It's not working! :(

[Glamourcide]

And I'm getting desperate.
The weight will not shift. I've completely changed my eating habits, and am on the verge of falling back into the old 'make half an apple and a litre of water last three meals' habits. I'm doing at least 45 mins on the exercise bike twice a day and at least 3 x 10 reps (sit-ups, push-ups, leg lifts, light weight work) twice a day. IT'S NOT WORKING.
If anything, I'm getting bigger. I have 8 weeks to drop a dress size and if this doesn't start working soon, I'm going to lose my mind. My self-esteem is non-existant, I'm bursting into tears every time I walk past a mirror or reflective surface, and DH is now suggesting I go and see someone about getting counselling for my 'stupid body issues' - because when I'm feeling so cr@p about my body, he doesn't get any (he doesn't care about what I look like, but I do - and I think the last straw with him was a couple of nights ago when he flat-out refused to even consider a brachioplasty and a bit of lipo to get rid of that unshiftable loose skin and flab, telling me I was 'vain' and 'putting myself before our family' because that kind of money would be better off used to buy a house).

Breastfeeding is officially the stupidest thing I ever did. The baby won't take a bottle and my supply is already dropping because I'm working out so much and eating so little. My friends all keep telling me to get duromine but obviously I can't use it while BFing, and I can't get this baby off the boob. Wtf do I do? I'm running out of time, patience and self-esteem. I can't stand to look at myself, my body is aching from hunger and too much exercise, and yet I'm sneaking back out to the lounge room after DH falls asleep to get back on the bike. Why am I not losing weight? How can I get DD2 to wean so I can try another method of weight-loss?

Sorry for the rant. I'm just so sick and tired of seeing all my skinny little friends losing 5kgs like *that* when they're already a size 8, meanwhile I'm desperately doing all the 'right' things (even, and I can't even believe this myself, eliminating as much sugar from my diet as possible - and if you know me you probably wouldn't believe that because I *live* on sugar) and getting FATTER.

[Arimeh]

Honey, you've just had a baby. Try not to be so hard on yourself. 8 weeks is more than enough time, so just relax. You may not be losing any weight because of all the extra exercise you are doing - so you are building muscles, which weigh more than fat.

I have found the only successful weight loss I did - and I lost it quickly - was to do exercise for about 30 minutes every day - and different exercises, so I would do cardio one day, and weights the next, and then I cut out most carbs from my diet, all lollies, soft drink etc.

I still allowed myself chocolate.

Try to get on to the Calorie King website, I allowed myself 1200 calories a day, and I lost weight reallly quickly. I think with bfing you can have 1700? i'm not too sure.

Try not to stress out too much though - it will come off, just be persistent.

[butterfly_warrior]

Sometimes if you eat too little and exercise too much your body goes into starvation mode and it becomes very hard to lose weight. You may also find that your breastfeeding metabolism makes it harder to shift as well - friend of mine would gain weight while BF, no matter what she did.

I have to agree with the calorie king website - not only will it count calories but it will also let you know how much protein/fat/carbohydrate you are consuming so you can make sure you're getting a balanced diet.

Try not to be too hard on yourself.

BW

[sloane]

i'm another fan of the calorie king website! i liked it for the calorie counting help & guidelines of how many calories per day etc but i also liked that if i found i was becoming too obsessed with calorie counting (because that's a surefire way to make me want to eat MORE! ) that i could set myself things like fibre targets & that took away the pressure & made me focus on the quality & health benefits of what i was eating. and by default i lost weight & also felt better!

i also agree with BW that maybe you're not eating enough? and it does sound like you're doing alot of exercise!

the time i lost the most weight was when i saw a PT once a week - he really helped with my diet as well.

hang in there, it will come off

[aussienic]

I was going thru the same thing except I was simply to slack to exercise..

This year I have lost 12 kgs (and still going) the way i did it was this....

I stopped eating at night.. I still have the occassional snack but if I am not hungry I don't eat. If I am halfway through a meal and feel full I stop no matter how good the food tastes. I am drinking lots of water and trying to have at least 1-2 pieces of fruit a day.

I was constantly stuck at 85kg and it just wouldn't budge.. I am now down to 73. I am yet to lose my tummy but I know that won't go away without any exercise so thats next on my list

Can I make a suggestion though.. As BW said to much exercise and not enough food can actually make you gain weight. you body thinks it needs all the calories ect so takes it all from the food and stores the fat..

Maybe stick to 2-3 meals a day with a bigger lunch smaller dinner.. and if hungry have a apple or something,,

I hope you drop the dress size you want but also remember clothes hide a lot of things so go shopping for something that suits your body shape

[AllisD]

Hi

I have to agree with some of the comments above. I think that you should first of all be proud of the effort that you have already put into improving your health and fitness.

1. I think you should get out the tape measure and you may be surprised at the cm's you have lost - even though the scales wont budge.

2. Cut down your exercise - Breastfeeding makes a person extremely tired and your baby is still very young. You are probably exhausted and exercising while exhausted will only place more strain on your body that do good. 3 - 5 times a week walking is fine.

3. 8 weeks is plenty of time to lose a dress size - but for it to be of any benefit it is better to lose it consistently than quickly/crash diet.

4. Perhaps you need to refresh your mind as to healthy eating for weight loss. The Calorieking website looks fantastic.

5. If you can afford it - there are some fantastic weight loss programs that cost money - but can do several things - deliver the food to you, provide support in a controlled eating program etc etc.

I am also losing weight (Although I have a LOT more than 1 dress size to lose) and I am breastfeeding a 8 month old. It is very tough as I am always hungry and thirsty and ALWAYS tired!

Best of luck & I am sure you will do it!


AllisD

[Novella]

I have recently stopped bf my dd, I had trouble shifting the weight while bf but have managed to drop 6kg in 4 weeks when I stopped. My hunger has dropped heaps. Im not suggesting you stop bf at all, just that it may be a factor in the dificulty losing weight. Since I have stopped bf I have started weight watchers and have been going to the gym twice a week and it seems to be working


Sounds like you aren't getting enough clalories, as pp have said limiting your calories too severley will slow your metabolism significantly, also bf mothers require a significant amount of extra calories per day (I think 400-600 from memory). Good luck with the weight loss, I found it so frustrating trying to lose weight while bf and could not balance weight loss and maintaing my supply its a hard one.

[kirsty_lee]

Sometimes if you eat too little and exercise too much your body goes into starvation mode and it becomes very hard to lose weight

I was going to say that too. Have you tried eating six small meals a day? instead of the standard lge 3 meals a day. Also I agree with what someone else said about the tape measure. You might be pleasantly suprised with how many inches you've lost

[Glamourcide]

Thanks for the tips and support, ladies I'm just stuck in such a frustrated state of mind because I've lost the vast majority of the actual 'baby weight' (ie, belly & hips) and although my lower body needs a bit of toning, I'm not too unhappy with it. It's my upper body - flabby upper arms, huge pads of fat and loose skin on my back and under my arms (like beside my boobs, down my ribs) that is proving impossible to shift. I'm doing everything I can think of to work my back, shoulders and arms and it doesn't seem to be making a whit of difference - to be honest I'm not even using scales to measure weight, just my trusty tape measure and seeing how a certain outfit fits on me to determine whether any change is happening, and so far, no good. I'm so desperate to get rid of these disgusting arms - my upper arms are nearly four times the width of my forearms, and it's so disproportionate and ugly it makes me sick to look at. Trying different clothes to hide it doesn't help, as baggy/looser-fitting clothing on my upper body just makes me look like an elephant, and even *more* disproportionate when I have a pair of twigs with knees sticking out underneath it all, kwim? If I was a nice, even size 14 all over I wouldn't worry about losing weight or getting into shape, but because I have size 9 hips and legs and from the waist up I'm much, much bigger, it's really messing with my head.

I am trying to be sensible about my eating, as in 6 small meals/snacks rather than 3 larger meals, but as a recovered anorexic it's really hard to avoid falling back into the old habits of excessive exercise and obsessing about food. Of course I don't want to go there, for my own health as well as providing a good example to my girls, but it's a fine line when I'm so preoccupied with how awful I'm looking right now

[CrazyLady]

You need to relax and ease off on the exercise a tad. Sometimes stress can also contribute to weight gain and also try to get more sleep because studies have shown that people who sleep more are less likely to have weight problems. I know that's hard to say with a 4 month old baby but try heading to bed and having a cuddle with DH instead of sneaking back on the bike.

[ladybird11]

Hey, don't go back to those old habits hun...

I would also recommend measuring as opposed to scales - and I do that with my PT clients too....

I suggest changing up the routine a bit to 'shock' the body into action, that always works a treat. If you can do some bicep curls with weights, shoulder presses, tricep dips, lateral raises etc you will definately help shape your arms a bit more hun...

Feel free to PM me if you need more info

[Michelle71]

OK - some gentle questions ........... why do you need to drop a dress size in 8 weeks?? Do you want to continue BF??

I lose weight pregnant and then gain weight BF. I cannot shift it. But I choose to continue BF and *cope* with my unhappiness with my body. I am overweight to begin with. Pregnancy adds body fat to those who need it (and I don't!!) during pregnancy as a survival method so you can feed your baby. You sound like you have a slight build and as such your body needs the extra fat stores when pregnant and BF.

Fat stores are important in pre-historic survival and continue to be created in todays body, despite adequate food. If you don't eat enough, you will actually preserve your fat stores as much as possible and then when you eat properly again you are more likely to increase your fat percentage as your body conserves for the next round of *starvation*.

Your skinny friends are probably not BF - and that ease of weight loss tends to diminish as they get older too Be patient with yourself. Try to eat a healthy, balanced diet and moderate exercise. Be kind to yourself - you just had a baby!!! Your body is an amazing thing that grew and nurtured life and continues to do so. Be proud

[Floweryfields]

You can actually cause yourself to gain weight by not eating enough. I think that could be where you're going wrong. Your body thinks it's starving so it's holding on to the fat instead of letting it go. You should be having around 1600 kjs at each meal - a total of about 1400 calories per day. This will ensure fat loss but at a sensible rate.

I personally have lost almost 5kg using this method in the past 6 -7 weeks.

[skeetaboat]

I agree with PP's - you're taking in too few cals for your body's needs and it's shutting down in response - the fact that your milk is drying up is evidence that your body is trying to expend less energy. Try upping it to 1800 cals or 2000 if you're exercising. A 1000 cal deficit per day should see you lose 1 kg per week, but it might take a week of eating more cals for your body to realise it can come out of starvation mode and start burning the excess again. Goodluck, I know how frustrating it is, especially when you're putting in all the hard work.

[skeetaboat]

Also, if you've got a history of anorexia, your body will go into metabolic shut down quite easily, because starvation is familiar territory.

[C~Q]

Hon, be careful...did you see anybody when you were recovering? Perhaps you should go and talk to them again? It is so easy to slip back into old habits and i'm sure you know that that is NOT somewhere you want to go.

Ease off yourself babe...like a few people have said - an excessive cal defecit will slow down your metabolism and push your body into "starvation" mode. And you must know how much more effectively your body will utilise the exercise you are doing when you fuel it properly.

Trust me - doing 20 push ups with perfect strenght and technique is way more effective than 100 weak push ups with badly nourished and fatigued muscles.

Try to get out of the headspace as food as a poison for your body. Think about it as fuel your body needs for the exercise you want to do.

I hope you are ok and if you need to chat then PM me hon - i'm a recovering anorexic, recovering over-exerciser (ok, if i'm honest i'm managing it not over it but baby steps!) and i'm a gym/fitness instructor. I know what you're going through and i'd like to help x