By 10 she was walking to school by herself. Personally think most kids are capable of this process.

Just a suggestion but maybe step back and do as little as possible. At the moment the struggle over putting on socks is unnecessary. Who puts his socks on at school when they need to remove their shoes? I bet his teacher doesn't!

I'm not saying you are parenting poorly. Only you know what is necessary for your child. Most children will try to manipulate their parents into doing as much as they can for them. it's a form of negative attention seeking behaviour. What you could try is "catching him being good". make him prefer good attention. Ignore the bad as much as possible. If he does one thing each morning without having to be told them praise him for it... if he eats his toast without argument say "that's great, you've eaten your toast would you like a milkshake?' spring a few treats in there so he tries doing the right thing more often. But he can't demand treats... say they only happen when he does the right thing without you getting cross. And they don't always happen, just sometimes....

Accept that nearly ALL parents find themselves at their wits end like you do

better go get the eggs before they boil dry!!!
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Last edited by Bathsheba; August 11th, 2008 at 11:48 AM.
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