Hi
Im just wandering if anyone is or has been thro step-parent adoption?????????
My DP is looking at adopting my 8yr old DD He father is unknown
We looked into it 18 months ago but was told by 2 solicitiors that it would cost us between 10-15 grand and as we didnt have that sort of money we decided to leave it.
But we are now thinking about it again as we are having problems with DP childsupport as they will not recongise DD as DP depenedant... (this is not the only reason we are thinking about adoption) and we cant get a court order done under the family law act becoz we are not married......
It has been a huge headache
Im goin to be getting in contact with DHS today to enquire about adoption and the process but i was just wandering if any of you lovely ladys or men have been thro it all and wat advice could you give me.....
My parents adopted my sister (when she was over 18) and did not need a lawyer. They were able to get the papers themselves and file them with the family court.
It might be different because your son is still a minor, but i assume that all parties are in agreement, and if the (sperm) father is unknown then he would have no claim to make and it may be possible for you to claim for adoption yourselves. Lots of the costs associated would be the lawyer fees and if you can cut them out it might be more achievable.
What bothers me about this, speaking as an adopted person, is that by adopting the child - they will lose their prior identity.
I don't think that such lengths should be taken, so you will have an easier time with childsupport? Why can't other options (ie, marriage) be taken.
Why does the child bear the brunt of these changes, so life will be easier for you?
This won't have a detrimental affect on the child, you won't be taking away their truth and their real identity. Losing one's identity, is a huge thing - especially if its not in the best interests of the child. Monetary reasons are, in my view, not acceptable reasons to lose your identity.
I would prefer guardianship or similar, but adoption is not an avenue that I would go down when other ways are possible to achieve the outcome you want.
I understand what blondeangel means, but I do I get what you mean more Sarah.
My parents did this for me as my.. ahem "father" had nothing to do with me, where as my Dad has been in my life forever.
I never felt as though I lost an identity because it was never an identity I ever knew. If anything, I was embarrassed that somewhere out there, there was someone I was related to who wanted nothing to do with me. I have since met that man, and he has since died, but my Dad is still around, and I am so so so happy to have had his name until the day I married.
Sorry I am of no help to you. If your child already goes by your DP's name, and lives with you & your DP, I don't understand why your DD wouldn't/couldn't be regarded as a dependent (she is dependent on him right?)
Urgh... the system bugs me sometimes!
All the best hun
blondeangel, seeing that smcgt has said that her DD's bio father is unknown I don't see how her being adopted by the person that she identifies as her father will affect her identitiy? Obviously it's not for child support reasons so how would making the family legally one unit be a negative experience?
Anyone been thro step-parent adoption in VIC
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