Weight, IVF and refusal of treatment

[Tiff+2]

Thats terrible you were spoken to in this way! As a few of the other ladies have said 10 isn't over the top when it comes to being over weight! Althought I have not had any experience with IVF myself, there was a lady in our birthing classes that was a very big girl... Well and truely over weight, as was her DH and she had concieved through IVF. She openly talked about her experience and only ever had good things to say about the clinic (as it had been a very long process for her). I know that she did suffer from high PB during the preg, but anybody in any weight range can go through that same thing. She did end up with a C-Section as she was over due with a big bub and the induction wasn't working for her, once again some one of any weight could go through! Her and bub were perfectly healthy post birth!
I think you have been treated very unfairly and I would fight it! You have the same rights as any other person going through or wanting to start the IVF process. I wish you the very best of luck with it all... I look forward to seeing your preg announcement when these people wake up to themselves!!!

[Kmn]

I think that your clinic may actually be doing you a favour - in the sense that spending a few months losing weight could make a big difference to your success rate when you do actually start ivf, which would then mean fewer cycles, fewer drugs and fewer costs (both financial and physical/emotional).
A more tactful list of the advantages of weight loss prior to ivf is here:
Melbourne IVF | Associated Services - The Big Girls' Group

Maybe the best thing to do is give yourself a time period (say 4 months), and enlist some professional help from a dietician and a physiotherapist and see how you go. Whichever clinic you end up with it can only help your eventual chances.

Edited to add: Have a talk to some of the rehab hospitals in your area (the ones that deal with recovery after accidents and stroke). They usually have excellent gym facilities for people with balance problems - one thing in particular is the exercise bikes with proper chair-like seats so you are safe. And they will be able to help you work out what you can and can't do.

[~BecD~]

kmn - that is a really great program, to be honest i wish they ran something like that in Perth rather than having to go off and do it all by yourself.

redlady - you definitely shouldnt have someone being rude to you, and speaking to you like a child is being rude. But the basis behind - losing weight really is a positive thing.

[redlady]

My background is Im a registered nurse. I know about what is good for me diet wise. I eat healthy. I just can exercise due to vertigo.

[entreat]

That sucks to be spoken to so rudely! There are more sensitive ways to raise the issue of weight.

Actually, if this FET doesn't take, I'm putting myself on an IVF ban until I lose minimum 10%. I'm 159cm & 86kg (already lost 3kg - but still 24kg over weight), but I can't help but wonder if the other two transfers failed because of my weight. Even after losing 3kg & cutting sugar from my diet, my polycystic ovaries (not PCOS) already look better, and have much fewer cysts.

I'm not being pushy, and try not to get mad at me, but you're actually 30kg overweight. I found Weightwatchers to be of great help when I honestly *thought* I was eating right... but wasn't! Maybe you could look at a similar program, or start monitoring your calories (which has been an eye-opener for me lately!), to help lose a couple of cms.

I think a change in clinics is a rellly good thing. If the rude ones can't even be polite about weight, i can only imagine how insenstive they could be on other issues.

Best of luck for your journey.

[Curly]

My background is Im a registered nurse. I know about what is good for me diet wise. I eat healthy. I just can exercise due to vertigo.

I'm so sorry your feelings have been hurt, this is an emotional enough time already. But you really can exercise. You said yourself in your first post that you walk everywhere and climb stairs.

I lost 10kgs in 17 weeks through walking (an hour to two hours a day in addition to my incidental walking) and a simple at-home weight program using light dumbells 3 days a week. I also watched my portion sizes. It's a boring way to lose weight but it was incredibly effective and easy to maintain. Exercise does not necessarily have to mean jumping up and down and running. Can you swim without it affecting your vertigo?

There was nothing wrong with my cholesterol levels, blood sugar levels, blood pressure etc before I lost the weight but the fact was I was overweight and uncomfortable.

Even if you don't believe it won't have any effect on the outcome of your fertility treatment it will affect your quality of life when you become a mum. And honestly, if it got me the treatment I needed, I would swallow my pride and kiss my bruised ego better and do whatever I could to get my very-much-wanted baby.

If it makes you feel better I agree you should take your business elsewhere. You are spending enough money, you don't need to feel embarrassed around the people who are treating you as well.

[sushee]

I remember when I was undergoing IVF, my dr made clear my hormone levels were spot on, I ovulated like clockwork. I didn't need loads of FSH to produce a good number of good quality eggs. He told me my fertility issues were not weight related.

But as I had more and more failed cycles, I started to feel perhaps he was wrong. I too got told often 'you should lose weight, it will benefit you even if you don't need to lose it for treatment' and so to 'assist' things, in a 'rest' month, I went on a diet. I exercised and changed my eating patterns and lost 6 kgs.

The next month, I went in for treatment feeling mighty proud that I'd done everything I could to have my long-for baby.

And guess what? I didn't ovulate that month. When my dr expressed his confusion and asked what I was doing differently, I came clean and admitted that I was trying to lose weight. He told me to stop and asked why I would do something that could mess with my cycles when in fact my fertility wasn't weight-related. I stopped dieting, gained a little bit of weight back (as you do) and the next IVF cycle I did, I ovulated, like clockwork, as normal.

What did I learn from that? We are individuals and we should be treated on a case-by-case basis. Infertility is a medical issue that is so diverse and so can be caused by so many things. Why should we be treated with a one-size-fits-all approach?

And you know what? Women undergoing IVF have enough guilt about their infertility without having to yet again have another 'blanket' reason for their failure. If their fertility issues are weight-related (like PCOS) then fair enough. But to assume that my weight is why I'm not conceiving when there is clear indications that that's not the case? Sorry but I refuse to accept that infertile women take on that burden of guilt too just because some Dr is too lazy to investigate thoroughly before turning you away simply based on weight.

And btw, after we had our IVF son, my Dr mentioned in hindsight that he believed reasons for our repeated failure to implant probably had to do with a yet undiagnosed issue with my husband. The problem is that tests for women are exhuastive but for men, there are very few. So all that guilt I had carried about me 'preventing' our success by being overweight was probably for nothing after all.

[redlady]

I remember when I was undergoing IVF, my dr made clear my hormone levels were spot on, I ovulated like clockwork. I didn't need loads of FSH to produce a good number of good quality eggs. He told me my fertility issues were not weight related.

But as I had more and more failed cycles, I started to feel perhaps he was wrong. I too got told often 'you should lose weight, it will benefit you even if you don't need to lose it for treatment' and so to 'assist' things, in a 'rest' month, I went on a diet. I exercised and changed my eating patterns and lost 6 kgs.

The next month, I went in for treatment feeling mighty proud that I'd done everything I could to have my long-for baby.

And guess what? I didn't ovulate that month. When my dr expressed his confusion and asked what I was doing differently, I came clean and admitted that I was trying to lose weight. He told me to stop and asked why I would do something that could mess with my cycles when in fact my fertility wasn't weight-related. I stopped dieting, gained a little bit of weight back (as you do) and the next IVF cycle I did, I ovulated, like clockwork, as normal.

What did I learn from that? We are individuals and we should be treated on a case-by-case basis. Infertility is a medical issue that is so diverse and so can be caused by so many things. Why should we be treated with a one-size-fits-all approach?
.

Hello sushee,

Thats what happens to me when I loose weight I don't ovulate. I actually go without a period. I only get a period every two months when I drop weight.

I do believe as you keep saying there is not one size fits all approach to anything so why should there be for IVF treatment.

I did see someone say that according to my height and weight I need to loose 30kgs. Yep thats true, but also unachieveable for me. I have vestibular neuronitis. I tried to swim the other day I had to stop after 15mins as I was getting vertigo. I can do exercise in bursts of 10-15 mins but then need to stop for the rest of the day and the next day otherwise I won't be fit for work.

Yes I do need to loose 30kgs but its not like Im Obese to look at me. My stomach is not hanging over my jeans, I have a large pear shaped bottom which is where I carry my fat. Pear shaped women often have nothing wrong with them but what society judges as wrong. Pear shaped women are often fertile women.

I can try and loose weight but I think 10kg is more achieveable for me. I have always been a muscly pear shaped women. Just cause the scales read high doesn't mean Im gross looking and have fat everywhere.

Just wait till I do get started with IVF. Im sure it won't impede my ability to get pregnant. It hasn't in the past. I will just be a part of the statistics that is IVF sometimes you win some sometimes you loose some.

Redlady

ps. I dont eat candy, I dont eat chocolate (yuk), I have cut out sugar I use sweetner, I dont eat bread, I dont eat pasta, I have cut down my portion sizes drastically in the last 6 months and hello only 1kg of weight lost in 6months.

[Curly]

ps. I dont eat candy, I dont eat chocolate (yuk), I have cut out sugar I use sweetner, I dont eat bread, I dont eat pasta, I have cut down my portion sizes drastically in the last 6 months and hello only 1kg of weight lost in 6months.

This seems to be turning into a weightloss thread!

You must be so frustrated, 6 months of effort and only 1kg to show for it. Two things come to mind...

1. Have you had your thyroid checked?

2. Are you eating a high protein diet? They don't work for everybody. I actually lost my weight by cutting back meat to once a day only (so a tuna sandwich at lunch meant a meat free dinner) and eating plenty of pasta, rice and vegetables.

I'm sorry if this isn't the kind of thing you want to hear...I really am trying to help if you are left with no option but to try and lose weight before they agree to treat you.

And I still think you should get a second opinion at a different fertility specialist. I'm a big believer in feeling comfortable with your caregivers.

[redlady]

Can moderators close this thread????

I think its gone as far as its going to go.

Redlady